Jho
Yesterday was a total disaster. Natalo kami against FEU. I'm having this hallucinations na nakikita ko si Bea. When in fact hindi naman daw talaga nandun si Bea, sabi nina Maddie.
Sa sobrang pag-iisip ko, I found myself sa sasakyan ko papunta sa bahay nina Bea. Sa sobrang lutang ko di ko namalayan na may kasama pala ako.
"Saan tayo pupunta Jho?" Jia
"Huh? Bakit nandito ka?" Jho
"Luh? You asked me kaya...kaya sumakay ako. Wala ka nang magagawa parang lutang na lutang ka sige sasama na ako talaga." Jia
"Ohh-kayyy. Pupunta lang ako sa bahay nina Bea. Tambay lang kasi sabi ni Coach wag daw muna ako magpractice maybe I need some time daw. Dahil sa nangyari kahapon." Jho
"Okay go samahan kita kahit saan." Jia
30mins away from Eliazo ang bahay ni Bea but unfortunately traffic sa loob ng Ateneo kaya umabot pa ng another 15mins bago kami makadating.
I got my key and opened their gate.
Dumiretso agad ako sa kwarto ni Beatriz. Nothing has changed. Nanatili ito kung paano iniwan ni Beatriz.
I went inside her closet to get a tshirt. That I would smell until I fall asleep.
"Hey Jho!" Jia
"Yes Jia?" Jho
"Diba ikaw ang nagsulat nito? Hindi ata nabasa ni Bea." Jia
"Ang ano?" Jho
"Ito oh!" Jia
Jia showed a white envelope with Beatriz on front.
"I found it before right here sa bed table niya pero nakita ko sa ilalim ng kama niya." Jia
"I don't think I wrote that." Jho
"It's already open, nabasa na niya siguro." Jia
Binuksan ko naman yung letter.
"Hindi ko handwriting to." Jho
Dear Isabel Beatriz,
I can't tell you how many times I've sat down and tried to put these words on paper. Trying to write about you but unfortunately, I can't remember you. Or the things you are saying to me about us. I know it's hard to accept the reality we are in now. But you need to. I'm happy now with Nico and I hope you would accept that. Even I cannot remember what we "had" as you would say. I don't want you to dwell on it anymore. If it's true, I'm not in that position right now. I'm happily inlove with Nico and I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose you also, you are my bestfriend and I want you to stop this ridiculous thing you are doing. You are overstepping and I don't want you to ruin my relationship with him. I love you as my bestfriend and that's the only thing I can offer. I'm sorry about this, that I cannot tell this in front of you. I know I'm weak and I don't want to see you crying or whatever. Please accept this as my way of apologizing. I cannot accept your stories and I cannot give back the love you wanted. I'm sorry Beatriz. I only have one wish, I want you to let me go. Let me go now Beatriz. I want you to find your happiness pero hindi sakin. I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
Jhoana
I read it out loud in order for Jia to hear it also.
"Did you ask her to let you go?" Jia
"No I didn't, it's not even my handwriting. Kelan mo ba 'to nakita?" Jho
"The day after sinuntok ni Nico si Bea and you left early that day." Jia
"This is really not my handwriting. I swear." Jho
"Even if it's not you. Huli na tayo Jhoana, malamang nabasa na yan ni Bea." Jia
"You're right but I need to find out whoever wrote this. This is a big mistake. She did let me go before she left me for real." Jho
Umiyak naman ako sa pangyayari ngayong araw na ito.
Naplanuhan naman namin na umalis na sa bahay nina Beatriz. Papalabas na kami ng pinto ng...
"Deanna anong ginagawa mo dito?" Jho
Deanna seems surprised of what happened.
"Kidding! I was on the neighborhood, so I was like, dropping by on this house but suddenly I saw your car and the gate's open. So I barged in and luckily ayan nga kayo hahahaha." Deanna
"But I locked it diba Jia?" Jho
"Im not sure about that Jho, let's have lunch na lang kaya. Then little chitchats." Jia
"Sige since you look startled Mommy Jhow, my treat." Deanna
"Since when did Deanna treats us?" Jia
"Amazingly wow." Jho
We chuckled and left the house.
Deanna pov
I was following their car. Idk where they want to eat kaya pinauna ko na sila. Then later on we found ourselves at Casa Verde.
Since it's my treat we don't do sky is the limit. I'm not Isabel Beatriz De Leon hahahaha! Kidding aside, I let them order what they want.
"I'm actually curious Deanns, bakit ka nasa village nina Bea." Jho
"Spoke to a business client of Dad. Di kasi makakapunta si Dad kaya ako na lang muna ang kumuha nung mga papeles na I have to shipped to Davao later. Kayo ba? Anong ginagawa niyo kana Ate Bei?" Deanna
"Actually about that, did you happen to know this letter?" Jia
As I looked at the letter it looks familiar.
"Oh I know this one! Ate Bea and I have a chat about this. You know, you said to her that she should let you go. Wala siyang makausap about that. Kaya pinapunta niya ako sa bahay niya. We drink but mostly she's the one who's really drunk. Ibang Ate Bei yung nakita ko nung gabing yon. Ate Ji it's much worse when Ate Jho doesn't remember her as her lover....
Then she went for a drive by early morning I think 6 am. She's sober by that time. I let her drive kaya naman daw niya eh. Kaya nasa shotgun seat ako. We went to Eliazo, hinatid niya ako. I asked her where she was going but she just smiled at me. I found it creepy at first but she said, she'll be fine so I let her. We bid goodbyes and then next thing I knew she's missing." Deanna
"We should eat." Jho
We ate naman then I paid after. I left early kasi may practice pa si Ate Jho naman hinatid si Jia kana Ate Ella. And joined us after sa practice kahit sabi ni coach na kahit wag muna but she's a hard headed girls also kaya hinayaan na ni coach.
But I observed as she was hitting the ball. Parang puno ng galit. I think she's upset. Kaya nilapitan ko siya.
"Ate Jhow, you okay?" Deanna
"Yes I'm fine." Jho
"You sure?" Deanna
"Yes talk to you later. Bye" Jho
Then she left me. I took a shower after that. I don't want to pushed myself. Ate Bea warned me before to let her breathe first before approaching baka bugahan ka ng apoy.
I got my phone and stared on my inbox.
"Kelan kaya siya magrereply sakin?"
Deanna thought to herself. She drove back to Eliazo.
"Oh busangot ka diyan?" Ponggay
"Go away! Mang-aasar ka lang" Deanna
"Ajujuju! Di ka pa rin nirereplyan ano?" Ponggay
"Shut up Ponggs" Deanna
"Okay lang yan bata... makakaharap mo naman siya sa sunday eh yieee! Kilig keps!" Ponggay
"Urghhh! Ponggay stop or hahalikan kita diyan to shut your mouth" Deanna
"Wag puro salita Deanna Wong" Ponggay
I leaned closer to her... and closer and closer and closer... maybe half inch apart ang labi namin. Nakatitig lang ako sa mga mata niya samantalang siya ay di mapakali na nakatitig sa mga labi ko.
"In your dreams Ponggay! Makipagbalikan ka na lang kay Ate Kiwi kesa ako yung ginugulo mo kasi tuyo ka na." Deanna
Tinulak naman ako ni Ponggay na halatang inis na inis. At ako ito tumatawa dahil sa reaksyon ni Ponggay.
"Siraulo ka talaga Wongskie!" Ponggay
"Oh bakit ka namumula? Hahahaha" Deanna
"Epal ka!" Ponggay
"You know we can help each other... you know make them jealous." Deanna
"Such a desperate move Deanns! Not gonna happen over my dead body!" Ponggay
"lol pag-isipan mo ng mabuti... ikaw din" Deanna
At iniwan naman niya ako at pumunta sa kwarto niya.
Bumalik naman ako sa upo ako at nanood lang ng Netflix
"Hey kid! Anong pinapanood mo?" Jho
"Hi Ate Jhow! Okay ka na ba? I'm watching Jane the Virgin." Deanna
"Yes I'm fine bebe, you don't have to worry about me. Maganda?" Jho
"Ako? Oo. " Deanna "gusto ko lang malaman na okay ka kasi yun ang gusto niyang marinig" pabulong na sabi ni Deanna
"Ha? Ano yon? Hay nako! Puro ka kalokohan...kaya ka di nirereplyan ni crush mo eh!" Jho
"Hala ka diyan! May epal na nakikinig kanina hmmm" Deanna
"Di ah. Na-overheard ko lang di ko sinasadya ng very light." Jho
"If you say so... kumain ka na ba ate jhow?" Deanna
"Yes, ikaw kumain ka na ah. Akyat lang ako sa taas magpapahinga." Jho
"Okay rest well Ate Jho! Alabyow!" Deanna
JHO POV
Earlier I had a dinner with Ate Ells, she needs to see me daw urgent. So we met at her condo.
"Oh bakit busangot ka diyan?" Ella
"Eh I found this letter sa bahay ni Bea na ang nakalagay ako ang nagsulat when it's not even my letter not even my handwriting to begin with." Jho
"Oh? Anong plano mo?" Ella
"Investigate? Hahahaha as if may mangyayari pa. Anyway bakit mo pala ako pinapunta dito." Jho
"Wala lang trip ko lang asarin ka." Ella
"Siraulo ka din ano? Pinapunta punta mo ko sa wala." Jho
"Joke lang! I found this letter kasi!" Ella
"What letter?" Jho
"This letter, from Bea...ibigay ko daw sayo kapag nagstart na UAAP Season 80. I forgot to give it to you. Nawala sa bokubularyo ko kung di pa ako maglilinis. I thinks she's not planning to play Season 80 without your presence or love charot ewan ko biglang binigay niya lang sakin yan eh!" Ella
"Hala! Thank you Ate Ells! I love you!" Jho
"Sige na uwi ka na at dun mo basahin yan...ayoko mapuno ng drama dito sa condo ko." Ella
"Grabe ka pinagtatabuyan mo na ako ngayon?" Jho
"Joke lang Picasso... I think you just need to be alone right now while reading her letter. Now go. You owe me a pizza ah!" Ella
"Wow ako pa nagkautang. Hahaha Bye Donya! Love you!" Jho
I bid my goodbye and left her condo para pumunta sa Eliazo. Gusto kong basahin sana to sa bahay nila kaso baka lamunin ako ng lungkot.
Kaya pagkadating na pagkadating ko ng Eliazo nagmadali akong bumaba ng sasakyan ko. Bubuksan ko sana ang pinto nang nakita kong nag-aasaran si Ponggay at Deanna at mas naging interesado ito dahil sa crush ni Deanna at ex ni Ponggay. Kaya pinanood ko lang at pinakinggan ang pag-aasaran nila. Saka ako pumasok nang umalis na si Ponggay.
Right about my conversation with Deanna. Umakyat na ako ng room ko. At dumapa sa bed ko. While hugging Bea's used shirt. Ang bango bango pa din.
Kinuha ko ang letter ng may kaba sa dibdib. Iniisip ko kung dapat kong buksan ito.
Ngunit di ako nagpadaig sa puso ko. Mas pinili ko ang ikapapayapa ng isip ko ngayon. Dahil miss na miss ko na siya.
Dear Jhoana Louisse Maraguinot,
I don't know why I'm writing this letter to you. Maybe when this reach to you, maybe I left for good sa team. I just want to tell you that I love everything about you. I believe in your passion for volleyball. Keep going love okay? Get the crown back to Katipunan my Eagle Claw.
You came to me unexpectedly. I never anticipated that one day, someone like you would make my heart flutter again. We were best friends and lovers. I could tell you everything. Without secrets, without hesitations, without limits. I opened up my heart to you. It feels so good, yet I feel so afraid. But I chose to continue and enjoyed every moment, without thinking about how it will end.
I find myself thinking about you in the most random situations. Every single day, I was reminded about you. The thoughts of you are hard to eliminate. So, I began to realize then that I am already madly inlove with you and it's hard to let go to the way you want.
It's hard, I know. But I have decided to take a bold risk. I have decided to left the team for your own good. We will have a lot of awkward situation inside the court and I don't want that to affect our games. But to tell you this, it's not your fault, it's my own decision so please don't blame yourself. I love you, I always do. But I have to follow your request. I'm letting you go now, I'm letting your heart to be free. Free from mine from now on. I still love you, I always do but in order for you to be happy, I should leave and maybe start a new one.. be happy please, I don't want to see you being sad. And if ever you remember me... or maybe you want me back in your life. You know where to find me. Just find me in your heart and I will always be there waiting for you. I love you Jhoana Louisse, I always will. Take care. Keep doing what you love. Play well for the team!
Love,
Bei
I cried reading her letter. There's the Beatriz that I miss. I miss you so much love. But I won't let go of you ever. Even if you let me go before you died, I will always feel you here inside my heart. I'm sorry if I haven't remembered you. But I promise you this, I won't dwell on it anymore. I'll move on from this and forever love you. I'll bring back home the crown again for you Love. Thank you for always talking to me whenever I need you the most.
I love you Beatriz...so much. I'll endure the pain until it hurts no more love. So you can see me being happy up there! Okay? I got this!
We'll meet soon love, promise!
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