all i want to do is
get next to y o u . . .
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My last class of the day usually takes forever to end, but I think that's because I just can't wait to get home. It's a history elective class and the only reason I signed up for it was because Blair did and she said the teacher was really lax. She was right – my teacher Mr. Kofta is a cool guy.
Except she got put in this class at a different time, so we don't have it together. I probably could have dropped out of it and signed up for something else, but it's an easy class to have at the end of the day. So I stayed, and that's where I am right now.
The bell is about to ring in a couple minutes and I've been shaking my leg up and down, antsy to get out of here. It's only Wednesday and of course, I have Gracie today. But there's also the fact that there's a little more than a month left until Christmas and a week until Thanksgiving. It's safe to say that everyone is pretty excited for the holiday season that's quickly approaching us.
"Alright! So I've been thinking of ideas for the midterm because I've decided to give you all a test instead of a project," Mr. Kofta called from the front of the room. Simultaneous groans filled the air and he laughed, shaking his head at his unenthusiastic students. "Well you're already doing a final project, so I figured you wouldn't want two!"
"Why do we have to have a test? Can't you just give us all A's?" A jock in the back asked.
Mr. Kofta laughed at that and nodded. "Wouldn't that be great?" He smirked, and then bell rang right after he finished his sentence. "Have a good rest of the day, guys! See you tomorrow."
I whisked my bag off the floor and headed out the door, venturing to my locker to put away anything that was making my bag too heavy. I pulled open the metal door and threw my things inside it, adjusted my bag on my shoulder and shut the door. When I turned to walk away, I probably made it two steps before someone grabbed my wrist from behind and stopped me.
"The fuck?" I muttered in confusion, spinning around to face whoever it was.
"Hi," Josh breathed a smile, releasing my wrist.
I chuckled a little. Of course it's him – who else did you really expect?
"Hi," I smiled too.
"I saw you leaving but I wanted to ask you something before it's too late," he spoke quickly.
"Okay," I nodded. "Don't be too long, I have to babysit."
"Yeah, I have practice so don't worry," he gestured to his duffle bag that's hanging from his shoulder. I nodded and shifted my weight to one leg, crossing my arms.
He seems really tired and out of it for some reason today. His eyes aren't in their normal, sparkling state. He's out of breath, and I can tell his mind is in a million different places.
I sort of want to give him a hug.
Shut up.
"Are you okay?" I asked slowly, raising an eyebrow.
"Y-yeah," he stuttered. He let out a deep breath and finally looked up at me. "It's weigh-in day and I'm really fucking stressed."
"Oh," I said. That explains it. I've heard that weigh-in day is a really stressful time for the wrestlers.
"So I wanted to ask you if, um," he changed the subject, ruffling his hair around. "If you... have a date to the Snow Ball," he said slowly.
His eyes searched mine and I felt my throat close. Speechless again, are we?
I've never been asked to a school dance.
The only reason why I went to Junior Prom last year was because Michael and I were shit-outta-luck with dates, so we decided to go together as friends. Other than that, I usually just tag along with Blair and Matt – dateless.
The Snow Ball is a winter-themed dance that Ridgeway High hosts every few years. It's like a mini-Prom, except it's held in our giant cafeteria and there's small appetizers instead of big meals. Everyone has to wear either white or black formal clothes, you can get cheesy pictures taken by the photographer, eat some food and then go home.
The last time they had it, my classmates and I were freshman. Obviously, it's been a long time since then, and it's pretty much the buzz of the school right now since it's in a month.
I stopped chewing on my bottom lip and finally answered him.
"Uh, no. I don't," I tried to say it confidently, but I think it came out more awkward. "I haven't really been thinking about it."
A small smile came to his face and he nodded. "What would you say about us going together?"
"As dates? Like a romantic kind of thing?" I asked.
"Well, yeah, as dates. But I know you hate romance so that's why I'm asking you casually," he explained with a light laugh.
"So then as friends?" I smirked a little.
"Whatever you want it to be, okay?" He laughed again, obviously fed up from me toying with his question. "So what do you say?"
I want to say yes. Somewhere deep inside me, a little girl is screaming about how this would be my first date to a dance. About how I could dress up and look really pretty and have someone actually appreciate it for once.
But the little girl's voice wasn't quite loud enough, and the stubborn, insecure bull took over.
"Can I think about it?" I bit my lip.
"Sure," he nodded. "But not for too long."
"I'll try," I rolled my eyes playfully.
"Let me know. We still have time, but I wanted to make sure nobody else asked you," he stepped around me, starting to walk away.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about," I smiled.
He smiled right back, shot me a wink, then turned around and headed down the hallway in a rush. I watched until he disappeared into the sea of students, and the small smile still lingered on my lips.
You have got a lot of thinking to do.
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The following week consisted of a routine. Thinking about the dance, getting excited about the dance, thinking too much about the dance, and then doubting the whole situation. And I kept all that bottled up for almost a week.
On Tuesday, I cracked.
Sitting in my morning study hall with Blair at our table, I felt the words dancing on the tip of my tongue. I had no idea how I made it this long without telling her, but it needed to come out now.
There's only one more day until Thanksgiving weekend and I know I won't see much of Blair because I'm going away as soon as school ends tomorrow. And I cannot wait that long.
But as soon as I opened my mouth, she beat me to it.
"Hey, you know what I was thinking about?" She looked up at me from her math homework.
"Hm?" I hummed, perking up and trying to calm my racing mind.
"You haven't had a hook up in a long time, have you?" She asked, a smirk appearing on her face. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms.
I nodded my head and breathed a light laugh. "Yeah, it's been a while," I agreed.
"What's happening to you?" She chuckled. "Usually you'd be hunting down a guy right now."
"I don't know," I shrugged it off. "Just haven't really been in the mood, I guess."
"I know what's happening," she said cheekily. I look up at her and she's grinning at me with a know-it-all gleam in her eyes. "It's Josh."
I scoffed at that and shook my head. "Definitely not. But now that you mention it, I've been meaning to tell you something," I said casually. Her eyes widened a bit and she nodded, focusing solely on me now. "He asked me about going to the Snow Ball with him last week. I told him I'd think about it."
She continued to stare at me with a doe-eyed look and her mouth slightly open. A minute went by without her saying anything.
Then the screaming came.
"You. Are. Lying!" She shrieked, grasping my shoulders and shaking me.
"Blair, relax," I gritted my teeth.
"Tell me you're joking. I'm living in a dream right now," she put her hands on her forehead.
"I am not joking," I clarified.
"And you said you'd think about it?" She raised her voice towards the end of her question, her face in shock.
Our study hall adviser cast us a warning glare, and I apologetically smiled back.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She smacked my shoulder.
"Dude!" I yelped, reaching for my right shoulder that's now in pain. "Is it that horrible of me to want to think about it?"
"I would have said yes and then fainted," she gushed with a sigh.
"Oh, I know," I laughed. "But I'm not you. I didn't want to say yes right away because I'm still a little unsure about him."
"You're so frustrating, you know that?" She muttered, shaking her head. I opened my mouth to answer her, but she kept on talking. "Why won't you just give him a chance?"
"Blair, you know I don't date," I sang, raising my eyebrows at her.
She rolled her eyes and let out a dramatic, flustered sigh. Here we go.
"I don't understand it. He's an attractive, genuine, polite guy who is interested in you, and actually wants to get to know you rather than just have sex with you. You're so stubborn that you won't even admit that maybe you like the attention he gives you.
"You're scared of commitment and that's why you keep pushing him away. But maybe if you just let your guard down and give him a chance, you'll see that relationships and love aren't bullshit," she ended her rant with another sigh and fell back in her seat.
My usual smirk appeared now as I stared at her for a moment before speaking again.
"Are you done listing off all the things that are wrong with me?" I sarcastically replied, to which she rolled her eyes.
"We are totally different people," she grumbled and shook her head.
"That's why we're best friends," I grinned at her.
She glanced over at me for a moment, trying to figure something out. Then she leaned her elbows on the table and lowered her voice.
"Are you gonna go with him?" She asked, back to our original discussion.
"I'm not sure," I shrugged. "He said as a 'casual' thing, not like romantic or anything. I-"
"You should definitely say yes because you've never been asked to a dance before!" She squealed, clapping her hands together.
Excited Blair is back.
I rolled my eyes and laughed at her, but nodded my head to agree. "I know. That's why I'm thinking of just saying yes. What's the worst that could happen? He's not asking me to marry him," I justified.
"Exactly," she bobbed her head up and down. "I mean, maybe by the end of the night you guys will fall in love and-"
"Blair," I groaned, putting my hand up. "Please."
"I'm excited! What if-"
"No more suggestions," I cut her off again and shook my head. I sighed and put my chin in my hands, feeling her gaze on me from the side. "I'm so back and forth with this whole thing."
"I know. That's why you need to say yes and go with the flow," she nudged me.
"I go with the flow," I mimicked her with a smirk, turning to her. "I'm just picky with what flow I go with."
She chuckled and started working on her math homework again. "Shut up," she whispered. "Just be happy that for once, you don't have to be in the middle of mine and Matt's slow dance."
I shoved her shoulder at that and we both started cracking up, thinking of all the times I've third-wheeled it with them. I never really minded though, except for when they get all mushy and romantic. Then I start gagging.
Anyway, like I said, I feel like I could use a change. It's just actually going through with the change that will be the hard part.
But I think I'll be able to manage. I'm a bull, after all. I can handle pretty much anything thrown my way.
Including boys with sparkling brown eyes and good intentions.
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A/N - idk what vic was thinking but obviously she's delusional bc i'm totally on blair's side. i'd say yes in a heartbeat *swoons* OKAY ANYWAY!!! did anybody think that josh would ask her to a dance? thoughts on her reaction to it all? thoughts on anything?!
i'm super stoked bc there's so much more to come and i can't wait for y'all to go on this journey with me :) now i'm being cheesy but that's my job (i'm actually a professional cheeseball). thanks for sticking with me and for reading this story! hope you know i love ya lots.
dedicated to: elegantness :)
song: give it to me by the maine
photo: story cover
xoxo, sabbbycat