I stood up from the bed feeling the white sheets move against my skin. Jackson was still sound asleep, his back towards me.
The scratches from my figernails digging on his skin last night were now red and some of them were even with some dry blood.
I lifted myself up and walked towards the mirror sitting at the end of the bed. Bruises all over my skin, specially on my hips. Hickeys on my neck and small bites on my shoulder
I looked back to the bed and crawled again towards him. I wrapped my arms around his torso and snuggled up to his back making him move so I could fit right back
He then put his hand on top of mine and caressed it a little while moaning lowly
We stood there like that for a few more moments until he scooted away to turn his body towards me. He then pushed me back to his chest and kissed the top of my head "I love you"
I smiled slightly "I love you too" was what I simply answered
I ended up falling asleep again only to wake up to an empty bed. I looked around for a few minutes feeling confused until I finally remembered the events of last night. I sat up and reached down to the chair where Jackson had put is yesterday shirt. I put it on along with my panties and walked out of the room only to see it all empty
"Jackson?.." I asked around the apartment but with no success.. he wasn't home
I walked up to the bathroom and washed my face so I could wake up a little more. I was dreading to turn on my phone, scared of what people might think and do.
So I placed it on the small island of the kitchen and sat back on the couch. I was worried about where Jackson might be.. I couldn't call him and I still didn't know my way around Hong Kong, so I was really stuck
Stuck to ice cream and TV since they were the only things I had that actually sounded nice
That is until I heard the code go off and the door open. "I'm back" he stated as I heard ruffles of plastic bags
He closed the door and took of his shoes "Where did you go?" I blurted out without thinking
He looked up at me and froze for a second just like I did. I was so scared he was still mad at me from exposing us. I was so scared he wanted to leave me now
"I.. I-hum.. I went out to get food" he mumbled passing by me, cutting the eye contact. I followed him to the kitchen in silence "didn't you get my message?"
I took a deep breath "I don't want to turn on my phone" was all I said looking at him but he was still avoiding my gaze
I hated this
"Jackson, please yell at me.." I mumbled
He stopped moving his bags and placed the one he had on his hands down on the counter
I looked up to see him still not staring at me
"Anything is better than you ignoring me, please.."
He cleared his throat and opened the food "I'm not ignoring you"
I looked away... sure you aren't.. you just can't fucking look at my face. That's not ignoring at all
"Everything is fine Haeju, really.." he assured but I wasn't having it
"Say that to my eyes then" I mumbled crossing my arms and leaning into the island
"What do you mean?"
"You can't even look at my face Jackson" I answered looking up again to see him run away from my gaze yet again "See?"
He rolled his eyes and shook his head "It's not because of that" he answered back "I'm not mad anymore about the Instagram post. Actually, I'm glad you did it. The only thing I was mad about was the fact that you did it without my permission" he chuckled pucking up the food again and moving it towards the other counter
"Then what's wrong?.. what did I do?"
"You did nothing wrong babe.." he chuckled looking down at the two plates he just took out of the shelf
"Then look at me and hug me and kiss me and tell me everything is fine like that" I asked seeing no action that was going to indicate he had an intention of doing so "see? You can't"
He sighed and turned his head finally meeting my eyes. He bit his lip for a second and then looked back down towards his food "Let's eat"
I looked away feeling the tears threatening to come to my eyes.. this is it I fucked it up for good.
"I don't want to fucking eat"
"Haeju.."
A silence installed in between us before he sighed and walked towards me, probably seeing that I was about to cry
"Babe.."
"I'm sorry Jackson, I didn't want to upset you I didn-"
"I know babe, calm down" was all he said while hugging me "I told you I am not mad"
"But you are.. I can see it in your face.. you-"
"I'm not babe, I just.." he sighed tucking a strand of hair behind my ear "I'm sorry" he mumbled looking down at my neck. He softly caressed my skin "I didn't want to hurt you and.. I guess I feel like I did.." he explained but my brain wasn't quite understanding what he was talking about. My brain only processed it all when he said "They look so ugly.. I'm sorry"
I looked down finally understanding what he was on about and then looked back up "Jackson a-are you serious?" I asked making sure he wasn't just making fun of my face
He looked up and I could see the guilt on his face and how scared he also was "I thought you were gonna scold me fo-"
"I liked it Jackson" I confessed in a breath. His eyes widened at my confession
He opened his mouth but obviously got stuck "I.. I.. You we-.."
I shook my head and surely blushed while chuckling since his face truly was funny..
"I wasn't expecting you to answer that" he replied back while I hugged him as he stood there frozen
"Your face is so precious right now" I chuckled again against his shirt
Something clicked in my brain when he hugged me back. I started sobbing against his chest "I'm sorry, I want us to be happy Jackson, I did it for us to be together, not to break us apart" I mumbled between sobs
He hugged me tighter and kissed the side of my neck "Baby, we're together, calm down"
"I just... I love you so much and I really don't want to lose you for good.. th-"
"Babe, calm down.. please" he calmly asked firmly holding my cheeks and looking in between our eyes, a small smile on his lips "We're in this together okay?" He smiled kissing my lips quickly
"I am so scared Jackson" I cried
"Babe, calm down" he simply replied sitting down on the stool without letting my hands go "We're not breaking up over this babe.. you and I are not breaking up for a thing we both wanted" he chuckled pulling my hands together "Sure I didn't like you going on my Instagram and posting things without my permission.. and really, never do that again" he warned me as I shook my head "But I see that you talked with Jinyoung-nim, I saw the statement that they let out.. that was the thing I was scared the most"
"I would never do anything to jeopardize your career, you know that Jackson.. I just.. I needed to do it alone"
"Why without me? Explain to me"
"I just felt like.. if it was you you'd make a big deal out of it or do it in a way that I didn't like.. I felt like I'd chicken out, I don't know.. I'm so scared Jackson, I didn't even pick up my phone, I don't want to be scared, this wasn't-.. we were supposed to be happy about showing eachother off.. not.."
I started to sob uncontrollably again so he pulled me back into his arms "Calm down baby.. I know.. It breaks my heart to see you cry, you know that" he mumbled kissing my shoulder "I'm not leaving you Haeju, but you have to promise to not do that again.." he mumbled softly caressing my back
"I'm sorry.. It was wrong and I know it.. I'm sorry, I'll never do it again" I replied back hugging him tighter
"Come on babe, we gotta eat, the food is getting cold" he spoke lowly, pulling away to wipe my tears
"Are you sure you're not mad?.. are we okay?"
He smiled softly "I was mad for a while, but I know you didn't do it carelessly like I thought you did.. I know it was just you not thinking straight" he explained pecking my lips
"I'm sorry" I whispered making him peck my lips again
He pouted at me before leaning again while pulling my hair back "I love you princess" he adorably told me leaning again go peck my lips
"I love you too.. too much" I mumbled making him smile adorable and pulling me back to another kiss