"What the hell James?" He asked. I uncovered my blindfolds to see the twins standing there.
"I thought this would be a fun reunion!" He smiled.
"James. This isn't a good time." Grayson told him.
"Why don't you tell us what's going on then?" James asked. "You guys are always going off to New Jersey without telling us shit!"
"It's personal, James." Grayson said. I looked at Ethan and he looked like he was hurting. He just stared at the ground and put his hands in his pockets.
As the two of them argued I hugged Ethan. I didn't even know what was going on, but I knew he might need it. I felt him take a deep breath to avoid from crying but I felt his body tremble. I was so scared. He looked at me in the eyes and I saw everything. His eyes were puffy from crying, his nose was red, he looked like he hadn't eaten anything, he had a beard and he looked like he hasn't slept in weeks. He left my embrace and went back in the house to his room.
"You guys can't be here." Grayson said after noticing Ethan leave.
"Grayson, what's going on? Please tell us." James pleaded.
"Guys! Get the fuck out!" Grayson yelled super defensively.
"Ethan!" I called after him. I tried to walk in, but Grayson stopped me.
"Emma, please. This is really hard." He had the same look of sorrow in his eyes. I stopped and I just froze. What the hell? Why was this happening? I started tearing up, and I didn't know what was happening. Sensory overload?
"Emma, let's go." James sneered at Grayson. He stopped and saw my face. I looked at him and his face softened. "Em."
"Emma, you have to go." Grayson said softly.
"Get the fuck away! We're leaving!" James yelled. I started towards the house again but Grayson held me.
"I wanna see Ethan." My voice was trembling and I was close to tears.
"I know, Em. You just can't right now!" He kept telling me.
"I haven't seen my fucking boyfriend for over a month and I finally see him and he's not doing well and I wanna fucking be there!" I yelled as I cried. I was trying to fight him to get out of his grip so I could get in the house but Grayson was too strong. He held me back.
"C'mon, Em. I'm sorry this happened. I thought they would be more welcoming." James put his hand on my back.
"What the fuck?!" I yelled.
"You're making this harder for us, Em." Gray said.
"I hope Maddie's having a good time with this too." I left with James and I was crying in the car. I know James was concerned for me because I usually never cried in front of them. I've only cried when I'm alone in my apartment over a video or something. This was some real shit that I didn't know how to deal with.
I also felt like he was super protective over me, especially when Grayson was holding me back.
"I just... wanna be with... Ethan in his tough times... but Grayson's... kicking me out!" I said between breaths and sniffles.
"I know, baby. I know." He kept driving until we reached his house.
"James, I gotta go home." I sniffed.
"You're staying with me tonight, because no one deserves to be alone when they're this sad." He kissed my cheek and we got out of the car.
"I don't blame them for some reason." I told him when we were lying on his bed.
"Really?"
"I just feel like they're good at hiding their emotions and they just couldn't. Something really bad must have happened, James."
"And they're taking a break from social media." He nodded.
"James, I just wanna be there for him, but he just pushed me away! I wanted to see him again. I wanna make him happy!" I was shaking a little. James hugged me and we fell asleep to a movie. He was the best-est friend anyone can ask for.
∞∞∞
ETHAN POV:
I had no choice. I couldn't tell her what was going on. I needed some time to think about how to tell everyone. I couldn't seem to process it myself. I would just lay in bed and cry until I couldn't, and I was just in such a state of shock. Grayson and my family helped me through it, but they're also affected. I can't even imagine what my mother's going through.
Yesterday, my father, Sean Dolan, passed away due to cancer. I couldn't even get myself to write something for him on Instagram and Twitter. I decided I would do it when I felt ready. Of course, planning it with Grayson. The service was happening in 2 days and I knew it was gonna be rough for all of us.
I knew it would take time to heal, and I 100% agreed with James and Emma, and I'm happy they're here to support us, but I need some time alone to think.
The reason we were in New Jersey so often was so that we would see our dad before today and to spend time with him. I miss him so fucking much! I miss his smile, the way he would smile at Gray and I just made me smile and feel like we were loved. And he made sure we knew that. The way he raised us was amazing, and I couldn't believe that he was so supportive of our decision of going to YouTube and leaving school even though he was a principal at school and a coach. He was so supportive of everything we did, and I don't even think we would be where we are right now if he wasn't there to help us keep going.
I got up out of bed and I noticed everyone was still here. I looked at what was happening from the kitchen. Emma was crying, James was yelling, Grayson was trying to comfort them while making them leave. I wish I could just hug Emma and kiss her. Ugh! I would give anything for her to be in my arms. I just knew I couldn't talk about it without breaking down and I couldn't cry in front of her. I knew I had to look strong for Emma. I just looked at the ground. Who the fuck even cared that I was wearing Gucci sandals? I threw them across the room and I just sat on the ground and cried.
I stood up when Grayson came back in. We just nodded at each other.
"When do we post about it?" My voice was so fucking raspy.
"Tomorrow at the same time." He told me. I nodded.
He left to his room and I just had a beer as I watched football.
I fell asleep at some point on the couch because I didn't remember the score of the game when I woke up.
JAMES POV:
I was so scared for Emma. I've never seen her cry and I knew how important Ethan was to her.
Em was still at my house and I was scrolling through social media as she was editing her video. Around 1 pm, both of us get a notification. Both the Dolan twins posted something. We looked at each other and quickly swiped to find awful news.
Ethan:
Grayson:
We both had tears in our eyes by the time we looked up. I wanted to go up to them and hug them until they couldn't cry anymore. I wanted to relieve them of their pain.
"What the fuck?" Emma was crying.
"Shhhhh." I soothingly said. I rubbed her back and we hugged for five minutes. I kissed her forehead. She looked like a lost puppy and I wanted to be the one to comfort her.
"We can't see them now, okay? We need to just give them space." I brushed the stray hairs out of her face and wiped her tears.
"This is so fucking unfair!" She whined.
"I know, kitty girl."
We commented on the photos to show our support and I noticed Emma's comment. "I love you". I knew what it would do to Ethan. Smart move.
Right now we couldn't do anything. Time will heal them. Time will tell.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞