"Aphrodite," I plead to the moon-drenched sky,
"Tell me;
if love is meant to heal, then why does it destroy those who choose it?"
From somewhere beyond the clouds, I heard the goddess laugh.
And I knew.
-Nikita Gill, Night Songs to Aphrodite
* * *
I don't think of the similarities the next day as Orion finds me laying there in the woods.
I do feel guilt at the panic I've caused him when his arms circle around me.
"Thank you Goddess..." a sob leaves him as he lifts me and pulls me to him. He buries his face into my shoulder, trying to control his breathing.
"You have her?" It's Grandma's gentle voice. Then Rex's.
Then reality.
I slowly pull away from Orion, letting my hand rest on his cheek.
"I'm sorry."
I stand up, smiling at his worried stare.
"I'm fine."
Orion continues to watch me with worried eyes.
"Soraya."
Grandma softly approaches, taking my hand in hers and feeling my pulse, putting her hand against my forehead, checking other things to make sure there was truth in my words.
I'm still dazed. Dazed enough to believe I'm still in a dream when I look up and see dad.
My gaze stops and freezes on him.
I turn to Grandma, panic rising in me.
"Do you see him also?"
Grandma turns to where I'm pointing and smiles.
"He came last night. They wanted to surprise you but then we couldn't find..."
Dad slowly walks forward, his gaze not leaving mine as he leans to me.
"Soraya...are you okay?"
I blink back my confusion at his question, but Grandma answers it for me in soothing tones.
"She's fine Atlas. It's okay."
Dad pulls back.
"You can walk?"
I nod, starting forward down the path, "I'm fine."
The next few minutes are slow.
Orion holds my arm, a motion that keeps me steady. The events of last night swirl in my head. My mind flinches from them- the pain that they bring. But there is an easing calmness that comes close after.
"Why are you here?"
My words are directed at dad. He knows they are.
He slows down, but there is not enough room on the path to walk side by side with Orion next to me.
"Leo told me you left."
Dad doesn't flinch back or try to defend himself.
He only turns to me, still walking forward as he says, "We'll talk about this with your mom."
"Where is she?"
For the first time I see a smile split on Dad's face, "She's with Tala."
His smile only widens as he looks back at me, "She's beautiful Soraya."
I blush at his words, looking away from him to let my head rest on Orion as we continue walking.
Orion leans forward, his lips whispering the shell of my ear, trying his best to keep our conversation only between the two of us.
"Someone else was with you. I could smell them."
I nod.
Orion does not seem jealous or worried. I smile and grab his hand, squeezing it. His curiosity is there, but he asks no questions about it.
Slowly I take his hand and direct it around my body, pressing it against my curved and twisted back.
His face jerks down to me, startled recognition coming to him as his grey eyes flash to the forest around us.
"It's okay," I whisper.
Orion breaths deeply, moving closer as if he is acting as a shield for me.
We reach the main pack area. I give Rex a grateful smile, glad that we were not met with worried pack members. He had kept my disappearance away from their knowledge.
Nothing seems out of place, but my world has changed since last night.
Entering the house, I feel a smile coming to my face when I see mom holding Tala. I had wondered what this sight would be like- what I would feel when I saw it.
Mom looks up and sighs, her shoulders falling in relief.
I reach past her, extending my hands for Tala.
Mom knows what I want. She gives her to me, without a word.
Rex soon leaves, sensing a tension in the air that makes him go.
I sit down, Orion coming next to me. For a few minutes, there is no one else in the room but the three of us.
Dad breaks our circle though.
"You wanted to know why we were here."
He is sitting next to mom. I didn't even realize that Grandma had left.
It was just the five of us now.
"You left Leo."
Unlike dad, mom does flinch at my words. I see the effect they have. She still has a nervous tension around her- her painted hands fidgeting restlessly at her side.
Dad stands his ground.
"We knew Leo was safe. He had many people supporting him."
"So you just decided to leave?"
Dad reaches his hand out, grabbing mom's to stop their nervous energy. They finally become still.
"We were looking for Vincent."
Orion and I both look up at his words.
Dad gives us a sad smile.
"I already said it. Leo had many people to support him. You were settled in your new pack...you have Orion..."
Mom smiles up at Dad, "it was time we found him."
"But you didn't."
Her smile falls.
"No." Dad watches mom closely as he continues speaking, "we never found him. We thought he came here...it's where I tracked his scent...."
Dad turns to me, a question in his eye.
He wants to ask. Maybe not in front of mom. But he wants to ask.
To our surprise, Mom speaks out, "he was here last night."
I turn to her in shock, but her face has fallen in grief at her own words.
"He was here," she whispers.
"Are you going to follow him?"
Dad's eyes follow back and forth between mom and I. He focuses on mom when she shakes her head.
"I think..." she looks up at Dad, "I don't think we'll ever find him."
Dad's face falls as he watches mom.
"I'm glad we followed him here though," she looks at me to smile as I gently rock Tala in my arms.
"I'm sorry we were gone Soraya...Orion...but we're back."
"Daisy told us about Leo," Dad whispers.
I stare at them. My parents.
They seemed so defeated. So crushed at that moment. It almost seemed as if they were coming to me for rest. Coming and hoping for some relief. Some forgiveness.
I want to tell them the truth about everything. All these secrets that are held inside me. What Vincent did. What I did. What he said. What I said.
But I don't.
Their worn out faces tell me that if Vincent wanted them to know, he would have told them.
They would know.
The same as how if I wanted them to know the truth, I would have told them the real cause for my injury.
I look down at Tala, and wonder silently if there would be any secrets, she held from me in the future. The words we kept from our loved ones.
Would that make them feel better?
I reflect back to Vincent's words.
I could blame that girl. That nameless girl.
I could blame dad, for whispering words about him behind closed doors.
For Vincent as he listened to them.
I could blame myself.
I could blame one.
Or all.
Or...
I look at mom and dad and sigh, rising to cross the room and stare down at Dad.
He looks defensive. He looks on edge as if he expected me to lash out at any moment.
"Would you like to hold her?"
He can't hide the surprise in his eyes.
Slowly, hesitantly, he reaches out for Tala.
I watch as he takes her in his arms, a slow smile spreading across his face.
He looks up at me, and something close to tears are in his eyes.
Maybe...
I could be imagining it all.
But I don't imagine his words as he leans close to Tala and whispers, "This time we'll do better."
Mom sighs with me.
This time we'll do better.
I have...no words to describe how grateful I am feeling right now.
Two years ago I started the Moon Child series as just a blind thought one day of a woman who came to my mind who wandered around and had white hair- who claimed to be moon blessed. I never NEVER would have expected the journey to take me this far with the addition of two more stories...
For those who have stuck with me until the end...
Thank you.
You are the ones who encouraged me and helped me take that leap of faith into continuing. Without you, I could not have had the heart to pursue this. These characters, these stories, would not be here, if not for you.
So again, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for reading, and most of all, thank you for believing in me.
(Legit crying this is no joke- urgh THE SERIES IS OVER AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE). I love you guys so much, words just can't express it- there are some things a writer will never be able to convey and I think this is one of them.
I'm going to stop here before this turns into a long long post...
So I'll conclude with the words that all stories must eventually say-
The End.