All Jaime could hear was the sound of his knife and fork touching the plate. The squires had prepared dinner for the him and Aurelia, as soon as the sun disappeared. They were sitting inside their shared tents, with Aurelia being too afraid to stay in a separate one. She had no desire of being left alone the entire night. This place terrified her more than Kings Landing. It was because she was the only one different, and Aurelia felt it the moment she arrived.
Back in the Capital, she had her father and sisters with her. Even if they were surrounded by lions, Aurelia relied on her father and his men to protect her. However, this time she has no father to promise her that she'll see the sun when it rises the next day; no mother to brush her hair and sing her a lullaby, and no Robb to stay with her throughout the night. The only person she can trust is her own.
Aurelia always loved reminding her family that she can protect herself, but that was a different time. A time where she was confident because she had never felt frightened before; but now she does.
It was a terribly silent dinner. Aurelia continued to fiddle with her food ever since it was served, while Jaime continued to look upon his wife as he ate. She had not look up to meet him in the eye, and it did irritate Jaime. She could play this game as long as she liked, but Jaime could not any longer.
"I can ask the squire to prepare you something else if you do not wish to eat that food." Jaime said, his finger pointing to the untouched meal on her plate. Aurelia chose not to respond, which did not surprise him the slightest. Instead, she continued on playing with her food with her head facing down. Jaime let out a deep sigh, placing down his knife and fork and grabbing a white cloth to wipe his mouth clean. "You haven't eaten in days, you won't speak to me, you won't even look at me in the eye and you...this is stupid, Aurelia."
"Stupid?" Aurelia finally broke her silence, as she looked up at her husband. "You're the one who is about to storm my mother's home!"
"And you were the one who foolishly tried to talk my father out of his plans. You should know better than that. My father's mind is fixed, and nobody can change it; and surely not you." Jaime argued in return,
"Well, I was trying to solve this matter peacefully seeing as no one in this place wants to. I had to do what I could to protect my family." Aurelia explained her reasons. It was not her proudest moment going against Tywin Lannister however, she had to do something at that time.
"My father sees you as a Lannister now. He expects nothing less than that." Jaime told her, but Aurelia could hardly care about what Tywin thinks.
"And what do you expect? You seriously think I would oblige to every word you tell me to do? I will not sit idly while your father shares his battleplans on how to best attack Riverrun. Have you forgotten that they're my family too?" Aurelia questioned him, as she raised her voice higher. She had risen up from her seat, the palm of her hands resting against the table.
"I'm your family now. You married me, and I remember your father accepting the betrothal willingly. I put a cloak over your shoulders with him as a witness. You are part of House Lannister, and I suggest you learn to accept it. What would the people think if you betray your house by supporting your family? You can't choose both." Jaime told her, as he begins to stand up from the table and walked near the edge of their bed.
"The only house I will be betraying is my own if I do nothing when you attack mine. I will not stay silent while those who wish to see our house burn down try to do exactly that. If you're asking me to choose, then I will choose my family. I will always choose them." Aurelia defended herself, while Jaime still had his back facing her. Silence befall the tent once more as both of them thought about how much this situation has put such a strain in their relationship; if it could even be called that.
"What would you have me do, Aurel?" Jaime asked of her, as he finally turn his body around to face her. Conflict was in his eyes, as he pondered on listening to his father or his wife.
"Listen to me. Please, Jaime..." She began to plead as her voice turned soft. "Don't do this. Don't do anything. Let me try to solve this matter by talking to my family, I know they'll listen. You do know what would happen once you storm Riverrun? Your father is practically declaring war on my family over something you don't even understand yourself, and- "
"I understand enough!" Jaime exclaimed, taking a step closer to where Aurelia now stand. "What part of Catelyn Stark abducting my brother do you not understand? Your mother started this war when she took Tyrion, and you know that. You don't even want to believe it because you love your mother too much to accept the fact that she could condone such a thing. Your father knew about it, and still he did not say a word. Start opening your eyes and realize that your house is just as much at fault. They struck us first. We're only repaying it."
"Would you storm the gates of Riverrun and slay every single man who goes against you? Would you spear my Uncle Brynden in the leg as well to send a message to my mother? Or perhaps my Uncle Edmure? Or would you go as far as to put a sword through my grandfather?" Aurelia bombarded him with questions. She crossed her arms across his chest, as Jaime listened to her.
"If that's what it takes to get my brother back...then yes." Jaime answered her, and Aurelia tried very hard to hide the staggered look on her face.
"If you attack my family, Jaime...I – I won't forgive you. I can't." Aurelia told him with pure conflict inside her heart. She can't possibly choose Jaime over her own family. The thought of betraying her family was absurd to begin with, and no matter what the Lannister's tell her, her loyalty will always stay with the Starks. Her love for her family predates everything else in the world.
"Then I'll learn to live with that." Jaime replied her, which made things perfectly clear for Aurelia. Now she truly knows where her husband stands amidst all of this complication.
She was too surprised to even mutter a word, and all she could do was stare at Jaime who did his best to appear stoic in front of her. Never once had he let his feelings be shown in front of anyone other than his siblings. For the longest time, they were the only people he could trust. But they are not here now...and Aurelia was; and yet, he is pushing her away while being inconsiderate of her own feelings. All this time, his priority had been getting Tyrion back through any lengths. Jaime thought that Aurelia will eventually forgive him. She had to.
Jaime decided to turn and leave, but then he heard the words coming out of Aurelia's mouth.
"My father warned me not to trust you."
He turned around slowly. He did not realize how much those words had such an effect on him until Aurelia said it. When he first saw Aurelia, he expected that he would share the same views of him as Ned. She did hate him in the beginning, but it wasn't because of what he did all those years ago. Soon that hatred died down, and although they had arguments here and then after their wedding, Aurelia found comfort in Jaime's presence. Whereas Jaime was opening a part of himself to the woman he least likely thought would have. Jaime wanted to prove himself that he was not the man the whispers says he is. He still had honor in him, and Jaime was going to show it to Aurelia. Looking at it now, he was doing the complete opposite.
"I never really understood why he would say that. I even tried to deny that there is some sort of resentment between the two of you, but I now I truly see why. You are exactly the kind of man my father told me about. All this time I did not want to believe him because I thought despite your abrasiveness and your tendency to act on things violently...you are a good man. That you fight for what's right, and not because you have to." Aurelia continued to say, as Jaime listened on. She has never truly expressed any of her feelings about Jaime, and although Jaime was sure that Aurelia cares for him, he was not certain that Aurelia still feels the same way now.
"But my father was right. You have no honor." Aurelia stated, which changed everything for Jaime.
All his life people have judged him by a single story, even to the people he never even met. Aurelia was the first person who treated him as any human being should, and never once had she brought up the night that has haunted him for years.
"You don't mean that." Jaime responded, taking a step closer. It pained Jaime to hear those words coming from Aurelia, despite hearing it a thousand times. He liked to think that those words would have no ill-effect on him anymore; however, having Aurelia say it made it feel as though he was hearing those words for the first time.
"I don't want to, but everything you're doing is leading me to believe that you're exactly who my father tells me you are." Aurelia told him, "And I should have listened to him." She said with a hint of rising anger.
"Exactly what else did your father tell you about me? That I'm a what...Kingslayer? Oathbreaker? And the best of them all; man without honour is it not? Everybody is so keen to remind me of what I did eighteen years ago, when none of them knew the truth." Jaime said in a low tone that send shivers down Aurelia's spine, as he took a step closer to her. "Your father had the same look on your face now when he entered the Great Hall and saw the Mad King lying dead at the bottom of my feet."
Aurelia was too surprised to say another word. Jaime has never mentioned about the events transpired in the Great Hall that ended the Mad Kings life, and nor was she interested to hear more of it. She knew it was a sensitive subject on Jaime, which is the reason as to why she waited for him bring about the conversation. However, never had she expected that it would be at this very moment.
"What do you know of what happened that night?" Jaime asked of her, and Aurelia was unsure of where Jaime was playing at.
"Why are you telling me this?" Aurelia asked him confusingly,
"Answer the question." Jaime told her sternly, ignoring what she previously asked him of.
"You killed the Mad King. You broke your oath by killing the King you vow to protect." Aurelia replied, and that was the truth. She only knew what the whispers say, or at least what Septa Unella was only allowed to say. Ned never told his children about Robert's Rebellion, and all of them were too afraid to ask. Although Robert gained his victory, Ned lost most of his loved ones. He never talked about it, and no one wants to mention it either.
"The Mad King, yes. And they called him that for a reason." Jaime said, as he moved past aside Aurelia and perched himself by the edge of the bed. She turned her body aside to look at him properly; trying to figure out where this conversation was heading.
"He was obsessed with wildfire. He loved to watch people burn, the way their skin blackened, blistered, and melted off their bones. He burned Lords he didn't like. He burned Hands who disobeyed him. Aerys saw his traitors everywhere, so he had his pyromancer place caches of wildfire all over the city; beneath the Sept of Baelor, the slums of flea bottom, under houses, stables, and taverns. He even placed wildfire beneath the Red Keep itself. Finally, the day of the reckoning came, Robert Baratheon marched on the capital after his victory at the Trident. But my father arrived first with the whole Lannister army at his back, promising to defend the city against the rebels. I knew my father better than that. He's never been one to pick the losing side. I told the Mad King as much. I urged him to surrender peacefully. But the King didn't listen to me. He didn't listen to Varys who tried to warn him. But he did listen to Grand Maester Pycelle, that grey, sunken cunt. 'You can trust the Lannisters,' he said. 'The Lannisters have always been true friends of the crown.'"
"So, we opened the gates, and my father sacked the city. Once again, I came to the king, begging him to surrender. He told me to...bring him my father's head. Then he...turned to his pyromancer. 'Burn them all,' he said. 'Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds.' Would you do it? If you were in my position, would you have killed your father then in favor of some sacred oath you took? Would you have kept it then?"
Deafening silence surrounded the tent as Aurelia processed everything Jaime has said. She never thought much of the reason as to why Jaime would kill the King. She never even realized the truth behind it all. Now Jaime sits in front of her with such discomfort and pain as if telling the story to Aurelia felt as though he was relieving that horrible night which changed his life forever.
"First I killed the pyromancer. And then when the King turned to flee, I drove my sword into his back. 'Burn them all,' he kept saying, 'Burn them all.' I don't think he expected to die. He...he meant to...burn with the rest of us and rise again, reborn as a dragon to turn his enemies to ash." Jaime continued to tell Aurelia of what truly happened, as his voice began to crack. "I slit his throat to make sure that didn't happen. That's where Ned Stark found me. That was the moment everyone saw me as the man speak of me now. The man your father tried to take you away from. You wanted to know why he resented so much all this time, and now you know the truth." He said, and a tear almost trickled down Aurelia's cheek. She could not imagine what Jaime must have gone through that night, and the worst part of it all was that Jaime had been insulted and mocked his entire life for doing that one act that saved everyone.
"Jaime...I'm, I – I'm..." Aurelia couldn't even try to find the words to say, as her mind was still in shock by the truth. "I didn't know. Why...why didn't you tell my father?"
"You think that the honourable Ned Stark wanted to hear my side? He judged me guilty the moment he set eyes on me." Jaime explained to her, "And you are your father's daughter are you not? You think the rest of the world care about the truth as well? You think Robert Baratheon asked me why I did it when he was too busy admiring the throne, I gave him? No...no, they only hear what they want to hear. They care nothing for the truth." Jaime said to her.
"Your father doesn't know me. The reason why I'm going against your family is because I love them, and I would do anything to fight for them as you would with yours. But don't for a second believe that the honourable men in your family had never wronged anyone before. I'm not attacking your family for no reason at all, and I'm not going kill anybody. But you have to admit it yourself that what your mother did was wrong, and I'm just doing what I need to do to get my brother back." Jaime said, and pushed himself off the bed to walk out of Aurelia's tent.
"Jaime, wait." Aurelia called out his name, and he stopped in his tracks but he didn't dare turn around. He promised himself to not let his guard down in front of Aurelia, and he did exactly that when he shared the reason as to why he killed the Mad King. It frightened him more than he thought, and he was not certain if he can let another woman into his heart even though he doesn't realise that Aurelia was already in his.
"What my father did was wrong, and...and, I'm sorry." Aurelia apologised and Jaime could hear the feeling of guilt inside her.
"I know." Jaime replied, and he did not linger for another second. Aurelia watched him as he disappeared outside, and she was left alone at the night where she wanted Jaime to stay.
Her mind bounced everywhere as she laid down on her bed. The sounds coming from outside was becoming quieter and quieter as the night went deeper, and all Aurelia could hear was her own thoughts. Jaime's story changed everything she ever thought of him before. His cold personality was only an exterior to cover his true self. Jaime was deemed a Kingslayer over one action; a word that has haunted him ever since that night. People were quick to judge him because of that name.
Aurelia's mind thought about her father as well. Knowing that her father was the first person who found out that Jaime killed the Mad King, was new to her as well. Ned Stark was never fond of Jaime Lannister, and the fact that he broke his oath was unjustifiable to him. However, Aurelia always had a feeling that their hatred for one another originated something deeper than that. What came as another surprise for Aurelia, was that Ned gave no reason to understand the reason behind Jaime's actions. The father she knew always gave people a chance, but it seems that Ned perceived Jaime as undeserving.
She took a breath and walked out of the tent, pacing herself towards Jaime. His tent was not too far away, and although a moment ago she would have loved to stay as far away, she can't let Jaime be alone. Not after what she told him. No one else knew of the story; if anyone did, Jaime would not be given any hate or contempt aimed towards him for saving Kings Landing. The worry she had in being alone amongst a sea of Lannister men was put aside when she found her way to Jaime's tent. Pushing the flap aside, Aurelia saw him change out of his kingsguard armour, with a white tunic shirt covering his muscular body.
He too was surprised upon seeing his wife's presence, believing that Aurelia would rather be left alone after their tensed conversation. Never had he willingly tell anyone other than his siblings of his tragic story all those years ago. Tyrion comforted him all he can, and Cersei could not care less. She congratulated him in killing the Mad King, rather than asking him the reason behind his actions. Jaime knew had to speak to Aurelia about it some time in their life, but never would he thought it would be under these circumstance. Seeing Aurelia look at him with the same expression as other people have been looking at him for the past eighteen years, gave Jaime a sense of anguish. He could have looked the other way if people dare to judge or sneer upon him, but with Aurelia he could not. Jaime never wanted for Aurelia to see him as the whom the people whisper about. He believed himself to be a changed man, and Aurelia had to see that.
Aurelia stared at him longingly with a sympathetic look on her face. He was not entirely sure what is churning inside Aurelia's mind, or whether the story meant anything to her. She is her father's daughter, and the stubbornness the Starks inherit were as large as the size of Kings Landing. However, Aurelia had true compassion unlike Jaime has ever known. Her kindness equated to the wolf beneath that soft facade, and he too was taken aback. Now here she stands - a couple of meters away from him - and Jaime could not predict what she was about to do. Jaime was not even sure as to why she came. She was the one who could not stand his presence.
"Aurelia," Her name came out softly out of Jaime's lips, and she immediately walked up to him. Aurelia embraced Jaime, much to his surprise as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was standing up on her toes, as Jaime could feel the warmth radiating around him due to their bodies being pressed together. Everything happened so fast that it took Jaime a second to comprehend what was happening. Not an hour ago, Aurelia would have pulled away from his touch as if it was poison.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what happened to you." Aurelia whispered to him and that was all that Jaime needed to hear. Her delicate fingers touched the nape of his neck where his hair began, as Jaime could feel her breathe against his bare skin. Jaime felt his heart to be at ease after hearing those words. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her, as Aurelia continued on holding onto him, and Jaime did not want for her to let go. He had not realise how much he missed her touch until he felt it again.
The two stayed in each other arms longer than they had intended. Aurelia thought that distancing herself from Jaime was the only way she can cope with the fact that he fought against her father. But she needed him too. She had grown comfortable to have him beside her, and after hearing his story. It wasn't her who needed comfort. That night, both Aurelia and Jaime ignored each other's problems as if it vanished into thin air; only caring being on each other's arms until morning came.
A/N:
Hey guys! so this is perhaps one of my favorite chapter in this story as Jaime finally revealed to Aurelia the truth of what happened the night he killed Aerys, and this parallels with the bathtub scene in Harrenhall with Brienne. This moment is very significant in regards to their relationship because they're very topsy turvy right now. With Jaime telling his side of the story, he's opening up a part of him to Aurelia that he never does with other people and that ultimately shows that he cares for her and trusts her more than he thinks. Now that Aurelia knows Jaime's vulnerability, she's starting to look at Jaime in a different light.
So I have put off talking about season 8 of Game of Thrones, because where do i even begin? The first two episodes excited me but afterwards I just started questioning the writers more and more. I have no idea why they decided to steer the story in that direction and honestly I can't even fathom it. Let's just start of with how they ended Jaime's storyline like seriously, what the fuck d&d? Why did they push his redemption arc off the drain as though it never happened nor did it mean anything?
Him leaving Cersei was supposed to be monumental for him because he's finally leaving all the toxicity from their relationship, he's supposed to finally realize just how mad Cersei has become and just how manipulative and emotionally abusive she has been towards him. But then Jaime decided to run back to Cersei and they both died because of a brick????? I saw someone talking about it in twitter and why the reason he chose to return to Cersei was because he does not even think himself deserving of happiness with Brienne, and although I agree that Jaime tends to perceive himself this way, it is exactly this thought that should have made Jaime himself convinced all the damage Cersei has done to him.
I would never forgive the writers for butchering a beautifully complex story and his death was anti-climactic. Even though I had a feeling that he was going to die this season, i never thought nor wanted it to be in that fashion. I can honestly go on and on about Jaime's story this season, but that was basically the gist of it all.
Moving on to the ending, I know audiences who accepted it and others who still despise it. I'm not sure where I am because although I love the Stark's ending, I didn't love what they did to Dany nor how they reduced Jon's character as a driving force of Dany's madness. If they had gradually shown Dany turn into his father perhaps it help the audience to understand and accept it, but it was so rushed and I really did not like it.
Anyways, I hadn't really thought of the ending to this story because my mind always changes, and wanted to wait until season 8 before making a final decision. But now it's left me all the more confused. I don't know if I should end it the same way as the show did it albeit with a few differences, or a completely alternate ending. Do tell me if what you guys think!
All in all, thank you to the readers who have stick by me from the beginning and those who continue reading it! And to those who have just started, I hope you enjoy the story so far and thank you so much for taking the time to give this story a chance ✨✨
Please continue to vote and comment, I truly appreciate it!
Okay this is a very long author's note, please forgive me; I just needed to let it all out. See you guys in the next chapter 💕💕
Lastly, what do you guys think of Season 8?