You woke up with your heart pounding in your chest, your head spinning as soon as you opened your eyes and your dream flashed through your mind, making your face burn.
Scratch that. It felt as if your whole body was on fire, starting from the pit of your stomach.
You could swear it was real though.
The bed shook slightly as Ivar moved beside you and you felt your heartbeat getting even faster, so loud that for one second you were worried he'd wake up due to the sound of your heart. You pressed a hand over your chest, and stole a look at Ivar's sleeping form, but quickly averted your eyes guiltily when you remembered how he was in your dream.
What he was doing to you, in your dream.
You pushed the covers off of you as slowly as you could and walked to the window, still breathing hard. You looked out of the foggy window, tracing shapes with the tip of your index finger, the chilly surface making contrast with the warm room.
For a moment, you wondered whether it was frowned upon to have such dreams but...
You were married, were you not?
"Tears will spoil your beauty, my love."
You turned your head to look at Bree and heaved a deep sigh. There was no wonder why almost everyone at the court was in awe of her beauty, and why your brother had taken her as his mistress. Even the Queen wouldn't be able to compete with her, and even if you wanted to hate her for her beauty, you couldn't bring yourself to do so.
You sniffled and turned in the bed, then sat up to look at her better.
"I'm mourning."
"For what?"
"My future." You mumbled and wiped your eyes with the back of your hand, "You've heard, then?"
"The king was polite enough to tell me about it, yes." Bree said and you felt a sob climb to your throat,
"Have you heard what they say about him?"
"Everyone says everything about everyone, my love."
"They say that he's ruthless. That he killed thousands of men."
Bree pulled her brows together, "He's your age, is he not? No one that young could've killed thousands of men."
"Vikings could," you sniffled, "They say he killed someone when he was only three years old."
"That's not possible."
"They say the devil himself talks to him at nights."
"Well I've heard they don't believe in the devil," Bree stated and sat beside you, "It's just gossip, my sweet. Do not give your ear, or your attention to nonsense."
"We do not know if it's nonsense."
"I'd say the devil talking to a Viking is nonsense,"
"They say he eats animals raw," you said, "I heard somebody swear to a lady that he met a Viking once, and that's a very common practice."
"Oh so he's a lion now?"Bree let out a laugh and you turned your glances to her.
"It's not amusing Bree, I'm being given to a savage like a horse!" You stated and got up from the bed to pace in the room, "Who's to say he will not do to me what he does to his enemies?"
"It's a political alliance," Bree said, "It would make no sense if he did."
"You do not feel sorry for me at all?"
Bree shrugged, "I do not have the luxury to feel sorry for the future Viking Queens," she stated, smiling at you, "Neither do you."
You wiped your eyes again, and slumped down to the seat in front of the mirror, reaching out to touch the vial of perfume, sniffling slightly. Bree heaved a sigh and got up from the bed, then made her way to you.
"Y/N," she said, and tilted your chin up, making you bite down on your bottom lip, "Look in the mirror and tell me what you see."
You stole a look at the mirror,
"A doomed woman."
"A woman who stopped a war with only her face."
"Opposite of Helen of Troy, then?" You mumbled "And I didn't stop anything. Just like you said, it's a political alliance."
"But he has seen you."
"Well, I haven't seen him." You looked up at her, tears rushing to your eyes once more "Nor do I ever wish to."
"If he's enchanted by you," Bree stated, "You have less worries than you think, my love."
You pulled your brows together, "Enchanted?" you repeated, then scoffed and shook your head, "I'm not...like you."
"Like me?"
"Able to enchant people."
Bree rolled her eyes in a very un-lady like manner, "I haven't stopped the most ruthless Viking in the entire world with my hand in marriage."
"Would you wish to?" You laughed humorlessly and she touched your hair, then smiled at you,
"Viking or not," she stated, "Men are simple. You will see it once he falls in love with you."
You gulped,
"It's merely politics." You reminded her, "He would never fall in love with me."
Bree's red lips parted to show her white teeth in an amused smile, then she reached out to caress your cheek,
"Oh my sweeting." She mumbled, "How could he not?"
You shook your head to get rid of the thoughts. Bree was tragically wrong, because everything that had happened so far only signaled that you were the one starting to –
No way.
You grabbed your books and your cloak, then made your way to another room, which was empty and warm. You made yourself comfortable in front of the fireplace, setting your book down, and forcing yourself to pay attention to the stories of gods and goddesses, but it didn't take long for you to drift off again, only to wake up when someone shook you by the shoulder.
"I'm awake!" Your head snapped up as you opened your eyes to see Hvitserk, grinning at you as if he was amused.
"It's just me."
You wiped the drool off your cheek, a burning spreading over your face as you sat up straight and grabbed the cloak around you tighter. Hvitserk didn't seem to mind your appearance as he sat down, biting at an apple and you turned your head to the door when you heard the voices coming from outside.
"Is Ivar awake?"
"You were the one in bed with him." Hvitserk said, making your eyes whip up to his and you licked your lips.
"I- um... I left him sleeping."
"That I can see. Did you escape then?"
"Es-escape?"
Hvitserk looked like he was repressing a grin as he swallowed his bite, "Ubbe mentioned something about you two being quite fond of your... nightly deeds."
Oh God, your face was definitely on fire.
"Even princesses need their resting time though, I assume?"
You averted your eyes to look down at your book, running your fingertips over the cover absentmindedly before you touched the bandage wrapped around your hand.
"I made you uncomfortable, did I not?"
You shook your head, "It's just that I'm not- I'm not so used to people talking like this," you mumbled, then tried to assure him, "I'm trying to get used to it though, I really am."
Hvitserk fell silent only for a moment, his eyes focused on you.
"Perhaps you shouldn't."
You scrunched up your nose, "Isn't that the Viking way?"
"You're lovely enough like this, Viking or not."
You felt your heart skip a beat and you tried to smile, then pushed your hair behind your ear.
"Just tell him you're tired," Hvitserk advised you, "He...proved everyone what he wanted to prove. He can just rest a bit and allow everyone to have some peace."
"Proved?" you repeated and Hvitserk rolled his eyes,
"That Ivar the Boneless is..." he waved a hand in the air, making a face as if talking about it annoyed him, "Is magnificent. On battle field or marital bed. He will have many heirs, and the history will remember him, if you like that sort of a thing."
Well, at least now you knew both you and Ivar were very convincing.
"You don't like that sort of a thing?" You asked him and Hvitserk shrugged, biting into the apple once again.
"I have different priorities than Ivar."
"Such as that girl waiting for you the other day?" You smiled slightly, "She must be very beautiful I'm sure. And very lucky to have your love."
Hvitserk shot you a mischievous look, "She doesn't have my love, Y/N, just my attention."
"Oh," You said, "Well maybe that will change."
That got him silent for a moment before he nodded,
"Yes," he said, "Maybe that will."
You rubbed at your eyes, trying to focus and Hvitserk leaned back,
"I take it things are good between you and my brother then?"
And just like that, the dream flashed before your eyes again, making you bite inside your cheek. That was such an inappropriate dream to have, and you didn't even know how you had come up with that-
Ivar hadn't even kissed you.
You expected he had no plans as such, either.
"I'm very lucky," you managed to say and Hvitserk tilted his head to the right, then smiled slightly, as if he could touch your lie if he wished to do so.
"No worries princess," he stated calmly, "No one but me and Ivar think of looking beneath your perfectly exerted veneer."
You could feel your smile fading and pulled back slightly, then tried to control your expression, standing up.
"We should probably go." You said and walked past him to leave the room. You made your way to your chambers to find that Ivar had left, so you quickly change your dress, then got out of the room, to walk to the throne room.
Of course it was very crowded. You didn't think you'd ever seen it empty aside from at night. You sat beside Ivar, who looked to be in a deep conversation with Ubbe and tried to act as normal as you could after that dream. A man came closer to mutter something to them, and Ivar turned to look at you, a frown taking over his features.
"Morning." You smiled "Oh I'm starving."
"Is that right?" Ivar asked and you nodded, then reached out to grab a grape.
"I could eat the whole table," You stated as you popped the grape into your mouth, then chewed on it, "We never had fruits this delicious, to be honest. I could swear-"
"How's Hvitserk?" Ivar cut you off and your eyes snapped up to his piercing blue ones. You swallowed the grape, then frowned slightly.
"He is alright?" You asked, unsure of what that meant and Ubbe shifted his weight.
"Ivar-"
"Is he?"
"Yes, haven't you seen him yet?"
"I'd reckon you saw him enough for the both of us." Ivar's tone was almost condescending and your frown deepened.
"Is there something wrong?" You asked, looking from him to Ubbe, and Ubbe heaved a deep sigh as if he was running out of patience.
"Don't listen to him, he's in a mood."
"I think you would also be in a mood if your wife left your bed to meet our brother-" Ivar paused, then a sour smile pulled at his lips, "On second thought, maybe not. You two do share a lot of things."
You felt your stomach flip, an unpleasant coldness replacing the warmth you had felt earlier.
"I-" you stammered, trying to pull your thoughts together through shock, "I had a dream and did not want to wake you-"
"Well I'm sure Hvitserk has been more than willing to turn you back into reality."
"Ivar!"
"Whatever you're insinuating-" You tried to keep your calm even if it felt incredibly difficult "That's not only false, but also extremely disrespectful."
"And you running into my brother's arms is not disrespectful?"
"I didn't-"
"So you say, but we both know how great of a liar you are." Ivar cut you off and you blinked dumbly, stealing a look at Ubbe and the people around. Most of them were busy with talking to each other but some of Ivar's warriors who were closer to you three were listening, even if they pretended not to. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, and tried to push the tears away before you smiled,
"I'm afraid I feel a bit faint, so if you'll excuse me," You said and stood up before he could even answer you. You made your way through the crowd, most of whom stepping aside as soon as they saw you and you left the hall to go outside.
At least that was a bit more peaceful.
You bit down on your lip, there was no way you would ever cry in public so you inhaled the cool air, closing your eyes and pressing on your bandaged hand lightly. Soon enough, you've heard the sound of Ivar's crutch behind you and you straightened your back, keeping your gaze stable on the people taking care of their duties. Ivar entered your sight and turned around to lean his back to the wooden rails, crossing his arms.
"I wasn't done talking."
"Oh you wished to falsely accuse me more, my king?" Even you could tell how cold your voice was, almost as cold as his. He looked almost taken aback and his eyes searched your face, but you forced yourself not to look at him.
"My king?" he repeated "You never call me that."
You scoffed, "Perhaps I should."
A silence fell upon you both before he cleared his throat,
"Hvitserk is-"
"I would never!" You snapped "As much as you seem to like humiliating me, I have no desire to pay back the favor."
"Humiliate you?"
You shook your head slightly, pressing your lips together and took a deep breath, playing with your ring.
"A lord scowled my brother once." You said slowly and Ivar pulled his brows together, as if he was confused.
"Hm?"
"When our father was still alive. We were children, and my brother was being very tiring, commanding everyone everything. So a lord, who was my father's best friend scowled my brother. My father just laughed and said he was right to do so. My brother didn't like that at all." You shrugged, "But he knew how the game was played, so he calmed down, and kept his composure, as it was expected of a prince."
"Alright...?"
"The day we lost my father was a great tragedy for us all, but the next day was a bigger tragedy for that lord." You stated, "As soon as my brother took the crown, that lord lost everything. Just like that, he was ruined." You snapped your fingers, "And my brother remained very calm while took everything from him. As he always does. As he did, years ago when he was a child."
Ivar remained silent but his gaze was intense on you, as if daring you to continue and you smiled slightly as you turned to look at him. From an outsider's viewpoint –and there were many eyes on you right now,- you were sure that they thought you were madly in love. You knew how they saw both of you, two lovers burdened by many responsibilities, but managing to escape from the throne room and the responsibilities just to spend time in each other's presence.
A perfect picture.
Enchanted.
"Calmness is always a façade Ivar," you stated, looking into his blue eyes and somehow it felt more intimate than everything you had done, except for when he touched your hand when you were in the bathtub. "It's just a shadow. It is a deception," You took a step closer to him, closer than you've ever been.
"And I wouldn't fall for my deception if I were you," you quoted him and arched a brow, "You're smarter than that."
With that, you walked past him and made your way into the hall, leaving him behind, bewildered.