A/N: I had to do research on D&D for this and it actually looks like a fun game!Thank you so much to fox_with_a_Fedora for suggesting this!!
*Maria's POV*
A buzz comes off from my phone and I glance at my bedside table. I snuggle deeper into the blankets, praying it stops. Buzz, buzz, buzz. Vibrations shake through the bedside table.
"Ughhhhh," I groan, slipping my hand out of the blankets and feeling for my phone. I expect it's James asking me out on another date when I'm trying to sleep. I don't really mind going with him because he would pay, free food! Who could turn that down, right? Surprisingly, it's not him. It's my nerd group chat. Typical.
You have 66 new messages from: D&D Geeks
Peggles: O M G! D&D special edition is coming out 2day!!!
Peggles: Any1 want to come to toys r us and wait outside 4 it? Then play it for 5 hours? They open @ 8 am
Jamsiezzz Mads: Really? Aw! I got chess club!
Peggles: Aw that suxs! Anyone else free?
Hammy Ham: *sucks, *Oh my God, *Dungeons and Dragons, *anyone *ToysRUs, *for, *today, Proper grammar's important!
Burrrrrrrr: Can you guys be quiet? I'm in the library! The librarian is shushing me and I don't know how to socialize
Hammy Ham: I could help you with socializing
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrr: Nope. I do NOT need you're help
Hammy Ham: *your
I smile at my nerdy friends and type a response.
Maria: OH MY GOSH I'M SLEEPIN'
Peggles: But srsly you guys free?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr: No, I'm reading. Now shush.
Hammy Ham: Got a date with Jackie.
Jamsiezzz Mads: Chess Club!
Tutrtles: Date with Lexi
Peggles: Maria?
Maria: Well yes I'm free, but I'm also hungry and tired.
Peggles: I can get food
Maria: I really am craving some flamin hot chetos
Peggles: I gotchu gurl
Maria: Give me 10 seconds.
Before getting ready, I glance at the clock, 3:26 am, good god, and Burr's at a library? He probably spent the night there knowing him.
Maria: Excuse me Peglet but it's 3:00 am! Why is everyone up?
Peggles: And?
Maria: It opens at 8:00 Peggy.
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr: I woke up at the library, don't blame me.
Hammy Ham: Sleep's no fun.
Turtles: Alex woke me up.
Jamsiezzz Mads: Thomas.
Maria: Burr what the frick?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr: Don't ask.
Maria: Ok.. well Peggy I'm not waiting 5 hours for D&D
Peggles: Too bad. So sad. When are u getting here?
Hammy Ham: Savage.
Maria: 7:30
Peggles: But the superfans! And the people that live in their mom's basement! And the ones that live in the library! They have no lives they'll beat us!
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr: I don't live in the library Peggy!
Peggles: I would like you to look at your surroundings and tell me different.
Hammy Ham: Peggy's gone completely savage.
Peggles: I was always savage, just born this way *insert hair flip*
Maria: How about 5:30?
Peggles: finnnnneeee but if we don't get the game ur kicked out of the group.
Turtles: We're all counting on you brave adventurers to get the game.
Peggles: Well now I've gotta annoy everyone until 5:30
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr: Please no.
Hammy Ham: Guys, Burr's name is taking up my ENTIRE screen please stop, I can't take much more.
Maria: I have no clue what you're talking about
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr: What? My name's just "Burr" it's pretty short.
Hammy Ham: NOT WHEN THERE'S A BUNCH OF 'R's ADDED ON!!!!
Turtles: bae u seeing things, you need sleeeppp
Maria: John's right, I don't see anything.
Peggles: yeah you must be glitchin
With a smirk, I turn on "Do Not Disturb" and cuddle back into my blankets. 5:30 is a long way off..
^Time-a-Skip-u^
We stand outside in the cold, wet, plains of the parking lot. "I hate you for making me do this," I say, shivering.
"You know you love me," Peggy says, poking my cheek. I slap her hand away but a smile crosses my face.
More than you know, I think to myself, More than you know, Peggy.
"Only you would drag me out at 5:30 to stand in front of a ToysRUs," I grumble.
"For D&D special edition!!"
"I like sleep better than D&D special edition. There's no one even here."
"There's that skinny teenager and that fat middle-aged man," Peggy points out. "I bet they both live in their mom's basement."
"Great," I complain, "competition."
"Someone's a Debbie Downer today." Peggy touches my cheek again.
"I am when you wake me up at 3 am! And what's with you touching my cheek?"
"It's squishy- THE DOORS ARE OPEN!!" Peggy screeches.
She sprints past the middle-aged man, shoving him to the floor. We race into the store. The teenager is already down the aisle so I throw him to the floor. This isn't our first rodeo. I scan the shelves of the 'game area' snatching the first D&D special edition I see. Peggy already has the cash out. We both race to the counter where the lady tells us to stop running.
After paying, we walk out of the store successfully. "That was awesome!" Peggy exclaims, giving me a high-five. "Look at this baby! She's beautiful." She shoves the game into my face.
"The holy grail," I agree.
As we get into the car, Peggy starts singing a very off-key version of We Are the Champions. I plug in the Aux and blast it. "WEEEEEEEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIENDS!!" We shout as we pull into the Schuyler mansion. Angelica and Eliza give us strange looks as we stumble into the house, overcome by giggles.
"Did you nerds get your game?" Eliza asks.
"Yep!" Peggy cheers and we slip past them into the basement.
The Schuyler mansion is where our club meets. It's basically a nerd haven. It's decked out with merchandise, LARP gear, and don't forget the posters! We set the game up in matter of minutes. It has cool twenty-sided galaxy dice and new characters with advanced action figures. I decide to be the dungeon master so naturally I ask Peggy, "What character are you?"
Without hesitation Peggy cries, "Ogre! Like Shrek! I have many layers!" She picks up the ogre game piece and grabs his card.
"Oh my Merlin! Only you would pick that" I laugh.
Peggy fills out her character card, rambling on how ogres are misunderstood, all I could focus on was her beauty... wait, what? No gay thoughts, Maria, pull yourself together.
"We don't have enough players so, I'll have to be the DM and a character," I say. "I guess I'll be... the witch."
"BASIC!" Peggy shouts.
I grumble, "Fine, Necromancer."
"That got dark quick, Ms-I-wanna-collect-souls."
"Whatever it's cool," I argue, filling in my own sheet.
Then the game began. I start to set the scene, "Maria and Shrek-"
"Hey! My name's still Peggy. I'm just a bootiful ogre now."
I ignore her and continue on, "Whatever, they sit in his swamp and enjoy some stew, when there is a knock on the door, what do you do? I'll start, I tell Shrek to get the door."
"Peggy!" she corrects as I roll my eyes and roll for it. 14.
"14, highly effective. Shrek loses all control and sprints to the door, opening it as quick as he can," I say smirking.
Peggy grumble but asks, "Who's at the door then? And I say hello to them."
"A wise old man. He says hello too, and tells you that he needs a brute and a necromancer to help rid himself of a dragon."
"I tell him that I'm a pretty strong ogre, check out my pecs!" Peggy flexes her arms. "Also I tell him we got a lame necromancer who's not brave enough to get the door!" I roll my eyes at her.
"I roll for the flex and it's a... 2. He is very unimpressed."
"I stab him! We don't want your quest!" Peggy stops and thinks, "Wait, no! I crush him! I crush him with my large ogre hands!"
"Too late, rolling for stabbing... and.. 13! You grab the nearest spoon and stab him."
"Spoon?"
"Spoon. You stab him directly in the stomach and he lays on your doormat bleeding out," I narrate.
"Hm.. I ki-," Peggy begins to say.
"My turn, Peggy! So I help up the old man.. but I stab him with my spoon too! Lemme roll!" I roll, "it's a... 8! I finish him off! We successfully killed an old man!"
"Yay! That's what you get for ignoring my awesome pecs! I victory dance on his corpse! Lemme roll!"
"Rolling for victory dance... 20! You victory dance so hard that I swear off dancing for I can never beat the glory of Shrek's victory dance."
"Yayyyyy!" Peggy shouts, "Oh, he's dead right? Take over his soul!"
"Rolling for the soul... 15! He becomes my minion."
"I wanna take the dragon for my pet! I bet he's sooo cute!"
I facepalm but say, "Alright. We should go to town and see if anyone recognizes the corpse. We walk into town, pretending the man's alive, roll for credibility! It's a.... 10. We get by, but barely. Some people give us strange looks. There's a park nearby, a tavern, a library, a-"
"BURR! Let's go to the library and ask him."
I sigh, Peggy always chooses the weirdest options. "Right.. I guess we have to roll, you get a... 3! You make it to the library but you trip on snow and people laugh at you. Your morale is down."
"I kill the people that laugh at me," Peggy plans, with an evil smirk.
"You can't do that, your morale is low and it's my turn anyways."
"Awww!"
"I elegantly walk into the library. And the roll is.. 16. I'm very successful and everyone basks in my elegance as I strut into the library."
"You're lying," Peggy acuses.
"Am not," I defend showing her the die.
"Fine," she agrees reluctantly.
"It's a large place, any sound you make would echo. There are bookshelves everywhere and not a lot of people for such a large building. There's also an upper lever to the library. You both spy a bald man sitting, a book in his hands and humming. He occasionally looks up at the librarian, who you know as Theodosia."
Peggy smiles, "I go up to the man and ask him his name, oh and I say hello. Can I roll this time?"
"Fine."
Peggy picks up the die and tosses it around, it finally landed on 20. Wow a twenty! That's the rarest roll in the game! "Ha!"
"Fine... you greet him so legendarily that he assumes you're royalty and kneels down to kiss your Shrek feet!" I say. "Oh and he tells you his name is Aaron Burr."
"More like Aaron Butt! I tell him that I am here to ask him if he recognizes the old man with us."
"He glances nervously at the walking corpses' undisguised stab wounds but answers because of your legendary greeting. He tells you that the man owns the library and the dragon is upstairs. The old man hates the dragon and always asks adventures to kill it, but Aaron loves the dragon."
"He wants my pet? Oh that's it! I roll for defenestration!" Peggy slams her hands against the table, shaking all our game pieces.
"What's that?"
"Throwing him out the window!"
"Ok then.... you roll a.. 1." I look up, Peggy seems disappointed. "You pick him up but drop him on the floor. He starts to sob and everybody looks at you guys in disgust. Everybody yells 'GET THE OGRE AND THE WITCH!' I try to explain that I'm not a witch, but they just pull out their pitchforks."
"Man.. I, uh, the dragon! I call for him"
"You rolled a 12, you call 'here dragon, dragon, dragon' and he busts through the ceiling. The librarian shushes everyone. For the rest of the time in the library, your character can't say anything."
"Dang It."
"My move," I say, "I bust out my pan flute and boost everyone's morale."
"Goodness gracious. You roll a... 19."
"Yas!" I pump my fist in the air. "Everyone suddenly loves me even the dragon and Burr stops crying because of my skillz, he still hates you though."
"He's just salty about me trying to defenestrate him," Peggy brushes it off.
"Your move."
Peggy leans in towards me. "I roll for kissing the necromancer."
A blush covers my face though I know she's probably joking. "You're gonna die, dummy! You're literally surrounded by angry citizens with pitchforks!"
"I don't care. Roll." She shoves her ogre figurine into my face, pushing it up against my glasses.
"Ewww, I don't wanna kiss an ogre." I push it away from my face. "It's a... 1! You fail so miserably that I slap you across the face and into another dimension."
"Aw, shucks! At least I didn't fail in real life though..."
"Peggy, Wha-,"
Before I can finish Peggy, leans in and kisses me. I feel my heart race as I kiss back. I pull away just to say..
"You're a good kisser, Shrek. That kiss would definitely be a roll of 20."
"Shut up, ya nerd," she says, before pressing her lips back on mine. And I sure do shut up.