I end up at a park and I'm strolling along a path, towards a lake in front of me. The lake is luring me as the moonlight shines upon it, causing the surface to glisten. As I get closer to the lake, I see a girl. She's kneeling on the ground and she's petting a ball of white fur. A bunny. A wild hare. Why would she be touching a wild animal like that? Without being afraid?
Before I can get any closer to her, a branch snaps. She instantly turns her head to face me and I move towards her. She immediately stands up as soon as she sees me. The moonlight is shining on her face and her brown eyes twinkle. I notice that her clothes and hair are slightly wet. Why is she so drenched? Had it rained? Maybe I was at the library at the time.
She looks at me from head to toe and she suddenly screams. Her facial features expressing panic. I widen my eyes in shock and I remember that there's blood smeared on my clothes and hands. She must think I'm some sort of killer.
I put a hand over her mouth to silence her, "Shh..."
She smacks my hand away and starts trembling, "Get... get away from me!"
"It's okay, I won't hurt you," I say softly.
"But... but... the blood," She stutters as she points at me and takes a few steps back.
"It's my... girlfriend's," I say hesitantly as I fight back tears and try to keep my composure.
"You killed your girlfriend?!" She shrieks and she's shaking even more.
"No... she died from a car accident just this afternoon. The blood... its because I was holding onto her." I say and I look down as I single tear rolls down my cheek.
She stays silent and she just observes me. As if she's studying me and contemplating on her next move. On what she should say.
"I'm sorry," She finally murmurs and places a hand on my shoulder.
I look up at her and get lost in her eyes. She looks genuinely sorry for me as she looks into my sad eyes. I sigh and sit down on the floor. She sits down beside me and we both look up to the sky. We stay completely still as we admire the stars.
"It's beautiful isn't it," I say.
"Yeah, it is," She replies and a smile spreads across her face. "Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a part of the night sky? To be a star? To see the world from above."
I think about it for a while and say, "I guess I have. I've always wondered what Earth would look like from afar. It'll be interesting to see it as a minuscule dot in space. A meaningless, little planet."
"Meaningless?"
"Yeah, meaningless. Humans are meaningless. Everything is meaningless. I am meaningless. We're so tiny, we're nothing compared to what's up in space. If I vanished, it won't change anything. The Earth would continue spinning."
She's quiet for a while, until she turns to face me and say, "Maybe. But, have you heard of the butterfly effect?"
I shake my head, "No."
"So lets say you were to vanish from this world or you never even existed, this would affect many things. Your mum won't give birth to you, then she may or may not have a child. If she doesn't have a child, then she would grow old with your dad alone. And you r friends now won't have you as a friend, then their friendship would be different. Your girlfriend wouldn't have met you and she might be dating someone else. And I wouldn't have met you and I would still be petting that bunny. We wouldn't be talking to each other right now. Though, Earth would still be spinning, life would change. People's relationship with you would change. People's lives would change."
I sigh, "If my girlfriend dated someone else, she wouldn't have died."
"Explaining the butterfly effect to you, wasn't to burden you even more," She says as she looks at me.
But I am burdened. Bringing Haneul up made me feel even worse. I don't want to think about her, but this girl just had to bring it up.
"I'm sorry," She says again.
This time I don't say anything and turn my attention back to the sky. The moonlight is shining on us and we don't say a word. All I can hear is the girl's soft breathing. I concentrate on the stars and try to count them, though its impossible because there's just too many and I soon lose count.
"What are you doing here anyway?" I break the silence.
"I can ask you the same thing," She dodges the question.
"I asked you first."
"Okay, fine." She takes a deep breath and she doesn't look at me, her eyes still focused on the stars. "My parents are going to have a divorce. They always argued. My dad would come home drunk and he would bring home sluts. He acts like my mum doesn't exist, it's disgusting. But, it wasn't always like this, we used to be one happy family. My parents, my sisters and I. But, suddenly my dad changed. He changed into an entirely new person. I remember the first time he fought with my mum, my sisters and I were so scared, we hid in a closet. I remember hearing my mum crying and glass shattering. He hit her and broke her flower vases. I was terrified. Ever since then, nothing has been normal. I got ill. I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Until recently, I got better and things seemed to be getting better. It was quiet at home, my parents stopped fighting, so I thought it meant they were getting along. But, my dad moved out today."
I don't say anything, not because I'm judging her, it's just because I don't know what to say. I feel sorry for her, but I know saying sorry won't make things right. She's hurt. She's hurt because of her family and she's hurt because of herself. I can see it in her eyes.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" She looks at me.
"I'm sorry," Is all I can say, although I tell myself to think of something better to say. "It's going to be okay."
I mentally curse myself for saying something so stupid. Something that won't change the way she's feeling.
She looks down at her lap and she intertwines her fingers, her nails digging into her skin, "You don't need to be sorry and I know for a fact that it won't be okay. Nothing will be okay."
She's right, Nothing will be okay. How can things be okay? She lost her family and I lost Haneul. She's losing her happiness and I'm losing mine. She's breaking and I am too. We're both breaking.
Or maybe, we're already broken.
She giggles suddenly, "Why am I even telling you this? You're just a stranger, I don't even know your name."
"Taehyung," I say. "My name is Kim Taehyung."
"I'm Park Luna." She says.
"Luna. It means the moon," I say. "Moon girl. It suits you."
"Thanks." She says. "So, tell me your story. I've told you mine already."
I nod my head and breathe in. I'm nervous. It's obvious. My heart is pounding and I want to cry.
"You don't have to if you're not ready," Luna says and places her hand on my shoulder once again to ease my nerves.
"I want to," I say with confidence. "Haneul. Her name was Hanuel. She's my girlfriend. The love of my life. My everything. We were both 14 when we met at a library and we fell in love when we were 16. She's beautiful. I love everything about her. Her sparkly eyes, her adorable nose, her soft lips. She's just perfect. She made me happy. I was supposed to go on a date with her today, we were supposed to come here together. To gaze at stars together. To lay on the grass together, under the moonlight."
Without being aware of it, tears are streaming down my face and I'm sniffing. It hurts to think about Haneul. To recall the good memories we made together. I miss the times we were carefree and full of joy. I miss her. I miss her so much, my heart is about to explode. I clutch onto my chest as my heart aches.
I'm breaking apart, but Luna is keeping me together by wrapping her arms around my quivering, fragile body. The warmth from her body calms me and I hug her back. My head nuzzled against her as I grip onto her small frame. My tears run down my face and soak her already damp clothes. Her hands reach up to the back of my head and she strokes my hair. Her touch is comforting and my breathing goes to normal as she holds me.