The apartment is dead silent, the time reaching quarter after nine. Elli's sat with her elbow on the kitchen table, head in her hand as she sleeps. Her laptop is open in sleep mode, keeping everything in Lightroom saved. As she sleeps, she's completely unaware of the stranger tip-toeing from the hallway and to the door behind her.
The stranger picks up her heels and goes to unlock the door. Luckily, or unlucky, for Elli, the clicking of the deadbolt wakes her. She jerks awake, head nearly falling onto the keyboard of her laptop. The stranger freezes, watching Elli and a tint coming to her cheeks. Elli turns and meets a girl with pretty light brown hair, streaks of red and yellow that remind her of a phoenix. She's dressed in a slick back sequin dress, likely from the night before and her black mascara and eyeliner is smudged under her eyes with shades of red shadow fading over her eyes.
"I'm so sorry." She says. "I was just trying to leave." She says, her voice just above a whisper.
Elli nods, eyelids still drooping with sleep. "It's fine." Elli turns her head to her computer, swiping across the trackpad to wake it up and see the time on the screen. "He'll be up in about fifteen if you needed to use the bathroom, call for an Uber, or whatever before you actually leave."
She lets out a breath and pushes her hair over her shoulder, giving Elli a thankful smile. "Thanks." She says before looking to her phone and quickly and quietly calling herself an Uber.
"Yep." Elli says, returning the smile, hers a bit more tired.
"Are you his roommate's girlfriend?" She asks once she's off the phone and Elli just raises her brows. She was in a hurry to leave and now she wants a conversation?
Elli shakes her head. "I am his roommate."
The girl's face turns red as she starts to apologize. "Sorry, I just...assumed--"
"It's okay." Elli cuts her off. "It's not a big deal. I assume you're a one-night stand?" Elli asks but she makes her tone joking as to not offend the girl in the doorway.
"Yeah," She chuckles. "Any guy who takes a girl home and is already covered in hickies, he's the one-night stand."
Elli laughs a little, a weird sense of pride in her chest knowing she's the one who's put those small bruises over his chest. Elli puts her arm on the back of the chair to better face her. "Yeah, that's fair enough."
"What's it like? I mean," She pauses for a few beats. "To have him bring home girls all the time? Does it bother you?"
Elli shrugs, knowing full and well that he doesn't do it as often as it appears. "Nah, it's his life, ya know?" One-night stands don't linger to talk to a roommate, or anyone, unless there's a reason and the girl's face is telling Elli there might be a little more to her still standing in the apartment.
She looks to her feet, nodding. "Yeah, you're right."
Elli's eyes narrow slightly. "Do you not want to be a one-night stand? Because you're loitering and asking me about him."
She shakes her head softly. "He's good, and cute, a musician, smart, funny, a good time--"
"But?" Elli inquires.
"We talked." She shrugs a shoulder. "There's someone or something and I'm not gonna be some guy's second choice or a rebound. He seems great but he's not that into me."
"What do you mean you talked?" Elli asks, brows furrowing as she knows Parker's habit of not exactly being a conversationalist with people he doesn't know even when he's drunk.
"We just talked for maybe two hours before deciding to come here and we were here awhile before..." She bites her lip before continuing. "Ya know, like we heard you come home while we were talking. He's good conversation."
"What'd you talk about?" Elli pushes, her own curiosity killing her. It's so unlike Parker that she wants to know what got him talking.
The girl can't help but smirk, a chuckle leaving her red stained lips. Elli's brows furrow as she watches her expression, like she knows something Elli doesn't. "You'd have to ask him."
Elli shakes her head with a huff. "You're gonna leave me hanging like that? At least tell me what gives you the impression that there's someone or something?"
"It's the way he talks and maybe you should talk to him because I assumed you were his roommate's girlfriend because of the picture on his dresser. You, him, and another guy."
"Yeah, uh, an old friend took it for us but what about it?"
"Because the both of them are looking at you and they give you that look." She sighs and reached for the door handle. "But, it's none of my business, just an observation from a picture and body language."
Elli feels her cheeks tint red as she looks back to her computer screen. "You're my favorite one-night stand of his."
The girl tilts her head back and laughs. "You're my favorite roommate I've met." She opens the door, smile still etched across her face. "Thanks again."
"No problem." Elli returns the smile before the girl who remains nameless leaves, the door shutting quietly and leaving Elli alone in the kitchen for the next few minutes.
Normally, she doesn't talk to Parker's one-night stands. They don't usually run into each other just like Parker doesn't usually run into hers. But, when she does run into them, it's just usually just an awkward eye contact moment before they slip out of the front door. It's rarely anything more but this girl, it's different. She woke Elli up and is the reason Parker is going to wake up and ask about the date with Collyn, completely oblivious to Elli's tired state and everything that unfolded the night prior. But, she's really different because one-night stands are just that, one-night and Parker is always respectful from Elli's understanding but there's not usually a lot of talking from what he's said. Something about her made Parker want to talk and there's the point that she had to mention the way Parker looks at her.
It's Elli's job to look at pictures, look at people's face and how they look at their surroundings and other people. It's what she does, every single day. Of course, she knows the way Parker looks at her in certain pictures because it's her job but just because she knows doesn't mean she wants to coherently admit it to herself and it doesn't mean she wants other people pointing it out because denial is easy.
The next few minutes pass, Elli logged back into her laptop but staring blankly at the screen, half focused on everything Parker's one-night stand had to say and half focused on how Elli is gonna tell Parker about her date. It's not gonna be a fun morning but that's why she fell asleep at the table in the first place. She couldn't sleep and the kitchen and living room are further away from Parker's room so she wouldn't disturb him and the stranger with any possible sobs and this way, she would be right here to talk to him whenever he got up. Or maybe not even talk but just see him.
The door to Parker's room creeks open, Elli hearing him yawn as his footsteps travel down the hallway towards her. She looks to the left and sees him walking in, grey sweatpants and no shirt, the usual attire for him.
"Mornin'." He says, voice rugged and still drenched in sleep.
"Morning." Elli says, turning back to her laptop and making herself look like she was actually being productive.
"Up early." Parker mutters, walking to the coffee pot.
"Yeah." Elli answer shortly.
Parker pauses, looking over his shoulder. Elli's eyes are on her laptop screen, brows furrowed and mouth in a straight line. Her eyes are slightly puffy and she looks exhausted, hair tied back in a messy bun. One of her old Art Institute hoodies wrapped around her shoulders, remanence of faded black eyeliner on her cheeks as if she missed it washing her face the night before.
"You alright?" Parker asks, not turning back to the coffee pot.
"Yeah." She answers plainly, not looking to him.
Parker turns back to make the coffee, making sure there's plenty for the both of them before he turns back to her. He walks over to the chair closest to her and takes a seat, tilting his head, his bed-headed curls sticking up and falling lopsided.
"What happened?" Parker asks, resting an arm on the table and one on the back of the chair.
Elli looks to him and shrugs with a deep inhale. "I'm a shitty friend because I'm fucking you and went on a date with Collyn, got a hicky from you, lied about it to Collyn after he asked me point blank if it was from you, and I definitely broke his heart and I don't think we're friends anymore because I don't think anyone has ever looked at me the way he did and I have disappointed a lot of people. He left crying and I haven't heard from him yet. That's what ya missed."
Parker runs his hand over his face and all he can feel is guilt. He could have stopped that night, he could have stopped all of this and at least some of her own guilt would be lifted. He knows just by the tone of her voice and expression on her face that she was up crying and he had a girl home. Any other time it doesn't matter but this one time it does because he wasn't there when she needed him.
"Why didn't come and tell me, Elli?" Parker asks.
"You were playing Chase Atlantic and that's the band you have sex to."
Parker squints an eye and scrunches his face. "You could've texted me and I'd have come out here."
"I know." Elli says. "But, what, I ruin my night and Collyn's night? I'm not gonna ruin yours, too."
"You wouldn't have ruined my night." Parker's voice loses the caring tone as it grows stern. "If you need me, you tell me."
Elli sighs. "I was fine." She shrugs. "It just sucked."
Parker pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes going to the side as he seems to go into thought. "He's not texted you back?"
Elli shakes her head and slides her phone to him. "Nope. He said he'd call today and that it was fine but he didn't look fine and it wasn't fine." Elli's voice starts to go quiet and she can feel a lump building, the guilt feeling like a thousand bricks weighing her to the bottom of the ocean.
"Hey," Parker scoots closer to her. "Are you okay? Forget Collyn right now, are you alright?"
Elli just stares at him and chews the inside of her cheek. "I dunno." She mumbles, feeling herself about to start crying. "I wanted to like him but I don't and it's not fair. I was just trying to do the right thing." Elli starts rambling, speaking a mile a minute as a few tears fall down her cheeks. "He deserved a chance and I gave him one but then I just and I... I fucked it all up. And the worst part is that..." Elli pauses, taking a few breaths, eyes locked with Parker's. "There's still not a part of me that wants to tell him I lied or that we've been lying and there's not any part of me that thinks cutting off with you would be a good idea. And I know that's fucked up and I'm selfish for it and I just feel bad that Collyn got hurt in all this and I should have just told him no because at least today would be Saturday and we'd be okay but now it's Saturday, the day after our date and I'm crying and everything sucks."
Parker's heart just shatters as he listens to her and watches the tears fall down her cheeks. Maybe it's selfish and a little conceited to think but he can't help but think that this is his fault. Parker could have texted Collyn back like he said he was going to but he didn't. He's too stubborn and too proud. He could have suggested they just let Collyn know because, in this moment, maybe that really would have been their better option. Maybe they both wouldn't be hurt. And he could have told Collyn the truth. Any of those options could have resulted in a different outcome other than both of his friends crying with broken hearts. But, Parker can't change what happened last night, just what happens today.
Parker moves closer and reaches out, cupping her face allowing his thumbs to wipe her tears. "It's gonna be okay and it's not your fault." Parker says. "You did the right thing and you know you did. He's hurt and that's all it is. I'll go by and talk to him today, ya?"
"You don't have to." Elli says. "It'll probably make it worse." Elli croaks out, a sniffle following.
"I won't let that happen, okay?" Parker stands up and presses a kiss to her forehead. "Just," He sighs and starts over to the coffee pot. " and we'll sit on the couch and you can sleep, ya? I'll go over later if he doesn't text you back."
"Okay." Elli whispers, wiping her own eyes and knowing that there's no point to argue. Parker is just trying to make her feel better and he just wants what's best for her and Collyn. "Sorry for ruining your morning."
Parker turns to her and shakes his head. "You didn't ruin my morning. Batman or Flash? Both clean."
"Flash." Elli says, looking away from him and closing her laptop. "Was your night good?" Elli opts to change subject, hoping he'll have something to lighten the mood with. She doesn't want to talk anymore, she wants to hear Parker talk, about anything and everything.
"Mhm." Parker hums as he grabs her Flash mug from the cabinet. "Good time."
"Good." Elli bites her lip and she means it. She might have had a shitty night but she's happy Parker had a good one.
"Just in time for our appointment, right?" He asks, a tint of sarcasm in his voice as he brings Elli her mug.
Elli called and made their regular appointments at the clinic for an STD screening. The both of them are safe but they sleep with other people so it's just to stay safe and they go in every three to six months. It's routine with her and Parker, just like everything between them. Routine.
The comment brings a smile to Elli's face. "Yeah, we get tested on Monday, appointment's at six. I can pick you up from work if you want?"
"Yeah, that works." Parker agrees, getting his own cup of coffee. "Gonna have to take me, too though."
"That's fine." Elli nods, taking a sip of her drink.
"Alright." Parker says, running a hand through his hair. "Let's get in the living room and we'll turn something on, okay? If Collyn doesn't text you or call you by three, I'll head over and if he does and you're sleeping, I'll wake you, ya?" Parker offers with a sympathetic smile.
Elli nods, getting her cup in hand. "Thanks, Parker."
"Of course." Parker says, putting an arm around her shoulders before the two of them head into the living room.
Elli and Parker take their seats, Elli leaning against the arm of the couch with her legs across Parker's lap and Parker right next to her, a blanket from the back of the couch pulled over the both of them. Elli lets Parker pick the show, him opting for Game Of Thrones, knowing it's more for his entertainment than hers given her state of exhaustion.
While she did fall asleep at the table, total, she slept for just about an hour. A long night of crying and drowning herself in her own guilt and regret has caused her to be the most exhausted she's ever been. So, Elli lets Parker pick his show and Parker rubs her shin lightly while she sips her coffee and he doesn't budge after she finishes it and manages to fall asleep while he's only on the third episode.
Episode after episode goes by and Elli's phone only goes off when her sister texts her, nothing from Collyn. So, by three, Parker is moving Elli's legs off of him carefully so he doesn't wake her up and he gets ready to leave.
He made a promise and while he doesn't know what he'll be walking into, he wants to sort it out. He wants Collyn to text Elli back and make sure they're okay but he also wants an explanation. It's a bit selfish, sure, but while he's there, while it's eating at his gut and while he's fueled with fire over Elli, he might as well find out why Collyn lied. And so he heads out to Collyn's apartment.
Parker's knuckles tap a few times are the blue-gray door before he stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets. Footsteps echo from behind the door before he hears the locks. He sucks in a breath and braces himself for the conversation he'd never thought he'd have.
"Hey." Collyn says as he opens the door.
"Hey." Parker says, expression flat. "Can we talk?"
"Sure, since you've been ignoring me." Collyn says sarcastically as he opens the door further and allows Parker inside.
Parker narrows his eyes at Collyn as he walks inside. He should have answered his phone, especially when Elli told him to. But, he didn't have anything nice to say. He was annoyed and angry so he kept it to himself so he wouldn't say something to Collyn that he would regret. That was the whole point of blowing off texts but now him and Collyn are walking to Collyn's kitchen because Parker just can't get the image of Elli out of his head and he needs the two of them to be okay.
"Text her. She's upset." Parker blurts out.
Collyn scoffs. "She tell you about last night? I told her I'd call her today and I will."
"Yeah, she did so you need to do it sooner than later. She was up all night over it, found her at the kitchen table this mornin' in front of her computer."
Something in Parker's tone has Collyn's blood set to boil. It's demanding and demeaning. Even accusing and Collyn is certain that Parker is involved in last night. Parker comes in pointing fingers as if Collyn doesn't have a right to be hurt.
"And where were you?" Collyn retorts, arms over his chest. "You found her? Where were you that she couldn't talk to you?" Parker's jaw clenches and all he can see is red as Collyn continues. "The two of you are attached at the damn hip, so what had you so busy last night she couldn't talk to you? When I left her she was crying. Where were you, huh?"
"Just text her, for fuck's sake!" Parker yells, frustration in every vein of his neck.
"What? Pissed off because she needed you and you weren't around? I'll call her later. Like I fuckin' said. That all you wanted? Be her knight in shining armor?"
Parker's eyes narrow and yes, he's beyond pissed off but he's more in disbelief than he is everything else. Collyn said he liked Elli but he didn't say he liked her enough for this. Parker did come in too hard. He should have just talked but he's protective of Elli, like Collyn says but is that really a reason for Collyn to attack Parker, too?
"Fuck off." Parker groans. "That's all of why I'm here."
"Go on then." Collyn gestures a hand out, one arm still across his chest.
"You said you weren't gonna ask her." Parker states, both of them standing on the opposites side of the kitchen island.
The anger starts to fade with Parker's statement. He did lie.
Collyn shakes his head and walks to the fridge, grabbing two bottles of beer, sliding one to Parker. Parker looks the bottle and back to Collyn and guilt floods him. "I changed my mind. You said you didn't like her, what's it matter?"
Parker's jaw squares as he lets out a shallow breath. "You lied to me about it."
Collyn scoffs, dry chuckle immediately following and he can feel his blood starting to boil again in utter disbelief. "You're fucking with me right?"
"I don't care." Parker tries to play it off, grabbing the beer bottle. "It's that you lied about asking her out when you know--"
"Know what?" Collyn cuts him off, an annoyed smile tugging on his lips. "Go on, say it."
"That I liked her before."
Collyn's fist comes down on the counter as he stares Parker down, his hands starting to shake. "You're fucking serious? God!" Collyn groans in frustration. "You and her have been lying to me for weeks! Months even! But what? I change my mind because I'm not a fuckin' coward and I'm the bad guy here?"
"What?" Parker asks, taken aback by Collyn's outburst.
His heart starts to race and he can almost feel the color draining from his face. Elli never said anything about telling Collyn about them. He's had his suspicions but it's bold of him to go out and not only call Parker and Elli a liar but call him a coward. There's a reason he doesn't want Collyn knowing about them and it's because he will seem cowardly. He can have sex with Elli any day of the week, he can full out act as though they are dating in their apartment, but he can't open a damn box for eight letters. It's cowardly.
"You've both been fuckin' around. I'm not stupid." Collyn says through gritted teeth. "You can lie to yourself and she lies to herself all you fuckin' want to but stop lying to me!"
"If you think we're fuckin', why'd you go behind my back and ask her out?" Parker asks bluntly, allowing no time for Collyn to add anything to the end of his statement.
"You said you don't like her. I took my chance because I wanted it off my chest but I never thought she would say yes. Ever. She was sitting on the sidewalk and that's when I knew I had to say something, alright?" Collyn snarks. "I know you are because you two are always covered in hickies and the two of've you don't go out that often and if you do, you're usually with each other. It's not fuckin' hard to figure out."
"But I did!" Parker yells, his face turning a pale shade of red. "I did like her! And you know how much but you still lied to me and asked anyway!" Parker takes a breath and the two are silent for what feels like hours when it's only a few seconds. "And we're not fuckin' or anything. Got it? We are friends and that is it."
"For fuck's sake!" Collyn yells again. "I got my damn heart broken last night because you two are in love with each other but are too fuckin' stupid to say anything! I asked her last night if it was you and she lied to my damn face that it wasn't but being her friend for years, I know. I see the way she looks at you. She's in love with you and I think she might love you more than anything on this damn planet but you're too busy trying to cover your fuckin' pride and don't want to see it! You're in love with her and for the fuckin' life of me, I dunno why she can't fuckin' see it because it is so obvious it's a damn tragedy to watch."
Parker stares at Collyn, stunned. He knows Elli hurt him but it wasn't supposed to be like this. None of it was supposed to be like this. No one is supposed to get hurt, ever. That's the beauty of being friends. But, romantic feelings can develop and then friends can break hearts just as easily as strangers and it hurts even more, sucking the air right out of the lungs of everyone involved. It's not just Collyn that's hurt here. Everyone is hurt and it all just sucks. Who's hurt the worst though?
Parker's on the edge of suffocating himself with his own blanket of denial and it feels like Collyn's stabbed him with a knife, smiling. Collyn found out he's not a first choice by his best friend and he's being lied to. And Elli, she's the person stuck in the middle of everything.
"Look, do what you want, I don't care anymore. But, don't come to me when something happens and it's too late. One day, something's gonna happen to one of you and whoever is left, is gonna have to deal with the fact you were both too scared to just say it." Collyn says, voice low and honest as he looks Parker over.
"Fuck off." Parker mutters, sliding the still closed beer to Collyn.
"It's true." Collyn says, stopping the bottle from sliding off the counter. "You're a coward and so is she."
"Take it back." Parker takes a step towards Collyn and Collyn meets his stance, standing two inches taller.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you really feel nothing for her and that there's nothing going on and I will."
Parker's fists are balled at his sides and all he can hear is the rumbling of his heart in his chest. "I can't." He says, lips right and jaw locked.
"Why not?" Collyn asks, matching his hardened expression.
"Because." Parker says.
"Why? Gonna lie to me more? Gonna stand here and be a coward 'bout it? It's been years." Collyn starts raising his voice, getting in Parker's face. "It has been fucking years that you've looked at her like she's the reason you play music. She's the reason for everything you do. Fucking years so what the hell are you gonna do? Keep lying to me? Keep lying to Elli? You're gonna lie to me? Coward and you're a shit fuckin' friend, too."
Parker's head feels like it's going to explode with Collyn's yelling. He's right and Parker knows it. It's been years and Elli makes him happier than anyone or anything on the planet. And he is a coward and he's lying to Collyn every single day about everything and it feels like he's literally suffocating himself.
"You're selfish, mate. It's about time you--"
That flashlight, it's like oxygen and Parker just keeps tossing it away, seeing how long he can live without it and Collyn is an airbag hitting him in the face at thirty miles hour, knocking the wind out of him. He can't breathe so he snaps.
"I'm in love with her, okay?"