"WHAT?" you demanded just as loudly as the rest of the room. Unfortunately, everyone just stared in shocked, drunken, confusion. They were all way too plastered to process the information, much less have this conversation tonight.
You glared at them all for being dumb enough to get this drunk. It was nearly dawn, and you were grumpy without sleep, especially when you had to be the grownup for all these adults, and Tony. "I've got to get you all to bed so you can sleep off that shit and we can have a coherent conversation about that bombshell in the morning," you grumbled at them.
"Language," Cap slurred. You knew it was bad when Cap was drunk enough to slur. What was in that stuff Thor had given them?
You calmly raised your middle finger at Cap, who just looked even more shocked and appalled at your actions. Clint just erupted into giggles. "Can it, Cap," you snarled at him. You were really grumpy without sleep and having to herd a group of drunken cats. You stood from Loki's lap and scowled when he tried to pull you back there. "You all officially lose the blue band-aid contest." you informed them as you raised your hands in front of you, calling the magic you'd need for your drunken cat herding. It probably wasn't the most ethical method of getting them to bed, but it was the most effective way of getting them all there safely and quickly. "I'm calling it, guys, bed for everyone," they all whined, but it was too late. You looked at Thor and Loki. "We will discuss this in the morning," you told them firmly. With that, you unleashed the spell you had cast. A moment later, everyone, besides Loki, was in their beds asleep. The sleep was easy, it was part of a healer's arsenal. Putting everyone to bed was more tricky, but you managed. You had to take a moment to catch your breath. It had taken quite a bit of magic all at once to cast that spell.
You walked over to the whiteboard currently set up in the living room. It currently held the tally marks of everyone's injuries for the evening. You erased the board and wrote instead:
Everyone lost tonight for the offense of getting so drunk the healer had to teleport you to your beds. Pissing off the healer was a terrible idea. So you ALL lose.
Pay up
Y/N
After you wrote your note you went back to the couch and your very drunk boyfriend. "Come along, love. Time for bed," you bid him gently. You'd promised to take care of him, so he didn't get sent to bed like the others. You somehow got him hauled to his feet, one of his arms over your shoulders and your arms around his waist to keep him standing. You teleported the two of you up to his room, even through his shielding, glad his shields didn't even hesitate at letting you in anymore. Somehow you managed to walk him to his bed and get him sitting in it. It wasn't easy.
It was even more difficult to figure out how to get him out of his shoes. He kept wanting kisses instead of helping you. Finally, you remembered that you were a witch and had the handy clothes changing spell. It was more difficult to use on someone other than yourself, but you somehow, somehow with lots of herding and promises of kisses got him in pajamas in the bed and agreeing to stay there for longer than thirty seconds.
You swore to yourself never to let him get this drunk again.
He grabbed your hand when you went to leave the room. "Stay with me?" he asked all small and pathetically.
You sighed, exasperated and grumpy, but gave him a smile anyway. "If I stay, will you finally go the fuck to sleep?" you asked him. He giggled at your curse word and you were tempted to read him that book just to hear more of his giggles. He nodded. "Fine, I'll stay." You didn't feel like using more magic when you were sober enough to dress yourself, so you stole a pair of pajama pants and one of his shirts from his dresser to wear to bed, keeping your back to him while you changed. Once changed, you crawled into the bed with him. He curled himself around you, protectively acting the big spoon, even though he was too drunk to use his magic, much less protect either of you.
*
It was nearly noon before anyone in the compound woke. "Miss Y/N, the team would like for you to come downstairs," Jarvis' voice broke through the last of your sleep. He sounded almost afraid of your answer. You groaned and sat up, though you had to move Loki's arm to do so. He looked like hell when his eyes cracked open. They were bloodshot. He groaned and tried to cover his head with a pillow. You laughed and he groaned more at the sound of your laugh.
"I'll be down soon, J," you told Jarvis. "I should leave you like this," you teased Loki, not above tormenting him for getting in this state. He whimpered and you took pity on him. "C'mere," you bid him softly, gently. You touched his temple, your hand surrounded by the blue glow of your magic. He finally relaxed when you got rid of his hangover for him. You brushed his hair back from his face. "Better?" you asked him gently. He nodded weakly.
"Remind me never to do that again," he groaned.
"Duly noted," you replied dryly. "I'm not intending on letting any of you drink that stuff again," you grumbled.
"What happened last night?" Loki asked, worried, confused, and still not seeming up to full strength.
"Besides you getting drunk off your ass? What to you remember?"
"The last thing is Thor bringing out that flask..." he then looked so horrified and concerned, and stared at you in his bed, wearing his clothes. "I didn't- we-" he couldn't form the words, couldn't complete the thought that was so abhorrent to him, that he might have done something without your consent.
You shook your head quickly. "No. Nothing happened besides sleep," you told him quickly. He sighed in relief.
"Not that I would not be interested, of course, but that would not be the way..." he glanced at your necklace, which was suddenly no longer shy now that everyone had seen it, and looked away from it quickly, an almost unreadable expression of hurt? betrayal? fear? anger? on his face at the sight of it. You grabbed it and shoved it back under your borrowed shirt.
"No, that would not have been the way," you agreed with him. "Let's see, you and everyone else got super stupidly drunk. You apparently have no filter and a lead tongue when you're drunk and told the whole group about my necklace and how you think it means I'm full Asgardian. And then your idiot brother shouted that it was your betrothed's necklace. You and Thor will be explaining that tidbit shortly. The conversation ended there, because you were all too drunk to function, so I got everyone to bed," you explained quickly. Loki looked more and more horrified during your explanation and you could see the fog clearing in his mind as your words sparked his memory.
"That...did not go as intended," he finally said.
"No. It didn't. So now we're going downstairs where we'll hopefully find your brother and we can get this whole mess sorted out and the two of you will be giving some explanations," you told him firmly. You didn't like secrets and tricks when you were the one involved and potentially hurt by them.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" he started. You shook his apology away.
"You're allowed to have fun too, and none of this is your fault-"
"Miss Y/N. Mr. Stark is pathetically begging," Jarvis announced again, interrupting your conversation. He sounded worried. You sighed heavily.
"Coming, J," you called. "We need to get downstairs," you told Loki as you got to your feet. You made sure he was coming with you before you would leave the room. He wasn't getting out of this conversation. He was still looking sheepish, so you grabbed his hand to make sure he followed you.
When you made it downstairs, you found a bunch of pathetic looking Avengers waiting for you, plus a Thor who was happily eating poptarts and drinking coffee. The rest looked even worse than Loki had when he woke up. "What have we learned about drinking whatever that shit was that Thor gave you?" you asked the pathetic group.
"That it was fun," Tony growled, barely looking up from the couch he had collapsed facedown onto.
"Guess you don't want a hangover cure," you replied pleasantly.
"That you are the most beautiful wonderful healer ever and we will never do something so stupid again," Clint said quickly. You went over to him and started with him on your round around the room healing the hangovers.
"You ok, Thor?" you asked once he and Tony were the last ones left. He nodded, his mouth too full of poptarts to answer.
"Your present will be here later today," Tony finally said when you had healed everyone else. "I'm covering the present for all of the losers," he added, glancing at the board which still had your note on it.
"Better be something good for how much work it took to get all of you safely to your beds last night," you grumbled, but healed him too. You sat on the couch with Loki, but not curled up next to him, just far enough away that you could easily talk to him and Thor.
"You two are betrothed?" Nat asked, like she wasn't quite sure she was remembering that conversation correctly. The rest of the group stared in half-remembered shock.
"Lady Y/N, we can have this conversation elsewhere," Thor said gently, offering to have the conversation more privately. It wouldn't help and you knew it. Either Jarvis would spy for Tony, or they'd just demand all the answers later anyway.
"It doesn't matter where we have it, just that we have it. They're family, and they already know there's something going on. They'll find out the rest eventually, we might as well all find it out together. I need an explanation, Thor, Loki," you told them firmly.
"Then let us tell you what we know happened and we will piece the rest together from there," Loki said gently, nervously. He was scared, actually afraid for the first time since you'd known him. You weren't quite sure what he was afraid of... afraid of your anger, of your hurt, your rejection for whatever this story was going to be.
"Loki, just tell me," you bid him softly. You trusted and loved him, wasn't that enough, no matter what had happened in the past?
He took a breath. You saw him steel himself before he began the tale.