sometimes i wish i had that. sometimes i wish i was the kind of person whose happiness lay prose on a bed of flowers, or a hug, or a small gift like a box of chocolates or a single compliment. i wish i were the kind of person who would just cry, laugh, get mad, all that shit, at the right time, at the spur of the moment. i wish i were the kind of person who is comfortable with expressing thoughts and feelings infront of people. the people they call friends without doubt. i wish i didn't have to question every action and word coming from a person, or a group of people, whom i can say i am having fun with. i wish i was the person to announce goals and dreams infront of everyone, only to be laughed at, only to succeed sooner or later with pure determination, leaving their mouths hanging open in disbelief. i wish i were some shonen anime main character who manages to do everything with pure willpower and perseverance, crying and yelling in the process infront of the people who want to support me, and all that shit. out of all the things i'm hoping for at the moment, the biggest wish i want to be granted is for me to walk through my timeline again, only, having the asset of being simple-minded this time.
how simple would things be?
i'm ecstatic, almost euphoric, just thinking about the ease of the life i would live if i never questioned anything, if i never wished for more than childish wants. like fuck. it'd be easier both for me and everyone else. i would still be studying with vigor, possibly believing in god and holding onto the faith, just that shit.