J.JK
The reception eventually came and I would be lying if I said I was enjoying it.
Champagne flowed like drinking water and the atmosphere was filled with laughter and cheerful banter.
All I could do was suffer through this whole ordeal for the appearances. My parents forced me to attend this wedding to make it look like there was no bad blood between our companies but the sight just makes me sick to my stomach.
I really want to believe that her smiles were forced but truly she looked happy to be in this wedding. She looked happy to be the bride.
She looked happy to be his bride.
And I'm just here, downing every champagne filled glass that comes my way because only alcohol can dull my pain at this point.
I then painfully watched as she clung onto his arm while they make rounds with the guests. Happily exchanging laughters with other guests. Smiles like the ones you'd see on magazines.
The atmosphere was supposedly happy but all it did was put an unbearable weight on me. Slowly crushing my soul. I did my best to tune out the happiness of the people around me by listening to the waves crash on the beach where the reception is being held.
I was so fixated on trying to tune out this whole reception that it took me a while to realize that someone was already tapping my shoulder. I eventually looked to see who it was and saw that it was Lisa, with a worried look on her face.
She took the champagne glass out of my hand then set it aside and said, "You certainly look out of it, enjoy the party Jungkook, I'm sure Haewon and Eunwoo would want to see you enjoy."
She then plucks an appetizer from a waiter passing by and says, "I mean look at these mini quiches, don't they just look adorable?! And they taste good too."
Lisa was right with one thing, I was really out of it and I didn't want to deal with her cheerfulness so I said, "Look, Lisa, if you feel like you want to party it up then go do it by yourself, I'm not in the mood."
Before she could respond, I saw a waitress passing by with a tray of champagne flutes and grabbed one then downed the drink in one go.
Despite my clear attempts of showing her that I was not interested, she extended her hand and said, "Alright then, if you're going to be so damn uptight, then why don't you bring that frustrations to the dance floor."
Reluctantly, I took her hand and decided to dance with her as the string quartet in the background played some waltz-like music.
I had nothing else better to do anyways so I decided to join her in the dance floor. She placed my hand on her waist, her hand on my shoulder while our other free hands intertwined with each other as we moved across the dance floor.
To my surprise, I came to enjoy the dancing despite my distinct hate for the event.
I will not lie, the dance started awkward. We were shuffling uneasily from side to side but eventually when I pulled her closer so I could easily match her movements, the fluid heat of the moment seemed to flow through our bodies and passion burst as I dipped her and brought her back for us to glide around the dance floor in graceful movements.
Suddenly I felt more conscious of the hand that I had on her waist and our hands that were laced through each other. I became wary of the people that were staring but somehow it slowly faded away with each coordinate step I took with her.
Everything was going so well with Lisa and I really thought that I could find myself enjoying something amidst my heartbreak when suddenly the hired host for the reception exclaimed out of nowhere, "I see you lovely couples are enjoying the dance floor but why don't we switch things up a bit and switch partners with the couple next to you."
In a flash Lisa was pulled away to be partnered with someone else and I was all alone until I felt an all too familiar hand touch my shoulder.
I looked and saw the very woman of the hour. The bride herself. Kyong Haewon.
The intoxicating woman that has placed me in this pit of pain. My mind told me to just yell at her for breaking my heart but somehow there were no words that came out of my mouth.
Instead my body surrendered to her touch. I let her take control of the situation. Her fingers laced through mine and she looked at me expectantly and I found myself carefully placing my hand on her waist and pulling her closs but not too close as to cause an issue with those who were watching.
A ghost of a smile grew on her lips and it made me question if she really smiled at all knowing how it disappeared within a second glance.
Then the music started playing and it was a slow sad song. One that surely tugged at the heartstrings and the very song resonated how I really felt about the circumstances.
You're in my arms, and all the world is calm.
The music playing on for only two.
So close, together.
And when I'm with you
So close, to feeling alive.
I couldn't help but lean into her and smell her signature Chanel perfume that smelled of cocoa and vanilla. I pulled back right after knowing that getting too close would be scandalous at her wedding.
A life goes by,
Romantic dreams must die.
So I bid mine goodbye
And never knew.
So close, was waiting,
Waiting here with you.
And now, forever, I know
All that I wanted
To hold you so close.
I then stared into her feline like eyes and felt like I was being pulled back to when I first saw her in those school hallways. I never knew it was possible to fall in love with the same girl twice and each times fall so deeply.
But nothing was impossible with Haewon. I could fall in love with her a thousand more times and never get tired of it.
The song swelled into its climax and the lyrics hit me harder than it did moments ago.
So close to reaching
That famous happy end.
Almost believing
This one's not pretend.
And now you're beside me,
And look how far we've come.
So far we are. So close...
Oh how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close to reaching
That famous happy end,
And almost believing,
This one's not pretend.
Let's go on dreaming
For we know we are...
So close, so close
And still so far...
I hated the silence that existed between us and so I asked, "Do you still love me?"
To my surprise she only gave me a small smile then said, "You will always be the handsome boy who called my charcoal hair beautiful when I was a young girl."
"You're still not answering my question," I said and this time her expression falters as she looks at me with sorrow in her eyes when she says, "Eunwoo is my husband now and I have duties to him, my feelings to you shouldn't matter anymore."
"Maybe to you but your true feeling matter to me," I pleaded, "Tell me, that in some sort of wicked twist, you'll be mine in the end, just give me a sign and I'll wait."
She shook her head and said, "That's unfair to Lisa." I looked at her in surprise then said, "How did you know about that?"
"World travels fast, and besides she was right," I said and I raised my brow in confusion then asked, "She was right with what."
"She was right in saying that what you have with her will be way better with what you'll ever get with me," she said, in a tone so somber I could've sworn she was trying to suppress a sob.
She smiled sadly and said, "All I bring you is pain Jungkook, even when we fight together so that we can be with each other, there's always something in the way."
"Jungkook till the day that I die you will always have a special place in my heart, first love never dies," she said ruefully, "But that's all you'll ever be now, my first love."
Before I could say anything more, I heard someone clear their throat and I looked to see Eunwoo. He gave me a polite smile then said, "May I cut in, I believe I am entitled to time with my wife."
I reluctantly let go of Haewon and watched as she settled into Eunwoo's arms right after.
I couldn't bear to look at them anymore. The reception was winding down already anyways so when I spotted Lisa, I gently grabbed her by the wrist and said, "We're going home."
Eventually, we got in our car and the ride was at first silent until Lisa broke the silence by saying, "Seemed like you had a good time dancing with a married woman."
I rolled my eyes and said, "It doesn't matter."
"It doesn't matter? Doesn't matter?!," she yelled out of nowhere, "It matters to me because I'm your fiancé! Do you think that I'd be okay if there's always three in our relationship?! Me, you, and her?! Where do I fit into that because it seems like both of you are hogging most of the space."
I was irritated so I said, "Lisa, just drop it! I don't want to argue right now! Can we just go home and not argue along the way?! Today has been heavy enough and you're picking apart the very little patience I have left!"
"And stop including her in your argument! Can't you see that there is already no her in this ever since she got hitched with him?! Can't you see that she isn't going to be in my life anymore?!," I yelled and she grew silent.
Finally, the ride back home was silent yet filled with tears and broken hearts.