Two weeks later
Niall's POV:
The burning pain. I feel. It's a wild fire. It starts from my chest all the way down to my toes. It demolishes everything it its path. Disintegrating what I once was into a feeble hollow shell. Filled with nothing but ash and lost dreams. It's like a raging war, but you know, you know your loosing a winning war. And you can't help but think to yourself, when did it all become so fucked up? I realise, now, that it's not from love that these embers have become roaring flames. No not that type of fire not the fire that sweeps you off your feet and fills you with a glow of peacefulness and security. No it's a fire of destruction, it's got a hunger for pain. And that, ladies and gentlemen is what it is. Pain.
You know when people say that love lasts forever? That love is eternal? Well it's bull shit. in my case anyway. My one, my only is slowly slipping away. He used to look at me like a piece of art. That was yet to be completed, because he hadn't figured out what colours to paint me in with or tones, textures, shadows, pencils, pens. But he left me blank, he figured my picture was just to hard to paint. You have to take the time to figure someone out. He's done that with him, but not with me. And it hurts.
Harry's been in a coma for 2 weeks, I think. I lost count of the days, I just remember it was at least 3 days ago since Louis told me he loved me. 2 days since he last kissed my lips and a day since he visited me. yesterday he didn't visit me. Zayn did though and he told me that Louis was here and that he told the guys that he'd seen me. brings me right back to square one. I'm surprised I didn't see this coming. Last time he visited me though and we had a conversation it was all
harry this,
harry that,
do you think he's gonna be OK?
These flames just don't wanna be extinguished. so I let them grow, how long's it gonna take 'till I'm engulfed? it doesn't matter Zayn said he went to fetch him. SO I am gonna do the right thing for him and me. I want him to be happy, if he's not I'm not.
I'm breaking up with him. He's not happy with me.
I still have a bloomin' broken leg, though my ribs are feelin' a little better I still have to wear a cast on them. The doctor told me that I'd have to use a wheel chair for the first few weeks. Then crutches, as my leg would take longer to heal. But of course I cant go far. All i can do is wait for him. For Lou. My boo bear.
-------------------------------------3 hours later----------------------------------
i was staring at a blank TV screen. Sweating buckets and biting on my fingernails, which were nubs anyway, still i didn't seem to notice the pain. To be quite honest I'd had quite enough of this hospital bed and the room. With the insipid milky colours and the scratchy woolen sheets. Just had enough!
I heard a click, come from beside me. I didn't turn around, I could just sense him, like a sixth sense. I always knew if it was him or a different person. Plus he always smelled like cookies or butterscotch. It was a gorgeous smell. The bed pushed down so i had to lean the opposite way slightly, to keep balanced. His weight was another way to tell, I'd lost loads of weight, I hardly had an appetite. Which is kinda strange, but true.
I cant call him mine anymore, my heart may belong to him or at least shattered pieces of it, though his belonged to someone else. With rich bouncy chocolate curls. With bright green eyes, like meadows or fields, that went on forever. Not a bleached blonde, with dull blue eyes. Though they'd turned grey over the past couple of weeks as if everything had been drained from me. Only my life force was left. The blood pumping through my veins.
"Niall!" I looked, into those eyes. My god those eyes. That, if he was to talk you knew what was going to say cos it was as if his mouth moved, but it passed through his eyes. His eyes were the doorway, to his emotions, feeling, dreams, wishes... losses. For i could see myself in those eyes, a mirror image.
"I've been trying to talk to you for 5 god damn minutes." I winced at the venom, he had allowed to drip into his voice.
"I want to talk to you." My voice hard, set in stone. How I felt on the inside was a completely different story. It was like that spongebob episode where Mr crabs changes the krusty crab into a restaurant and he forgets his name and the mini spongebobs are running around inside his head screaming.
"What about?" His voice was now tough, almost forced. Though it didn't conceal any venom that it did earlier. His eyes, however, were filled with raw unspoken emotions.
"I cant... cant..." I gasped. It was hurting so bad. It was like my throat was closing in on itself. It was just hurting so bad. falling, His brow was furrowed not concerned, confused.
"What? Can't what?"
I think I blanked out for 10 minutes not understanding... How i felt. I could hear my heart beating, hammer, against cloth.
"WHAT NIALL?!"
"I cant take the hurt." We screamed at each other, both at each others throat. He stared at me in shock, he couldn't understand what I did it for.
When he did, his jaw clenched. He didn't care. Of course not. he stood up opening the door, he stepped through, but not before turning to me.
"I hate you." It slammed shut the frame shuddering under the amount of forced he used, but those three words. It was enough, to shoot me down in an instant. The silence crawled to me, whispering. Drilling a hole in my skull. Lyrics were bought to the surface.
I wanted to know you,
I wanted to show you.
You don't know me,
Don't ignore me,
You don't want me there ,
You just shut me out....
Another set, rang through my head,
I'm giving up,
On everything,
Because you messed me up,
Don't know how much you screwed it up.
You never listen,
that's just to bad.
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So much for my friggin' happy ending, I chuckled, humorlessly. I buzzed the nurse. Waiting impatiently, fidgeting on the bed, getting angrier by the minute.
She rushed in a few minutes later. Breathless.
"Yes, Niall?"
"Pen and paper, please?" I demanded, politely. I hope none of the guys visit me.
"'Course."
I pressed the pen to the paper. Just splattering my thoughts and emotions across the paper.
Guys,
So which one of you wants me to stay? You know, ever since I fell in love, I've not been the same.
Well. I'm still in love. Rejection hurts. I'm sorry guys. I love you all.
Harry.
You curly haired monkey, ima miss you. iI the singing career doesn't work our, world class chef. Oh and, Louis' yours.
Liam.
You are like my dad/ bff/ big bro. we have a love/ hate relationship, but you bring out the best in me and I love you.
Zayn.
Deep an meaningful. You remind me of the ocean. Deep, yet brimming with life and so important. I'll hold you close.
Louis.
Goodbye.
Niall x
I folded it up, into quarters. Laying it on my bedside table, propping it up against the lamp. I threw my legs over the edge of the bed, quickly, but still gently. Wincing a the slight pain. Grasping the crutches 'this is gonna hurt like a bitch later'. I have to be quick.. I got changed and was about to leave, but I wrote down some lyrics.
I need to lock the door, (lock)
Throw away the key,
Swallow the pain,
Kiss me goodbye, (miss me).
We used to be full of life and full of love,
Where did those days go?
Where did your love go?
Where did you go? (don't go)
I want you in my arms, (I want, want)
Breathe in your hair, (breathe)
Feel you on my lips,
Take me away, (take me away)
We're full of hate and full of pain, (faint screams)
Why did it come to this?
Why did I do it?
Why did you say it?
I quickly grabbed the note. I hopped out, into the corridor. Almost screaming in pain, the crutches were pressing into my ribs. Probably leaving another array of bruises across my torso. Tears were streaming down my face, from physical pain and emotional pain. God, i sound like a girl. Man up, Niall. I arrived at Harry's room, which took longer than expected, even though it's right next to mine. I peered in through the window. Just Harry, Lou must have gone to the loo. I stepped in and placed the note on the bedside table.
I lowered my gaze onto Harry. He looked so peaceful. I kissed him on the forehead and sighed. this is it.
"Tell him, I love him." I lent up. Looking up into green eyes.
"Nia-"
"Bye Hazza." I smiled and waved. I went as fast as me and my "peg leg" could. Ignoring his calls, rushing out the hospital into the damp and dark streets. This is me.
Harry's POV:
I was struggling to break free, Of these dark bonds, leaving me strapped and tied down, i'm not sure how long I'd been tied here. The time was meaningless. Wow, it sucks to be me... Self-centered much? I heard a voice. I held onto it. allowing me to be dragged to the surface. It leading the way. 'Till a white light blinded me. I opened my eyes.
Niall.
"Tell him I love him." He drew back and looked me in the eyes. They widened slightly, then went back to their normal size, what was going on?
"nia-" I tried to question him. But I was to slow. My voice dry and weak. I was so tired.
"Bye Hazza." He smiled kindly at me, with a sympathetic tinge in those lapiz lazuli coloured eyes. Huh? He waved and was off.
"Niall?!" I cried. Where is he going? He looks bruised and battered. To the extreme. I huffed, christ. Oh well he'll come back. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. My eyes were drawn to it. A note. Addressed to "guys". scribbled in Niall's messy handwriting. It looked as though he hadn't written in weeks. I reached over to open it, then thought better of it. Grrrr. Best wait, 'till the guys are here.
I coughed, for about 5 minutes. I think at one point a lung may have come up. My head, was rolling off my shoulders, in agony.
"Harry?" It was only a small, squeaking whisper. But i heard it all the same.
"Louis." it wasn't a question. I actually sighed his name. So glad to hear him. the way he said my name, just made a fire spread through my veins. Tingles being left in their wake. He was just standing there. A huge grin on his tanned, golden face. Right before he squealed and launched himself at me. I groaned, a pain right below my ribs just stabbed at me. (no pun intended). He didn't seem to notice. kissing all over my face. He lifted his head up slowly, staring me right in the eyes. His face only mere centimetres from mine. My throat went dry, drier than it all ready was, if that's possible. My eyes, went wide. Exceedingly so. He was leaning in. Slowly, ever so slowly. Closing his eyes, I watched him. Every detail become clear, Still, I closed my eyes.
His lips brushed mine, the electricity buzzed through me. I opened my eyes. Shock and lust, He was taring at me with a quizzical expression.
He suddenly gasped.
"Holy, shit balls!" He then giggled. "Jim carrey." I rolled my eyes, He got out his phone, dialled a number. almost at the speed of light. Yeesh. He pressed the cold surface to his ear.
"Yeah. Hi. Harry. Bye!" He exclaimed, over the space of three seconds into the phone, before ending the call. He didn't even give the person a chance to reply. I chuckled and once agiain, rolled my eyes.
--------------------------------------20 minutes later------------------------------------------
"HARRY!" I heard 2 boys chorus. Bradford and wolverhampton accents mushed together. Right before the air was compressed out of me... again. If this was to become a thing, I need some armour.
"Hola! Buenos dias!" I grinned, this is more like it... I faltered, when I remembered, the note. It drew the attention of my eyes. Soon everyone else's eyes followed. Liam picked it up lightly, opemed it and read it slowly.
"Niall." It came out, barely, as a whisper.
"What about him?" That was Louis. Ooh i remember.
"He told me, to tell you, that he loves you." There were tears, now, at the corner of Louis' eyes. They whispered to me in only a language i understood. He bit his lip as i pulled him in ofr a hug. Sobs made their way through his body.
We just sat their in stunned silence, except for Louis' shallow breathing, as Liam read the note. By the end tears were kissing Louis hair and my T-shirt was soaked. Liam was ghastly plae. Zayn had collapsed inti a chair, he was shaking, I think all of us were hit hard, Suddenly Liam slammed his fist onto the table. His face was bright red and there were fresh tear marks down his face.
"This is all your fault, Louis! How could you?!" WE gaped at him. Except Louis. Who's face was switching from anger, guilt, sorrow and confusion.
"Liam... I-"
"NO! Louis you were meant to be his boyfriend. You know? With the hearts and kisses? Cuddling? Sneaking hugs and make out sessions?" He looked down, letting out an exasperated sigh. He glanced upwards at Louis. "Do you even know the meaning of love? Hm? No. 'Course you don't. Love is infinte. You sit and have picknicks in the park. Feeding each other grapes. Love is where you would cross continents just to make sure, your other half is ok. Or you would wait years just to see them back to health. If you can't even do any of those." He shook his head pursing his lips, in dissapointment. "You really don't know what love is." He opened his mouth to say something. But closed his mouth and smiled bitterly.
"Heh. You've really fucked up this time." Slamming the door. You could hear his trainers squeaking on the tiled floor. We all stared at the door astounded. Until the sound faded. Zayn was the first to speak up.
"Louis- I'm sorry, man..." He shuffled out the door slowly. My gaze was drawn to Louis.
"Boo-" he cut me off.
"Am I a monster? Do I deserve to feel this guilt? It's like someone has punched me in the stomach and ripped off my skin... I wish they had." Chuckling dryly. "It's all fucked up."
"Lou-"
"No. Ha-"
"Louis William Tomlinson!" My face clenched. My gaze fiery, turning into an almost hazy red.
"No harry, let's just go to sleep." I sighed in defeat, I was mega tired.
"OK night Lou." He just turned around and lay still.
"I'm gonna try and find him tomorrow, then ima bring him back."
The nurse strode in.
"What makes you think he'll come back?" She snickered.
"Yes, what makes you think he will come back?" All though I was genuinley curious. I raised an eyebrow and scoffed, realising at what I just said.
"Do you really think this is a good time to quote Johnny depp?" The nurse asked. Baffled.
"Both of you just shut up!" Louis screamed. I let a loud sigh. I give up. Hopefully tomorrow will bring something new and GOOD.
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So what do you think? I had to write the last bit twice? There won't be so many Nialls POV anymore, but ima write a sequel. Which is about niall and where he goes and etc.
:3 well there's your new chappie.
Adios amigos!
E ;D =D