Songs that inspired me for this chapter:
From The Dining Table by Harry Styles
Empty by Olivia O'Brien
Enjoy :)
PRESENT DAY
I woke with a start and immediately sat up to the sound of car doors slamming shut and voices outside.
Fuck, I pushed my tangled hair out of my face and rubbed at my temples trying to ease the familiar pounding headache.
The voices grow louder and I quickly stood to my feet when I hear a particular small voice and tiny footsteps running around downstairs. Shit shit shit. I look down at myself and realize I'm not wearing anything, what the fuck? I don't remember taking my clothes off...
Ugh. I throw on my wrinkled up clothes from last night and begin cleaning up the empty and half empty booze bottles lying around and brush off the white powder residue on the small table. I hide the bong I recently bought and also hide the stash of weed inside my dresser drawer. Damn, I don't remember going this hard last night. But judging by the way my room looks, the pounding in my head and my aching body, I'm guessing I went all out.
I must've blacked out at some point in the middle of night because I don't remember much of anything, the only thing I do remember is arriving at the club and alcohol but after that there's nothing.
A sigh escapes my lips as I run my hands down my face as I go to make my bed but when I turn around my eyes widen and my heart begins to slam against my chest at the sight.
Golden tanned shoulders peek out from under the white blanket. Long dark brown hair covers the feminine face and the sharp jawline looks so familiar it's almost painful.
"Ca–"
I almost say the name I hadn't spoken in 6 years but when the girl rolls over I realize it's not her. This girl doesn't have a button nose, hers is straight and narrow, she doesn't have curved pink lips, hers are stained red with smeared lipstick and she has smudged eyeliner at the corners of her eyes.
Disgust and annoyance fills me that I picked up a random girl from the club last night when I had no intention of doing so, but it's a feeling I'm all too familiar with.
I tug on the ends of blanket until hazel eyes open up and reveal themselves to me. The girl smiles and stretches her arms while sitting up, not caring at all that she's completely naked. I shake my head and hand her the clothes she wore last night.
"Good morning babe," the girl grins and I cringe inwardly at the pet name turning around to give her privacy while she gets dressed.
I remain quiet and clean up a little bit more around my room not wanting to give her any signs that I want her to stay. I really hope she's not the clingy type and will be gone by the time I turn around, I'm not in the mood to deal with crazy right now.
"So." The girl spoke from behind me. Fuck. "I was wondering if you wanted to get breakfast or if I could get your number..?"
I turn to face her and thankfully she's dressed but her eyes are full of hope as she holds her heels in her hand waiting for me to say something. But what do I have to say? I don't even know this chick and I don't want to either. The only thing I want is for her to fucking leave.
"It's 1 pm," I point out with a bored tone glancing at the clock on my night stand. "So you should go 'cause I'm not interested."
The girl frowned and crossed her arms.
Great, here we go.
"You seemed pretty interested in me last night," she mocks my tone. "You're the one who insisted we come back to your place and have our own party."
"Listen," I started off annoyed as fuck. "I don't care about what happened last night because I don't even remember it. So you must've not been that memorable."
The girl gasps clearly offended but I don't give a shit and continue anyway, "So take your shit and get the hell out."
"You're a fucking bitch, you know that?" she said angrily.
"You should know you're not the first girl to say that and definitely not the last."
Her hazel eyes are filled with so much anger and hatred that I found it amusing as I walked over to the bedroom door.
I gave her my best smile and I held it open for her, "Bye."
The girl huffed and stormed out of the room but not before pushing my shoulder roughly with her free hand. Given I'm still half drunk, I almost fall over and I honestly can't help but laugh as I close the door behind her.
Running both hands through my hair, I shake my head. Oh god, what a great way to start my morning. A shower sounds really good right now.
I walk over to my closet and begin pulling out fresh clothing when the bedroom door bursts open. I turn around and almost started yelling, thinking it's the dumb bitch from a few minutes ago probably trying to fight me. It wouldn't be the first time.
But I immediately stop myself and crouch down with a wide grin on my face.
"Auntie Lolo! Auntie Lolo!" The little cutie jumps into my arms and wraps her small arms around my neck.
I kiss her chubby light brown cheek, "Hey my little Liyah."
Aaliyah pulls back with a frown on her adorable face and plugs her little nose.
"Auntie Lolo you stink!" The 5 year old giggled loudly when I gasp in shock playfully. I know she's right though I'm still wearing my nasty clothes from last night and the fact I can smell them just by wearing it, that's when I know it's bad. I smell like shit.
"I was gonna take a bath but someone," I poke her belly causing her to giggle. "Interrupted me."
"Sorry," She leans her small body into me and I chuckle quietly when one of the little space buns on her head collided with my eye. "Can you play with me, Auntie Lolo?"
"I gotta take a bath, Liyah." I really do.
Her bottom lip pops out making me "Aw" internally at how freaking adorable she is.
"Nobody wants to play with me!" She says sadly making me feel bad automatically. "I asked your friend if she wanted to play with me but she didn't listen, she just left! Auntie Lolo why do all of your friends leave?"
"Umm.." I'm at a total loss for words not knowing at all what to tell my 5 year old niece about the random girls, who's names I don't know, that leave without ever coming back.
Your auntie is a bit of a whore so the girls that leave are only one night stands who don't mean shit.
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and avoid the big chestnut eyes that are waiting for my response. "Umm well Liyah.."
"Yeah Lauren, explain to my daughter why your friends always leave in the morning and never come back?"
My eyes shoot up to the door and I smile sheepishly at my best friend who leans against the door frame with a smug expression on her face.
"Hi mommy!" Aaliyah squeals happily waving to her mother.
"Hi baby what are you doing?"
Aaliyah leans further into me, "I asked Auntie Lolo to play with me and then I asked why all of her friends leave and never want to play with me."
My niece is honestly so damn lucky I love her and that she's cute or I'd tell her and her mom to shut up about my "friends" leaving.
"Well Liyah," I start again and glance over at Normani who is pursing her lips trying not to laugh. I sigh. "Sometimes in life when you get older, you and your friends will grow apart because life gets in the way."
"What does that mean?" She curiously asked.
"It means that life will take you in completely different directions whether you like it or not, so your friends will go in one direction while you go the opposite and you will lose touch and might never see each other again. It's not always a bad thing but the good thing is, is that if your friendship used to be strong then when you meet up again it'll be like time never passed."
Aaliyah made a thoughtful expression and lets go of my strand of hair.
"Oh okay."
Yep, that went through one ear and out the other.
I chuckled giving her a big kiss on the cheek that made her giggle as I stood up.
"Auntie Lolo can you please please please come play with me?" Aaliyah asked so dramatically I had to try my hardest not to laugh, since according to Normani that when I do, it only "encourages" her daughters naughty behavior.
"Liyah I told you I need to take a bath," I tell her my tone serious.
"But please!"
I glance over at Normani giving her the signal to come get her daughter. I consider Aaliyah as my own flesh and blood but since she's not my daughter, I don't want to yell at her, it's not really my place.
"Aaliyah Michelle," Normani spoke loudly making her daughter cower slightly next to me. Aw now I feel bad. This sucks. "Your Auntie told you that she needs to take a bath, so leave her alone right now and maybe she will play with you later."
"Okay mommy." Aaliyah's little shoulders drop as she drags her feet towards the door with her head hung low. She's so dramatic I swear, she's the perfect combination of both her parents.
"Liyah, we can throw rocks in the pond later," I tell her feeling bad that she got in trouble. Aaliyah whipped around the gloomy look on her face is now nowhere to be found. Little faker.
"Really?!" She nearly shouts. "Can you teach me to skip rocks like you?"
I laugh, "Yes I'll show you."
"Aaliyah," Normani pipes in. "Let your auntie take a bath and go downstairs to help your daddy with the groceries."
"Yes mommy!" With that, my little niece sprinted out the door leaving her mother and I alone.
"Well," Normani chuckled. "The girl that left looked oddly familiar."
"Really? She was just some random girl from last night," I tell her honestly. Still not able to recall her name. Rachel? Kendall? Nope, no idea. And I don't care.
"Oh, well it seems like you have a pretty certain type, Lo."
I chuckle narrowing my eyes at her trying to figure out what she's trying to get at.
"What, hot?"
Normani shakes her head and walks around my room looking around until she's standing in front of me with her arms crossed.
"Yeah hot I guess," she shrugged. "But it's a type that resembles someone. Like maybe Cami–"
"Don't fucking say it Mani," I cut her off feeling my blood begin to boil. She almost said the name that used to make my heart flutter but now only makes my skin crawl.
Normani's expression softens and eyes fill with sympathy making me roll my own and cross my arms over my chest.
"Listen Lo," Normani started softly. "We've been back in Miami for 3 months now and almost every night you're getting fucked up and bringing random ass girls home. It's almost like we're back on the road."
There's a pause and it's probably because she's waiting for me to say something but I don't. I just stare at my bare feet and gnaw at the inside of my cheek not knowing what to say at all.
"Devon and I appreciate you letting the three of us move into your grandmothers home with you while we try to find a place of our own." I open my mouth to object, I don't mind them staying here with me forever to be honest. It's better than being alone.
Normani holds up a motherly hand and continues. "Aaliyah is a smart girl, almost too smart for her age. She's gonna start picking up on things and we cant allow you to expose our daughter to your random hook ups, the drinking and the drug use anymore."
"Drug use?" I respond not being able to hold my tongue like a dumbass.
She gave me a pointed look and I shrunk under her gaze.
"Lauren I'm not an idiot okay?" She exasperated. "I can see the cocaine smears on your table and how fucking dilated your pupils are right now, it smells like weed in here and you literally reek of liquor!"
I advert my gaze. Fuck my life, I know she's right and I hate it. Being back in Miami after so many years has been fucking with head since we crossed the state border. I want to retaliate against Normani and tell her not to be such a fucking hypocrite since she used to do the same shit I'm doing but I don't.
"You're right," I admit taking a deep breath. I can't keep acting this way in front of my niece. I'm still gonna do my thing just not here where she can see. "I'm sorry for acting so crazy it's just..."
Normani sighed and took a step forward and uncrossed my arms to pull me into a hug I didn't know I needed.
"I know Lo," she said quietly. "Just know that you'll always have Devon and I to help you out or be there for you when you need to talk. Always."
I pull back and give a small smile, "Thanks Mani. I appreciate you guys, and Liyah too."
"That reminds me," Normani snapped her fingers. "On Wednesday is Liyah's first day of school at Parkway Elementary, can you take her?"
I raise a brow. "Why can't you?"
"I'm meeting up with a modeling agent from Forever 21 and one from Pacsun to do a photo shoot," She replied. "Nathan said he'd give them a heads up when we come down here and they finally called me yesterday to meet up Wednesday and to talk about future shoots."
"Oh and Devon also starts working morning shifts tomorrow for extra hours, so he can't either."
I nod trying to process it all. My friends have their lives together and here I am. Pretty much a bum, living off of money I have left over and my grandmothers retirement money at the age of 24.
When we were on the road and we lived in a bunch of states, only staying a few months or weeks in each one. Our first destination was Las Vegas for a week. Then we went to California for a month and then Colorado for 9 months.
The four of us left Colorado together and bounced around. Pretty driving through each state, staying here and there from months on end. After a year of Lucy and I hooking up and being on and off, she decided to go back to Colorado and start a life for herself. It was hard for me because Lucy was there for me after the shit I left behind in Miami. She was my rebound at first, I guess you could say, and that's what Devon and Normani had said. But it slowly turned into genuine feelings over time, after all the games we played.
In the end, I didn't want to hold her back from pursuing her dreams and let her go.
After that, the longest place we stayed in was New York and I loved it. I loved the city life. It was a breath of fresh air for me, and I truly felt like I could have started a life there if I would have tried. If I would have stuck with pushing out art piece after art piece and stayed at the art gallery I called home, and kept on with the modeling gigs I was offered.
But I gave up on them. Like I did everything else throughout the years, and not finishing high school really bit me in the ass with trying to find a job.
Normani didn't have to worry about that though. Three months of living in New York, we bumped into a modeling agent when we both were working at a coffee shop trying to make ends meet at the time. He offered Normani a gig that would pay well, it seemed sketchy at first and that's why I tagged along. The next thing I knew the photographer wanted me to get in the pictures. At the end of the shoot, we both left with a $600 check each.
Nathan became Normani's agent after that, he was mine too technically. We were thriving in the amount of money that came in so quickly. Several months into it, Normani had found out she was pregnant and that set back her modeling career almost a year. After Aaliyah was born, Devon worked from job to job providing for his daughter and Normani. While I kept on with Nathan to continue rolling in money.
There was one shoot that Devon participated in with me for Hollister. He made $500 out of it, that was after all the moaning and groaning he did from having to change outfits so many times.
It was fun for me at first, especially with all the hot girls that were always on set, it was fucking great. But after Normani came back into the limelight and Nathan said Normani and I had to walk down a runway... I dipped.
Of course I tagged along to each shoot and runway show, to support my best friend and be a part time babysitter for my cute niece. But also for the great after parties that floated with drinks and girls. So many girls, I was literally swimming in them. I didn't even know their names and they didn't bother to ask for mine which made it even easier.
We were lavishing in money at the ages of 20 and 21. Normani was doing shoot after shoot that she was able to provide a condo for us to live in since she made a name for herself in the modeling world. Devon took on the job of Normani's agent partially, always making sure she was taken care of and got the best treatment, he stayed by her side through it all and we both took turns looking after Aaliyah throughout the shoots.
I got involved with my art again after so many years. That's where I found my place in an art gallery, I became close friend's with the owner and he said I could put up my own pieces. I had no professional experience but once people started to ask how much I'd sell my stuff for, that's when things started to go my way and our family thrived even more.
Things got messy towards the end, my constant partying, the three of us working non stop. Normani and Devon struggling to take care of Aaliyah who was growing up too fast and was going to have to start school soon. Lucy would pop in and out of my life. Every time I would get used to her being gone, she'd show up out of nowhere then just leave.
The last time she left, she opened an old wound that I needed to fill with something, to be able to feel again. My life had spun out of control and I got mixed in with bad people, with drug deals that were bigger than me. People that were bigger and way out of my league. It was the last straw for me, it was then the three of us came to the conclusion we needed to leave.
So we came back to Miami.
"So will you?" Normani's voice cut through my thoughts and my eyes focused back on her curious ones waiting for my response.
I nodded, "Yeah I'll take her for you."
"Sweet thanks Lo," she smiled giving me a hug once more. I chuckled returning it.
"Did you and the husband sign all the paper work and everything for her registration?"
I hold in a laugh at the way she rolls her eyes when I emphasize husband. It has always annoyed her, even when her and Devon were only friends and now after being a couple for over 4 years. It's still so funny to me.
"First of all he hasn't even purposed yet so shut up with the whole husband shit," she said trying to hide her smile. "And second, yes we did. It was a fight for sure since we didn't enroll her in any school back in New York other than day care. The principal finally agreed to letting her start first grade and since I win every argument, she starts Wednesday."
I shake my head amused that she was able to convince the principal to let Aaliyah into first grade after not even going to kindergarten. Like Normani had said before, my niece is a really smart girl. Too smart, almost. When she was 3 and 4 years old I spent most of my time at the art gallery. So I'd bring Aaliyah with me during the day and we'd go up to my own little studio in the attic. I taught her how to read and write, add and subtract with the little work books I bought for her. Since she has spent the majority of her life with adults, she caught on fast and learned quickly to literally almost everything. When she was in daycare she clearly outshined the kids her age by her knowledge and large vocabulary and how outgoing she is.
I laughed as she began to head downstairs with a smug look on her face.
"You met with her teacher right?" I called out to her in the doorway.
"Yeah I did, she's uh... nice."
"Okay," I scoffed, suddenly confused at her sudden change in tone. It made me worry a little bit. Hopefully her teacher isn't some 65 year old bitch. "What's her name?"
Normani faced me and shrugged grasping the door handle in her hand.
"Something with a C, I think."
I rolled my eyes at the useless information she gave me and chuckled. "Gee thanks for being so helpful mom."
"No problem," she winked then closed the door.
***
Thank you for reading :)
COMMENT AND VOTE!
-Victoria