"I know what you're doing"
"I don't know what you're talking about" the fact that he'd answered so fast only solidified his suspicions.
"You're trying to piss me off" Max said observing Zander's reaction "All those things you ordered back at the store and now this food. You're doing it to see if I'll get angry at you" at that he looked up "You are my son and I've missed out on so many years of your life. I'll gladly buy you anything that's reasonable. If you want to order all the food in the menu, go ahead. I don't mind"
"You can buy me anything I want but I still won't like you" Zander said with so much conviction that Max felt as if someone had plunged a knife into his heart. How was it possible that his only son hated him with such intensity? As each second passed, he was aware of the time he wasn't spending with him. There was timer in his head that kept moving reminding him that this was yet another minute spent without knowing his boy.
It made him wonder if Zander had been a girl would things be different? Boys protected their mothers. It was how all men were wired. And girls were their father's pride. So if Zander had been a girl would this be any easier? The answer was no. The boy in front of him had lived his whole life without knowing who his father was. It would take time and a lot of effort for the two of them to come to an understanding. He also wouldn't trade him for anything, even for a little girl with black hair and brown eyes. Although, he wouldn't say no to that either. He'd give anything to have more children with Emilia.
They still had chemistry. That kiss back at the store had jolted him back to reality. It was as if he'd been living in the imagination world for so long, always picturing how perfect his family would be if she hadn't left, that the second their lips touched, he woke up. He realized that he did have a family and although they weren't as close as he wanted they were still perfect. They also needed time to adjust to this new life. All of a sudden Zander had a father, he had a son and Emilia was back with her husband. For them to be normal, they all needed a little time. Max was sure that eventually his son would warm up to him. His wife on the other hand.....
Emilia was confusing. One second she was kissing another man and the next she was in his arms, kissing him like he was her world. God, how he'd missed kissing her. In his arms she was everything he'd ever wanted. For a moment there, the nine years she'd been gone had disappeared and it was like she never left. Because that was what they always did. Get carried away and forgetting where they were. As newly weds, someone had to tear them apart, reminding them that they were in public.
Back at the store it had felt like they were newly weds who couldn't keep their hands off each other. How long would it take for them to go back to how they were? Weeks? Months? Or was their relationship over? He refused to believe that they were done with each other. He'd found her first and if for one second he thought that she still loved him, he'd fight for her. It didn't matter if she already had a boyfriend. He was her husband. There was no way he would be the one to take a step back.
"I'm not trying to buy your feelings Zander. I know that we keep clashing because you think I'm out to hurt your mother but believe me, no matter how much we argue I would never hurt Emilia. Never"
"But you're always fighting with her"
"I know. We haven't seen each other in a long time. We've changed and that's why we keep arguing over the smallest things. That doesn't mean I don't love her. Grown ups argue all the time. Don't you know?"
"You really love my mother?"
Max blinked. He'd said that? "I... Uh..... I..."
"Stop stuttering and answer the question Max. Do you love me?" Emilia asked sitting down. Her smug face indicated that she had heard what they were talking about. How long had she been standing there? Max looked from mother to son then back. They were both looking at him waiting for him to answer them. Only problem was that he didn't want to tell her he still loved her.
She'd just come back. If she knew he still had feelings for her then what would she do? Accept them? Or use them against him? Every time he laid eyes on her, he had to remind himself that she was engaged. He didn't know how long he had before she slapped him with divorce papers. How long until she left again? No. He wasn't going to confess his feelings just for her to throw them in his face. He'd already embarrassed himself by thinking they could still be a family. Telling her that he loved her was equal to begging her to come back to him. Max Carter had never begged anyone in his life. And he wasn't about to start then.
"I don't remember...."
"Your food sir, ma'am" the waiter appeared at that moment, placing their plates in front of them. Behind them was another waiter pushing a trolley full of food towards them. Since Zander was the one who ordered all of it, Max decided to let him fix his problem. To his right Emilia stared wide eyed at all that food then slowly her expression changed to pissed.
"Are you kidding me?" she hissed. Not wanting to interfere, he bowed his head to concentrate on his food but when Zander didn't answer, he was forced to look up only to find both their eyes on him.
"What, you're talking to me? What did I do?"
"I thought you talked to him Max"
"I did"
"Then why is all this food here?"
"I don't know" he shrugged then leaned back on his chair when he saw her grabbing a fork. Jesus, she wasn't going to stab him with it. Was she? They were in a restaurant full of people, families. They were all witnesses. Surely she wouldn't kill him in front of all those witnesses. But then again, wasn't he the one who had tried to strangle her yesterday in front of all his guests?
"You don't know?"
"Mom..."
"You shut up. Where do you think all that food is going to go?"
"I'm sorry"
"Is your sorry going to eat all that?"
"No. But..."
"Zip it. I don't want to hear it. Both of you start eating before I really lose it"
"Yes ma'am" Zander said.
"I think we should... Ow" he squeaked. Did his son just kick him under the table? Looking up, Zander shook his head no. Telling him not to give out any suggestions. He wondered why he wasn't allowed to speak but more than that, he wondered how one person could look so much like him but act like another person.
Zander had inherited his physical traits but when it came to his mannerisms, he was so much like his mother. The way he ate, separating tomatoes from the rest of his food and using his left hand to eat even though he wasn't really left handed. The little things he'd noticed about Emilia when he'd first met her, Zander had inherited them. It made him wonder what else his son had gotten from them. All of a sudden sadness washed over him. He thought of all the years he'd missed, the things he still didn't know about Zander. It wasn't fair that he hadn't been able to see his son grow. And now that his mother had a fiance, would she take him away when she got married?
He wasn't going to let that happen. This time he was going to fight tooth and nail to be near his son. He wouldn't take Emilia to court but if it came to that, he also wouldn't hesitate. He had every right to watch Zander grow. Clearing his throat he said "Let's give it to the homeless on our way home. We can have the waiter pack it up for us then distribute it"
"Good thinking" Emilia snapped and went back to eating her food. Max sighed.
"Why are you so angry? I'm the one paying for all this food. Don't you think I should be the one overreacting?"
"You think I'm overreacting?"
"Yes. It's just.... Ow, stop it Zander"
"Then stop trying to make her angrier"
"I'm not. I just gave her a suggestion on how to clean up your mess. You should be thanking me instead of kicking me under the table"
"Thank you so much dad" he retorted and went back to eat. Max froze. Dad. He'd called him dad for the first time and all he could do was stare because he'd lost his ability to talk. How long had he wished to hear someone address him as dad?
"I.... You just... " another kick. This one from Emilia. She shook her head no and somehow he understood what she was saying. If he pointed out that Zander had called him dad, it might make him aware that he was letting his guard down. Then in the future he might be careful of what he said. Max didn't want that. He wanted to hear Zander call him dad everyday. So he followed Emilia's advice and kept his mouth shut.
On their way home, they gave the food to every homeless person they came across. By the time they got to the Carter mansion, the only thing they'd been left with were some burgers and that was because Zander had refused to give them away. Apparently when it came to his appetite, he'd taken after his uncle Darren. They both ate like pigs. Max dropped them off at the front door, then went to park the car in the garage. As he was leaving, he bumped into Lisandra.
"Hey babe, where were you?"
"That's none of your business" he told her walking towards the back door and felt irritated when she followed him. He didn't want anything to do with her especially since he and Emilia had had a wonderful afternoon. They made progress today.
"You're still grumpy? Come on Max, I understand that you didn't want to go out with me. So can we please stop fighting?"
"We're not fighting Lisandra"
"Really?" she grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. When she ran her nails down his back, he ground his teeth together "I miss you so much baby. You haven't made love to me in a long time" she said rubbing her breasts against his chest.
"I'm not in the mood" he tried to push her away but she wouldn't budge.
"I can get you in the mood Max" he stood still as she ran her hand up and down on his groin. He wanted her to know that her charms didn't work on him anymore but Emilia chose to walk in at that moment. To her it looked like he was entertaining his mistress in the kitchen. Max inwardly cursed while pushing Lisandra away from him.
"Em it's not what....."
"Throwing yourself at my husband again Lisa?" she asked cutting him off. Her tone didn't portray anger or any kind of feeling. She was calm and that irritated Max further. Why wasn't she jealous or angry or something? She kept saying that he was her husband but her actions contradicted her words. Did she not feel anything for him?
"Are you jealous that he loves me more than he does you?" Lisandra taunted. The right thing to do would be to stop her but he also wanted to know if his wife was jealous.
"I find you pathetic my friend. Forcing yourself on someone who doesn't want you. Tell me something, how long does it take you to get him excited?" it took him a minute to realize what she had asked. And then he didn't know whether to laugh or be mad.
"Unlike you, one touch is all Max needs from me" at that he scoffed. One touch? It was more like a hundred or a thousand. When Emilia laughed, he realized that he'd said that out loud.
Crap.
Now Lisandra was staring daggers at him. He took a step back, clearing his throat "I'm going to take a shower"
"Take Lisa with you and while you're at it think of me. Maybe that would speed up the process" Emilia said sarcastically. He stared at her wondering if she knew the kind of effect she had on him. Did she know that even though he had done his best not to, he still thought of her whenever he was with another woman?
It was something he hated but couldn't control. She was always on his mind even when he didn't want to admit it. And at that moment, he would have given anything for her to be the one in the shower with him. It didn't matter if he looked weak or pathetic. He wanted her. It was as simple as that. Taking a cup of milk, she walked past him saying "Now that there's a child in this house, I suggest you keep your extracurricular activities behind closed doors. I don't want my son to walk in on you two doing..... Whatever it is you do when you're alone"
Angry that she wasn't the least bit jealous he grabbed her arm "Our son Em. Ours"
"Mine, yours, ours, what difference does it make? I'd like to preserve his innocence as much as I can so please find another place to be with your mistress"
"She is not my mistress"
"Then who is she?"
Max stopped. Who was Lisandra to him? A play toy would have been the right word to describe her but he didn't want to disrespect her. After all she had been there for him when Emilia had left. He didn't have to have feelings for her to be grateful. Whatever her motives, she'd supported him. "She's my friend"
"Friend?" they both asked. Emilia with a sarcastic voice and Lisandra with an angry tone.
"Your friend Max? Really?"
"Is that milk for Zander?" he asked trying to distract her. It worked because she left quickly. He would have followed her had he not seen Lisandra's face. She was crying. And since he wasn't heartless, he decided to clear things up with her. Maybe she had misunderstood his actions in the past nine years. It was also his fault because he never really defined what was going on between them but it should have been clear. He was a married man. Which meant she was the other woman. No matter what way he put it, he was still going to hurt. Better do it now than later.
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