The room was pitch black as you leisurely opened your eyes, blinking a few times to wake yourself up. You were terrified to look to your left in case John was not there. The nightmares had stopped since he had returned to Small Heath but the fear of losing him were always lingering about, refusing to leave you alone. Especially at the dead of night when it was quiet, and you couldn't hear his infectious laugh that made your heart skip a beat every single time.
"John," you quietly whispered as you turned onto your side, your hand moving out to John's side of the bed. Relief came over your body as you felt his warmth on the palm of your hand, the heat of his skin immediately making you feel better. "Thank God," you whispered as you rested your forehead on his chest, not noticing John stir awake until his hand moved to your cheek.
"What's wrong, darling?" he asked, his voice groggy yet full of panic as he moved your head so you were looking at him. Not that you could see a thing in the room, it was gone two in the morning and everything was silent apart from yours and John's breathing. John pressed a light kiss against your lips when he noticed your inconsistent breathing, an attempt to calm you down. "Hey, tell me what's wrong otherwise I can't help you, can I?"
John felt a tear land against his hand that was pressed on your cheek, his heart splitting into two.
"I just had a nightmare, that's all," you told him, not wanting to go into too much detail in case he laughed at you for being foolish. Deep down, you knew that he wouldn't do such a thing.
"What was this nightmare about?" John asked, repeating the question when you refused to answer.
"I received a telegram which told me that you had died, God it sounds stupid." You chuckled half-heartedly as you snuggled in closer to John. "I used to have a dream similar to that all the time when you were away, woke up nearly every single morning with tears in my eyes. It stopped when you came back but after the other day, it must have triggered it, I don't really know," you admitted, referring to the shoot-out in the street between Kimber and the Shelby's. "I just don't want to lose you, ever."
John shuffled down the bed a little bit so he was face-to-face with you. "It's not stupid, not in the slightest. I'm sorry for scaring you the other day, it was never my intention and if I knew how much it had affected you then - "
"It's not your fault, John," you interrupted, not wanting him to feel any guilt. None of it was his fault - the war or the business - John just got dragged into it all like he always did. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
"I'm glad you did," John mumbled as he kissed your cheek sweetly, the action innocent. "Every time I slept during the war, I dreamt of you. I always wondered what you were doing, what you wearing, if you and Polly were getting on alright with business, they'd mostly be positive dreams but then there would be some and they would petrify me."
"What happened?"
"You'd given up on waiting for me and had moved on to someone else. It sounds daft and I knew that you would never leave me but it didn't stop me from worrying a little. I'll never forget the way I felt when I saw you waiting for me at the train station, felt like a dream."
"I could never leave you, love," you whispered.
Pressing your lips against John's, you felt safe again as he wrapped his arm around you and brought you in closer, no room between your bodies as he deepened the kiss. It was intimate moments like this that you had missed when he was away with the army - the way his hand felt on your naked skin, firing up every nerve inside of your body and the way his mouth felt against yours as it moved with yours like a perfect melody.
The temperature in the room heightened as you rolled your hips against John's crotch, a whimper slipping out of his mouth like silk as he wrapped his fingers in your hair, pulling your head back so he could move his lips to your neck. You wrapped one leg over John and attempted to roll him over so you were on top but John was strong enough to keep you in place as he continued to leave marks across your neck, a reminder in the morning that he was still there and would be forever.
Pulling back slightly, John took hold of your arms and pushed you back against the sheets, the cold silk causing goose bumps to rise on your body. John moved so he was hovering about you, his thumb travelling along your cheek until it reached your mouth, the coarse skin from years of violence and hard work rubbing against your soft lips.
"And I will never leave you."
With one arm wrapped around John's neck, you pulled him down so he was pretty much laid across you as you connected your mouths again, already missing the feeling of his lips on yours. John was becoming more desperate with his touches, his larger hands touching any part of your naked, warm skin that he could, the feeling sending you into a frenzy as you softly whimpered into his mouth.
The touch of his tongue on yours had you tugging at the hair, your head tilting to the side to deepen kiss and be able to taste every part of him. You didn't want detach yourself, the fear of losing him still bubbling in your stomach and taking over your mind. You were completely and utterly in love, your whole life dedicated to John and the thought of him not being around was too much, it physically caused you pain.
"I'm here," John mumbled as he pulled away slightly, his lips brushing over yours. "And I'm not going anywhere."
John pushed himself up slightly before moving down the bed, kisses pressed along your stomach as he shifted himself so he was placed in between your thighs. You moved your own body further down the sheets and leaned up on your elbows so you could see, your sight becoming clearer in the dark room as time passed. You could just make out his body shape, the way his muscles tensed and his mouth that was pressing open-mouthed kisses along the inside of your thighs.
"Please," you whispered, your voice shaky as you moved your hand to John's hair and tugged slightly, hoping it would encourage him.
John shushed you, signalling for you to be patient but you were desperate for him, you wanted to feel every part of him on your body. John was slow with his movements though, he wanted to make you feel special and take his time, remind you that he was there and always would be no matter what happened.
With light touches, John pushed your thighs apart, exposing yourself to him. You were already naked, the two of you having spent the early evening together in bed and deciding not to move, despite having planned to go over to The Garrison for some drinks with the family, you would both rather be alone in the bedroom, tucked up in each other's arms.
The feeling of his mouth on your clit didn't feel real at first, so delicate you almost believed you was dream but the way his arms wrapped around your thighs and brought you closer brought you back to real-life, he was there.
Without warning, John had pressed his tongue against your folds and was slowly moving up and down, bringing you enough pleasure to have you whimpering and desperate for more. John shifted his eyes to look at you, watching as your eyes slowly closed, your chest moving up and down as he continued to move his experienced tongue at an agonizing but pleasant speed.
"Do you like that?" John asked, moving a way slightly so he could talk to you.
You didn't reply and instead moved your hand to the back of his head, pushing him back as you begged him for more. John's tongue was sinful and was able to move in a delicious way, one suck on your clit had you flying back on the sheets, your hair splayed out across the creased sheets as you pleaded for him. You loved it when he was kind and gentle with you, but you loved it even more when he had his way, not giving you a chance to say anything as he pounded into you with a rough force.
John's large palms were running across your thighs, his fingers moving dangerously close to your entrance but not once giving you the sweet feeling that you craved. The noises that were being created from John's tongue were sensual as John improved his movements, no longer calm and collected as he tasted every inch of your soaking core, moaning in appreciation at the way you felt against his tongue.
"Are you alright?" he asked, slightly out of breath as he moved his fingers to your clit, rubbing in soft circles, enough to keep you going but not enough to push you over the edge.
"I just," you cut yourself off, your body jerking forwards as John sucked on your clit, relentless now with his actions as he brought you closer to the edge. There was no better sight than seeing you with your mouth wide open, your hair stuck to your forehead, you breathing erratic as you came on John's tongue. John would never get tired of seeing it and if you asked, he would get on his knees for you every single day, whenever you wanted. "I just want you."
As much as it pained John, he slowly moved away and back up your body, his lips on every bit of your skin, sucking and biting whenever he had the chance. Your legs were still wide open, ready and waiting for John to slid into you and bring you to ecstasy. Slow John had made a comeback though, his mouth worshipping every part of you.
"You have me," he whispered before kissing you once more, another reminder to keep you sane. "Always have, always will."
Sliding into you slowly, John placed his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. You had always been a screamer and as much as John loved it, he couldn't be dealing with the jokes tomorrow morning as they all ate breakfast. You moved your hips to meet John's, your moans muffled and stuffed into the palm of his hand as John's thrusts became relentless, how own orgasm building up as time passed.
John continued to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, praising you whenever he got the chance to speak normally, most of his words broken up into whimpers and moans whenever you clenched around him or it felt particularly good.
John's fingernails were digging into your cheeks, somehow your moans still managing to escape its confined space. John's need became too much and with quick movements, he had moved you so you were sat on his lap in a position that was a lot more intimate.
John removed his hand from your mouth and kissed you roughly, another attempt to silent you as he dug his fingers in your hips and slammed you down on his cock, his infamous smirk plastered on his face when you moaned into his mouth, John drinking it in.
"Good girl," John mumbled as he kissed you harder, his hands wandering all over your body as he helped you move up and down. "My favourite girl," John groaned, his eyes squeezing shut as he pushed his head into your neck. It was his turn to try and silence his moans.
"I'm so - "
You were interrupted by John flipping you back down, his hands gently pressed against your neck as he brought you closer to your orgasm, every thrust sending you into a different world as you tried to hold onto him. John's attempt at keeping you completely silent was out the window, he wanted to heat every single noise that you made, the groans and moans, the way you begged for him.
Your orgasm took over before you could even think about it, your hands twisting into the sheets as you allowed pleasure to take over. John's breathing was heavy in your ear, his moans a beautiful melody as he came himself, his orgasm unreal and like never before.
"Fuck," John said into your neck, pressing a few kisses along the glistening skin. "And that is the reason I stay," John joked as he rolled onto his back, chuckling when you lightly slapped him on the chest.
"You stay because you love me."