A/N: Bold lettering represents Peter taking to himself and to the reader.
"My name is Peter Benjamin Parker Romanoff. I was adopted by Natasha Romanoff when i was a month old after my birth family had died in a plane crash and lived a pretty normal life,until i was bitten by a radioactive spider while on a field trip to Oscorp industries and soon after i found myself with spider like powers. I soon met the Avengers thanks to my mother having her avenger friend Tony Stark have me be tested for my powers. I soon came up with this idea of wanting to be a hero and was given a highly enhanced spider stark suit by my mother and Tony Stark. Now i'm Spider-Man! And right now...I'm in a bit of a sticky situation of a two bit villian with the most ridiculous name ever" Peter had been trapped to a wall by a glue as a man wearing purple and yellow armor holding a gun like machine yelled victoriously."You see Spider-Man? You're no match for Paste Pot Pete!!"."Told you his name is goofy".
-Earlier that day-
"So late! So late! This what happens when I decide to stay up all night and watch trash t.v." Peter had been webswinging through new york as car honked and people pointed up at him "wait I watch trash t.v. every night plus I'm always late for work anyway". Peter shot another webline and webswung until he saw a man on a rooftop with what seemed to be a empty bag trying to find a way to get into an apartment window."Well work can wait a bit,after all I need to do my spider job first". "Hey there!" The teen said as he landed on the roof and looked at the man "Uh...weirdly dressed guy?". The man turned around and looked at Peter as he was dressed in light purple and yellow armor while holding what seemed to be a blaster of some sort."must be a madonna or lady gaga fan to dress like that".
"Spider-Man!!" The man shouted surprissed as he held the gun like device towards Peter "You won't stop me from taking what I want!!."Look...Uh who are you bud?" Peter asked as he titled his head towards the man."I still think this guy is just some crazy madonna fan". The man growled as he looked at Peter and shouted in what seemed to be an attempt at a sinister and fearful voice."I am Paste Pot Pete!". Peter let out a snicker before speaking "Paste Pot Pete?"."Yes and I-". Suddenly Peter let out a laugh and held his stomach before falling on his back "Paste Pot Pee-Hee hee hee!!"."Hey...". Peter slowly got back to his feet while chuckling "oh! Think I just shot some webs out of my nose!"."Shut up before i-". "Wait one second" Peter said as he stood up and held his hand up at Paste Pot Pete "Hoo boy. Ah. Okay all right. I'm ready now. Really".The teen snorted and started laughing again "No I'm not!!". The teen fell back on to his back and roared with laughter."Paste Pot Pete HAHAHA!!". "That's it I'm changing my name.." Peste Pot Pete walked away and climbed down the fire escape of the building. Peter got back as he calmed down from laughing "Oh boy...man I need that. Humor is the best medicine". "Hey where the torch go or better yet the comedian" The teen said as he noticed that Paste Pot Pete had left."He left before I make quips about his name".
"What was I doing again? Oh yeah gotta get to work. Lucky for me I can webswing" Peter shot another webline and webswung away while on the streets Paste Pot Pete walked grumbling as a few people looked at him and questioned what he was wearing."I'll teach that twit to laugh at me. He wouldn't like if I randomly showed up and ruined his pans" The man then stopped as he noticed the daily bugle come to view "and I think I know how". Paste Pot Pete smirked and walked towards the bugel as Peter stuck to the side of the building and climbed through the open window of the janitor's closet."Alright made it to the bugel and now to figure out how I can sneak into the office without being noti-" The teen was about to take off his mask until he heard the sound of something crashing "and looks like I'm going to work in my costume". "C'mon...Pleease!" Paste Pot Pete had said as he looked at Jj Jameson and the daily bugle staff who seemed to be stuck to the wall by glue."Even if I had that wall-crawling menace's home address, I wouldn't give it to to someone who holds me and my staff hostage!" Jameson growled "do you have any idea what this stunt of yours is doing to the bugel's productivity!?!"."Wow" Everyone turned their heads to the side to see Peter sticking to the wall "I never knew you cared so much about your employees' well being Jonah"."I guess he actaully does have a heart of gold underneath all that anger"."You! This is all your fault,you webswinging hooligan!!"."And the anger is back"."you missed a spot there pastey" Peter said as he shot a web at Jameson's mouth as it the man and covered his mouth."I really don't need Jonah yelling at me when I'm fighting glue stick".
"I see you came to ruin my plan again you pest!!" Paste Pot Pete said as he aimed his gun at Peter and fired a stream of glue at him only for the teen to dodge it."What can i say I'm a meddling arachind" Peter quipped as the glue hit the door and sealed it."Hah, it worked! Now you're trapped in here with me!!"."Okay.." The teen said as he looked at the sealed door "I gotta admit..that was actually pretty smart"."I wonder if his goofy name and fashion choice is apart of his plan to make people laugh". "You're mine now Spider-Man!!" Paste Pot Pete yelled as he shot multiple glue shots as the teen dodged them."Yeah sorry Pastey, I'm not interested in you like that. Plus no offense you look very very old" the webhead quipped before getting hit by a stream of glue "CRAP!! UUGGGHH!! stuff...is too strong"."I guess this is karma for laughing at pastey earlier".
Paste Pot Pete chuckled as he looked at Peter."How does it feel to be messed with!! How does it feel punk!!"."Okay,this guy is starting to annoy me more than Flash Thompson"."Alright, alright you caught me not!!" Peter said as he managed to use his free hands to fire a web at Paste Pot Pete covering the man's eyes as the teen used his all his strength to break out of the glue. Peter quickly broke the glue gun before undercutting Paste Pot Pete to the ceiling before webbing the man to the ceiling."LET ME OUT OF HERE!!" Paste Pot Pete yelled as he tried to break out of the webbing while Peter freed the hostages from the glue."Zip it pastey" Peter said as he webbed the man's mouth shut as police entered the building "and great timing boys in blue"."seriously Paste Pot Pete was being annoying". Peter got the man down from the ceiling as the cops took Paste Pot Pete and started to walk out the building."MENACE!! YOU RUINED MY OFFICE!!" Jameson yelled as he pointed a finger at the spider powered teen "JUST WAIT TILL I HAVE THOSE PHOTOS OF YOU IN TH-Wait a mintue! Where's Romanoff!!?!!!"."Quick make up an excuse make an up an excuse!"."Oh uh...he had an emergency to take care of..yeah uh bye" Peter then shot a web and webswung out of the building."Nailed it....i think. Well I learned something today. The villain with the lamest name does exist,welp time to go home and watch trash t.v. and eat cereal"."Paste Pot Pete" the teen snickered while webswing "What a goofy name".
To be continued
Peter Capaldi as Peter Petruski/Paste Pot Pete