I took a deep breath and walked slowly up the cobblestone path to our front porch. I was dragging my book bag along on the ground, surely wearing holes into it. The summer breeze blew through my air. The wind chimes hanging on the porch lazily knocked together gently, creating a calming melody to sooth my ferociously beating heart.
I walked up the steps, mentally preparing myself to be yelled at the moment I opened the door. I was somewhat relieved but equally mortified when I saw a note on the door written in Kayla's chicken scratchings.
"Dear Jimmy," I read the note out loud. "Came home early and sent mom and dad to Hell on accident. Brb."
I huffed out a sigh of relief and unlocked the door. I pushed it open and was immediately confronted with a sight that truly came straight from Hell. The living room was a mess. All of Dad's fancy old vases were shattered and strewn out all around the floor. On the floor along with the ancient porcelain was more broken glass that I couldn't figure out where it came from. Books from the bookshelves were scattered around the room, and a few of them had pages torn out of them. The pages of literature were shredded, and some of the smaller pieces were still flying around in the air. Furniture was knocked over, tables were turned. Our retarded landline phone with a cord was dangling off the hook, gently swaying as the late summer breeze blew into the house. Sitting in the corner, munching on what I could only assume was a sewer rat, was a small demon. It turned to me and hissed, blood slowly dripping from the corners of its mouth. My lip curled in disgust. "God, where are your manners?" I asked. "Use a plate, you animal."
I rolled my eyes and looked at the phone again. The light was flashing on the answering machine, meaning some old person left a message. I pushed the button and listened to the message. My heart jumped into my throat when I heard my principal's voice addressing my father, asking him to call her back when he had the chance to discuss my behavior and mentioning that I left school early without being dismissed. I quickly deleted the message and prayed to whatever God may or may not be up in the sky that my parents hadn't heard it first. I put the phone back on the hook to stop that annoying dead line ringing and stormed up the stairs to my room.
I felt anger consuming me as I recalled the events of earlier that morning. I still couldn't believe that asshat Pewdiepie tried MURDERING ME. What pissed me off more about it was that my parents probably wouldn't believe me if I told them. They truly believed Felix was a really good guy because he donates like a million dollars to charity every year. BIG. DEAL. I bought a homeless guy a house; I don't want to hear about Felix's charity. Doing good deeds doesn't make you a good person! Right? I think? Whatever, I'm too pissed off to really think about it. Fuck Felix. I had a lot frustration built up, and I needed to let it all out.
I felt my phone miraculously vibrating in my pocket despite it being fully submerged in water. I took it out and looked at the caller ID. It was my best friend Chris calling. My heart beat with joy as I slid it to answer and held the phone to my ear, getting a little shock from it but braving through it so I could hear his cute southern accent. "Hey!" I said cheerfully, feeling somewhat happy for the first time that day.
"Hey, Jimmy!" Chriscross Applesauce responded gleefully. "How's your first day of senior year going, buddy?"
My mood immediately crashed. I flopped backwards onto my back and stared at the ceiling. "It was horrible," I responded in agony.
"Oh no," Chris replied with a small sigh following. "What happened?"
I shifted my weight uncomfortably on the bed. "I don't really wanna talk about it, especially not over the phone."
"Well, you're gonna talk about it, and luckily you don't have to do it over the phone because I'm at your house right now, and I'm walking in as we speak." There was brief pause. The silence, though short lived, was torture. "Why does your living room look like a tornado went through it, and why is there an imp eating a squirrel in the corner?"
"I'll explain later, just get up to my room." I hung up my phone and tossed it in the trash can next to my bed. I opened the drawer on my nightstand and pulled out the spare phone I bought in anticipation that something bad would happen to my other one.
I listened to Chris's footsteps as he ran up the stairs and neared my room. He gently knocked on the door frame and peeked though the cracked door. I gave him a big goofy smile as he pushed the door open further and said, "Hey there, buddy." He walked over to the bed. I scooted over to give him some room as he laid down next to me. And I know what you're thinking: hey, that's gay! And maybe it is and maybe I have a slightly massive crush on my best friend, but that's not the point. Shut up.
"I just need a hug right now." I looked at Chris, who was already looking at me with warm, welcoming eyes. I rolled over, wrapping my arm around Chris and laid my head on his chest. He put his arms around me and squeezed me tight. "Thank you," I whispered into his chest. It felt good to be in his strong, comforting arms after having a rough day. YES, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS REALLY GAY JUST SH-SHUT UP, OK? I'M NOT GAY FOR MY INSANELY HOT BEST FRIEND THAT I SOMETIMES PECK ON THE LIPS, BUT LISTEN, OK, THOSE ARE JUST BRO KISSES THAT GUYS GIVE TO THEIR HOMIES WHEN THEY HAVE BAD DAYS. WHAT? I'M NOT SWEATING, YOU ARE. SHUT UP.
"Now, tell me about yer day."
Hearing his cute southern accent dispersed a warm, fuzzy feeling throughout my body, making me shudder from excitement and pleasure. I buried my face into the crook of his neck, deeply inhaling his scent, and pulled my body closer to his, eliminating any space between us. "It was absolutely awful." I told him about how Felix attempted homicide by locking me in the car and driving over a cliff, which made him noticeably tense with anger. He tightened his grip on me protectively, and I never felt more safe than I did in that moment. I also told him about how I slammed pizza in Felix's face and nobody cheered me on or made shitty memes about him. I confided in him the ever-growing fear for my life and cloud of dread that hangs over my head day in and day out.
Chris tenderly rubbed the small of my back with his hand. "Don't worry, Jimmy. I'll protect you. I'm not gonna let Pewdiepie hurt you, ever." He placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. "Also, you kinda smell like a pond, but that's okay."
I laughed into his neck, my lips brushing his soft skin. My smile faded as my heart began to ache and yearn for him. Okay, maybe I'm a little gay, so what? I loved Chris intensely and wanted him to be all mine, but I couldn't have him. He was happily and faithfully married to a gorgeous woman. I wanted to be his thicc bitch, but he already had a skinny legend that I was surprised didn't blow away in the breeze. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I continued to pity myself, but suddenly, a wave of courage and confidence washed over me. I'm a fucken catch, dammit. I am a great guy, and I deserve to be happy, gosh darn it.
I propped myself up onto my elbow so I was elevated above Chris. I hovered over him and stared into his beautiful eyes. I swear I saw the same yearning and lust I had for him in his eyes. Maybe he reciprocates my feelings. I leaned my face into his slowly but confidently and pressed my lips to his, engaging him in kiss. My heart beat frantically in my chest as my soul soared to the heavens. Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, a flash of light on the other side of the room stopped me dead in my tracks.
I didn't want to, but I pulled away from Chris's tantalizing embrace. We both looked in the direction of the light in time to see a puff of hellfire as Kayla and my parents teleported back to the mortal realm from the underworld.
My father turned to Kayla angrily. "YOU, YOUNG LADY, ARE GROUNDED FOR SENDING YOUR MOTHER AND I TO HELL!" he yelled at her. "NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND READ THE BIBLE, YOU SPAWN OF SATAN."
"YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!" Kayla screamed demonically before levitating out of my room.
All the while, my mother was staring at me and Chris with a smug smirk on his lips. "I saw what y'all were doing," he said as he put a hand on his hip. Then he mouthed at me, "Proud of you."
Dad turned to me and Chris on the bed. His eyes widened as he observed our position. At some point during our kiss, I unknowingly crawled on top of Chris and was straddling him like I was about to ride him into the sunset (which, had my parents stayed in Hell for a little while longer, might just have happened). "Chris, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he said a little more calmly but still with a hint of rage. "Jimmy, you are not allowed to have friends over the rest of the year unless you're filming a video and with adult supervision."
I got off of Chris and sat on the bed. "Why not?" I demanded to know. "That's not fair! What did I do?"
Dad drew in a deep breath. "Chris, please go," he said calmly. "I need to have a talk with my son."
Chris sat up. "Yes, sir, Mr. Jackson," he said obediently. My father threw him a threatening look. "I mean Mr. Donaldson, sir." Chris turned to me. "See ya later, buddy." He gave me a quick kiss before getting off the bed and exiting the room, leaving me alone with my angry, fresh-out-of-Hell parents. After a minute, I heard Chris's truck start up in the driveway and drive down the street. I pulled my knees into my chest and hung my head, fighting back tears. I finally had him, and because of my weird parents, I lost him. I wanted to tell them I hated them, but if I did, my mom would beat the white right out of me.
"What the hell are you thinking, Jimmy?" Dad asked as he sat on the edge of my bed. "Why are you messing around with a married man?"
My efforts to hold back the tears failed. I started sobbing, rivers of liquid sadness pouring from my eyes and down my reddening cheeks. "Why did you make him leave?" I asked angrily. "What did I do to make you ban my friends from the house?"
"Why did you show up to school late, accuse Felix of trying to kill you, assault him, and then leave school early?" Dad retorted with an annoyed tone.
I looked up at him with red, burning eyes. My cheeks were stained with tears. How did he know about all of that stuff? I deleted the voice message before anyone even listened to it. "How did you know that?"
"I got a call from both Mr. McGee and your principal before your sister started fooling around with dark magic again. She was sent home early after some kid threw holy water on her and gave her third degree burns. Anyway, what has gotten into you, Jimmy? Why did you throw pizza in Felix's face?"
"THE SON OF BITCH TRIED TO FUCKING KILL ME AND THEN WANTED TO HUMILIATE ME IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL AND THE INTERNET!"
"DON'T CURSE AT YOUR FATHER, YOU PUSSY!" Mom squawked at me. "AND HOW DARE YOU RUN AWAY LIKE A PANSY. I DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO START FIGHTS AND THEN NOT FINISH THEM."
I blinked a few times, fighting back the anger boiling in my chest. "YOU'VE HARDLY RAISED ME AT ALL!"
"And your mother's neglect has caused you to start sleeping with married men," Dad remarked, shaking his head with shame and disappointment. "I didn't neglect you, and I know for damn sure I didn't raise you to be a homewrecker."
"I'm not sleeping with him, and if I was it wouldn't matter because Chris loves me!" I shouted, more trying to convince myself it was true than them.
"Yeah, I'd love a man that paid me thousands of dollars to do fun, stupid shit for fame so I didn't have to work a real job," Mom said under his breath.
"Prince!" Dad snapped. "Don't speak so poorly of Chris and your son."
"GET OUT!" I screamed. "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL PARENTS. I WANT BOTH OF YOU TO GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU GUYS WOULDN'T CARE LET ALONE NOTICE IF I DROWNED IN THE OCEAN. GO AWAY." I laid down and turned away from their glaring gazes. "I wish I had a different family that actually cared about me." Mom's words instantly started to haunt me, strengthening my insecurities about my friends only being friends with me because I employed them and gave them lots of money to basically hang out with me. My tears fell even harder than before. I just wished I had let myself go down with Felix's car.
I heard someone walk out and shut my door, but I never felt the mattress move. After a moment, I felt Dad's hand rub my shoulder. "We may not be your real parents, but we're the only parents you've ever had," he said softly. "I know I haven't always been there for you as much as either of us would have liked, but I'm trying my hardest and doing my best to be the best father I can possibly be to you and your sister. Kayla has never made it easy for me, and lately, you haven't either. Ever since Helix passed-"
I interrupted him. "Stop," I said through sobs with a trembling voice. "I don't want to hear about him. You promised you'd never talk about him again. Now please leave me alone."
There was a moment of eerie silence before he spoke again. "I just don't want you to give up on life, and I don't want you to give up on me either."
"I'm twenty years old; I don't have to be here."
"You may be twenty, but you're still in high school and you still need me."
"Please, Dad. Leave me alone."
He tightened his grip on my shoulder. "I love you, Jimmy." I felt the bed shift as he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek for the first time since I was eight. "I'm taking you to school in the morning to make sure you get there safely and on time. After school, you and I are gonna have a good, old-fashioned father-and-son day and go car shopping. Just worry about getting some rest now. You need it."
He stood up, the bed shifting again, and left the room. Once I heard the door latch, I whispered, "I love you, too, Dad."