[ 04. the other side of heaven ]
J E O N G G U K
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When the doorbell rings, Jeongguk half expects it to be a package, but the second he opens the door he instantly freezes on the spot realizing it's not a package but a family.
Kim Taehyung and his family, to be exact.
Jeongguk swallows uneasily, his irises darting between the older man who seems to be in his forties on Taehyung's right and Rachel Kim, the woman clad in a more professional, conservative dress than what he has saw her in earlier. In the middle is Taehyung, and by the looks of it, is more put together than he was, his sandy locks properly combed and attire a simple white-button up and black slacks.
They look out of place in the suburbs, each member of the family exerting a particular sense of authority. It's different than the typical friendliness and warmth the locals present, yet somehow it's just as inviting - powerful - in an city businessman way, and with one teasing smirk from Taehyung, Jeongguk feels a chill ripple beneath his skin.
"Is this the Jeons' home?" The tallest man who looks much older flashes Jeongguk a dimpled smile that looks similar to Taehyung's. "Your mother invited us over for dinner."
"Oh she did?" Jeongguk chuckles lightly, briefly looking over his shoulder for any sight of his mother. Unfortunately, she's too busy in the kitchen, leaving Jeongguk to handle their surprising guests.
"Well then," He rubs his hands together to ease the nervousness surging in his veins, the edges of his lips folding into a shy grin, "come on and make yourselves comfortable then."
He doesn't miss the way he holds his breath when Taehyung passes by him, their shoulders brushing against one another's innocently yet he can't ignore how his heart races in the cavern of his chest. He gulps back the panic rising in his throat, shutting the door behind them and joining the Kims in the living room much to the uneasiness churning in his stomach.
Jeongguk's not good with older people, and
thankfully his mother and father have emerged from the kitchen, the duo already conversing with the Kims as though they're old friends that haven't seen each other in ages. On the other hand, his attention flits to where he notices Taehyung examining the row of picture frames on the wall, his stomach plummeting he Taehyung spends a little too long admiring an old picture of him.
"Son," His ears pick up his mother's sweet words, Jeongguk turning his gaze to his mom who's beside Rachel on the couch. She looks smaller, tiny besides Rachel's larger figure. His mom's the equivalent to a porcelain doll while Rachel mimicks some beach-side Barbie with plus-sized breasts from the city, though Jeongguk doesn't dare mention that out loud.
"Can you show Taehyung to your room? We'll call you both to supper," She smiles kindly, catching the attention of Taehyung from the other side of the room. The two of them make eyecontact, neither one saying a single word.
Jeongguk's breath hitches in his throat at her words. He's unsure whether he wants to be alone in the same room with Taehyung. After the little stunt he pulled in the janitor's closet, he can still feel Taehyung's touch on him, hot and electrifying. He can imagine the way his thumb brushes gently over his lip, those dark eyes of his staring into his own, a flicker of something he can't decipher glowing hazily in his irises.
But somehow, his thoughts manipulate the memory into something more illicit, sinful the longer he stares at Taehyung. He pictures the boy's hands caressing his cheek, his breath tickling his skin as he leans closer, plush lips a fraction away from touching his own. It feels oh-so real when Taehyung's other hand settles on the dip of his hip, squeezing the extra flesh beneath his massive hands-
Snap out of it Jeongguk, he thinks, horrified. Don't think about boys in that way. Nodding obediently to his mother's request, he gestures Taehyung up the staircase, regretting of even thinking of him in such a gross way. It's the first time it's ever happened, and certainly, it's going to be the last.
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Upon reaching Jeongguk's bedroom, he does his best to not meet Taehyung's eye. Taehyung seems to notice the tension once he shuts the door behind them both, making Jeongguk flinch realizing his chance of escape is far from reach. Fear widening his eyes, Jeongguk opens his mouth to explain but Taehyung beats him.
"What's bothering you sport?" Taehyung asks innocently, concern drawing his brows into a bunch.
He watches as Taehyung approaches him, the boy stopping right before his knees. Jeongguk slowly tilts his head up, cowering slightly beneath Taehyung's strong gaze on him. He feels his breath shallowing, his heart running wild he can feel it hammering against his ribs. Though he wills himself to not let his thoughts drift to sinful thoughts, Taehyung's presence enough to make him uncomfortable.
"Am I making you anxious?" He asks quietly, his fingers drifting beneath Jeongguk's chin. His touch is calloused, rough against his skin. Jeongguk's eyes flutter shut when Taehyung runs a thumb across his lips, but realizing his mistake, Jeongguk swats him away.
"No, you're not," Jeongguk clears his throat, removing Taehyung's touch with his free hand. "I'm just... a little confused." He admits softly.
Taehyung only hums. Jeongguk scoots to the side feeling the bed beside him dip down with the other's weight. He ignores the faint pitter-patter of his heart, his fingers clenching around the bedsheets to calm himself. A few days ago, he defended Taehyung from Jason accusing him of being a faggot, so why, why is he afraid? Why is his own heart racing with him sitting right next to him when he's told himself Taehyung is normal?
"Why are you confused?" He questions, worry lacing his vowels. Jeongguk merely shrugs, the explanation on his tongue melting along with his courage. "I don't know."
"C'mon sport. You can't be confused for no reason," Taehyung chuckles gently, the sound melodious to Jeongguk's ears. Jeongguk finds himself wishing to hear it again and again, but of course, in a completely platonic way. It's just so effortlessly beautiful, so carefree in a way he can't explain.
"I mean, well, you know how I saw you earlier today? I'm confused about that," Jeongguk begins, cringing when his thoughts drift to the inappropriate image of Taehyung's mother.
"You looked tired, yet here you are, having dinner with us. Plus you address her rather informally! I can't believe she's actually your mom," Jeongguk chuckles half-heartedly. He then feels Taehyung tense beside him, though the laugh that slips past his lips is different. It's more forced, more colder - angry almost.
It prompts a chill to run down Jeongguk's spine, and goodness, Jeongguk's never felt so interested in the mystery of Kim Taehyung.
"Rachel isn't fit to be a mother," Taehyung remains vague, his words restrained behind a barrier of privacy Jeongguk has no intention of stepping into. "She used to work a lot in the city and drinks. She's quite the money whore too, so I don't really know why my father hasn't ditched the damn witch yet."
"You're saying she cheated?" The younger frowns. Taehyung nods stiffly, "Mm. She's had a lot of affairs over the past three years."
"Th-That's a sin," Jeongguk's eyes widen in shock, remembering how his town is against adultry in any form. Whether it be a drunken one-night stand or a consensual affair, it's still a sin that must be corrected with the guidance of God. Adultry is adultry - there's no excuse to justify a person cheating on their spouse.
As a child, Jeongguk's never seen his parents fight once. He's quite the fool for believing in the fairytale of a true love that can't be broken. To him, falling in love isn't a mistake but a chance to connect the broken pieces of yourself with another, to better yourself, and most importantly feel loved.
Jeongguk finds it disgusting to cheat, to simply throw away that bond and love for a person that isn't the one you promised yourself to. It's wrong and horrible, and considering the fact Taehyung witnessed it, it must feel even worse.
"My dad didn't become religious until a couple years ago. Around the time my mom fucked afound with this rich contractor, he turned to the baptist life, and now we're here," Taehyung shakes his head, a grimace fitting on his features.
"At least you have God guiding you both," Jeongguk murmurs, his palm settling on Taehyung's shoulder. He turns his gaze to meet the other's, lips curving into a smile when he feels Taehyung ease beneath his touch.
Taehyung nods, a small grin of his own unraveling on his mouth. "Right, but I have to disagree with some of your beliefs."
Raising an eyebrow, Jeongguk's smile falters. "Wha-What do you mean?"
"I don't believe in the fact love only exists between a man and a woman," Taehyung retorts, his irises sparkling with something Jeongguk can't quite identify.
"Taehyung, homosexuality is a sin," Jeongguk's brow furrows, and suddenly, he watches as Taehyung's hand takes his own off his shoulder, carefullly bringing their fingers to the space between them. Taken a back, Jeongguk gawks at the older's hold on his fingers to the crooked grin on Taehyung's face, puzzled.
"Oh sport," Taehyung sing-songs, his thumb carressing Jeongguk's knuckles gently, "you haven't seen the other side of heaven yet."
"You mean hell?" Jeongguk squeaks, his stomach tumbling shamefully at his touch. Taehyung shakes his head, squeezing his hand.
"Much better than hell," Taehyung whispers lowly, steadily bringing Jeongguk's hand to his lips.
Their gazes lock onto one another's, neither daring to turn away. Jeongguk's breath stills in the hollow of his throat when he feels the ghost of Taehyung's lips against his fingers. It's a foreign feeling, this gesture more fitting for a woman and a man in a cliche movie. However, Jeongguk's mind fogs over, forgetting every single one of his morals when Taehyung brings his hand upwards, lips tracing a line from his palm to his wrist.
He melts with each light kiss, his bottom lip captured between his teeth as Taehyung teases him by nibbling at the skin. Yelping, he yanks his arm back, craddling his burning wrist to his chest. His face is ablaze, his cheeks dusted with pink and eyes glossed with bliss. His heart thumps erratically, each breath that slips past his lips uneven. Taehyung only smiles, content with his actions as Jeongguk struggles to think.
So this is how it feels to sin.
It feels weird, unnatural that he let a boy kiss his wrists so tenderly it's as though he is his lover. He has no idea why he didn't pull away and scold Taehyung for being inappropriate. Goodness, he should have stopped, or at least told Taehyung to stop being so ridiculous. Yet for some reason, a part of him likes how he has touched him, and for some odd reason his body tingles for more.
No, you can't sin. Sinning is unnatural. It's simply unacceptable Jeongguk.
Willing his eyes shut, Jeongguk chews on his lip, trying to calm his nerves. Suddenly, he feels Taehyung's hand cusp the edge of his cheek, his thumb gently brushing the patch of skin beneath his eyes.
"Don't be afraid to sin Jeongguk," Taehyung drawls, lowering his lips dangerously close to his own. Jeongguk feels his heart completely stop, his body numb underneath his touch. He wants him to quit it, but somehow his senses fade, completely drawn to Taehyung's effect over his whole body.
"If I kiss you right now-," Jeongguk freezes, his eyes snapping open when he realizes how much he's let himself fall into the clutches of Kim Taehyung to the point their lips are on the verge of connecting.
Breaking out of his trance, he rips himself away from the other, his movements too hasty he ends up falling off the bed. Jeongguk grunts, ignoring the deep, velvety laughter rumbling in Taehyung's throat. Cheeks hot, Jeongguk gets onto his feet, avoiding Taehyung's eyes as pure embarrassment twists inside his stomach.
"Taehyung-," He croaks, lifting his head with little confidence, but the older quickly shuts him up with a devilish smirk. Jeongguk swallows uneasily, frozen where he stands when Taehyung springs effortlessly onto his feet.
"I'm hungry!" He muses, completely oblivious to what happened moments before. Jeongguk snaps his attention to him, blinking dumbly at Taehyung like he's insane. He gestures the younger to the door, who has no other choice but to comply, with a forced grin Taehyung wears confidently.
As the two go the downstairs, Jeongguk can't help but replay Taehyung's words in the swarm of thoughts occupying his mind throughout the whole evening.
Don't be afraid to sin Jeongguk. You haven't seen the other side of heaven yet.
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we're getting there (:
thoughts so far?
remember to take care of
yourselves and eat well ! i
love you all so darn much 💛