Dinner continues quietly with the exception of Reyna continuing to spill everything about her life and her sons'; much to their dismay. I continue to sense Javier staring at me from across the table. But each time I look at him and catch him staring, he quickly looks away. I can see that he is still having a mental debate with himself. He doesn't seem present in the conversation that the rest of us are having, but nods and pretends that he is listening when Reyna makes a comment directed towards him. Even Damien throws small glances at him to which Javier is completely oblivious to. After dinner, I help Reyna to clean up in the kitchen whilst Damien and Javier disappear. Not to fight, I hope.
"You know, you're the first girl I've ever seen Damien brought over," Reyna says as she passes me a plate to dry.
"Really?"
Damien doesn't bring girls over.
"Well... ever since high school at least," she clarifies taking the plate from me to dry. "He would have his entire high school's female population running in and out of that room."
"Oh!"
I would rather not hear about Damien's whore years.
I think Reyna could clearly sense my discomfort, so she quickly added, "I'm sorry! Me and my big mouth. Don't be too worried about that. They all go through that... well except for Javier."
"How so?"
"He is a big softy that one. Gets attached really easily, if you know what I mean. Been like that since he was small. I remember this one time..." Reyna chuckles as if unable to contain the hilarity of the memory. "So, this one time right, he comes running back to me from the park with a bruise on his arm crying. So, you know, I asked him what happened. And he tells me some girl punched him. Now me, I was ready to go punch that little snot-nosed brat for hitting my angel, don't care that that little turd was five years old. But him, sweet little thing, said he thought the girl liked him. So, he continued to try to talk to her but just kept coming back with more bruises."
"That's terrible."
"You telling me. Tried to explain to him, that people who like you, aren't just going to just punch you. But he was convinced and said he was going to prove me wrong. Begged me for weeks to have me help him set the two of them up. So, I finally conceded. Figured it was just a faze. So, he made me help him buy her flowers and went back to the park to give them to her."
"Did she take them?"
"No!" Reyna bursts into a tearful fit of laughter.
Oh my god! Now I see where Damien, gets his storytelling skills from.
"She punched him square in the nose," Reyna says still laughing. "Mean left hook that little snot-nosed brat had. Don't know what the hell her parents were feeding her."
"Poor Javier."
I try to hold in my laughter but I can't and soon Reyna is laughing with me as well.
"Figured it was maybe a lesson he just needed to learn; that people who like you don't show you that through assault. Poor thing was depressed and cried for weeks. Didn't show much interest in girls for a while after that. I actually thought that little cunt had punched him gay or something."
"I don't think that's how that works," I try to explain through my gasping fit.
"Yeah yeah," she says pulling a joint from her back pocket and lighting it. "But we all know he isn't now don't we," she says slyly, raising her an eyebrow at me.
I scrunch my eyebrows at her confused by her tone.
"You think I didn't notice the looks you were giving each other across the table all night?" she says blowing a halo of smoke.
Shocked, I accidentally drop the plate and it crashes to the floor in pieces. Reyna lets out a loud laugh at my obvious discomfort. I quickly bend down to pick up the broken pieces of porcelain to conceal my inflamed face.
"Calm down cherié. You are quite the jittery one, aren't you?"
"I'm so sorry. I just um... I"
"Don't worry your little head about it. C'est rien." She helps me pick up the remaining pieces of the dish. "You just need to se relâcher, you know, relax? It's as if you are afraid of your own shadow," she laughs.
"I'm sorry. I just that... it's complicated."
"Oh, believe me, I am the queen of compliqué. My relationships have never been exactly peachy keen, so I am in no position to judge."
"I-"
"No need to explain," she interjects, waving it off. "I'm just going to say this. My son had a very fragile heart, though he acts tough. He has always been attracted to some very mean women... let's just say cunts, if you don't mind me being so blunt. He may not act as though he cares, but deep down, he is most definitely really hurting okay. Just keep that in mind if you're just playing with his emotions like that last one."
She must be talking about Renée.
"I'm not trying to play with anyone's emotions. I promise."
"Good! I wouldn't want to have to show you my right hook," she laughs.
Just then Javier and Damien walk in, and Reyna quickly tried to hide her pot behind her back and fans away the smoke.
"Mom, are you smoking again?" Javier says annoyed.
"Uh... that was April."
What!
"April does not do drugs."
He walks over to her, with his hand extended, for her to hand over the contraband.
"How would you know that?" she raises her eyebrow at him.
"Just hand over the weed mom."
"Mmhhh," Reyna scoffs like a putting child while handing it over. "You never let me have any fun."
Javier rolls his eyes, ignoring his mother's whining.
"It's getting late. I think it's time I take April home," Damien says coming to take my hand.
"Aww, but we were just starting to pick out baby names."
Damien quickly looks at his mother horrified, and Javier looks at me with wide eyes.
"She's joking!"
I can't even imagine!
"Ok April come one. My mother has done enough damage."
Reyna comes over to hug me.
"Sorry, April that my sons' are such a bore. Please come again and we'll have some real fun; just us girls this time."
"Thank you for having me."
"Anytime," she gives me a wink. "All right I'm going to head off now to find my cocaine."
"Mom!" Javier calls at Reyna retreating form.
"I'm kidding Javie! Jeeze!" Reyna yells back laughing.
"I should probably go check on her," Damien says. "Make sure she's not actually getting cocaine. I'll be right back."
He kisses my cheeks then runs after his mother.
Left in the kitchen is just Javier and me, and the awkwardness between us becomes palpable again. I want to say something but am not sure what. I wish he would just say how he feels instead of being passive. I don't do well with the silent treatment.
"Sorry about my mother," Javier says finally breaking the silence. "She can get kind of..."
"It's ok," I reassure him. "You and Damien make more sense now. If your mother wasn't eccentric, then I would be worried."
I sense a small smile forming on his lips. But as quickly, it goes away. We fall silent again with him looking at me, analyzing my face. He looks conflicted, as though he wants is going to say something but then internally halting himself.
"Javier-"
"I should go." He runs off.
"Wait please!"
I run after him, grabbing his arm to halt his escape. He stops but does not turn to face me.
"I'm just that easy to forget about, huh?"
"I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"Are you seeing him?"
"Who?"
"That guy that was eye fucking you earlier."
"Who Jeremy. We're just friends."
He swiftly turns around to face me and we are now face to face, our noses very close to touching. He looks into my eyes saying nothing. His green irises are filled with so much unsaid emotion that I am at a loss for words.
He really is beautiful.
I reach up to touch his cheek, but he turns his head and backs away. Then just as swiftly, he walks away disappearing into the house and I am left to try and decipher this new normal between us that I am not liking.
"He'll come around," I hear Damien's voice as he descends from the stairs towards me. He takes my hand and leads us out the door. The crisp Florida night is chilly as a soft wind blow as Damien opens the car door for me. I take one last glance back at the house, hoping that Javier will come barreling out... but he does not.