Jacob's POV
Seth and I had spent the most part of our night shift running the perimeter that we had made. Occasionally we'd go off track on side trips, checking to see if the pack had ventured any closer to our own boundary line and to see if I could recognise any patterns in new patrol routes. So far we had found nothing, which was a good sign I guessed, if the Cullens were going to make a hunting trip anytime soon they could rush out of here in any direction basically.
It was easier to run with Seth and Jesse than it was to do the same with Leah. Though she was trying - trying hard - there was always an edge to her thoughts. She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to feel the softening toward the vampires that was going on in our heads. She didn't want to deal with Seth and Jesse's cosy friendship with them, a friendship that was only getting stronger.
Funny, though, I'd thought her biggest issue would just be me. We'd always gotten on each other's nerves when we were in Sam's pack. But there was no antagonism toward me now at all, just the Cullens and Bella and Aria slightly, but that was only because she was a half vampire. Maybe it was simply gratitude that I wasn't forcing her to leave. Maybe it was because I understood her hostility better now. Whichever, running with Leah wasn't nearly as bad as I'd expected.
Of course, she hadn't eased up that much. The food and clothes Esme had sent for her were all taking a trip downriver right now. The small elk she'd taken down around noon had not totally satisfied her appetite. It did make her mood worse, though. Leah hated eating raw.
"Maybe we should run a sweep east?" Seth suggested. "Go deep, see if they're out there waiting."
"I was thinking about that," I agreed. "But let's do it when we're all awake, before we trade off for our day shifts at ten. I don't want to let down our guard. We should do it before the Cullens give it a try, though. Soon."
"Right." Seth concluded.
That got me thinking.
If the Cullens were able to get out of the immediate area safely, they really ought to keep on going. They probably should have taken off the second we'd come to warn them. They had to be able to afford other digs. And they had friends up north, right? Take Bella and run. It seemed like an obvious answer to their problems.
I probably ought to suggest that, but I was afraid they would listen to me. And I didn't want to have Bella disappear - of course Aria would tell me if she had made it or not, but I wanted to be there during her last human days or just last days in general.
"Oh, I already asked Edward about that," Seth thought, he had asked before I woke up yesterday morning and joined them downstairs for breakfast.
"What?"
"I asked him why they hadn't taken off yet. Gone up to Tanya's place or something. Somewhere too far for Sam to come after them." He explained.
"So what did he say? Are they waiting for a window?"
"No. They're not leaving."
"Why not? That's just stupid."
"Not really," Seth said, defensive now. "It takes some time to build up the kind of medical access that Carlisle has here. He's got all the stuff he needs to take care of Bella, and the credentials to get more. That's one of the reasons they want to make a hunting run. Carlisle thinks they're going to need more blood for Bella soon. She's using up all the O negative they stored for her. He doesn't like depleting the stockpile. He's going to buy some more. Did you know you can buy blood? If you're a doctor."
I wasn't ready to be logical yet. "Still seems stupid. They could bring most of it with them, right? And steal what they need wherever they go. Who cares about legal crap when you're the undead?"
"Edward doesn't want to take any risks moving her."
"She's better than she was."
"Seriously," Seth agreed. In his head, he was comparing my memories of Bella hooked up to the tubes in the hospital bed. "But she can't move around much, you know. That thing is kicking the hell out of her."
I swallowed back the stomach acid in my throat. "Yeah, I know."
"Besides, Bella didn't want to force Aria into leaving. Bella needs her to help comfort the baby but she knew Aria would struggle leaving you and her family." Seth rambled on... I had forgotten about how much Bella needed Aria's help. The Baby Whisperer. "It broke another of her ribs," he told me sombrely.
My stride faltered, and I staggered a step before I regained my rhythm.
"Carlisle taped her up again. Just another crack, he said. Then Rosalie said something about how even normal human babies have been known to crack ribs. Edward looked like he was gonna rip her head off."
"Too bad he didn't." I commented snidely.
Seth was in full report mode now - knowing it was all vitally interesting to me, though I'd never asked to hear it. "Bella's been running a fever off and on today. Just low grade - sweats and then chills. Carlisle's not sure what to make of it - she might just be sick. Her immune system can't be in peak form right now."
"Yeah, I'm sure it's just a coincidence."
"She's in a good mood, though. She was chatting with Charlie, laughing and all—"
"Charlie!" I cut him off icily. "What?! What do you mean, she was talking to Charlie?!"
Now Seth's pace stuttered; my fury surprised him. "Guess he calls every day to talk to her. Sometimes her mom calls, too. Bella sounds so much better now, so she was reassuring him that she was on the mend—" On the mend? What the hell are they thinking?! How could Aria allow this? Get Charlie's hopes up just so that he can be destroyed even worse when she dies? I thought they were getting him ready for that! Trying to prepare him! Why would she set him up like this? "She might not die," Seth thought quietly.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Seth. Even if she pulls through this, she's not doing it human. She knows that, and so do the rest of them." It was weird grouping Aria with them... I'd have to get used to that. "If she doesn't die, she's going to have to do a pretty convincing impersonation of a corpse, kid. Either that, or disappear. I thought they were trying to make this easier on Charlie. Why...?"
"Think it's Bella's idea. No one said anything, but Edward's face kinda went right along with what you're thinking now." So maybe Aria doesn't agree with it, she's just trying to make Bella happy. It sucked I was on the same wavelength with Edward yet again.
We ran in silence for a another half hour, give or take, before Jesse phased in ready for his shift. He went on his way to go wake Leah.
When Seth and I had changed, we entered the house without hesitating but when we got to the lounge, both of our hearts faltered with panic as the only people in the room was Esme and Edward with a dead and pained expression on his face. "She's all right," Edward whispered. "Or, the same, I should say."
Edward was on the couch with his face in his hands; he hadn't looked up to speak. Esme was next to him, her arm wrapped tight around his shoulders.
"Hello, Jacob, Seth," she said. "I'm so glad you came back."
"Me, too," Alice said with a deep sigh. She came prancing down the stairs, making a face. Like I was late for an appointment.
"Uh, hey," I said. It felt weird to try to be polite.
"Where's Aria and Bella?"
"Bathroom," Alice told me. "Mostly fluid diet, you know. Plus, the whole pregnancy thing does that to you, I hear."
"Ah."
I stood there awkwardly, rocking back and forth on my heels whilst Seth made himself at home, plopping down onto the couch beside Esme.
"Oh, wonderful," Rosalie grumbled. I whipped my head around and saw her coming from a hall half-hidden behind the stairway. Aria then appeared behind her with Bella cradled gently in her arms, a happy smile on her face for me. "I knew I smelled something nasty."
And, just like before, Bella's face lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning when she saw Seth. "Hi guys." She breathed cheerfully,
"Hi, Bells."
"Hey, Bella." Seth said giving her a wave.
Esme and Edward both got up. I watched how carefully Aria laid Bella out on the couch. I watched how, despite that, Bella turned white and held her breath - like she was set on not making any noise no matter how much it hurt.
Edward brushed his hand across her forehead and then along her neck. He tried to make it look as if he was just sweeping her hair back, but it looked like a doctor's examination to me.
"Are you cold?" he murmured.
"I'm fine."
"Bella, you know what Carlisle told you," Rosalie said. "Don't downplay anything. It doesn't help us take care of either of you."
"Okay, I'm a little cold. Edward, can you hand me that blanket?"
Aria rolled her eyes. "I'm on it." She said sitting beside Bella, allowing her to cuddle into her side.
I moved to sit on the floor next the sofa and held Aria's hand. With Seth on the other side of her and me on the floor, Bella had her own bubble of warmth.
"Thanks, guys," she said, before shivering once.
"You're welcome," Aria said. Edward sat on the arm of the sofa beside Aria, his eyes always on Bella's face.
It was too much to hope, with all the super-hearing in the room, that no one would notice my stomach rumbling.
"Rosalie, why don't you get Jacob and Seth something from the kitchen?" Alice said. She was invisible now, sitting quietly behind the back of the sofa.
Rosalie stared at the place Alice's voice had come from in disbelief.
"Thanks, anyway, Alice, but I don't think I'd want to eat something Blondie's spit in. I'd bet my system wouldn't take too kindly to venom." I said as Seth watched us in silence, I could tell he would prefer to have something cooked by Esme or Edward.
"Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality." Alice said, still hid behind the back of the couch.
"Of course not," Blondie said in a sugar-sweet voice that I immediately distrusted. She got up and breezed out of the room.
Edward and Aria sighed.
"You'd tell me if she poisoned it, right?" I asked.
"Yes, my love." Aria promised, letting go of my hand to play with the hair on the back of my head endearingly.
There was a lot of banging in the kitchen, and - weirdly - the sound of metal protesting as it was abused. Edward and Aria sighed again, but smiled just a little, too. Seth's expression was worrying as he looked between the three of us. Then Rosalie was back before I could think much more about it. With a pleased smirk, she set a silver bowl on the floor next to me and in front of Seth.
"Enjoy, mongrels." She smirked but faltered in her triumph when Aria snarled at her with bared teeth.
They had once probably been big mixing bowls, but she'd bent the bowls back in on themselves until they were shaped almost exactly like dog dishes. I had to be impressed with her quick craftsmanship. And her attention to detail. She'd scratched the word Fido into the side of mine and Lucky on Seth's in excellent handwriting.
Because the food looked pretty good - steak, no less, and a big baked potato with all the fixings - I told her, "Thanks, Blondie."
She snorted.
"Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?" I asked, and then continued on the same breath, "a golden retriever."
"I've heard that one, too," she said, no longer smiling.
"I'll keep trying," I promised, and then I dug in.
She made a disgusted face and rolled her eyes. Then she sat in one of the armchairs and started flicking through channels on the big TV so fast that there was no way she could really be surfing for something to watch.
The food was good, even with the vampire stink in the air. I was getting really used to that. Huh. Not something I'd been expecting to be able to happen.
When I was finished - though I was considering licking the bowl, just to give Rosalie something to complain about - I felt Aria's fingers pulling softly through my hair again. She patted it down against the back of my neck. "Time for a haircut, huh?" I guessed.
"You're getting a little shaggy," she said. "Maybe - "
"Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris?" I quipped.
She chuckled. "Probably."
"No thanks," I said before she could really offer. "I'm good for a few more weeks."
"I do really miss your long hair..." She looked as if she was reliving memories in her own head as an absentminded smile spread over her lips. Bella nodded subtly too, I could tell she was thinking the same.
Which made me wonder how long she was good for. I tried to think of a polite way to ask. "So... urm... what's the, er, date? You know, the due date for the little monster." I asked Bella and Aria smacked the back of my head, jolting my head forward. "I'm serious," I told them. "I want to know how long I'm gonna have to be on guard for." How long you're gonna be here, I added in my head. I turned to look at Bella then. Her eyes were thoughtful; the stress line was there between her brows again.
"I don't know," she murmured. "Not exactly. Obviously, we're not going with the nine-month model here, and we can't get an ultrasound, so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am. Normal people are supposed to be about forty centimetres here" - she ran her finger right down the middle of her bulging stomach - "when the baby is fully grown. One centimetre for every week. I was thirty this morning, and I've been gaining about two centimetres a day, sometimes more—"
Two weeks to a day, the days flying by. Her life speeding by in fast-forward. How many days did that give her, if she was counting to forty? Four? It took me a minute to figure out how to swallow.
"You okay?" she asked.
I nodded, not really sure how my voice would come out. Aria's hand went back to playing with my hair, trying to comfort me. Edward's face was turned away from us as he listened to my thoughts, but I could see his reflection in the glass wall. He was the burning man again.
"It's going to be okay," Bella sort of crooned. It didn't matter that the words meant nothing. She said it the way people sang those senseless nursery rhymes to kids.
"Right," I muttered.
It was quiet for a minute. Edward put his face back together. He looked at the TV as Rosalie went on flipping through the channels. She was into the six hundreds. I wondered how long it would take to get back to the beginning. I looked back to Bella then, her eyes were closed as she rested her head on Aria's shoulder, a soft snore escaping the back of her throat.
"She's exhausted," Edward murmured. "It's been a long day. A hard day. The bathroom breaks are keeping her up."
I didn't look at him, just stared down at the floor. "Seth said it broke another of her ribs yesterday morning, before I woke up."
"Yes. It's making it hard for her to breathe." Aria said softly in a semi-broken voice.
"Great."
Occasionally, the mind-reading thing saved time. For example, maybe I wouldn't have to make a big production out of the accusation about what was going on with Charlie. That mess. Edward and Aria would just hear exactly how furious -
"Yes," Edward agreed. "It's not a good idea."
"Then why?" Why was Bella telling her father she was on the mend when it would only make him more miserable?
"She can't bear his anxiety."
"So it's better—"
"No. It's not better." Aria snapped quietly, this was her poor Uncle Charlie we were talking about. She had been more present in his life than Bella had. "But we're not going to force her to do anything that makes her unhappy now. Whatever happens, this makes her feel better."
"We'll deal with the rest afterwards." Edward added and Aria looked like she wanted to cry.
That didn't sound right. Bella wouldn't just shuffle Charlie's pain off to some later date, for someone else to face. Even dying. That wasn't her. If I knew Bella, she had to have some other plan.
"She's very sure she's going to live," Edward said.
"But not human," I protested.
"No, not human. But she hopes to see Charlie again, anyway."
Oh, this just got better and better.
"See. Charlie." I finally looked at him, my eyes bugging. "Afterwards. See Charlie when she's all sparkly white with the bright red eyes. I'm not a vampire, so maybe I'm missing something, but Charlie seems like kind of a strange choice for her first meal." Aria slapped the back of my head again.
Edward sighed. "She knows she won't be able to be near him for at least a year. She thinks she can stall. Tell Charlie she has to go to a special hospital on the other side of the world. Keep in contact through phone calls—"
"That's insane."
"Yes." He agreed.
"Charlie's not stupid. Even if she doesn't kill him, he's going to notice a difference."
"She's sort of banking on that."
I continued to stare, waiting for him to explain.
"She wouldn't be ageing, of course, so that would set a time limit, even if Charlie accepted whatever excuse she comes up with for the changes." He smiled faintly. "Do you remember when you tried to tell the girls about your transformation? How you made them guess?"
I heard Aria gulp beside me, I glanced at her. He eyes were fixed to the window trying not to draw attention to herself. I can't believe I was stupid enough to tell them in the same way. It still upset her. "Sh-she told you about that?" I stuttered.
"Yes. She was explaining her... idea. You see, she's not allowed to tell Charlie the truth - it would be very dangerous for him. But he's a smart, practical man. She thinks he'll come up with his own explanation. She assumes he'll get it wrong." Edward snorted. "After all, we hardly adhere to vampire canon. He'll make some wrong assumption about us, like she did in the beginning, and we'll go along with it. She thinks she'll be able to see him... from time to time."
"Insane," I repeated.
"Yes," he agreed again.
It was weak of him to let her get her way on this, just to keep her happy now. It wouldn't turn out well. Which made me think that he probably wasn't expecting her to live to try out her crazy plan. Placating her, so that she could be happy for a little while longer. Like four more days.
"I'll deal with whatever comes," he whispered, and he turned his face down and away so that I couldn't even read his reflection. "I won't cause her pain now."
"Four days?"I asked.
He didn't look up. "Approximately."
"Then what?"
"What do you mean, exactly?"
I thought about what Bella had said. About the thing being wrapped up nice and tight in something strong, something like vampire skin. So how did that work? How did it get out?
"From what little research we've been able to do, it would appear the creatures use their own teeth to escape the womb," he whispered.
I had to pause to swallow back the bile.
"Research?" I asked weakly.
"That's why you haven't seen Jasper and Emmett around. That's what Carlisle is doing now. Trying to decipher ancient stories and myths, as much as we can with what we have to work with here, looking for anything that might help us predict the creature's behaviour." Aria explained meekly, you could tell from her face she'd thrown herself back into conversation to distract herself from her thoughts. Dammit!
Stories? If there were myths, then...
"Then is this thing not the first of its kind?" Edward asked, anticipating my question. "Maybe. It's all very sketchy. The myths could easily be the products of fear and imagination. Though..." - he hesitated - "your myths are true, are they not? Perhaps these are, too. They do seem to be localised, linked—"
"How did you find... ?"
"There was a woman we encountered in South America. She'd been raised in the traditions of her people. She'd heard warnings about such creatures, old stories that had been passed down."
"What were the warnings?" I whispered.
"That the creature must be killed immediately. Before it could gain too much strength."
Just like Sam thought. Was he right?
"Of course, their legends say the same of us. That we must be destroyed. That we are soulless murderers." Edward laughed one hard chuckle, Aria smiled a little. There must be a hidden joke in there.
"What did their stories say about the... mothers?"
Agony ripped across his face, and, as I flinched away from his pain, I knew he wasn't going to give me an answer. I doubted he could talk. It was Rosalie - who'd been so still and quiet since Bella'd fallen asleep that I'd nearly forgotten her - who answered.
She made a scornful noise in the back of her throat. "Of course there were no survivors," she said. No survivors, blunt and uncaring. "Giving birth in the middle of a disease-infested swamp with a medicine man smearing sloth spit across your face to drive out the evil spirits was never the safest method. Even the normal births went badly half the time. None of them had what this baby has - caregivers with an idea of what the baby needs, who try to meet those needs. A doctor with a totally unique knowledge of vampire nature. A plan in place to deliver the baby as safely as possible. Venom that will repair anything that goes wrong. The baby will be fine. And those other mothers would probably have survived if they'd had that - if they even existed in the first place. Something I am not convinced of." She sniffed disdainfully.
The baby, the baby. Like that was all that mattered. Bella's life was a minor detail to her - easy to blow off.
Edward's face went white as snow. His hands curved into claws. Totally egotistical and indifferent, Rosalie twisted in her chair so that her back was to him. He leaned forward, shifting into a crouch.
"Allow me," I suggested inside my head.
He paused, raising one eyebrow. I turned to Aria with a smirk and she had the same look on her face.
Silently, I lifted my doggy bowl off the floor. Then, with a quick, powerful flick of my wrist, I threw it into the back of Blondie's head so hard that - with an earsplitting bang - it smashed flat before it ricocheted across the room and snapped the round top piece off the thick newel post at the foot of the stairs.
Bella twitched but didn't wake up. Seth jolted awake, looking completely alarmed. To be honest I had forgotten he was here.
"Dumb blonde," I muttered.
Rosalie turned her head slowly, and her eyes were blazing.
"You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair."
That did it.
I busted up and laughed so hard that tears ran down my face. Aria tried to muffle her laughter with her hand, trying to stop herself from shaking and waking Bella. From behind the couch, I heard Alice's tinkling laugh join in.
I wondered why Rosalie didn't spring. I sort of expected it. But then I realised that our laughing had woken Bella up, though she'd slept right through the real noise.
"What's so funny?" she mumbled.
"I got food in her hair," I told her, chortling again.
"I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie hissed.
"S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory," I countered. "Just blow in her ear."
"Get some new jokes," she snapped.
"C'mon, Jake. Leave Rose alo - " Bella broke off mid-sentence and sucked in a sharp breath. In the same second, Edward was leaning over the top of me, ripping the blanket out of the way. She seemed to convulse, her back arching off the sofa. Aria held her carefully, rubbing soothing circles over her stomach as she whispered towards it.
"Be careful in there little one, mommy's hurting." It made me sick to see she was so caring towards it still.
"He's just," Bella panted, "stretching." Her lips were white, and she had her teeth locked together like she was trying to hold back a scream.
Edward put both hands on either side of her face.
"Carlisle?" he called in a tense, low voice.
"Right here," the doctor said. I hadn't heard him come in.
"Okay," Bella said, still breathing hard and shallow. "Think it's over. Poor kid doesn't have enough room, that's all. He's getting so big. You know, he reminds me of you, Jake," she said - affectionate tone - still gasping.
Aria's head snapped up from her whisperings, her eyes looking at me with worry. "Do not compare me to that thing," I spit out through my teeth.
"I just meant your growth spurt," she said, looking like I'd hurt her feelings. Good. "You shot right up. I could watch you getting taller by the minute. He's like that, too. Growing so fast."
I bit my tongue to keep from saying what I wanted to say - hard enough that I tasted blood in my mouth. Of course, it would heal before I could swallow. That's what Bella needed. To be strong like me, to be able to heal....
She took an easier breath and then relaxed back into the sofa, her body going limp. Aria covered her with the blanket and sat up on the edge of her seat.
"Hmm," Carlisle murmured. I looked up, and his eyes were on me.
"What?" I demanded.
Edward's head leaned to one side as he reflected on whatever was in Carlisle's head.
"You know that I was wondering about the fetus's genetic makeup, Jacob. About his chromosomes."
"What of it?"
"Well, taking your similarities into consideration—"
"Similarities?" I growled, not appreciating the plural.
"The accelerated growth, and the fact that Alice cannot see either of you."
I felt my face go blank. I'd forgotten about that other one.
"Well, I wonder if that means that we have an answer. If the similarities are gene-deep."
"Twenty-four pairs," Edward muttered under his breath.
"You don't know that."
"No. But it's interesting to speculate," Carlisle said in a soothing voice.
"Yeah. Just fascinating"
Bella's light snore started up again, accenting my sarcasm nicely.
They got into it then, quickly taking the genetics conversation to a point where the only words I could understand were the the's and the and's. And my own name, of course. Alice and Aria joined in, commenting now and then. Aria's argument was that she felt like it was more like her but Edward wouldn't accept that.
Even though they were talking about Aria and I and our chromosomes, I didn't try to figure out the conclusions they were drawing. I had other things on my mind, a few facts I was trying to reconcile.
Fact one, Bella'd said that the creature was protected by something as strong as vampire skin, something that was too impenetrable for ultrasounds, too tough for needles. Fact two, Rosalie had said they had a plan to deliver the creature safely. Fact three, Edward had said that - in myths - other monsters like this one would chew their way out of their own mothers.
I shuddered.
And that made a sick kind of sense, because, fact four, not many things could cut through something as strong as vampire skin. The half-creature's teeth - according to myth - were strong enough. My teeth were strong enough.
And vampire teeth were strong enough.
It was hard to miss the obvious, but I sure wished I could. Because I had a pretty good idea exactly how Rosalie planned to get that thing "safely" out.
Aria's POV
Jacob was lost inside his own head. Going over and over the image of the baby tearing Bella apart to escape and Rosalie viciously mauling at Bella's stomach to help it.
Seth had fallen peacefully back to sleep as soon as he had been startled earlier on and it was during the chromosome conversation I decided Jacob needed some too. I took his hand, ignoring his lost and bewildered expression and led him up the stairs to my bedroom.
I walked him over to my bed and pushed him back so he was sitting and pulled his T-shirt over his head. "Four days." He mumbled tiredly, his eyes glaring down at the floor.
"What?" I whispered back to him, my hands cupping his soft cheeks. "What's on your mind?" I wanted him to tell me rather than to cheat.
He looked up at me with a raised eyebrow, wondering why I didn't just look for myself. He sighed when he realised I wasn't going to give in and brought his hands up to hold my waist.
"I can't lose you like that." He muttered, looking away from me and towards the window. The light from the lamp casting a shadow across his face.
"You won't." I promised, kneeling down between his legs so that we could be eye level. I caught his face in my hand and turned it so he would look at me. "And Bella's not gone, she might—"
"She won't." He pulled me closer to hug me into his body, his head resting on top of mine. "You can't put me through what Edward is going through. I can't risk losing you."
"Jacob." I sighed, pulling away from him to look into his dark eyes again. "It wouldn't be possible anyway. I'm part vampire, female vampires can't procreate. Our bodies are stuck in time. Frozen. It's not possible." I swallowed the lump in my throat as I struggled to speak. It was my turn to break the eye contact this time, but only to hide my tears.
"But you are human too, and if it's anything like that—"
"Jacob listen to me. Children can't happen for us... not from me anyway. I haven't had a period since I was fully human and that was almost a year ago." I held his hands tightly in my own, hoping he would finally absorb what I had been trying to tell him over the past couple of days. "I'm sorry." My voice wobbled as my bottom lip trembled. "I'm so sorry."
"Hey, hey, hey. This is not your fault. It's that vile bitch Victoria's, okay?" He fell to his knees in front of me and held my face tightly between his palms, his thumbs wiping away the tears. "If we can't, then we can't. All I need is you, I swear it." He kissed my forehead tenderly, and then both of my cheeks over the hot trails my tears had left. "But if it happens, and it hurts you like that... I couldn't..." he struggled to finish his sentence.
If it was possible I would act exactly as Bella was doing now. A baby in this life was a gift... a miracle... nothing was going to take that away from me. Besides my body is stronger than Bella's, I heal as soon as I get injured. Jacob even thought it himself earlier: "That's what Bella needed. To be strong like me, to be able to heal..."
"It might be different. Just don't get your hopes up, because I don't have any, just if it does... remember what I am." Through my ability of transferring thoughts I reminded him of what I had just remembered myself.
He nodded slowly, seeming to unsurely accept that fact. I understood that he didn't want me to go through that pain that Bella's feeling, have my life on the line all for some little baby. He seemed to forget I was the strongest creature on the planet.
I decided to let it go for now, it wasn't going to happen anyway. We both just had to accept it.
I sniffed and wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and stood up. "I'm going to go take a shower, I won't be long."
I left him kneeling on the floor and walked towards my en-suite and closed the door behind me. Life was cruel like this. We had each other, that was all that we needed. I knew that. I loved that. No one has ever loved anyone as anyone as much as Jake and I love each other.
My tears betrayed me as they began to fall again as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. A perfect monster. A woman but not a woman. It was hard to come to terms with it, that I couldn't give Jacob something that he wanted for us.
I shook my head needing to get these thoughts out of mind. It wasn't healthy and it defiantly wasn't going to help me look after Bella and take care of her baby when it came. I undressed myself, and walked over to the shower and turned it on, letting the water run for a few seconds until I knew the temperature was just right.
I let the scolding water run over my skin and hair, savouring the warmth as it rushed over my body. For a normal human this would be too much for them to cope with, it would most likely burn them, but to me it was just right. For Jake, he may consider it to be lukewarm.
I just let the water run over me, washing over my face, removing the saltiness of my tears. I didn't realise until now how much looking after Bella had affected me. For almost a year now I knew my chances of having children had all but turned into zero, but just seeing Bella physically pregnant with a vampire baby made it all real.
And Jacob's face... just the way it dropped when I told him it wasn't going to be possible the other day. It killed me inside. I was right earlier... I was a perfect, frozen in time, monster.
My breath hitched when I heard the door click open. I kept my back to him as I stood behind the glass wall that separated the shower from the rest of the bathroom. Despite the amount of steam in the room and the misty glass wall, I could tell he was looking at me, that he could see through it all.
One by one I heard his items of clothing drop to the floor and then the light thuds of his feet against the cold tiles as he walked towards me. And then suddenly his hot hands were on me, running over my sides, shoulders and back.
I leant back into his hard, muscular body, I missed being touched like this. Of course we would never do anything inappropriate with all the highly sensitive ears and the obvious situation downstairs, we just needed to actually be with each other.
"You're mine." He whispered into my ear before kissing just below it. "I will always love you no matter what. All I need is you." I turned in his arms and looked up at him as the water ran down his face. I reached up and brushed the hair from his forehead resting my hand on his shoulder. "Forever." He breathed, leaving down to brush his lips against mine.
He kissed me and then the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below my ear, his thumb caressing my cheek as our breaths mingled. I ran my fingers down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left between us and I could feel the beating of his heart against my chest.
When we broke apart for air, I rested my forehead against his chest allowing myself to catch my breath. "Forever." I said shakily, he had comforted me in more ways than one.
We washed each other slowly, savouring our peace together before he had to leave again mid morning to go back on patrol. When we were done, he dried me softly with a towel and then carried me to the bed. No more words were spoken between us as we held each other underneath the sheets. He knew exactly what I needed and for that I was thankful.