Jay
I looked at myself in the mirror with a feeling of relief yet anxiety. It'd taken me way too long to get to this point but today was the day that I was telling Eva that it was over between us. I was relieved that I was making a step towards my future with Bey and Shaq but I was anxious all the same because I didn't know what to expect from Eva and her family (as they were STILL here). The wedding was supposed to be in two days but I wasn't going to wait until we got to the aisle to tell her I didn't want to be with her anymore.
Bey and I's night last night was amazing. The only birthday gift I wanted yesterday was my son and Bey and that was what I thankfully got. They made me see things in a different light and ever since Shaq came into my life I'd become more selfless. Bey was my forever and I couldn't see myself without her but I needed to break things off with Eva for good before I could give Bey what she deserved.
"Yo Jay,"my brother came in with his phone in his hand.
"What is it?"I asked him as I sprayed some cologne.
"Have you spoken to Eva since yesterday?"
"No, why what is it?"he looked at his phone once more and I heard a video playing with voices in the background.
"Have you even checked your phone?"he scoffed.
"Sammy what is it?"
My brother handed me the phone and I saw what he had been watching for the past minute. Eva had uploaded a video on Instagram of a restaurant being set up with the caption:
Wedding Rehearsal for a Carter Wedding💒💍 @shawncarter #myman #december7th
"What the fuck is this?! We never agreed to a damn rehearsal dinner because there was never meant to be one!"I kissed my teeth.
"Jay she's getting a dinner ready and you didn't even know? Don't you think she's doing this because she knows about you and Bey?"he brought up.
"I don't think she could've known but I've fucked up. I was going to tell her today that it's over. Man, if Bey sees this video then we'll go back to square one,"I palmed my face.
"Yeah you have,"he agreed. "Look at our family and tell me we don't deserve a happy ending. We grew up hard, you went to jail instead of college. Don't play yourself like this and don't play my nephew. If you're playing his mama and breaking her heart then how do you think he'll survive in this world with a mom who can't be strong for her and him? Treat her how you'd want a man to treat our baby sister. You know, it took Aliya almost losing her life in that shooting seven years ago to make me realise the hoes I had on the side aren't worth her. Imagine that shit bro. You've already lost her once, don't let it take a life or death situation before you open your eyes. You love that woman to the bones because if you didn't then you would be dressed right now. She's your forever, remember? And don't do this to Eva any longer. You don't want to be responsible for her mental health getting poor because you couldn't be honest,"I listened to every word Sammy said and took it in. He was right and I couldn't do this anymore. I didn't want to lose Beyoncé again and I wanted my family together.
"Thanks man. It's taken me too long to realise that,"I hugged my brother.
"You're my brother and that's what I'm here for, driving your ass into the right direction whenever you fuck up even though I've been meaning to give you a slap round the back of your big head,"we laughed. We heard a knock and Eva's father and Elijah came in.
"Shawn! Are you ready to go to the dinner?"her father frowned. It bewildered me how they were overbearing and didn't think anything of it. I didn't know what Eva told them but I wasn't agreeing to any of this.
"Sir there's something I want to talk to you about,"I uneasily stood up. Leaving Eva wasn't just going to affect us- it had a ripple effect on everybody. "My office?"I led them to my home office. I didn't know why Elijah was in my house but he was Eva's brother so it was best that he heard it too.
"So what is it? Everybody's at the dinner already,"Mr Andrew sat down on the other side of my desk.
"Eva's at the hotel all ready and shit. Your groomsmen ain't even ready to go to the rehearsal,"Elijah piped in.
"I'll always have love for Eva because she's been there for me and I care about her, but I can't marry her. I don't love her anymore,"I told them straight up.
"You just said you love her,"Mr Andrew growled.
"I have love for her but I don't love her sir. I'm sorry but that's the truth, I can't lead her on any more and pretend. I'll tell her myself but y'all are here so I wanted to let you guys know,"I cleared my throat. Mr Andrew chuckled and shook his head.
"You're marrying my daughter, Shawn,"he stated.
"I'm not sir,"I frowned.
"What do you mean you led her on? You lead her on while stringing Beyoncé along too?"Elijah asked.
"Beyoncé's got nothing to do with this,"I bared my teeth.
"You've put my daughter through hell and back Shawn. She's sacrificed a lot of things for you and your ungrateful ass now wants to leave her on her gown two days before the wedding. You're marrying my daughter, end of."
"Mr Andrew, I've done my part and respectfully come to you as a man. You can't force me into marrying her. It's rather I let her know and save her from the hurt in the long run than going into this marriage and hurting her even more,"I got up. I was done talking to them and they couldn't force me. I had to do what I had to do but I wasn't going to be steered into this marriage.
"You're not done, son,"Mr Andrew squinted at me as I saw Elijah pull a gun out and point it at me.
"The fuck?"I spat.
"That's a nice picture of your son,"Mr Andrew gestured to a picture of me, Bey and Shaquille on my desk.
"Don't bring up my son,"I breathed hard.
"But you only just came into his life. You wouldn't want to be taken out of his life by a single bullet. You're marrying my daughter Shawn, or else I'll tell Elijah to pull the trigger and put you in a coffin. Understood?"he threatened me. Mr Andrew got up and adjusted his suit. "I'll see you at the restaurant, son,"he smiled. They both left and I banged my fist on the desk. How did I get myself into this? I was preparing myself to leave Eva but break it down to her but her stepfather wanted to play gangster on me. As much as I wanted to call his bluff, I couldn't risk it because they were playing with my son's life and I had to do what I had to do to keep him from harm.
"Jay? What's going on?"Sammy, Shaq and my boys came in. I looked at my little man as he looked back at me with big brown eyes.
"We've got a dinner to get to. Get dressed,"I instructed them.
Within three hours we'd all gotten ready and arrived at the restaurant. If they were forcing me to marry her then I was taking my time signing my life off to the Culhanes. All I kept on thinking about was Beyoncé and the future that I'd imagined was flashing before my eyes like a runner. I'd let her down again but this time there was no going back because I wasn't about to lose my son.
"Dad,"I heard him whisper as I took a seat next to Eva who was smiling from ear to ear.
"What's up?"I whispered back.
"I love you,"I smiled and chuckled.
"I love you too little man,"I returned the gesture. I looked over at my mom and sister and they were having a conversation amongst themselves.
"Jay we know this isn't what you want but just know we'll always have your back. Forever, right?"Sammy patted my back and my friends agreed.
"Thanks y'all,"I croaked out. The big doors opened and Mr Andrew and Elijah walked in and took their seats. Everybody noticed the scowl on my face and I couldn't even look at Eva because she knew what she'd done. We were so dysfunctional but she still wanted to be with me and I couldn't understand why.
I was deep in my thoughts I didn't notice that Eva was already talking to the guests. I didn't even want to look up because no matter what I did, Mr Andrew and Elijah would be there with their gun and I couldn't lose my son.
"Shawn, do you have anything to say?"I snapped out of my thoughts as Eva asked me.
"I need a minute to myself. Excuse me,"I got up from my seat and walked outside.
Bey would probably never speak to me again after today. She wouldn't even look at me the same and I knew that because I'd given her too many false hopes. We had sex yesterday. Yesterday. I told her that I loved her yesterday. I told her that it was over between me and Eva yesterday. I told her that it was us forever yesterday. It was crazy how in a space of 24 hours, one moment could change your entire life. My dreams of having my little man and woman of my life with me were crushed. This couldn't be how I was meant to live my life. I couldn't live married to Eva because her stepfather and son were threatening my life.
No. I couldn't. Beyoncé meant the world to me and I didn't want to put them at risk but she was worth it. She was worth calling Mr Andrew and Elijah's bluff. Beyoncé was worth it. I'd rather die knowing that I did what I felt was right then live knowing what I did was wrong.
"Shawn? What are you doing?"I looked at Eva as she smiled. She'd followed me outside but I was still angry at her for planning this dinner because then I wouldn't have to tell her with both our families dining inside.
"Why on earth did you plan this dinner in a single day and not even tell me?"
"Shawn you've been distant with me these past few weeks and I did it because I wanted to make sure that you still love me. If I told you about my idea then you'd just find an excuse not to like always,"she defended herself.
"I'm sorry but I can't,"I sighed. From the corner of my eye I could see Mr Andrew approaching us.
"I'm sorry Eva, he's just nervous. L-let's just go back in,"Mr Andrew tried to lie.
"No! You can't control me anymore! If you want to put a gun to my head again then go ahead but I'm not marrying Eva!"I growled.
"What?"Eva cried.
"Now Shawn, you're making a very big mistake. Continue with the dinner,"Mr Andrew lowly dictated.
"I. Don't. Love. Her,"I slowly repeated for him in case he didn't hear me the first time.
"Shawn!"I snapped my head around and Eva was bawling her eyes out.
"I'm sorry, I am, but I can't do this anymore,"I apologised.
"Can we talk about this elsewhere please?"I asked Eva as she held her chest breathing fast.
"Dad,"Shaq pulled my jacket. I didn't even realise that he'd come out alongside my brother, sister and mom.
"What is it?"
"Ma's leaving New York. Like, now,"he whispered.
"Why didn't you tell me before?"I frowned.
"Because now you can go after her and stop her. She didn't want me to tell you but you need to go get her,"he told me. I looked back at Eva who was being consoled by her sister and mother and then back at my son.
"Boy I know you're not seriously thinking about this!"Ma folded her arms.
"Come on, Shaq,"we ran towards the car park and made our way to stop Beyoncé.