That night Estelle could not sleep. All she could think about was Severus' lips on hers. She had never kissed anyone like that before...her face was as hot as a volcano all night long as she kept thinking of it. When the next morning finally did arrive, Estelle was exhausted from lack of sleep. She sluggishly got out of bed, feeling the consequences of staying up like some kind of teenaged girl. She put her hair up, got dressed and anxiously waited in her office. It was too early to go to breakfast but she didn't know what else to do during the free time. So she sat at her desk, not really working, more like daydreaming and scribbling nonsense. As her face was red as a balloon and she had been drawing nothing important on a piece of parchment, Elio walked out of his own room. He looked wide awake and was freshly dressed and clear faced.
Estelle looked up, forgetting he was there and that he still hadn't apologized. She found it surprising he was up this early, considering he typically slept till lunch most days. He stared at her, also surprised she was sitting out here this early.
She quietly gasped and hid the parchment she was scribbling on, using a Vanishing charm to make it disappear quickly before he could see what she was writing. The scribbles she had been drawing were random but there was one clear name. Severus. She internally facepalmed, cringing at herself for acting like such a little girl.
"Morning." Elio finally managed to say while he watched her panickily vanish a piece of paper. He was confused but didn't question her further on it.
Estelle inhaled, "M-Morning." She stuttered nervously and awkwardly, shifting in her seat.
Elio remained quiet, just staring at her. He twitched, seeming to struggle to go to where he was planning or stay and talk with her. His eyes kept going to the door and then to her, conflicted. Estelle noticed this and stood up, "It's okay. We can talk later." She told him, trying to make herself look busy as well and that she suddenly had other plans. He hesitated but smiled a small smile and left, leaving Estelle in the awkward quiet office. She sighed, sinking into her chair. She hated how things were now with each other, it was as if they were standing on thin ice whenever they were together. Her anger always burst out whenever she was with him, shaking her head at herself in annoyance, while in her chair.
After uselessly sulking in her chair for awhile, Estelle became aware of the time and realized she was now late for breakfast. Great. She ran over hastily and nervously, not sure what to expect. Would it be Severus and her talking or not talking about what happened last night? Or would it be awkward tension filled silence with her brother? She didn't know which was the better option or if she could handle either without dying.
She walked into the already full Great Hall, the students already in the middle of eating and chatting away excitedly since Christmas was very soon. She walked the length of the hall while her heart pounded very quickly, and took her now spot by Severus who was already there. She sat down slowly and bit her lip anxiously and nervously.
She peeked at Severus, but he seemed not to notice and quietly ate his breakfast as if she wasn't there. She frowned but instead peeked at Elio to make sure he was actually there. He was, and he was quietly having a discussion with Neville and didn't notice she was there either. Estelle sighed, not sure if this was what she wanted, for them both to ignore her. Her face heated up, feeling pathetic and maybe she was over thinking things? The kiss with Severus might have meant nothing to him and was simply something to do, she had no idea. Her heart squeezed at the thought, realizing it had meant something to her. She never would have kissed him back if she didn't like him but perhaps Severus would...? She didn't know him really, she sadly thought.
Estelle quietly ate her breakfast with a sullen face, feeling a bit miserable. Even the beautifully decorated castle wasn't cheering her up as much. The Great Hall was currently decorated, apparently it was tradition to have 12 Christmas trees up around the Great Hall, the gamekeeper Hagrid put them up cheerfully the beginning of December. It was beautiful and for a lack of better words, quite magical looking. They really took their decorations seriously here at Hogwarts.
Even though Estelle was upset now, she was still excited for the upcoming events. Today was Christmas eve eve, so two days left, before Christmas as well as the ball. To Estelle, Christmas was her all time favourite holiday and the addition to a ball she was still excited no matter her feelings right now. Though this wasn't always the case when she was younger. During her time in Ilvermorny she hated Christmas, what with December being the month her mother passed away, so it was really hard in the beginning. But as she grew up and came to peace with her mothers death, it started to become her favourite and happiest month. The decorations, the presents, the food and outfits. It was all fun and she knew her mother would be happy with her if she was still alive.
Later during the day, while she was in the library taking some time to read and to distract her uneasy feelings, Elio finally found her so he could talk with her. Estelle looked up immediately and sensed someone was in front of her. She had stacks of books around her, feeling like a student again. They ranged from astronomy, to fashion, to a few No-Maj and wizard romance fictions. She looked up and spotted Elio walking over to her and behind him a blur of robes leaving the library. From the looks of it, it was Neville, but she wasn't sure since he left so fast.
She peeked up from her book and waited. He stood there for a minute before pulling up a chair to finally sit beside her and didn't say a word as he did so.
She waited.
He paused and inhaled then started, "Es. I'm sorry for everything, these past few weeks, for the way I treated you." He blurted, shifting in his chair. She remained silent and let him talk without interruptions.
"I'm a horrible excuse of a brother," he awkwardly laughed, but then went back to being serious, "It's just I want to protect you. You're my little sister--" he was interrupted with her saying "by only half a minute!" but she shut up when he gave her a strained face, "my little sister, of half a minute" he rolled his eyes, "but since mum and dad died years ago, you're my only family left. I just want you to be safe."
He paused, staring at her with pleading blue eyes.
She raised her eyebrows in question, "What are you protecting me from in the first place?" She knew where he was coming from but his reasoning was off. She didn't need protection, she was a grown women for merlin's sake.
He clenched his jaw but remained calm, "From that Death Eater." He seethed, controlling his breathing. Estelle flinched at the sudden venom of his words.
"What?" She whispered, staring at his clenched face. She dropped her book on the table, a small thud against the wood. "What?" She asked again, more louder than the first time she said it. She was glad that no one was in here other than them and Madam Pince somewhere, she didn't want anyone to see or hear the yells she was getting ready to scream.
"You heard me, Estelle." He warned, his fists were white and balled up beside him.
"I did and I'm afraid I don't like what you said one bit. How dare you? So what if he was a Death Eater, he has changed his ways mind you, and that I'm starting to spend time with him? He is different from the man he was a year ago, he has moved on. Why cant you see that? Oh right because you haven't even given him the chance!" She shot back, her eyes wild, angry and hurt.
Elio's facial expressions mimicked her own, "Why should I? He killed his friend, the greatest wizard of his time Albus Dumbledore. He became a Death eater. He tormented Nev—his, his students! He's a horrible and evil man, Estelle and I forbid you from being near him!" Elio was now standing, looking over her with a commanding and forceful look.
Estelle would not tolerate this and stood up herself, inches apart from him. "You are not my father! I can make decisions for myself, even if you can't seem to yourself and need other people to tell you before you actually give others a chance." She huffed, crossing her arms now. She was afraid she was going to hit something so she kept them folded near her chest.
Elio hit the table out of frustration, groaning. The stacks of books jumped but remained stacked up. Estelle glared at him. "Estelle! Listen to me, I am trying to help you!" He roared, trying to make her understand his side of things.
Before Estelle could yell back, a shrill voice appeared behind them. Estelle cringed, completely forgetting that the two were in the library and were currently yelling. She forgot to cast a Muffliato charm or a Silencing charm, had been too enraged to think.
"Yelling!? In my library?!" Cried Madam Pince as she stalked over to them very quickly.
Elio huffed, turned on his heel and left the library before Madam Pince came rushing over. His face was red and his fists were still clenched, his body stiff. He stormed out, more upset than before.
Foe the next half hour Madam Pince lectured Estelle about proper behaviour in the library, yelling herself at times. Estelle apologized sheepishly and finally escaped. She was on edge and twitching from anger so she sought out some tea. The perfect place was the dungeons. So she quickly walked over, practically running, and slammed into Severus's office. His head snapped up, about to yell at the sudden disruption but instead raised his eyebrows in question when he noticed who it was and how mad she was.
Without asking, a pot of tea appeared and she stormed over, grabbed it and poured herself a cup. She drank it in seconds and slammed in onto his desk. She crossed her arms, still fuming.
"Would you like to talk about it?" Severus asked not really expecting an answer right now, a dull but amused expression on his face. This was his first time seeing her like this.
"No!" She yelled but flinched at her own voice and deflated. She sank into the chair and pouted. It was uncomfortable as her hair was up in a ponytail and it was uncomfortably pressed against the back of the chair. "I'm sorry.." she sighed, closing her eyes, trying to control her breathing.
He shrugged, smirking. He didn't mind. It was actually refreshing to see her mad for once, whenever they spent time together she was annoyingly happy and chipper. It was a good change of pace he thought amusingly. He let her slowly but surely take her time to clam down, sitting in silence for a few minutes.
She finally calmed down, slouching in the chair for awhile. She momentarily froze, her thoughts going back to the previous night. Of her and Severus. Kissing. Oh merlin she had forgotten while she was so mad and on instinct came here. Her face went hot and she kept her eyes closed, trying not to look at him for a minute. She breathed out and then sat upright in her chair.
"Did-Did the...." she started, her cheeks on fire. This was so embarrassing. "Did you want to kiss me?" She whispered, unsure what she was trying to even ask. She was surprised at herself for how easy the question seemed to come out of her and at how she wasn't at all that embarrassed like she thought she would be. Her heart beat, suddenly scared to know his answer. He did ignore her this morning...
Severus gave her a ludicrous expression, pinching the bridge of his nose and looking at her with amusement and mock bewilderment "Why on earth would I kiss if I did not want too?"
Estelle mulled over his answer, her cheeks aflame, "I don't know, perhaps you were bored or something?" She quietly said, still not sure what was happening and if he was telling the truth.
"Bored." He echoed with a blank face, staring at her with piercing eyes. She squirmed in her seat, "Alright, maybe not bored but I don't know. You did ignore me this morning. I'm completely inexperienced and I doubt you aren't so I'm a little confused as to why you would ever--" She rambled but immediately stopped when he had stood up from his desk.
She held her breath as he walked over, her eyes not leaving him whatsoever. He towered over her while she sat in the chair, she leaning back to look up at him. There was a long silence while the two stared at each other before Severus finally spoke up.
"Estelle, I was not bored when I kissed you back. As for ignoring you this morning I was not about to be friendly with you in front of your brother." He whispered, though in the silence and the dark lighting in the room it was as if he had shouted. Estelle blinked, frowning. "Then why? You never seem like you ever want to do anything more with me, always keeping your guard and keeping to yourself. You always bring up the fact that you have a horrible past and that I should not be around you--No! I am talking now." She said, as she noticed he was about to fight back as his eyebrows furrowed together and his mouth was open but she stopped him.
"You are not evil Severus Snape. Yes I am aware you did many things in your past but what matters is now. And right now, I know you are trying and desperately wanting a second chance. Many may think you are evil and haven't changed but I know right now, you are not the Death Eater Snape but the tired and worthy of a second chance Severus. So when I ask you why you kissed me, I want to know why and not why you used to think why. If that makes sense, I have no idea, I am rambling now---" She was cut off by Severus's lips on hers, him leaning down where she was sitting in the chair and bending down to her. She was taken aback but kissed back and let her thoughts turn off momentarily.
They parted and Severus looked at her with conflicting emotions but there was some hidden warmth reflected in his eyes. "I kissed you back Estelle because you are the warmth in my life I have missed for my thirty eight years of existence and I wanted it all for myself. It's hard to admit but I was afraid if I kept being near you, my darkness would spill into you but that proved to be wrong. I realized my darkness, that I have tried very hard to show you, was not going into you. Rather, your warmth has leaked into me more than I thought possible." He whispered, staring at her eyes with such emotion Estelle was struck speechless. Her heart pounded and her hands were wrapped around his neck and his was holding onto the chair.
Estelle finally managed a smile and kissed him softly again. He returned it as softly and they smiled at each other. Well, as much as a smile Severus could muster. It was an improvement so Estelle wasn't upset. Estelle giggled, "Sorry for yelling. You Severus Snape tend to make my emotions go all over the place." Severus rolled his eyes but he had a smirk on his face from the memory of her sudden outburst.
The two stayed a bit longer together, talking about nothing but everything. After awhile though, Estelle went back to her quarters with a light skip in her feet and a smile on her face.