After showering and changing, Emerson and Nate stood at the end of the driveway with his siblings and father, waiting on the bus.
Emerson and Nate had graduated a year ago, but they had always waited with Greg and Keithie.
"Have the best last day of school my gorgeous children! I love you all!" Roxanne waved out the window as she drove the car out.
"Bye Mom!"
"Bye Roxanne!"
"Last day of school, Greg. Last chance to tell Nancy Arbuckle." Keithie laughed, looking over at Greg.
"You still have a crush on her?" Nate chuckled, wrapping his arms around Emerson's waist.
"Leave him alone." Emerson elbowed him.
"Nancy Arbuckle?" Lenny asked, bouncing a ball on Becky's helmet as she round around him in circles. "You like a girl? Is that why you've been taking those long showers?"
"No!" Greg quickly defended himself, "I, I'm conditioning my hair. That's all I do in the shower. Condition my hair."
"That's not what the deer told me." Lenny laughed.
"That deer's a lie!"
"I heard." Becky said, still circling around them, "That too much conditioning can make you go blind."
"What?! Where'd you hear that?!" Lenny asked.
"Higgins."
"Oh, I should kill him!" Lenny said.
"He's too chicken to ask her out, dad, because she's the hottest girl in school, and Greg is fugly." Keithie said.
"So what he's fugly? All the guys in our family are fugly, well not Nate. That don't stop us from getting the hot chicks. Look at me look at you mother. I mean, that makes no sense, only like in a Hollywood movie or something." Lenny laughed.
"All the guys at school like her dad!" Greg groaned.
"And you'll be the guy who ends up with her, you know why? You're going to follow my three step program." Lenny told him, "Number one: make the girl smile. Number two: tell her she has a nice smile. Number three: say she had to go out with you that night."
"Why that night?" Greg and Nate asked.
"Because it gives her less time to think about how fugly you are. Because you are fugly. It worked on your mother."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And Keithie's right, I'm too chicken to even talk to her." Greg sighed.
"Hey!" Lenny yelled and Nate chuckled as he felt Emerson body jolt in surprise, "You're a Feder! And Feder's aren't afraid of women; that's not how I'm raising you."
"By the way, Dad, did you ask Mom if I can play football?" Keithie asked.
"No! I was scared! I was afraid she was going to yell at me in that accent no one understands!" Lenny told them.
"Come on Becky!" Bean came riding up on his bike and Emerson smiled at the little boy. "It's eight o'clock, and school starts at eight-fifteen, which means we only have twenty-five minutes to get there."
"What the hell?" Nate asked.
"Daddy, you promise. Mr. Gigglesworth will be better by bed time?" Becky asked her dad.
"Will you stop worrying about him, he'll be fine. I love you." He kissed Becky on the head, pushing her towards Bean, "Have the best day! And read the street signs, okay! Don't let Bean! God, riding their bikes to school. Couldn't do that in LA."
"Yeah, let's be glad there's no crazy people out here." Keithie said just as the bus pulled up.
"And he spoke to soon." Emerson mumbled against her boyfriends chest, "I'm so glad I spent the last three years driving to school."
Even though the Feders' had been living in New England for ten months, Nate had been there for almost a year because he moved into the house to be closer to Emerson.
"How you doin' Nick?" Lenny asked the bus driver.
"My wife's leaving me. After three weeks." Nick told him.
"Three weeks? That's not bad for you, what happened?" Lenny asked.
"She found me eating a banana with my butt."
Nate quickly brought his girlfriends face closer to his chest to stop her laughter from being heard by Nick and he pressed his face against her hair to hide his own.
"And she didn't like that?" Lenny asked, glancing at his oldest son and his girlfriend.
"She was really really bummed out. But I probably shouldn't have done it at her mom's house." Nick said and Emerson lost it, laughing loudly as her shoulders shook with laughter.
"Yeah, you seem a little extra out of it today, what's-what's going on?"
"Yeah, I'm a little medicated." Nick blinked as he leaned forwards. "I met a very reliable doctor at a concert and he floated me a couple of pills to make me feel better." Then his voice changed, "YOU FEEL WORSE!" Then he smiled.
Lenny decided to drive all the kids on the bus to school and with the help of both Nate and Greg, they got the bus driver into a seat. Then Nate and Emerson sat in the seat behind Lenny.
XXX
"Hell and welcome, I am your new bus driver." Lenny spoke with a stupid voice as he opened the door open to face the McKenzie family.
"Finally got yourself a job!" Kurt joked with him.
"Actually, I'm filling in for Julio Englacias bak there." Lenny said.
"With tag a longs." Nate spoke, poking his head around the seat.
"Hey Deanne!" Lenny exclaimed.
"Happy anniversary!" Emerson, Nate and Lenny told them.
"Thank you guys." She spoke with a smile.
"They remembered." Kurt said climbing on the bus. "Isn't that sweet?"
"She forgot?" Nate asked.
"Yeah, she forgot! I got the break out of jail free cards in the world!" Kurt said.
"I want one of those!" Lenny exclaimed.
"Means I can do stuff like this: Hey, honey, I'm gonna take a ride to work with Lenny! Don't worry about forgetting the 20th, I'm sure you'll remember the 30th."
"I love you." Deanne gave him a fake smile.
"I'm sure you do. Deep down." Kurt said, sitting in the seat across from the couple. "I'm gonna abuse this card, maybe I'll walk on the good rug with my shoes on, or maybe have a nice non-diet soda with my dinner. Not just one either, a whole damn pitcher!"
"Can I have one of those?" Nate turned to his girlfriend.
"Yeah." Emerson nodded, pulling her vibrating phone out her pocket, "If you wanna be single."
"So, no get outta free card?"
"Nope."
"Okay."
"You know what I'd really like to do? Throw first night of summer party."
"We can't do that, we got kids!"
"Just one problem though. My house is too small. Yours on the other hand..."
"No, last party I had was in high school!"
"That was the best night we ever had! We all hooked up with chicks! Come on, why not?"
"Because we already have chicks. And high cholesterol now, so let's just...if you wanna come over with Dee, that's fine."
"Emmy," Lenny called his son's girlfriend, "You hear from your dad about that brother?"
"He just texted and said he was at the trainstation and I'd meet him some time later on." She laid her head on her boyfriends shoulder.
"Hey, where'd you get those shoes?" A big, long blonde haired guy's voice came from the back and Nate and Emerson turned their heads to find him talking to Donna. "Losers R' Us?"
"I made them." Donna replied to him.
"You made them? Where? In a toilet?"
Charlotte glared at him, "Get lost Duffy."
"Yeah, leave her alone." Keithie stood up for her and Duffy grabbed the collar of his shirt.
"Hey, what'd you say Hollywood? Got something to say to me?"
"Hey man!" Nate exclaimed, standing up and making his way towards the back. "Get your hands the hell of my brother!"
"Nate, you can go to jail if you hit him." Emerson stood up and tugged on his arm.
"Attention K-Mart shoppers. Uh, let's find a seat please." Lenny's voice came over the radio. "Yes, you in the camouflage jacket with the Mariah Carey hairdo. Yeah, just pop a squat. Thank you."
He ignored Lenny, so Emerson pushed him a little, "Hey beanbag with arms and legs! Take a seat or seats before someone gets hurt and the someone will be you if I find you trying to touch my little brother."