i'll never let you go
if you promise not to fade a w a y . . .
▪️▫️▪️
Telling Blair about Josh asking me out is one thing. Telling my parents is another. They're about as excited as she is.
I think everyone else is more excited than I am about this night out with Josh.
When the following Saturday approached me, my mom couldn't have asked me more questions. About Josh, about where we're going, about my outfit. Every single detail had to be discussed. Blair joining us didn't help either.
"Honey, tell me more about him! Is he going to stop in and talk with us before you go?" My mom pestered me for more information.
"Mom, it's not like you're meeting my boyfriend, so hopefully he won't get out of the car. But he's pretty polite and has manners, so he might want to say hello and talk about the Beatles for a little while," I shrugged, trying not to roll my eyes. I'm pretty sure if I keep rolling my eyes, they'll end up in the back of my head.
"He is super polite," Blair nodded along with my statement, causing a grin to spread across both my parents faces. "He really is. He's probably one of the nicest guys in our class."
"Yes, he's really nice. But it's not a date so everyone can stop freaking out," I sighed.
"Vicky, my love, I told you that we'd be excited if anything did happen between you and a boy. And the fact that it's a handsome boy who has great taste in music makes it even better!" My mom gushed.
"Mom."
"It's normal for you to be feeling torn between wanting to date and not wanting to date. It's new to you and you're unsure of what to think," my dad started on his typical therapeutic speech. "You know, when-"
"Alright, I'm leaving now," I cut him off with a chuckle. "I have to get ready, it's already quarter-to-seven and he's coming at seven-thirty."
I stood up from my chair and Blair popped up too, following me to the door to go inside. The four of us had been sitting out on my back deck, talking about this stupid outing with Josh for the past however many hours.
"Try to look presentable! Not like you're going to a rock concert. He's a classy rich boy, after all," my mom called after me.
"Okay," I sang with a smirk.
There's no way in hell I'm changing myself to impress this kid.
Blair and I ventured up the stairs and to my room, as she laid down on my bed while I went to my closet to search for a different shirt. She kept her mouth shut for a little while, not pestering me about tonight anymore which I'm thankful for. Between her and my parents, I couldn't handle it for much longer.
I decided to keep on my ripped jeans and I picked out a white and red ringer tee instead for my top. After I changed into it, I touched up my makeup and ruffled my hair around a bit to make it just the way I wanted it. I slid into my old, checkered slip-on Vans, grabbed my denim jacket for another layer because I know I'll probably get cold, and I was done.
"You ready?" Blair looked up at me when I spun around to face her.
"Yup," I nodded with a grin. I watched her eyes go from my head to my toes, analyzing my outfit choice.
"You look cute," she finally nodded with a warm smile. "Casual, but cute."
"Thanks," I shrugged, smirking at her.
I didn't want to go back downstairs and face more questions from my parents, so Blair and I stayed in my room until a couple minutes before 7:30. Then we waited in the living room together while my parents were still out back until Josh got here.
"He's here, I'll see you guys later," I stuck my head out the back door.
"If he wants to meet us, let him! We don't bite!" My mom insisted.
"Have fun!" My dad grinned.
"Alright, alright," I waved goodbye and then went to the front of the house where Blair was waiting. We walked outside together as she headed for Matt's car, who was parked at the curb for her.
"Have a good time," Blair smiled, wrapping me in a quick hug before we parted ways. "Let me know what goes on."
"Will do. Wish me luck," I grinned. We waved goodbye to each other and I headed for the unfamiliar car that's parked in front of Matt's.
My lips rolled into my mouth at the look of his car. A brand new, slate-colored, two-door Audi that's probably at least six figures. I glanced back at my little Beetle in my driveway and smiled at it, then pried open Josh's passenger door and plopped into the seat.
The smell of gorgeous leather filled my nostrils and I sighed happily. At least it's clean in here. My eyes quickly scanned over the interior until they fell onto his gaze.
"Hi," he gave me a boyish grin.
"Hiya," I chirped, buckling my seatbelt. He put the car in drive and rolled away from my house, smoothly riding down the street. "My parents wanted to meet you so they could talk about your similar tastes in music, but we don't have to do that."
"Are you sure? I can turn back around, if you want," he said quickly, looking over at me.
"It's fine, trust me," I laughed. "Maybe some other time."
"Well hey, at least I get a shot at going out with you again," he looked over at me with a smirk and a wink. I just smiled back and shook my head.
▪️▫️▪️
Josh had told me that this is going to be a "casual date" so I'm not really sure what he has planned. I figure maybe a movie or a simple dinner somewhere, but he didn't tell me until we got to our destination.
On the way there, we just small-talked like I said we would so Blair doesn't have to worry about this night being awkward. Of course I'm not the best at making conversation, but I can try.
We pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall consisting of things like a Chinese restaurant, a hair salon, a dance studio and a few other places. I knit my eyebrows together and looked at all the different businesses in front of me, wondering which one we could be going to.
"Chinese food?" I questioned, turning to Josh.
He just smiled back at me and silently got out of the car. I breathed a laugh and followed him, shutting the door behind me and walking up to the building.
"So you're a mute now?" I asked with a smirk.
"No," he grinned. "I just want to see your full reaction when we get to the place."
"You're weird," I commented, laughing a little. We continued walking down the row of stores and businesses, stopping at one near the end.
Josh spun around to smile at me as he paused in front of the door, waiting for my reaction.
My eyes traveled up the glass windows and to the neon sign at the top. Brightly colored and so nostalgic.
"An arcade?" I smiled, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, you ready to get destroyed on every game in here?" He smirked as he opened the door for me.
"No way. Arcades were my favorite as a kid," I brushed his comment aside. "Prepare to get your ass beat – especially in skee-ball. That's my forté."
"Okay princess," he sang with a gloating smile on his face as we walked inside together.
I spun around and playfully glared at him, shaking my head. "Don't you dare call me that," I retorted.
"Okay," he shrugged, biting his smile back. I smiled and walked up to the change machine with him, but he spat one last comment in my ear before he took off ahead of me. "Princess."
"That's it, I'm totally kicking your ass tonight," I called after him, rushing over to get as many quarters out as I could without emptying my entire wallet.
Then for the next however many hours, we ran around the arcade with the other various groups of kids there, hopping from game to game. I totally lost track of time and transported back to when I was young. I forgot about any responsibilities I had.
Admitting it is hard, but I've been having a really good time on this thing. Outing. "Pre-date" as Blair would say – though it's not.
It's two friends going to an arcade on a Saturday night and having some fun.
When I realized that I'd be broke in a matter of minutes, we stopped exchanging our money for quarters and counted our tickets. I had been eyeing up the prize table all night and really didn't know what I'd be able to get.
"Ladies first," Josh gestured for me to hand my tickets in to the girl behind the counter.
I smirked at him and gave her my obnoxious handful, watching her fold them up and put them in the scale. I always wondered how they measured out the tickets as a kid, and I'm still not sure. It's like magic to me.
She came back over to me and handed me a much smaller stack, with tickets worth higher amounts. "Thirteen twenty-two," she told me. Mine and Josh's jaws dropped together.
1,322 tickets; not bad at all.
"Your turn," I smiled to Josh, looking around at what prizes I could get. He gave her his tickets and she weighed them, giving him a small amount.
"Eight fifty-five," she said.
My jaw dropped again, but my mouth quirked up into a smile. I told him I was an avid arcade gamer.
"I won! I got more tickets!" I pointed at him.
"You cheated, that's why," he chuckled, putting his hand on my shoulder as he looked at the prize wall.
My heart skittered at the gesture. I just shook it off.
"That's always the case, isn't it?" I grinned up at him. He smiled back at me and winked, then looked at the wall again.
"Pick out your prize, princess," he said softly, making me roll my eyes.
After contemplating on my prize choices, I decided on a small stuffed tiger – which took up most of my tickets. Then with the remaining amount, I got some bouncy balls and glittery bracelets for Gracie. Josh ended up getting a Coca-Cola poster and a pair of purple nerd glasses.
So now it's almost 10 o'clock and we haven't eaten yet. My stomach is grumbling and groaning, and I didn't realize how hungry I was until we left the arcade.
"Can we stop to eat? I think I might pass out if we don't," I chuckled, strapping myself in once we got in his car.
"Of course," he smiled. He started up his car and left the strip mall, heading down the road until he turned into a different shopping center. One with a pizza place. My mouth started to water at the thought of pizza.
Once he parked, we got out and walked up to the door, him opening it for me. What a gentleman.
"So what do you think of this date so far?" He smirked, spreading his arm across the top of his booth and looking at me after we already ordered.
"It's not a date, but it's been pretty fun," I narrowed my eyes, smiling afterwards.
"Whatever you say," he sang with a grin.
Is that everyone's favorite saying?
"Well, you kicked some ass out there," he admitted with a sheepish look on his face. "But you do know that I let you win, right?"
"Oh shut up, you're such a liar," I sneered, and he laughed at my bitter reaction. I laughed too, enjoying the sight of him smiling right in front of me.
He is so damn attractive. Why?
The waitress brought over our food a few minutes later, and I dug in almost right away. And we talked; about life and friends and old memories. The conversation never became dull.
He might be shy, but he's so easy to talk to once he opens up. It's so effortless to be around him. I feel like I could say anything and not worry about what he thinks.
This boy is different than the rest. This boy is special.
"You surprised me tonight, Hunt," I told him truthfully with a nod.
"Why is that, Harris?" He mocked me, smirking of course.
"Because I thought you were going to take me to some fancy, uptight restaurant where you can't even pronounce half the things on the menu. But when you texted me that it was gonna be 'casual', I was really surprised," I shrugged. "Then we showed up at an arcade and... I don't know. You're not like how I thought you would be."
It's true, as much as I don't want to admit it. I can't help but be honest though.
He chuckled a bit and nodded at my confession, rubbing his fingers across his freshly-shaven jawline. A little part of me wanted to run my fingers along it too. I ignored it.
"If that's what you wanted, I could have done that. But it's not me. I'm not like what people label me as – I'm not some stuck-up, snotty rich kid. Like my sister thinks she is," he sighed at the mention of Jaclyn.
So he's not only attractive, but he's real.
I keep trying to think of reasons not to continue going out with him, but they're diminishing by the seconds. He continues to prove to me that he's perfect.
But I can't date him. I just can't.
"She's interesting," I said a few seconds later with a small smile.
He laughed at that, shaking his head and sighing. "That's not what I would say."
We finished up our food and paid for our meal, which was really Josh sliding his card to the waitress and not letting me even pay for the tip. I argued with him over it for a minute, but he insisted on paying.
We walked outside together and slowly made our way to his car in the lot.
"What are you going to name your tiger?" He asked, breaking the comfortable silence.
"Rajah," I smiled happily, referencing one of my favorite Disney movies, Aladdin.
"Wow. She likes arcades and she has great taste in movies," he spoke in third person about me with a grin. I giggled a little, shaking my head.
I walked to the passenger's side door and opened it up, but his voice made me pause for a moment.
"Victoria," he used my full name, capturing my attention instantly. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "I think we're going to get along great."
A wide smile spread across my lips. "I think so too, Joshua," I mimicked his use of my full name, then plopped down in the leather seat.
He got in too and started the car up, then headed back home on the dark, somewhat deserted highway.
It was a quiet, peaceful car ride for the most part. There was nothing much to say, but it wasn't awkward this time. It was comfortable, and there's not many people that can have that effect on me.
I leaned my elbow on the window ledge and watched the dark scenery pass us by as Josh sped down the road. I glanced up at the sky, seeing a clear night above me and millions of stars illuminate their background.
The radio was playing on a low volume, until "Starlight" by Muse came on which triggered something in Josh. His hand instantly reached forward and turned the volume knob a bit, making the car fill with the familiar sound of the song. I didn't mind, though. I just continued to stare out the window and hum the tune quietly to myself.
"I'll never let you go, if you promise not to fade away. Never fade away," Josh sang in the softest, sweetest voice, making a smile grow on my face.
I looked over at him and his eyes went from looking straight ahead on the road to mine. And it seemed like we were like that for an hour, when it was probably just three seconds or so.
His eyes held something in them that I couldn't decode. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it.
He suddenly turned back to look forward and cleared his throat. "I love this song," he stated the obvious. "It's one of my favorites."
"I like it too," I smiled, nodding my head. He smiled too.
"It's one of those songs that has a really special meaning, so I feel like I can't skip it whenever it comes on," he chuckled lightly, turning the volume down a notch.
"I know what you mean," I agreed. "Those are the best because they have a certain effect on you that nothing else does."
His head moved and I felt his eyes on the side of my face, and when I turned to look at him he was already smiling at me. And I couldn't help but smile back.
Josh's P.O.V.
I pulled up to Victoria's house a little while later, and she put her hands on her lap and sighed. My hands gripped the wheel a little tight and I didn't notice until right now, so I released them and let out a quiet breath.
"Thank you... for tonight," she said softly, her words slow. She turned her head and her eyes connected with mine and I felt like I couldn't pull away. Not that I planned on it.
She literally has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Not to mention their crystal blue color compliments her dark hair perfectly.
"You're welcome," I said, a smirk tugging at my lips.
"You proved me wrong," she nodded a little. Her mouth curved upwards as a smirk mocking mine made its way onto her face. "You're not so bad, Josh."
"Does this mean I get a chance at doing this with you again?" I challenged, raising an eyebrow.
I already know what her answer is going to be. She's pretty easy to read, but she makes it seem like she's not. I've come to notice that she puts up a front to mask her feelings – a front that's nearly impossible to break.
Keyword being nearly.
So I don't even know why I asked her that. But I guess it's because I don't want her to get out of the car yet. I could sit here and go back and forth with her for hours, sarcastic reply after sarcastic reply.
"I'll think about it," she held the smirk on her face, prying open the car door without breaking our stare. "See you later."
I shook my head and breathed a laugh, watching her exit my car with grace. "See you later," I repeated. She smiled one last time at me, then shut the door and walked up to her house.
I waited until she got inside to pull away, then I drove back home in the quiet of my car, the radio a faint murmur in the background. My mind is swamped with thoughts, so I rolled down the window and kept it open until I got home. A cool breeze and a night drive always seems to put me into a blissful state.
I walked up to the door and slipped my key into the lock, easing it open and shutting it behind me. Giovanni came running out of nowhere with a tired look on his face, and once he realized it was me, he relaxed.
"Oh, Mr. Josh. It's just you," he breathed, his faint Italian accent making me chuckle. "I forgot you were out."
"Sorry I scared you," I laughed.
He waved his hand dismissively, straightening up a bit and composing himself. "How was your night? You were with a girl, correct?" He asked.
"Yes, I was," I smiled and rolled my eyes a little. "But we're only friends. For now."
A grin came to his face immediately. "Mr. Josh, if she does not fall in love with you, she is a fool," he remarked.
"She's hardly a fool," I breathed, a smile lingering on my lips. "But you don't have to say that shit, you're pushing it a little."
He sheepishly smiled and bowed at me in apology, and I shook my head with a laugh. He dismissed himself from our conversation and I marched on to the kitchen.
Giovanni has been our butler for as long as I've been alive. He's a family friend of ours who migrated from Italy years ago. He's hardly got any real family over here, so he's stays with us and he fits right in. It'd be weird to live in a house without him.
With the foyer dark and quiet, I approached the kitchen, knowing the staff has been long gone. But I didn't expect to see my sister awake, sitting at the island.
Her head spun around and she saw me, her expression not changing. "Hi," she said blandly.
"Hey," I sighed as I went over to the fridge, searching for something to drink. I found a can of ginger ale a few seconds later, cracking it open and taking a long sip.
"Where were you?" Jaclyn asked with a curious tone.
"Out," I smirked, and she rolled her eyes.
"Thanks for the thrilling story," she muttered, putting down her phone and crossing her arms.
I stared at her in a bit of shock – not because of her response, I'm used to her bitchy attitude – but because she actually put down her phone.
That girl wouldn't put her phone down if our house was on fire. Or if she was crossing the street and a car was about to hit her. She's addicted to it.
"You want to hear about my night?" I raised an eyebrow, taking another sip.
"My phone is about to die and I don't feel like going upstairs to get my charger," she shrugged.
I knew there'd be a reason behind it.
I sighed and leaned onto the island counter top, standing across from her. I took a slow sip from my soda, feeling her somewhat eager eyes burn through me. "I was out with my friend Vic," I finally said.
She stared at me for a moment, looking deep in thought, until she opened her mouth. "That girl who's friends with that blonde?"
"Blair?" I questioned, and she nodded. I nodded too, and then her eyes widened a bit. She leaned back in her seat with a look on her face that made it seem like she knows something I obviously don't. "What?"
"Nothing," she squeaked, quickly shaking her head. That's a lie. "I just hear that she sleeps around a lot... you know? She doesn't really date. She fucks a guy and then moves on."
I stopped myself from wincing at that and breathed out a slow sigh. My eyes dropped to the counter top as my hands gripped the can of ginger ale. "I know," I said quietly. "But we're just friends. It wasn't a date or anything. I took her to the arcade, we got some pizza, and that was it."
"Hm," she hummed, and I could see her nodding out of the corner of my eye. "Doesn't seem like your type. Do you like her?" I rolled my eyes now and looked back up at her with a knowing glance. "What? I'm a girl- I live for this kind of stuff," she explained with a shrug.
Then I just groaned and put my hands on my face, breathing harshly into them. After feeling her stare bore into the backs of my hands that are hiding my face, I came to a conclusion.
One that's obvious, but it took a lot for me to actually admit it. Because once I do, there's no turning back.
So here goes nothing.
"I think I do," I said quietly, pulling my hands away and looking up at my confused twin. "I think I really like her."
▪️▫️▪️
A/N - hehehe this is where it all starts guys. the crush is real. any thoughts on josh and vic's "date"? i thought it was lowkey cute and i really wanna go to an arcade now. did you like the little bit in josh's pov? if you did, you're in luck because there's a handful of times where it switches in the story to his point of view! i always like to switch it up a bit bc i feel like it gets boring with the same pov the whole time idk.
and oMG this already gOT 1K READS?!? WHAT. i know it had a decent amount when i first published it due to the fact that this was in my drafts for seven months lol but still!!!! i'm so glad you guys are liking this story bc i really am so proud of it and i just love it so much soRRY OKAY I'LL SHUT UP NOW.
ALSO IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY NOTICE, MY SEMI-HIATUS IS OVER *bless* THANK YOU FOR READING AS ALWAYS AND I LOVE YA LOTS!
dedicated to: stydiots :)
song: starlight by muse (this song is very important ok)
photo: gif of josh's night drive
xoxo, sabbbycat