I wrote this chapter three times and this is how it came out because I was soooo emotional today. I babysit 5 kids once a week and today got my emotions all over the place from lack of sleep and stress and after my shift I just got in my car and cried lmao
...
Aria
"We're going to be back together before you know it," Ben tells me. He was kind enough to drive me to the airport before I go to Japan for the press tour of Bohemian Rhapsody, and he goes to Italy to finish shooting for his movie.
"I know..." I say, trailing off at the end.
I'm being selfish. I know I am but quite frankly, I just don't care right now. I'm allowed to be upset my boyfriend is leaving for work.
"Darling, it's okay," Ben says, sounding concerned.
I'm emotional today. I don't know if it's my lady time, or simply just my emotions, but I'm so emotional right now I can't stand it. I feel the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. My lip quivers as I try to hold them back. I look out the window as a means to distract myself, but it doesn't work.
I can feel Ben's eyes flicking over to me every so often as we continue to the airport. HE doesn't say anything, probably because he's afraid I'll break.
When we finally pull in, my heart hurts. Ben drives over to where my little plane is stationed at the back of the airport. I see Joe and Gwil loading luggages into the plane. Rami and Lucy stand talking outside. I think the pilot and copilot are inside already.
Ben pulls up close enough for them to notice us, but far away enough for us to have a moment without them intruding. He puts the car in park and we sit in silence, neither one of us moving.
"I'm going to miss you," I say, barely a whisper. A tear falls fro my eye and down my cheek.
Ben's hand comes over and wipes the tear away. I turn to face him, trying to take in all his details. I hate being emotional like this. I know I'm going to see him soon, but God this is awful.
"I'm going to call every day," Ben tells me. "And I'll send you lots of pictures and I'll write and before you know it I'll be back,"
More tears seep out of my eyes. I broke the seal so now it's ten times harder to stop crying than it was before I started.
"You don't have to do all that. I'm just having a day," I explain. I laugh bitterly. Ben knows I get like this occasionally. It happened during my pregnancy scare that one time.
"Is anything else going on?" Ben asks me.
I sigh. "No," I tell him. I don't really know though.
Ben takes one of my hands in his.
"I love you. You know that right?" he says.
I smile weakly. "Yeah," I tell him. "I love you too,"
He leans in to kiss me, my face wet with tears. It's short and sweet. When we separate, I pull away from him and get out of the car to gather my belongings. Ben comes out a second later, helping me.
"I got it," he says, taking my big bag.
The two of us walk over to the plane. I know my face is red and splotchy from crying. I'm grateful that no one says anything though. They mainly acknowledge Ben, which I'm grateful for.
"We're going to miss you mate," Gwil says to him. Ben gives one of the flight attendants my big luggage to take.
"Yeah it won't be the same," Rami says.
"Don't remind me," Ben groans. "Send me pictures. FaceTime. Keep me in the loop,"
"We'll see what we can do," Lucy cheekily adds.
Ben gives everyone a small hug before everyone boards the plane. He exchanges some words with Joe before Joe loads the plane, and it's just Ben and I.
He doesn't say anything, but he outstretches his arms to which I walk in to. His hug is warm and comforting and I never want to leave. But before I get too attached, I pull back and stand on my toes to give him a kiss.
"Text me as soon as you land," Ben says.
I smile. "I will. You do the same when you leave," I tell him.
He nods and gives me a quick peck.
"I love you," he says.
"I love you too," I tell him. Without hesitating, because I know if I do I won't board this plane, I walk up the steps and onto the aircraft.
"Aria," Joe says, pointing to the seat next to him. I smile and move to sit besides him. I was planning on sitting by myself but I'm grateful he let me have the window.
I put my carryon underneath my seat and focus out the window. I think everyone can sense that I'm having a rough day. No one really says anything, but I can tell they're communicating with each other through whispers or looks.
The whole time we take off and get situated in the air, I'm holding back tears. I'm grateful that it's just Joe and I here right now, however. Gwil, Rami and Lucy are watching some movie on the other side of the plane, not facing us.
"Is everything okay?" Joe asks me quietly.
I turn to face him for the first time. I sigh. "It's just one of those days," I tell him.
He looks unsure of what to do, but eventually he just puts an arm around me and pulls me closer to him. It's not Ben's touch, but it's almost as comforting. Joe is a great guy and I really need him right now. I scoot in closer, crying ever so slightly. Admitting I'm having a rough day sent the waters coming out.
"We're going to have a great time in Japan," Joe tells me.
"I know. I'm excited. I don't know what's wrong with me today," I laugh.
"I get it. I have those days too. Especially after losing my dad,"
I feel worse now. It's not that I forgot but at least his is justifiable. Mine is just random.
"Joe I'm-"
"No stop. I didn't say that to make you feel bad. I said it because I get it. Don't be sorry for having rough days. It happens to the best of us. Just let it out,"
I sniffle. "You know, if you ever want to talk I'm always here for you," I tell him. I offered that to him several times, but I'll keep reminding him.
"We'll have a crying party one night and just talk about feelings," Joe says. It comes off as a joke, but I have a feeling he's serious.
"I'll supply the wine,"
Joe laughs and pauses before speaking again.
"You know I wasn't going to tell anyone this, but I think you need a pick me up," he says.
I turn slightly to look at him. He loosens his grip around my shoulders.
"What's that?" I ask, curious what he is going to say.
A smile plays on Joe's lips. "I did a thing," he says.
"Okay?.."
"It was the best purchase I ever made,"
"Joe what is it?"
He leans in closer so he is whispering in my ear.
"I bought a life-size cardboard cutout of Ben," he whispers.
He pulls back, a grin on his face. My mouth drops open.
"You did not," I say.
"I did," Joe says proudly. "Ben Cardy is in my luggage as we speak,"
I laugh. A genuine laugh. I have so many questions. How? Why? When? But all I can do is laugh. I rest my head on Joe's shoulder, his arm still around me.
"You're insane," I tell him.
"He'll be making a guest appearance, don't you worry," Joe tells me. He leans his head so it's resting on mine.
He was right. That was the pick me up I needed.