Okay, so I said yes. I said yes to become Noah's girlfriend. What else could I have done? I am the stupid one, going to him with my answer. I am stupid to not think of it this far. Obviously he loves me, so he will want me to be his girlfriend. And I had to say yes, because Caleb was hovering behind my back with his scrutinizing gray eyes, I had to. But.. Shit! Now I don't know what to do.
I have cried my eyes out last night, because of the humiliation I had to face again infront of everyone due of Caleb. But with time I realised it cannot be him, those innocent eyes that looked into me, and that eager heart that tried to reach out to me for forgiveness cannot betray me. It just doesn't feel right. Does it?
"Hey there x-bestfriend!" I hear someone call out from near the door as I sit in the balcony doing my homework. I turn around to see my only savior walking towards me.
"Nina, oh my god!!" And with that I run up to her and flung my arms around her body. Tears again dripping from my eyes which I had tried not to shed anymore.
"I'm so sorry, am so sorry Nina" I sob into her shoulders, as she tries to calm me down.
"It's ok, Bella, calm down, will you?" Nina pats my back and holds me tight.
"No, first say you forgive me? You didn't talk to me for two days, that rarely happens, you know that right?"
Nina chuckles, "Yeah, now babe, just stop that running tap of yours, I just had a shower, you know?"
"You are so mean" I complain and pull away from her. I pull her to sit on my bed, "Nina, you don't know what has happened, I mean what-what has happened".
"Yeah I heard some from Jake, and some from bitchy gossip girls, fill me in the rest" She smiles sympathetically.
So, I sit with her, telling her everything from Noah's proposal, to the fight, the tutor and the library case and lastly my answer to Noah. After hearing everything, she just sits there, contemplating everything like she always does.
"So you said yes?" Nina asks after an eternity of thinking.
"Yes" I sigh, I have told her this like five times already.
"Great then!" She claps her hands in fake excitement, "Go and enjoy!"
"Nina!" I star at her in disbelief.
"What?" Nina says with a poker-face, "You chose Noah, you know that right?"
"Yes, but.." I hesitate.
"But, you don't love him, you don't even know that you like him or not, yet you said yes, just to show Caleb that you are better off without him?" Her face turns a bit serious now, which scares me a lot.
I gulp in realization of what a horrible mistake I have made, "What should I do now?"
"Nothing, stick to Noah for god's sake, I'll kill you if you hurt him even a bit, Bella" Nina glare even more, if that is possible her eyes would bulge out any second.
"I don't want to hurt him, you know that" I sigh heavily in defeat as I lay down on the bed.
"Then you shouldn't have agreed to his proposal, Bella" Nina lies down beside me, both of us staring at the ceiling, "You will only hurt him like this"
"How do you know that?" I ask. What if I start to like him.. maybe someday..
"Because you don't look at Noah the way you look at Caleb. You have had a crush on him since sixth grade, and I don't think it ever went away. God, Bella! I'm not stupid, and neither are you! You just are hurting yourself and both the guys in the decisions you are making! Just face the truth, will you?"
"I don't love, Caleb" I blurt out to defend myself.
"Yeah, right" Nina rolls her eyes.
"Nina, I'm confused" I get up and lean on in one of my elbows for support to look to her side, "I'm so confused! I don't know what the hell is happening with me"
"You are falling for him, idiot" Nina stares at me.
"For whom?" I bit my lips, as I exactly knew who she meant.
"You know that" Nina gets up, and checks her phone, "You know it's Caleb, don't beat around the bush"
I close my eyes as I accepted the fact and lie down on the bed again, "Noah is just what somebody would want, you know? He is sweet, caring, charming, good looking and even my best friend, I couldn't have asked anyone better than him, but..."
"But.." Nina cocks one of her eyebrow towards me.
"Caleb" I whisper closing my eyes again, pouring in his memories, "I don't know, but whenever I think about Caleb, I just get lost in his memories, or his gray eyes, or maybe the whole concept of Caleb Ryder lures me in. He is mysterious and in some way it draws me towards him, I like him Nina, maybe more than just like him"
"Finally" Nina grabs both my shoulders and jerks then. Smiling at me broadly, she pulls me uo, "Now, go!"
"Go? where?" I blink at her in confusion as I sit up.
"Idiot! It took you so long to understand your true feelings, now are you going to sit and chat with me, or confess the truth to both of them?"
"What? I.. I can't..." I stammer in fear.
"Bella..." Nina glares at me.
"Okay, fine, but whom should I go to first?" Confused at the sudden urge I am having to go meet the one and only person I want to meet right now.
"As of now, you are officially Noah's girlfriend, I think you should clear everything with him first before going to stick your tongue inside someone else's mouth"
"Nina" I glare at her, slapping her arm lightly at which she giggles.
"That was one steamy kiss, Bella" Nina winks at me, and instantly my face flushes remembering the kiss at the library. Oh I need to see Caleb!
"I've got to go now Nina, I should tell Noah how I truly feel about Caleb, before he gets hurt" I run across the room to fix my hair infront of the mirror, take my purse and run downstairs. As soon as I am out of the house, walking across the garden towards the gate, a car comes in and parks infront of it. Noah climbs out with a bouquet in his hands, smiling brightly as soon as his eyes meet mine. No!
I squeal as he come closer and lifts me in his arms to spin me around and place me down saying, "Hey, beautiful"
"Hey" I reply feebly as his eyes dance with happiness.
"Where are you going?" Noah asks.
"I.. Umm.. What are you doing here?" I try to change the topic.
"Oh" Noah glances at his hand which is holding the bouquet and places his hand infront of me, "Here, I brought it for you"
"Noah, you shouldn't have..." Noah stops me mid way by giving a quick peck on my lips. I freeze at my place as words run out of my mind.
"It's for you, take them" Noah beams at me with joy, "You know where I'm coming from? I went to meet Mom and Dad. I had to tell them about you"
"Noah..." I stand there, not able to say anything after what he just said.
"Yeah I know, I am being foolish" Noah smiles and rubs his hand at the back of his neck, "But, it's my first time, you see? And Mom would be so happy if she knew it's you that I fell for, I just couldn't resist myself"
"I hope you don't think I'm crazy, because I went there" Noah says when he sees me standing still, "You're okay, right? With this? With us?" Suspicions clouds over his eyes as he sees me biting my lip and fidgetting under his gaze.
"Oh, yes Noah, why wouldn't I be?" I laugh artistically, as I have no other answer to his question.
"Good" Noah's calm composure regains again, "Now, I've got to go, I have to meet up with my buddies, I'll call you at night, okay?"
"Mhhmm" I nod smiling at him. He turns around but suddenly remembering something, he turns back to me and comes closer,
"I forgot to tell you something" Noah leans towards me.
"What?" I search for an answer in his eyes when he suddenly places his lips over mine for a short yet soft, sensual kiss.
"I love you" He pulls away and walks to his car smiling mischievously.
And thus, I cannot tell him. I cannot tell him what I really feel, or whom my feelings belong to. I just cannot hurt him when he appeared to be so much happy. He has already lost so much, I cannot just hurt him again. I don't have the courage to shove the truth on his face and break his heart. I turn around and see Nina standing on the balcony, her hands crossed and a serious look plastered on her face. I sigh and walk back to the house.
-------------------------------------------
"Ms. Jones, could you come here for a moment" Mr. Anderson calls me after the class got over. I abide and strolls towards his desk.
"How is the tutoring thing going?" He asks shuffling some papers from a file.
"Great" I lie.
"Really?" He shot up to me as if not believing my answer. What else could I have told?
"Yes Sir" I smile at him.
"Good then" He takes out a sealed envelope and hands it to me,"Give it to Ryder for me, thank you"
Caleb's name brings too many memories, as I stand there just staring at my Professor as he looks up again,
"Is anything wrong, Ms. Jones?"
"I am not meeting him today" I mumble, "I think you should give it to someone else"
"He is not in school today. And this is very important. I might forget, so hand it to him for me" Mr. Anderson speaks in a stern voice shaking the envelope infront of me.
I take it and go out. The thought of meeting Caleb again starts making my belly churn with unknown desire. I decide to go and meet him against my wish.
After school I go straight to the place I know I could find Caleb if he isn't in school. The garage was like always, deserted and dusty. I walk inside thinking if I have made any mistake coming here or not.
As soon as I enter, I met eye to eye with the devil himself. Caleb stands a few feet away from me, shockingly scrutinizing me. After a few seconds of staring session I clear my throat, looking around and walking towards him, trying not to falter under his gaze.
"What do you want?" Caleb's stern voice makes me nervous. He is angry. Though that's nothing new!
"Mr. Anderson told me to give you this" I hand him the envelope and keep staring at him while he tries to read what's on the envelope.
"Thanks" He mutters under his breath, throws the envelop on the table beside and turns around, the envelop makes the photo frame trip over and instantly Caleb goes to make it stand again.
"That might be something important, you shouldn't throw it like that" I say looking at the thrown envelop.
"Who are you? My guardian?" Caleb snaps turning around.
"Well no, Mr. Anderson told me its important and that I should hand it to you today itself, so I thought..."
"So what? What did you think Bella?" Caleb snaps again while walking towards me as I step back in fear.
"I.. Umm.." I mumble but Caleb cut me short,
"Do me a favor Bella, and just stop with your damned idiotic thinkings!!"
"Caleb.." I start to say something but Caleb shuts me up again,
"What? You know what? Just leave! You have done what you were told, now just leave" And he turns around leaving me behind.
"Well, that's rude, don't you think? I also came by to...."
"Rude?" Caleb laughs, sarcasm clearly visible in his voice, "You know what is rude?" He glares at me, pain and anger sparkling in his eyes, "Pouring your heart out to someone and then getting the blame of betrayal, that's rude! Every fucking time you just blame me without letting me explain, that's rude!" Caleb slams his fist against the table.
"Any sane person would do what I did" I tried to justify myself.
"Any sane person would first want to know what the hell happened, before randomly blaming it on others" Caleb shoots back, anger flickering in his eyes, "Noah! You are his girlfriend now, aren't you? Does he know that you came to see me?"
"That's none of your business!" I snap at him defensevly as he steps closer to me.
"What if I turn out to be the bad guy that everyone fears, Bella?" Caleb's eyes dance in some evil plan which makes me shiver, "What if I turn out to be the guy you accuse me of? What will you do then?"
"I am not afraid of you Caleb" I step back crossing my hand over my chest as his hypnotizing gaze send shivers down my body.
"Is it so?" Caleb takes another step forward and I am pinned to a wall behind me.
"Caleb" I whisper out of fear as his hooded eyes stare back at me.
"Leave! Now!" He hisses angrily looking away.
"Yeah! It was a mistake coming here" I say and walk away.
As soon as I step away, his hand grabs mine and pushes me back against the wall. I cry in pain, and he puts both his hands beside me so that I am now pinned between the wall and him,
"Tell me you don't feel it?" Caleb's eyes bore the pain which is visible in mine too, "Tell me you don't feel that we have something, which you are so eager to destroy!"
"Caleb.."
"Dammit Bella! You are ruining me, you know that right?" He looks down in defeat,"Those kisses, they never meant anything to you? The thing we had in the classroom, was that only me? Are you so oblivious to this attraction we have or are you just playing me?"
I bit my lip, as tears threatenes to well up in my eyes. I cannot let Caleb say the words I so earnestly wanted to tell him myself. I can't do this, I can't hurt Noah.
"Caleb, let me go" I try to push him away, but he refuses to move.
"Every time I let you go, you come back making me fall for you all over again, and then just like that when I think everything's okay, you leave. If you don't care, then why the hell did you come here that day and look after my wound? Why did you tell me that you wanted to be my girlfriend when you clearly chose that guy over me for nothing? What the hell do you want from me Bella?"
"It was not nothing" I look away, as tears pour down my cheeks, "And right now, I want you to leave me"
"I won't let you go until you answer me, because.... Oh hell with it!" Caleb advances towards me.
"Caleb... ahhh" I cannot finish as his teeth bit against my neck before he devoures his tongue up the side of my neck to my earlobe making me go numb. He presses his body against mine, as my chest meet his and he kisses me fiercely, raking my whole body. His hand undid my ponytail, making my long hair fall as he grabs and twists them within his fist and pulls me more towards him for an earnest kiss. His tongue survyes my lips and parts them to penetrate my mouth, as both our tongues fights for dominance.
He throws my scarf somewhere on the floor and pulls both my hands up against the wall while kissing my arms and my neck as I stood there gasping for breath. I want this, I want him, I can't deny this attraction.
As his eyes meet mine, the gray eyes storms up with desire, and he starts fiercely kissing me again, his hand rummaging my butt and groping it above my jeans. I am already wet with desire when I realise his hardness against me making me nervous and wanting for more. I moan as he sucks my lower lip and pulls it. Though the pain of him punching my lip a few days back, hasn't subsided, but the pleasure he is making me feel now is beyond comparable.
"St..op.." I whisper panting impatiently as Caleb rakes with hungry kissed down my neck and the skin above my chest that's visible over the top I am wearing. He yet hasn't undressed me or did anything beyond kissing but the heat we are generating, I would orgasm just by his kisses alone. They are sending 1000 volts of current across my body. His kisses began to get more fierce and rugged as I realize he is trying his hard to control himself. I try to open his jacket up, to which he holds both my hands and pins them back to the wall, as his kisses softens a bit and he slowly runs his hand down to the sides of my body. His hands reach till the hem of my top and he contemplates if he should proceed or not. At this point, I would have let him. I want him, I am not thinking if it is right or wrong, I just don't want to lose him. His eyes stares back at me, waiting, maybe asking for permission to go ahead. I don't know if mine say yes or no, but I want it.. so very much.. My flushed cheeks will never be able to hide it from him.
"I love you, Bella" Caleb whispers panting heavily, his breath falling over my neck, blowing away all the illusion I was in few minutes ago.
Suddenly realisation hits me, as I shot open my eyes, and look at him in horror. He is flushed too, his dark gray eyes quite less stormy now.
What did I do? No No No.. This shouldn't have happened, this can't happen, I can't do this to Noah.. No.
I push him away and stoop down to pick up the scarf he had thrown away.
"Bella, be my girlfriend" Caleb pleads behind me as I wrap the scarf around my neck which is now throbbing in pain, "This time, for real"
I turn around to look at him, not believing my ears at what I just heard. I bit my lip as guilt conquers my heart and mind. I am obliged by some duty and this is all I could give him now, "I'm sorry, I can't. I am already with Noah" And with that I walk away, leaving the man I desire, standing there with pain and hurt.
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Hi all..
Sorry if you all didn't like this chapter.
I am in a terrible mood, and at first didn't want to post anything, but then, as I hadn't posted anything for a week, I thought of updating. Am really sorry if the chapter is not upto the mark, promise to update next chapter better than this.
Actually i went for an interview, which went horrible! Just horrible! I just wasted two days for it, and I didn't even get the job!
Am sorry, no more discussion about that.! Forget it. Okay, everyone, do a thing, pick out a cast for this book. Bella, Caleb, Noah.. I want to know who do you think would reflect them most.
Dedication to @Fineapplehazza. lots of love :* <3 thanks for your support.
See you all later. Vote and comment to cheer me up, if you want that is.. no pressure! :(