CHAPTER 46 | Learning
ZACK'S P.O.V.
One year. One year without seeing his face. One year without having him this close to me. One year without hearing his voice. One year without feeling the contact of his hands against my skin, at least in a softer way that wasn't them hitting me. And a whole year without feeling those nice sensations that only him could give me when he touched me.
His fingers continued to caress my cheeks gently, and he still seemed very lost in what was currently going on, as if he couldn't believe that I was actually standing there before him... That I was actually in one piece, alive. And I couldn't blame him for not believing it. After a year of telling yourself that someone has died, and then finding that person again, alive, I think everyone would have the same reaction.
As Mark tried to digest what was currently happening, with his hands that had now switched their attention to run them slowly over my hair, I took some time to take in his appearance. He was still the same big, giant guy I had always known. I've grown up a bit, enough so I can nuzzle my face on his neck without having to stand on my tip toes. He still has that tattoo on his neck that only adds to his badass boy appearance, although right now, he didn't look so much like it. He still looked so handsome, although his face no longer showed that cold or hateful look. Now it looked softer, gentler... But most of all, sadder. His dark hair was still messy and his beard had grown up a little more. But that didn't make him any less attractive. Besides, I like beards. They're so damn hot.
I've been waiting so long for this moment to finally arrive. The moment where I finally would stop hiding and make myself seen to him. Since that incident occurred at the back of the building, I decided that a year would be more than enough time to let him think about and regret every single action that he did to me. And what a better way to make him regret his actions than to faking my death. I wouldn't have done it if I knew that he didn't care about me, but deep inside I knew he did, but he was too blind and lost in his life of lies to admit it.
I knew that he cared about me, even after the beating that almost killed me. I knew that if someone let him know that I had died, he would feel so torn and guilty for what he did. Now he is here, standing just inches away from me, with those and many more emotions evident on his face. I'm glad that everything went just as I planned.
You may be thinking that all of this was unnecessary. That I could've found a different way of revenge. But nothing was better than what I did. I wasn't just going to show up to the school the next day after he beat me up like a punching bag, and expect him to apologize to me without receiving any kind of payback. I knew I couldn't hurt him physically like he did to me. But emotionally... Yes, I could do that. He had to learn the consequences of his actions, he had to regret everything he did wrong, he had to feel as sorry as possible for killing me. And that's what I see on his face now that he's here in front of me.
He ran this long until getting to me, and I couldn't feel more accomplished now. I wasn't going to make my grand reappearance only by walking over to his house and say, Hey Mark! Look, I'm alive! just like that. I wanted to make him feel confused, shocked... That the image that was before his eyes wasn't real. If he really cared about me, then he was going to run after me and don't let me escape again. And that's what he did. I couldn't be happier and more grateful for that. My friends and aunt will be proud of me for what I was able to achieve. Besides, I had to show off my new running skills, that I was able to develop with the passing of time.
What matters now is that I have him here, and he has me here. There is a lot to explain to him, and he also has a lot to explain to me, whether he likes it or not. I didn't plan this whole year of faking my death only to hear lies spilling out of his mouth again. He's going to say the absolute truth, and I won't be playing games anymore.
Taking a deep breath and finally lowering my gaze to the ground, I took hold of his wrists, and I slowly pulled his hands away from my head. His hands seemed really light as I pulled them away, he didn't apply force, he just let me put them down on both of his sides. He still looked so dumbfounded, that I was starting to worry that he was going to stay like that for the rest of the day.
"Mark..." I said softly after a while to catch his attention. It still seemed a bit rare to say his name after months of not saying it. "Let's go to my house."
But he stayed there, staring at me, with his mouth slightly open, still like a statue. I guess he can't still believe what is going on around him. He's more shocked than I expected him to be, an expression that I had never seen on his face before.
"Mark." I spoke more firmly and louder this time, and it worked, as I saw him shaking his head and blinking. He gulped and shifted a bit on his spot, and I guess he could hear me now. "I'm going to explain everything, and you're going to do the same. We are going to my house, okay?"
After some seconds, he slowly nodded his head, his eyes locked onto mine, but still not able to form any words. Looking at the big tough guy at a lost of words was not a sight of every day.
We couldn't stay in this alley any longer, and looking that he wasn't going to move from his spot anytime soon, I decided to take the lead. I walked to stand at his side, and I took hold of his wrist, those sweet tingles making themselves present on my hand once again after a long time. Mark turned his head to look at me. I tugged on his wrist, telling him to follow me.
He slowly turned around, and with little steps, he started to walk behind me as we exited from the alley and onto the sidewalk. We retraced the way that we had used to run, to go back to Mark's house where his car was. I increased my pace as I walked faster, which made Mark increase his pace too, due to the grip that I had on his wrist. We received some weird stares from the people around the street, but I didn't give a fuck if they were looking at us.
We were almost at his house. Turning my head slightly to look behind my shoulder, I immediately caught Mark's eyes staring into my own. But as soon as I caught him staring, I watched as he licked his lips and lowered his gaze to the ground, a small blush creeping onto his cheeks. I couldn't help but smile internally at that as I turned to look back in front of me. Oh, how I missed his cute side. I'm glad I still have that effect on him.
We continued walking, with him following behind me like a lost puppy. And in a way, he was. He looked so lost right now. But he won't be anymore after all of this gets solved once for all. I'm sure of that.
We walked a little more until we were at the driveway of his house, his car parked there and his things on the ground. His car was indeed destroyed at the front and the windows quite cracked, just like Amber had told me. I let go of his wrist and made my way to the other side of his car, opening the passenger door and climbing in. I watched through his window as he slowly bent down to pick up his backpack and his car keys. He opened his door and climbed in, putting his backpack on the back seats and holding his keys on his hand. He closed the door and stayed there, looking at the steering wheel. Then he turned to look at me again, still not believing that I was there.
This time I was the one who averted my gaze, as I turned to look in front of me and waited for him to start the engine. I just hope that he's in a good condition to drive. But that didn't happen as I turned to look back at Mark after a moment, to find him still staring at me.
Okay, I know he's shocked, and he looks cute when he looks at me like that, but it's getting a little weird. Sighing, I talked to him in the calmest way possible. "Are you going to drive or what?"
He blinked again, nodding his head at me before he turned his gaze in front of him. With very shaky hands, he lifted his keys and guided them slowly to the keyhole of the steering wheel, making them clink against each other repetitively. I had a bad feeling about this. What if he can't focus on driving due to everything that's happening around him.
I decided to do what was best for the both of us. "You know what, I drive." I said as I opened my door and closed it once I was out. I made my way to the other side of the car, opening the door of the driver seat. Mark looked up at me doe eyed, as if waiting for my next instruction. "Move to the other seat." I told him, and he obeyed after he nodded at me and slid onto the passenger seat.
After that, I climbed in again and closed the door once I was sat. His seat warmed up my butt and legs nicely, as I took the keys from his hand and started the engine. I put the car in reverse and pulled away from his driveway. After that, I put the car in drive and drove us to my house. Yeah, driving was another of the skills that I developed with the passing of time. Amber taught me. Although it was not a nice experience, if you ask me.
I drove down the road in silence, as I anxiously thought about everything that I was going to tell him once we got to my house. There was so much to tell him, and I hope that by the time that I finish my explanation, that he can find his voice again so he can explain everything to me too. Only then we will be cleared of any doubts and questions.
My train of thought was interrupted by a rush of tingles that went from my cheek and traveled all along my face, making me shiver. From the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a pair of fingers rubbing against my cheek gently. I moved my eyes from the road to look at my right for a brief moment, to find Mark caressing softly with his knuckles over the scar on my cheek, the scar that he had created. His face was a mix of sadness and guiltiness as his knuckles continued to rub over the scar. I couldn't help but smile at his actions as I turned to look back at the road, letting Mark's fingers run over the skin on my face.
I pulled his car to a stop at the driveway of my house, next to my own car. I was also able to afford one, since I got my license already and I'm eighteen now. I opened the door, Mark withdrawing his hand from my cheek before I stepped out. Almost as soon as I did so, Mark opened his own door and closed it shut once he stepped out, going to walk towards me with quick steps, as if afraid that I was going to run away again. He came to stand at my side and waited patiently for me to do the next move.
Smiling a bit, I walked over to the door of my house and unlocked it with my keys. I walked in after I opened it, to be met with the silent atmosphere of my house that I had accustomed to hearing. Mark stepped in shortly after I did, and when we were both finally alone from the outside world, I closed the door behind us.
Mark's eyes roamed around my house. He moved his head up, looking at his surroundings, and stopping at any random object that caught his attention. As cute as he looked exploring my house with his eyes, there wasn't time for him to stop and stare at every single thing. So, walking forward, I told him to follow me to the living room, and he did without hesitation.
Once there, I walked over to the larger couch and sat there, motioning my head to Mark towards the smaller couch opposite me. He nodded, looking at the couch and then taking a seat slowly, facing me. We both sat there, staring at each other for a while.
Finally, we're face to face once again. It still seems so unbelievable. I almost feel as if I'm dreaming. But this is real. The time has come now, time to clear this out once for all.
Sighing, I looked down at the floor, licking my lips. I leaned my back on the sofa, wondering how to start this. "So... Where to start..."
Mark didn't say anything. He just sat there, waiting patiently for me to start talking. He had his elbows resting on his knees, his eyes don't leaving my face for a single second.
I sighed again, this time for real. "Look, first of all, I want to be sure that you're listening to me, because I'm not repeating myself. Is that clear?"
He nodded, shifting on his seat so his full attention was on me now. I took that as my cue to start speaking.
"This house, as empty and as lonely as you see it, it's been like this since I was sixteen. That's right, I don't have my parents like you or anyone else does. I did know them, and I lived with them for quite a long time. The thing is that they abandoned me. You may be asking why. Well, I never did anything wrong, all I had to do was to come out to them, to tell them I was bisexual. That was enough to make my dad discharge his anger on me by beating me up, almost to the point of killing me... And before that, I had came out to someone at my old school. A friend, I used to call him. How stupid I was to trust him and tell him my secrets, only to have him spilling them all over the entire school. Everyone laughed at me. And I was also so stupid as to trust my parents and tell them the same thing. But you know what? I feel relieved that they're not here with me anymore. They never cared that much about me, anyway. They only cared about their money. And in the end, when they escaped to live to god knows where, they left it all to me. Maybe my dad thought he had killed me right there, and that's why he escaped with my mom. But it wasn't loneliness and emptiness all the time after they left the house. My aunt must have heard what occurred somehow, and she's the one who has taken care of me ever since. I couldn't be more grateful for counting with her help. She's really like the most affectionate and caring mom that I never had." I explained.
At this point Mark's eyes and mouth were wide open. I continued. "I changed from the school where I previously was, because I couldn't handle all the humiliation after my friend told everyone my secret. So, once I got to this school, that's how I met you. If it wasn't for Amber who dragged me to your group so I could meet your friends too. And I'll be honest, since the first time I saw you, I really liked you. It was really hard for me to keep my eyes off of you because you were just so attractive... I still think you are, but I try to contain my emotions now. But I guess you thought that from the way I was looking at you, that I was going to jump you, rape you or whatever, while all I wanted was to be your friend. And what was one of the first words that you exchanged with me for the first time? Oh right... Faggot." I said, and I watched as Mark flinched slightly at the word.
"It hurts now, right? That's the way I felt every time you called me that. But then you changed, and we slowly started to become friends, because you bought the lie of me saying that I was straight; but anyway, what mattered for me was that I had you as a friend now. I liked that side of you, the friendly, gentle and funny one that you used to be around me. I really liked having you as a friend, I was more than okay with that. Seeing that you were straight, I wasn't going to force you to change your likings, to like me or anything of the sort, if that's what you thought I was going to do. And that's when you changed again, you went back to being the cold hearted person of the beginning; you ignored me, glared and yelled at me, and I never knew exactly why your life gave that unexpected turn. A while later it didn't take long before you started this thing of kissing me whenever you had the opportunity. That only added to my confusion even more, and I never knew why you had started doing that until you told me everything you felt towards me, the things I made you feel, how you liked kissing me, and how no one else had made you felt so good before. With the time I found out that you did have feelings towards me, but you continued contradicting and denying yourself because you were afraid of showing me, of showing you, who you really were... You wanted me to disappear from the school, from your life, from the world, because you said that I had ruined your life; and that's what led to the beating. You invented a lie so your so-called friends would help you to beat me up, thinking that that was the best way to erase your feelings for me and go back to living your perfect straight life? Pathetic. That's what a coward would do." I laughed humourlessly, Mark's head hanging down low and looking at his feet guiltily with a sad look.
"Be thankful that I didn't kill myself when I got to my house after you beat me up, because believe me, I was on the verge of doing it. I was so close to wrap the curtain around my neck and jump off my bed to end with the suffering that you provoked on me once for all." I said, looking at how Mark lifted his head to look at me horrified. "But I didn't do it... I knew that you were not in the right state of mind when you did that to me. That was an involuntary action of your stubborn brain and I knew that you didn't hate me entirely. There had to be a way to clear all those thoughts out of your head, the thoughts that didn't let you accept who you were, that made you hate other people for their sexuality, that made you beat them up without mercy... And what a better way for you to learn that than faking my death. Only that way you would really feel remorse and regret for what you did, and only that way you'd stop making the same mistakes. And I'm glad you did. I talked to my friends and aunt about this, and at first they didn't want to do it because they thought it wasn't going to lead anywhere. They only wanted to get you into prison for what you did, but I didn't let them do that. Instead, I convinced them to stick to my plan, to make you believe that I was really dead, until the time came for me to finally show up. And they reluctantly accepted. Amber and my friends were in charge of telling me every single day how you were feeling, and when they told me you looked torn, sad, depressed, I knew that I had to continue with my plan until it was necessary. As for school, I didn't bother to change to another, I kept going to that same one, only in afternoon classes. When your classes ended, mine started; I always entered from the back entrance and that's why you never saw me."
I took a deep breath, as all that Mark could do now was stare at me with wide eyes, digesting everything that I told him. He knew everything he had to know about me, now it was his turn. "I hope that it wasn't in vain all this time that I pretended to be dead. So... Do you still think I'm the one who ruined your life?" I asked him.
He quickly shook his head, finally speaking. "No... No. You never ruined my life... I was the one who ruined it." He said, and after a brief moment of silence, he continued. "I was an idiot. I was a complete asshole for the way I treated you those days. You see... Ever since I was a kid, I was never as arrogant or as boastful as when you first knew me. I was the complete opposite. At elementary school, it was really difficult for me to get friends, I was alone most of the time. I was even bullied and mocked because I was different from the others, because I didn't fit with them. I was an easy target for everyone. Fortunately, my brother Wyatt was with me during the years of elementary school, and most of the time he was the one who defended me from the bullies. As you can see, I couldn't even defend myself, believe it or not... My first years at school were so crappy and sometimes I had to feign I was sick so mom wouldn't take me..." He explained with a saddened look. Even though I knew that from Wyatt who had told me, I still had to hear it from him. What I didn't know and what surprised me was that he had been bullied. I would have never thought that.
"Now... I'll just get to the point and say it once for all, because I can't keep lying to you anymore. Zack... Ever since I can remember, I have always... I have always known that I was gay. I admit it. Since my early teenage years I started to realize that I found myself attracted mostly to guys than girls. One of those days was when I found out that Wyatt was gay too, and I didn't see it as something bad. Only that when I first found out about it, I did feel a bit ashamed of confessing it, but I still wanted to tell it to him, and to my parents when I felt ready to do so. I was planning to tell them after Wyatt told them first, that if they took it well. And you might have guessed it already... They didn't. My dad, at least. He said a lot of menacing things to Wyatt, things like no one was ever going to love him, that everyone would hate him, that he was never going to have a family and that he was a disgrace for our family and the world. Those words that I heard from my dad filled me with so much fear. Since that day I started to think that everything that he mentioned was going to happen to me if I didn't do something to change. I didn't want to be hated anymore, or being alone, nor being a disappointment to my family. That's why I began to erase every single thought about me being gay, I wanted to convince myself and everyone that I wasn't, and so I became the closeted gay guy disguised as a tough, bad and completely straight boy. And you might be thinking that what happened with Wyatt and my family wasn't an excuse for me to act that way, and you're right. I shouldn't have acted like that with others just because I suffered the same. I just thought that that was the right thing to do... But now I see how wrong I was."
He finally admitted it. He admitted to be who he really is, and I felt sort of relieved now that I heard him say it.
"Believe it or not, you weren't the only one who suffered because of me, Zack. Back in my first year of high school I had... Like they call them, a crush on various boys that I saw over there. But I didn't want anyone to find out, nor I wanted to have that kind of crushes, not on boys. So the best thing that I could do was... To beat them." He confessed, looking down at the floor. "I did that with every boy that caught my attention. It was a thing of cowards, like you say, and I deserve to be called that. I was a coward... And that's when you stepped into my life, Zack. When Amber introduced you to us, since the very first instant that my eyes locked onto you, I thought that you had the most beautiful face and eyes that I had ever seen. And I still think so. But yet when you tried to be friendly to me, I treated you like shit. I humiliated you in front of them so they wouldn't suspect that I liked you... And I just want you to know that I never intended to say those words to you, but they still came out of my mouth. I'm really sorry for that..." He apologized, and I could hear how his voice cracked a bit.
"When we became friends it was because I accidentally called Wyatt... Well, a... A fag. And he told me that whoever I had been telling that to, that I had to stop saying it. And I really felt bad for you since those days that I called you that, that's why I made you my friend. You seemed... Nice to me. And no, it wasn't because you told me that you were straight, I actually didn't mind if you told me that you were gay, bi or whatever. I actually cared about our friendship as much as you did, believe me. You were so easy to talk to, I really enjoyed being around you, even more than my actual friends. But with the time that we continued hanging around at the bleachers or around the school, I started to realize that my feelings for you were getting every day stronger. Only by seeing you approaching, you made my heart thump like crazy, you made my stomach flutter with excitement, you made me want to just pull you close to me and never let you go. No one had ever made me feel like that, neither any of the girls nor the previous boys that I beat up. I knew that there was something special about you, but at the same time I didn't want to feel that. Every day and every night your image came into my head at any second, I couldn't take you out of it as much as I tried. Whenever I tried to think of something else, you were always in my mind. One of those nights... You could say that... That I was thinking about you a bit too much..." He said in a low voice, rubbing his nape and from here I could see his face changing to a red color. I knew what he meant by that, and I could only widen my eyes. "So... After that I realized that I really liked you, but then as always, I started to reprimand myself by telling me that what I was feeling was wrong. That hanging around with you was making me think about that, and in order to stop those thoughts and feelings, I had to get away from you. I even hurt myself by cutting my arms as a punishment for thinking that way of you... That's why the next day I suddenly started to ignore you."
It all was beginning to make sense as he continued. "I really didn't want to do that, but I didn't want to have those feelings towards you- No, I did want to have them but... I was in a constant battle with myself that I didn't know what I wanted. Although I was sure that I wanted you, I just didn't want to admit it. It was until the day of the second party that I threw when I found out that you had slept with my brother... When I found out about that, I felt like... Like the most jealousy that I had ever felt. I thought that you two were already dating, and that I would lose you for good, and that you would forget entirely about me. I knew that we weren't even a couple, but still I couldn't help but feel that way. That's why I started to kiss you. I wanted to prove once for all if I really liked you, and since the first kiss that we shared, I knew that I did. I liked it so much, but I never admitted it. Every time I kissed you, it felt so good, but yet so wrong for me. I expected that someday it would stop feeling that good, but instead the sensation of your kisses just became better. Again, I thought that if you just stopped showing into my life, I would go back to the one I used to be, and that's when that shit happened..."
"I'm a fucking idiot for everything that I did to you, Zack. I'm an idiot for always blaming you for everything, for calling you those names, for almost killing you... If I had accepted my sexuality earlier, and if I had told you, nothing of this would have happened. But I deserve it. Only that way I could see the consequences of my actions... You don't know the pain I felt when Amber told me that... You had killed yourself. I felt as if my entire world had crumbled, and I knew it was my fault... Every night I cried until I fell asleep, hoping that it would just be a nightmare..." His voice cracked more at that, and I heard a sob escaping from him. I looked at his face to see a tear slipping down his right cheek. "H-Hearing that hurt me so much... One day I was about to kill myself because of that, because I couldn't bear the thought of you being dead... I always had dreams of you, where I saw you dead, or sometimes alive... I even had hallucinations about you one time, a-and every day I prayed for a miracle to happen, like that you could be alive... And now I really hope that I'm not having another hallucination, or that this is not a dream, b-because you don't know how happy and relieved it makes me, t-to finally hear your voice again, to see your face, to have you right here with me, to know that you're alive... Something that I thought would never happen. And... And..."
He couldn't finish his sentence because then he buried his face in his hands and started sobbing like I had never heard him before. I just stayed there, sitting, not believing what I was seeing right now. Although I must say that I kind of expected it.
"I'm sorry..." He whispered, a tear falling from the tip of his nose to the floor.
I stayed like that for a moment, unsure of what to do. I just hope that he really means that apology.
Suddenly, I looked at Mark to see him rising slowly from the couch, with tears still running down his cheeks. Then he started to give small, heavy steps towards me. I prepared myself to stand up too, just in case he wanted to attack me or something.
But he did the complete opposite thing. As Mark was now only inches apart from me and as I looked up at him, he did what I never thought he would do. I watched as he got on one knee, and then on the other. He knelt right in front of me as he rested his arms on my legs. He lowered his head to the floor and continued to sob again, this time harder.
"I'm so sorry!" He cried, feeling how his warm tears fell on my pants and his heavy body shook with every sob that escaped from him. "I'm very, very sorry for everything... Please forgive me!"
He was... Really apologizing. He was actually doing it. Kneeling right before me, and I could feel how sincere his words sounded as he repeated them over and over again. All the apologies that he had kept to himself, were now coming out in form of cries and lamentations.
"I'm very sorry, Zack... I-I learned my lesson... Now I beg for your forgiveness... Please... Please forgive me..."
His loud crying filled the silent room, as the only sound that could be heard. His body shook violently and I didn't doubt that a puddle of tears had formed just below my feet.
I brought my hand to the back of his head and caressed it softly, as the only thing that I thought would comfort him just a bit. And it seemed like it did. Soon his crying decreased in frequency little by little as I ran my hand through his dark hair in a comforting manner, welcoming my hand with those beautiful tingles that only him possessed.
After a while, he was no longer crying. He was just letting out small whimpers and hiccups. I brought my right hand to place it on his chin, and I lifted his head slowly. His face was red as well as his swollen eyes, completely stained in wet and dry tears. His look was one of complete regret, sorry, and hurt, one that I had never seen in my life. I never really thought I would see him like this, but in a way, it's a good thing. That only shows how sorry he really is. That's all I wanted to see.
I resisted the urge to kiss all of his tears away, as I stood up from the couch, making him stand up too on wobbly legs. He sniffed and tried to wipe his tears as his eyes full of hope waited for me to say something. Something that would make him feel better.
"Mark..." I said, my voice sounding incredibly hoarse and weak. I cleared my throat before I spoke again. "You... You have to go."
However, that didn't look like it made him feel any better as his eyes widened, his breathing increased and he started to shake his head to both sides.
"No... N-No, please... Please don't kick me out." He said, and once again, the tears started to pour down from his eyes.
I realized how that sounded and I quickly tried to compose it. "Wait, I didn't mean-"
"Please, Zack... Don't make me go! I don't want to leave you!" He sobbed again, as he placed his hands on both of my shoulders and pulled me into a tight hug, catching me off guard.
"Mark... Let me finish-"
"I don't want to leave you..." He cried, burying his face on the crook of my neck, feeling how his tears now ran down over it. "I don't want you to leave me again..."
His grip around me tightened as he clung to me for dear life, almost knocking the breath out of my lungs. I felt the pace of his quick heart against my chest. Everything I could do now was hug him back, trying to find a way to stop his crying again... But I couldn't blame him. He does really feel like I'm going to disappear like in one of his dreams... He thinks that this is a dream.
"Mark... I won't leave you. I'm just telling you to go home for today. I want you to come back tomorrow." I spoke gently on his shoulder.
"B-But if I go... You will disappear."
"I'm not going anywhere." I reassured him, patting his back. "My friends and aunt are coming here to discuss something. I don't want them to make you uncomfortable."
He didn't say anything, he just continued to cry on my neck, refusing to let me go of his bear grip. As much as I'd like to hold him like this for longer, I had to pull away slowly from him. Just a bit, so now we were facing each other directly, our faces just inches away, his hands still holding onto my arms, as if afraid that I was really going to leave him. But I wasn't. After what he said just seconds ago, I'm never going to make him suffer like that.
I took his head on my hands, wiping his tears with my thumbs. "I'm not going anywhere." I whispered to him. "I'll be here tomorrow. I'm not disappearing ever again."
He sniffed. "Y-You promise?"
I smiled at him, feeling my own tears threatening to escape from my eyes. "I promise."
He hugged me a last time, before his shaky hands gave my arms a last squeeze and he let me go. He gulped, licking his lips and a tear in the process, but he paid no mind to that.
"Be here tomorrow at six, okay?" I told him, and he looked disappointed at that.
"Can't it be earlier?"
"My aunt is coming here again tomorrow, and she'll probably leave around six. And you know... It will take her a while to accept you again. But I'll make sure to talk to her, and to my friends, so they all can accept you. I'm sure they will. Everything will go back to normal once I clear all this out. Okay?"
He nodded slowly at me, looking down at his fingers. "Okay... Then I'm going to go to sleep early today. The sooner I go to sleep, the faster tomorrow will arrive and- And I'll see you again. Right?" He asked with a hopeful look.
I gave him a smile. "Right."
After a moment, I guided him to the door. I opened it and waited for him to step out. He didn't do so before turning to look at me a last time... Well, not a last time, at least only for today. We're going to see each other again tomorrow.
I gave him a small smile, and surprisingly enough, he returned it. His eyes were still so red and swollen from all his crying, but he still managed to crack a small smile to me. There was something else in his look too. He looked relieved, like a big weight had been lifted off his shoulders. And believe me, I felt that relief too. Finally we're both here again, and we will live our normal lives like we used to do. Although, maybe not that normal... Who knows.
Mark brought his hand up to caress the scar on my cheek once again, and I leaned into his touch. It was just for a short moment before he stepped out of my house and towards his damaged car.
I looked at him from my doorway, watching as he slowly opened his door, turning to look at me every now and then, as if to make sure that I was still there until he got inside his car.
"Please drive carefully." I told him.
He nodded at me. "I will. Don't worry." He said, giving me a reassuring smile, which I returned.
We stared at each other for a few more seconds until Mark finally started the engine and advanced slowly onto the road. Our eyes remained locked to each other's until Mark couldn't turn his neck anymore and he had to look forward at the road.
I watched until his car disappeared behind a house and I sighed. I closed my door behind me and rested my back on it. I felt a lump in my throat, and without me being able to control it, the tears started to pour down from my own eyes. I slid down into a sitting position, and now my cries were the ones that filled my lonely house.
I don't know why I started crying. It just happened. Whatever the reason is, I'm sure that when I finish crying, everything is going to be okay from now on. I know it.
After my tantrum, I stood up from the floor and made sure to look like I hadn't been crying. A while later my doorbell rang and I cleaned my face a last time before I went to open it. Amber was standing there, with a hand on her hip and with a few scratches on her face. Now what did she get herself into? Anyway, Vincent was standing behind her with an arm wrapped around Jaida's waist. Yeah, those two became a thing since some months ago.
"Is he here?" Amber asked, glancing inside my house.
"No, he's already gone." I told her. "You can come in."
After they all walked in, I peeked out of the door to both sides to see if my aunt was over here, but it looked like she wasn't coming today. So I simply closed the door while my friends took their seats at the dining table.
I joined them, sitting on the chair at the middle and intertwining my fingers on the table, as if I was some sort of boss. I stayed silent for a moment, wondering how to start explaining to them the whole thing.
"So, spill! What happened? Did he apologize?" Amber asked, leaning her cheek on the palm of her hand.
I stared at her for a while. "What's up with the scratches?"
"Nothing important. Just tell us." She said.
I took a deep breath and so I started to spill everything that happened, since I made him to chase after me, until everything that I told him and what he told me. They all looked so hooked in the story at the part of Mark confessing his homosexuality, apologizing for his mistakes and also at the part of him crying. But I didn't say too many details on that. I just told them he cried and that's it. What they needed to know was that he is indeed gay, and that he really meant his apologies.
But after I finished explaining, there were still a few unsure faces. At least one. And that was Vincent's. "But... Do you think he really meant it?" He asked.
I gave him a dull look. "Of course. I know when something sounds sincere, and everything that Mark said sounded completely real for once in his life. I've heard him saying lies for so long but now he wasn't lying. He really felt sorry. He even cried. I mean, come on, Mark Pierce cried! That only means that what he said is completely true."
"What if he faked it?" Vincent continued.
I scoffed. "It didn't look like he faked it! How could he have done that? Why are you so negative about this, Vin?"
"It's nothing, I just... Don't think I fully trust him yet. What if he's trying to hurt you again?" He said.
"He's not the same cold hearted person that he used to be, Vincent, I know it. People change, Mark changed, in a good way. Besides, it makes sense what he explained about his past, about what happened with his brother and parents. When he grow up he became this arrogant jock of the school and treated almost everyone badly because he felt rejected in his past years of school. He thought that he was doing the right thing, but after everything that has happened, he has learned from his mistakes and I don't think he's going to commit them ever again."
They remained silent for a moment until Jaida spoke. "He has a point. I think he has really changed. Besides, we all saw how he reacted after we told him that Zack had died. From that day on he looked so crestfallen and guilty."
"Yeah. Also, one day he asked us for when his funeral would be. And the next day, he even got into a car accident!" Amber commented.
Jaida nodded. "I think that this whole situation about Zack led to all of that. He looked like... Like he couldn't continue living without you." She said looking at me.
"Exactly." I replied. "The times that he kissed me... I felt like there was a connection between us, and I'm sure he felt it too. He was denying himself and hiding his true self for so long. But now he has finally admitted it. His denial was the main problem that caused all of this, and now that it's gone, the problems between us will be gone too."
Vincent considered my words for a moment until he sighed. "Well, I guess you're right. It's just that all the time that I've known him, he had always been so rude and arrogant. I think it'll take a bit of time to get used to the new him." He said and we all nodded in agreement.
"So what happens after this?" Jaida asked after a while.
"We will have a last talk tomorrow and then... Hopefully everything will be back to normal."
"A talk?" Amber asked, smirking at me.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Amber. A talk."
"Will you two ever become a thing? Because you didn't do all of this so you can be just friends and then each of you can go their separate ways, did you?" She asked.
"I don't know, Amber. Maybe we will, but... I don't know if Mark would want..."
"Of course he'll want! Once you talk things through, I'm sure he will never want to let go of you. Trust me." She reassured me. "I still can't believe that he's actually gay, though. I mean, since that day that you told us how he kissed you, I was like... No freaking way! The impossible has become possible!"
"Yeah. I couldn't believe it either." I said.
"Did you show him your muscles?" Vin asked me.
I chuckled. "Not yet. But I think he took a small glimpse of them."
Vincent hadn't been so negative all the time. One day he knocked at my door and told me to go to the gym with him. It wasn't a question, but an order. He told me that I had to impress Mark by the time this date arrived, and at first I was hesitant, but then accepted. In addition, he also taught me some boxing so I could defend myself. And in the end, I was really satisfied with the results.
We continued talking about some more things before they had to go home. Not before thanking each of them for helping me all these past months. I couldn't be more grateful to count with friends like them.
Amber left happily, squealing and saying something like her ship was no longer sunk, and that it was sailing once again. I wasn't confused anymore since she taught me the meanings of all of these terms that fangirls use. Heh.
When they left, I could only wait for the night to fall so I could go to sleep, and Mark could come and see me again the next day.
But as I lied on my bed, it was really difficult for me to fall asleep. Due to everything that ran through my mind at the moment. The thought of seeing Mark again had me full of anxiousness and nervousness and that prevented me from closing my eyes.