Okay, on a few of the days I was writing this chapter, I was in a real big depression phase. It's normal since, you know, I have depression. So, some of it has reflected back onto Logan. Also, chapters will be getting really dark. Like, if you thought Freedom or the OG Little Brat were dark, you aren't ready! Like, I'm not going to say anything but when I get to like really dark parts, don't complain because I have warned you!
I had been exploring the several rooms and floors of the tower. Some I didn't enter because of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents stationed on those floors. "How hard is it to get a phone in this place?" I mutter to myself.
"Hello, small Midgardian girl," I hear Loki from behind me. I turn around as I look up at him.
"What do you want?" I asked with fire in my voice.
"Well, I was just wondering, why are you here exactly? You could do much better working for me..." he says almost as an offer.
I pull him down to my level by his tie. "They're afraid of little old me, that's why. As for working for you, I'd rather work for a bug," I answer with a smirk, "Man, I so wish I could kill you right now, but I don't want to be held in a cell as of this moment." I push him away as I continue walking with my hands in my hoodie's pocket.
"A bug?! You'd rather work for a bug?!" he yelled at me, "I am a god, don't forget that you filthy mortal!" I rolled my eyes.
I turn back to look at him. My eyes looked coldly into his boiling green orbs. "You're not immortal," I chuckle, "You only live longer than us, but in the end, you still die, you can still die and get injured. That isn't immortality, that's dying slower than us and isn't that even more painful? Getting more of a chance to get to know someone for them to just die?"
He looked at me as if he were sick to the stomach. "Your mother is dead, right? Tell me, how much did hurt to know her for years, to love her for years, but for her to die because of you?" I ask with a sinister smile.
He continued to stare at me speechless. "What? Cat got your tongue?" I giggle as I walk off.
Thump. "Fuck!" I yell out simultaneously with the sound of me hitting the floor. Bucky didn't even seem fazed by all the training we did, while I was sweating like a pig. Sure, the mats are of good quality, especially when you're training with a normal person like Nat, but with a super soldier, I knew I was going to have several bruises and possibly a few broken ribs.
"Nat was right, you have good instincts, but you should really react as soon as though instincts come in" he critiques. I quickly sweep my feet as he begins walking. I knock him onto his back just for a bit of revenge.
"I do have good instincts, thanks," I say as I walk off to my water bottle. "Hey, Loki," I greet as I see the raven-haired god sitting on the bench next to my water bottle. Well, I guess I didn't see him since he was invisible, but with my observational skills, it was easy.
He suddenly becomes visible as he asks, "How did you know I was there?" I just shrugged. I sat next to him as I drank my water.
I could see Bucky glaring at him. I smirk. He cares for me. How sweet. Or maybe he's just worried about that joke I made earlier today. Probably the latter.
"Woah, you still worried about that joke I made earlier?" I asked him, "Because I wasn't joking and we've got plans to make. Help me walk back to my room, Loki?"
Loki nods as if he's terrified of Bucky. I stand up as Loki helps me to stay up.
"Why did you want me to help you? We've only met this morning and talked a little bit later," he asked.
"I need you to get me to a phone booth," I say.
"Is that all you want?" he asks.
"Yep."
As soon as I said those words, we were at a phone booth. I step inside and close the doors. I put in two quarters in and dial Jordan's number.
"Hello?" his voice asked as it finished ringing.
"Hey, Jordan," I responded.
"Logan? Where the hell have you been? I know you said a month, but you usually call at least once a week. Are you still doing the job?" he asked.
"No, actually I got caught by S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers, so I haven't been able to call you."
"How did you get out?" he asked.
"Friend on the inside, but I'm thinking he's not going to allow me to go anywhere else. He doesn't want to lose their trust. Just promise me that if they find you, you tell them the truth. I don't want you getting locked up. I'll talk to you when I can. Bye--" I say.
"Wait! I love you," he interrupts before I can hang up.
"I know," I sigh as I hang up. I step out of the phone booth as I sigh.
"Okay, let's go back," Loki says as he offers his hand. I take it and we were back in the compound.
I begin walking back to my room. I enter my room to be met by Bucky sitting on my bed. "Where did Loki just take you?" he asks.
"Woah, Barnes. I never thought of you as the kind to intrude on a teenager's private space."
"Where did Loki take you?" he growled. He seemed so big and intimidating like a lion.
"Nowhere, I just wanted to be outside for a little while," I answer, "You guys feel like going outside for runs and the balconies are enough to make this place not a prison, but it's not. And why does it even matter? I came back when I could've ran."
"Now if you don't mind, I am going to go shower," I say as I brush past him into my bathroom.
"Fucking brat," I hear him mutter under his breath as I hear the door open and shut. I sigh as I begin undressing.
I lay on my bed just staring at the ceiling. I hadn't slept and couldn't sleep. I stand up from my bed. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., I'd like to go down to the gym," I say as I begin to dress to work out.
"I can't do that Miss Logan. Ms. Romanoff says you needed to be in bed approximately five hours ago," F.R.I.D.A.Y. explains.
"Please, I just need to burn off some energy."
I hear the door unlock and I walk out with a towel and my water bottle. I wore a loose tank top and shorts. I entered the gym. I did a few stretches before taking my pent up frustrations on the punching bag. I was kicking and hitting it with much force as sweat began falling from my forehead.
I felt my body begin to shake, but I ignored it. I kicked, but when swinging my leg back from the punching bag, my body gave out and I fell to the ground. I then feel my eyes droop as I am brought to the realm of sleep.
"Hey, get up," I hear as I feel someone nudging me. I open my eyes to see Steve nudging my shoulder. My blue and brown eyes meet his ocean hues.
"Why are you here?" I ask with tiredness evident in my voice as I sit up.
"I should be asking you that, but if you must know, we got the mission done early, but, seriously, why are you here?" he asked.
"I was getting out some energy, but then my body failed on me and I fell asleep," I explained as I stood up.
"No kidding, you were really beating this thing up," Tony says as he enters the room. He held a holographic screen showing security footage of me practicing martial arts. "Since when have you known taekwondo?"
"Studied it a long time ago, though, I don't exactly remember much. I think I studied it when I was five I think."
"Mommy?" I asked. Everything was colored with static. My hand was held by a skinny soft one as I walked down the sidewalks of New York City. "Where are we going?"
I was no longer holding the hand and I was much taller. I looked at the static ground before looking up again. I saw a little girl with brown hair holding hands with a woman with black hair whom I assumed to be her mother.
They continued to walk as I follow them.
"We're going to a taekwondo class so that you can protect yourself from *****" she answered. The last words were covered by static as if it were a curse.
I blinked as I opened my eyes to reveal myself in the training room with Steve and Tony. "You coming or what?" Tony asked. I nodded as I thought about the memory. Was that me and my mom?
I ate my breakfast in a daze as I thought about the memory that had gotten loose. I had pigtails in that memory! I was wearing a pink dress! She can't have been me.
I could sense someone about to swat me or something so I catch their wrist before they can. "How did you know?" Nat asked as I let go of her wrist.
"I could feel the air you were bringing toward the back of my head before you swatted me. Also, I have been in kind of a daze and haven't been abiding by the new rules you've set for me," I explained as I stood up with my still nearly full plate and put it in the sink.
"You're supposed to eat all of it," Nat says as she picks it back up.
"I know, again, I don't abide by rules that I don't like," I smirk as I continue to walk off.
"Like killing people for money?" Nat asked as she crossed her arms threateningly.
"Yeah, like that one!" I snap a finger gun at her before exiting the lounge.
My face goes emotionless as I lift up my hood. I still wore the workout clothes I had worn the night before underneath. I didn't feel like changing. I didn't feel like doing much of anything; I just felt tired.
I had days like these. Days where I'd rather be a tree instead of whatever psychological mess I am. Nothing to think about, nothing to process. Getting to sleep for months on end just because it's cold. I could hear fast footsteps behind me, but I didn't care.
"Hey, little brat, I need to do some more adjustments to your dress," Tony said as he caught up to me. He had a hand on my shoulder as he tried to get my attention. I shrug his hand away. "Okay..." he muttered hesitantly. "But I will at least need you later."
He seemed to understand what kind of mood I was in and walked off. I walked into my room as I leaned on the door. I began to slide to the floor as my face became hot. Tears streamed down my face like waterfalls and I didn't know why.
"S-stop. S-stop cr-crying. There's n-nothing t-to be crying about," I whispered to myself. I tried rubbing the tears away, but they just kept coming. My breath shaky, as if I were trying to say why I was crying, but they wouldn't get out of their cage.
The tears began to slow down, but they were still coming down my pink cheeks. I stand, but it felt as though I had just ran a marathon. I walk over to my dresser on stilts as tears continued to occasionally stream down my face. I lean on the dresser as I change myself into none sweaty clothes.
I turn toward the window as I am putting my jacket on, but then I hear the door open. I turn around to find my swollen mismatching eyes connecting to a bear's. Bucky stood in the doorway as if he were taking a picture of my image. We stared at each other. I was staring at him as if I were caught in the act of sin and he stared at me with, what looked to me, a foreign feeling.
I stared at him like a deer in headlights as he took cautious steps toward me. Before I even knew it his warm hand brought my throbbing head to his almost warmer chest. I could hear his rhythmic heartbeat.
"It's okay. You can cry," he softly spoke. My eyes widened as the tears began to flow freely again.
I push him away as I glare at him. "I'm fine. Just leave," I say coldly.
"But--"
"Just leave!" I yell. I was huffing. "Please, just leave," I say with my voice softer. He turns and leaves the room. I hear the door close.