Lisa's POV
Jennie and I become closer and closer day by day. We're always texting each other all day long. From early in the morning, I will greet her then tell her to eat her breakfast. She will reply instantly, telling me the same then when midnight came we are still having a conversation to each other non stop though, sometimes we didn't know what will be our topic. I know it's just repeating but I never get tired of doing this to her.
All in all, I was so happy from what happening to us but there is one exception.
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She didn't know me...
She didn't know that I'm the one she's talking with. All she know is I'm Pranpri. Just like that...
She didn't know I'm Lisa Manoban...
I know, I should be contented from what we are right now but there is still missing. It feels like incomplete.
As I continue thinking about this, my mind feels like it was stabbed by a thousand of knifes. I was holding my temples while wincing in pain right now. I can't do anything but to endure the pain.
A continuous dull pain gets worsened and my head was hurting so bad. I tried to relax myself and massage it but it's not working so I didn't have a choice but to look for my painkillers.
It was said in the medicine that in just one minute you will already feel at ease when you take this so without any hesitations, I immediately drank the painkillers and have one glass of water after that.
But ten minutes have already passed and the pain was still aching so bad.
"It's getting worse and worse..." I complain while holding my temples.
It's not new with me anymore to feel this kind of pain. Because it's simply natural to me. Having a brain tumor is like having an everyday migraine. Don't make me wrong huh? It's just a simile to represent my disease. Well, I didn't say that I always encounter migraine but all I have to say is, it so closed to almost. Meaning, I always deal with head aches frequently.
Is it me or really just me? But these fast few days I noticed that my headaches are always hitting me and this time they can't be called not just a simple one because it's getting terrible.
"Lis, I already prepare for our breakfast. Come here in the kitchen" mom called for me.
"Wait... Mom" I replied still wincing in pain.
"Do you feel anything bad? Does your head is aching? You look so pale. Please tell me so we can bring you in the hospital" mom asked me in concern.
It's really proven that mother knows everything. You can't hide anything from her.
When I hear the word "Hospital" my mouth was interrupted in voicing out what I'm feeling right now.
I don't want to go back again in that place. I'm scared... really scared.
I don't want to hear anymore what they are going to say in my condition.
I don't want to take my chemotherapy. It only makes me suffer. It only hurts me. It only makes me feel that I'm already dying when in fact, I'm still alive.
I'm already tired... really tired.
I want to rest...
"No, we're not going in hospital. I'm fine" I said.
"Lisa plsss it's just an hospital. You're almost doing that for almost one year. You should be used to that" Mom paused for a bit.
"So tell me the truth, you're head is aching so bad right? Plss Lisa tell us" Mom started to cry.
"Sorry Mom, but I really can't" my tears started to fall as I see my mom crying too.
"You should, just plss do it for us" mom convinced me but my decision can't be break.
"No, I'm not going to hospital" I stood up from my sit but I stopped when my sight suddenly get blurred caused by the terrible pain from my head.
Lis, what's happening?
Call for a doctor!
Let's bring her in the Hospital, she's not fine!
That's what I heard when my sight is getting blurred. I don't know what's happening anymore. All I know is I'm already lying on the floor surrounded by my maids and I saw my mom was crying and panicking at the same time. All the people in our mansion, are all panicking. Really panicked!
That's what I remember then after that, I don't know what happened next.
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"Just let her rest for now. She maybe tired and stressed these days" I heard a masculine voice on my side.
"Doc can you explain me the condition of my child?" It was my mom who's asking. Even though my eyes was still closed, I'm still on my senses.
"Ma'am the truth is, your child's tumor is getting worse. If you noticed these days she will always have her headaches or maybe changing of moods? Do you notice that?"
"No, my daughter didn't tell me that"
"Oh I see" the doctor replied.
"But I'll be direct to the point right now. As what I have said earlier, her tumor is getting worse and treatments is not enough anymore to last long her life. We need to be a risk taker and to try something new" seriousness can be hear on his tone while saying it.
"I'm willing to pay whatever amount is, just make sure my daughter's life was safe" my mother's voice cracked a little bit.
"But I'm sorry I can't assure you if this will work 100% sure" the doctor's tone suddenly become sad.
"What do you mean by that" you can hear the sound of desperation on her tone while asking that.
"We are planning to set an operation to remove her tumor but I'm not so sure if this will be safe. There's a chance that your daughter gets well after this but this is so dangerous" he paused for a bit and releases a deep sigh before composing himself again.
"There's also chance that your daughter will never awake anymore after the surgery so it's a 50-50" the doctor seriously told to my mother
I tightened my grip on my bedsheet after hearing this. I really wanted to cry and fly into a rage but I suppressed my feelings. They didn't know that I'm already awake and I won't do that in front of my mom.
"I'm sorry ma'am but that's the only we can do for your daughter. The decision was yours if you will take that chance. I will give you time to think about this" and after saying that the doctor leaved my mom with tears in pain.
I thought...
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I already accept my fate...
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I thought I can handle this if ever this time came...
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But I was wrong
I can't accept it... I can't accept that this will be my end. I'm scared to face death...
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I'm scared to left them...
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My mom... My Dad... Rose... And lastly, Jennie...
Now that I'm getting attached to her, the more I want to continue my life... The more I want to fight this shits although inside, I'm already giving up.
Yes, I already want to get rest but it changed when I met her.
It changed when I met my Jennie Kim...
"Lis, I'll be right back. I'm just going somewhere" I feel my mom's lips touched my forehead then after that, I heard the door shut.
When I'm already alone, I quickly get up from my bed and checked my phone that is placed right beside the table.
I quickly open the messages.
From: Bestfriend Chipmunk 🐿️
Hey!! I'm here on your home. Where are you???
Received: 5:00 pm
I'm still waiting here? Plss reply asap!
Received: 5:30 pm
Lis? Plss reply!!!
Received: 5:40 pm
I have something to tell you. Wherever you are right now plss came home now. This is so unbelievable. I can't wait anymore to tell it to you, PRANPI!!!!
Received: 6:00 pm
Fine!! It seems like you're not coming home today, I'll just tell it tomorrow. Ready yourself, you will be surprised!
Received: 7:00 pm
I cried when I read her messages. I will definitely missed having conversations with Rose, my bestfriend if ever I already leaved her. Though, I'm already dead and lifeless lying in my coffin that time, I'm sure I will definitely missed our bondings, our memories, our non sense talks and... And... And ok fine I'd admit including her, I will really missed her.
Don't worry Rose, I will always visit you as a ghost.
I laughed from that thought but at the same time I'm serious about this. If ever I have a chance to become a ghost after death well, I won't hesitate to visit my bestfriend first and showed myself to her to kill my boredom as a lifeless body.
From: Jongina (KAIsin) 😶
Wish me luck, Lis. I'm with Jennie right now having our practice for dance competition. I'm so nervous with her 😭😭😭
Received: 3:00 pm
My eyebrows get squinted after reading this. These words made me feel that I want someone to die before me or to punch someone's face until his face is already not recognize because of the bruises and wounds he received. I'm not telling that it is Kai I'm referring for but it's so closed to that.
For Pete's sake, I'm so jealous with him because he can have Jennie in his side all the time!!!
I continue to read his next message.
Lis are you fine right now? My mom told me everything about what happened to you? What are you doing right now? Did you already eat your food? I will visit you in the hospital later after classes.
You can do that, Lis!!! Just don't lose hope and always remember my handsome face hehehe 😂 Just kidding 😭 Fighting cous! God always love you, including the person you're always texting with and of course, me! 😘 👉💪
Received: 5:00 pm
Ok fine! Maybe at first we're not really in good terms but I can't deny the fact that I will miss him also. Although we're always quarrelling at each other but we always end up helping each other in the times we are in need.
I know Kai really loves me even he's not really showy but he is. I proved that when I'm still on my 6th grade. There's a time I broke the base in our teachers room and in our school there's always a punishment for your wrong mistake. When our teacher ask who's that person, I'm really surprised when Kai accepted this as his mistake. I should be the one who get punished that time but because Kai already admitted it, he's the one who get punished.
I ask him why he did this after that but Kai reasoned me that he just do it because his mom told him to protect me but I know to myself that he has another reason.
He really loves me like his sister. He was just shy to admit it because we mark in our mind that we are enemies that time. But I know he really cares for me in spite of that.
I read the other messages and my hand hastily stopped when I saw the text from the person I really liked.
From: Jennie Kim
You didn't reply anymore?
Received: 2:00 pm
My class was so boring. I wish you are here. 😴 I want to talk with you 😙
Received: 2:20 pm
Heeeeeeeeeeeey!
Received: 2:25 pm
Are you busy?
Received: 2:30 pm
Prans! Prans! Prans!
Received: 2:32 pm
You didn't have load? Wait, I can give you just plss reply ok? 😊
Received: 2:38 pm
Hey? Do you receive it?
Received: 2:40 pm
Plss reply atleast dot 😒
Received: 2:50 pm
Hey I'm still waiting for you 😔
Received: 2:55 pm
Tsssk! Bye! 😒 My partner for dance competition was already here 😡
Received: 2:59 pm
I miss you 🤧
Received: 3:00 pm
That's her last text with me then after that I didn't received any of it anymore.
I really wanted to reply back but it only hurts me. It only hurts me knowing the fact that I'm already dying.
My times with her are already counted and sooner or later, I know I will leave her and I don't want it to happen. But I don't have choice too.
There's no chance of us anymore, maybe we're not really for each other. Fate just let us meet but we're really not meant to be.
It's hard to accept but that's the reality of my life. Maybe, I was just born to be someone's memory.
Just like the first love of the protagonist in movies where in the end, told by his or her grandchildren. Getting remembered how great his first love is, but when the children already ask about me, the protagonist can't answer because simply, we didn't end up each other or the best reason is I'm already dead.
Just like that... And it's kinda sad... So sad! But I can't do anything about it because it's my fate.
A/N: So that's the start of my boring updates. I'm doing this chapter while having my work immersion in the office lately, hahaha I'm so brave from doing that. Luckily, this day my boss didn't give me loads of work so I take this opportunity to write a new update. Thanks God my boss didn't accosted me from just using my cellphone all day long on her office 😌😌
If you think this chapter is a kind of confusing well, I'm sorry because as what I have said lately, I'm doing my work immersion or O.J.T while writing this so I didn't have any time anymore to reread it so just stick with this.
Guys share kulang din nakita ko kasi sa Instagram post ni Kai na nasa SM sya as in Henry Sy. Curious lang ako, ano kaya yun branch lang or sa Pinas talaga? Check nyo guys sa post nya. Share ko lang hahaha 😄😄😄
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