Tick
Tick
AVA
Tick. Tick.
Ava lifted her head off her pillow at the sound of her timer. It clicked on. Out of her bed, she brushed back her bangs with a huff, where the weight of her responsibilities slammed on her shoulders. What should I do? Questions swirled around in her head at the possibility of what she failed to notice before. James avoided her from the moment around the campfire, keeping his head down to hide their shared hazel eyes. Ava scraped her fingers against her scalp and frowned deeper where no one saw her uncertainty.
I think first... Rayan and I need to have a conversation.
Ava nodded and forced a smile on her face and hauled herself out of bed. Out of her room, Janie played with her rover along the carpet in her room, and paid her no mind as she stopped outside of James' closed door. Ava opened it without difficulty, where her twin brother sprawled on his back with his face in his pillow. Ava hesitated on the threshold. "James?"
He isn't trying to smother himself, is he?
Ava came closer to his side, but he breathed without struggle.
"I'm going to Rayan's," Ava said.
James lifted his other pillow over his head in response and went limp.
Somehow, I'm going to make this right.
Ava left him in his isolation for the time being to head downstairs, where the ticking strengthened from Grandfather's antique clock, where Dad left its embrace with a smug grin. "You will not best me stupid clock."
James' words haunted her while Dad heaved himself onto his legs, and she approached him. "Dad?" He gave her a light nod and closed the clock, where the ticks muffled through the barrier bubble. Ava twiddled her fingers, but pushed on. "Do you... Are you disappointed in James just because he doesn't do what you want for him?"
He stopped, then turned to her with a frown. "And where is this coming from?"
Ava stepped back from him as he gave the antique a once over. "I was just curious."
Dad sighed, and it reflected her brother once more. "James is going to do what he wants whether I disapprove or not — but to answer your question, no." He picked up the tools with a scowl. "Maryse, I'm going to get started on that leaky part of the roof. I fixed my dad's damned hellclock. Hated the damned thing since I was their age..." He grumped his way to the corridor to tug a cigar out of his jacket. Ava waited until he disappeared the back way before turning to Mom.
"I'm going to Rayan's for a bit," she said.
Mom hesitated. "Is everything alright? You and James have been despondent."
"I-It's nothing," Ava said. "I swear. It's just something that needs to be worked out."
Summer heat blasted through the Eastpoint and waves of dizziness lifted off the concrete. Store-owners set up cooling awnings for shade and protection. Yvonne stood with a gaggle of other girls who whispered quietly to each other. Ava waved at them, but didn't stop to chat.
Ava stopped in the shade, where an Elite sat on a box with their hand pressed against their blank mask. Used to their presence, she smiled in relief at what rested beneath the unreadable mask the Sanctum made them wear. Nothing more than an average Exalian when the mask hissed off the woman's face, where they took out a flask off their tool belt to drink. Dog-tags sat around their neck. B-3. No information. No name.
Only a single letter and number.
Ava left the Elite alone and through the shortcuts of the forest. Shades from the boughs protected her from the blazing Eteran summer. Leaves rustled in the breeze above her head. In sight, the familiar Falae property shielded by a barrier gate. Two Elites stood in silence on either side.
Ava headed up to them and forced a smile on her face. "Hot today, isn't it?"
The two Elites glanced at each other. "It's a different heat compared to Kestra," a man's voice responded. "Mr. Falae told us to expect some company."
Ava raced for the front door and didn't bother to ring the doorbell. Anything to escape the burning heat. As she crossed one of the living room arches, she spotted Rayan alone on the couch, his nose against his fingers while a program on the I-Screen paused in the middle of the yawning abyss. "Hey, Ray," she said and rounded the couch, where he nodded at her. Ava took a seat on the cushion, and curled her fingers together.
But where do I start?
Ava gazed at Rayan, who stared into space.
"I think we should talk about what happened," Ava said, and Rayan lowered his gaze. "Just... to get things cleared up." Because ever since then, I'm starting to wonder... Ava tucked her fingers in her knuckles and smiled at Rayan. "I think that's the only way we'll figure this out."
Rayan tensed up. "You're right, so..." He breathed deep. He winced and set his clenched hands against his lap. Ava longed to make things easier, but nothing had been easy. Frustration twinged through her heart, but not out of jealousy — not out of any sort of apprehension.
But I saw the way James acted with Rayan... but... why didn't he just tell me?
"Ray?" Ava asked.
"Yeah?"
Ava gazed at him, where he met her with an unsure frown. "What happened at the campfire," she repeated. "I have to ask... how do you feel about my brother?" Ava scooted closer. "Before you get freaked out, I just want to figure this out. So, it's okay to be honest with me. We were friends first."
Rayan nodded, then breathed into his fist. "I do like you."
But have you been wondering the same as me?
It was the validation she needed, the understanding that it wasn't just her.
Rayan hid behind his hands with a soft groan. "I messed up, didn't I?" He released himself from his protection, then nodded at her. "I was wondering when it happened... and I... should've stopped it, but James was always so much stronger than me." He frowned and water filled the golds. He hid in his hands again. "I'm so stupid."
Ava held Rayan's shoulder, then smiled at him. "It's okay. I'm not mad, just..."
Sad... that my brother had to hide that from me of all people, how did he think I'd react? Was he scared of me?
Her heart broke apart at the thought, and they sat in silence. Rayan dipped lower. "So... what do you want to do?"
Honestly? I don't know anymore. What can I do that won't just... hurt him more?
Impossible situation.
"What do you want to do?" she asked.
Rayan blinked a couple times, then opened his mouth to respond.
Both of them jumped out of their seats when the front door swung open, and Meryn slid around the bend, waving his bag. "I'm back, thanks for pausing the show!" he said, loud and rambunctious as he used to be. Ava smiled at the familiarity, but Rayan rested his brow in his hands. He came to a stop underneath the arch. "Am I... interrupting something? I can come back."
Ava shook her head. "No, you're fine. I didn't realise you were here before/"
Meryn sat on the free chair. "I was only here before because Aelius needed to talk to Mrs. Falae. I guess they're still talking."
Rayan nodded. "They are. It's got to be something important with how long they've taken."
Meryn unpaused the I-Screen and swung one leg over the other. "I just know it's something Aelius had to tell her before he went back to work at the hospital." Meryn tapped his fingers against the seat. "So, can I address the elephant in the room and ask how James is?"
"He's uh..." Ava sighed. "Now's around the time he'd go on his walk, but when I left him he was lying down."
"It sucks, I wanted to watch the new season with him," Meryn said. "I try to catch up to him on his usual route, but he shakes me off."
Ava frowned. "Our house has been... suffocating as of late."
Rayan's golden eyes flashed in realization and understanding.
"Whatever for?" Meryn asked and took a sip of his capsule.
"Him and our dad have been fighting a lot more," Ava admitted. "I don't know what about. It gets close to screaming matches sometimes."
"Is that new?"
"It's only gotten more intense since I found out James wanted to join the Strike forces," she stated. "And the campout."
Meryn choked on his drink. "Since when?"
"I found out the day before the varsity game." Ava hugged herself. "I said a lot of things I probably shouldn't have."
Meryn looked between her and Rayan with a concerned frown. "Is everything okay? Are you sure I'm not interrupting anything?"
"We're good now." Ava motioned at the playing program, and Meryn turned the volume up.
Footsteps sounded from the split stairway, where Mrs. Falae and Aelius reached the first floor. Nervous fear creased Aelius' brow as they moved into the foyer. "I'll have a talk with them." Mrs. Falae patted Aelius on the back. "Don't stress yourself too much until we know a little more."
Aelius nodded. "I understand, Mrs. Falae," he whispered. "Meryn? Are you going to stay here?" Meryn nodded with a point at the screen, and Aelius' gentle expression returned. "Okay. I've got to get going and tell Mom I'll be heading to the hospital. I won't be off until Octan."
"You got it, Aeli." Meryn gave his older brother a thumbs up.
Ava's heart dropped at Aelius' fake smile and gave Mrs. Falae a respectful bow and left the manor. Last remnants of uncertainty crossed his face when he disappeared back into the summer blaze.
"Where are you going?" Rayan asked as Mrs. Falae headed to the threshold.
"Just for a walk." Mrs. Falae smiled at her son, one of genuine happiness and love for her son. "I have to check on the Elites so I should be home by dinner. Enjoy the show."
"Dinner..." Ava hummed. "I need to be home before then. I promised I'd help cook Dad's favourite meal today."
"Oh, beef stew?" Meryn questioned.
Ava tapped her stomach. "We thought it the best parting goodbye until he comes back from work again. Mom's going to teach me the recipe."
"Sweet!" Meryn drawled. "There's nothing like Mom cooking. Mrs. Falae makes the best cookies. Your mom makes the best stew. My mom makes the best roast."
"I'll be sure to tell her," Ava joked. "You're always welcome at our house, Meryn."
As the program continued, with Meryn making quippy commentary, Rayan remained despondent. Her mind drifted back to her family. Back to James. Dad doesn't feel that way. But... James is so confused, I can see that now... Her nails dug into her knees. I want to fix this somehow, but how? How do I do that without making things worse? Ava brought her hand to the half of her twin necklace, a connection with a simple click.
"Hey, Captain Ranier," Meryn said, Ava smiled at him. "So, our first destination is Kestra?"
"That's my vacation, Meryn." Ava laughed. "If you have any other ideas, I'm open."
Meryn pinched his chin. "I need some thinking time. I'll have lots of ideas for when you get back, Cap'n!"
Ava laughed, and the answer was so clear. "I need to stretch my legs," she said. "Keep watching, I'll catch up later."
Meryn waved at her, while Rayan nodded, and the two delved into a whispered conversation. It was a quick walk to the artistry dome, where pictures lined the frames on the clean workbenches. Beautiful, painted landscapes echoed the frozen moments with a personal touch. From the way Rayan sorted James' pictures, he was making a collage. Ava unclipped her compearl, and sorted through the options.
Her finger rested on the purple record tab. Ava placed it in front of the fantastical collage. It flashed a red warning, and she prepared herself for the words she found herself unable to say in a single moment.
"Hey, Ray," she said to the red warning, and fought with the awkwardness of the one-sided compearl call. "I'll be sending you this later because there's a lot of things I need to say to you. Thanks won't cut it, so I'll just..." Hesitation strangled her, but she continued on, for happiness. "After the campout when James walked away, we talked. I told you I didn't want James to leave. He hasn't changed his mind, I know, and I don't think he will at this point. So..." Ava twiddled her fingers. "First, I want to thank you. You made a promise you really didn't have to make," she said with a soft laugh, then put a hand on her beating heart. "You told me not to worry, that you'd protect my brother with your life." She huffed. "Which means you're going to follow him around once we... figure out everything else. He's not going to enjoy that, you know, but I know if given time... he might just..."
Maybe change.
"You know, no matter what it means, that's why I care about you, Ray," she said. "People can see you as a troublemaker, but that's not what I see in you. You always try to be there for others. You're willing to do whatever it takes to make them smile again, even if they struggle." Ava dug her nails into her palm while the hurt filled her heart. "You're not a troublemaker. You're the definition of loyalty. So, I need to say this... I do like you, a lot... but now I'm starting to wonder if it was the way we both thought it was."
Ava loosened her grip. "We're going to end up on separate paths for a time. I want you to know I'll miss you and James. I'm going to send you pictures of the things I see. I know James would flip and complain that he's the photographer, but, I see now what makes him happy. I know things are confusing right now, but I know we can work it out. He cares about you a lot, Rayan, and you've changed his life."
But there's one more thing I need to say.
"If you show this to James, I have a message for him too," she said and held the wolf necklace. "James, you're my twin brother. I know you're scared, and that you don't like to show it... I think that's what I meant when I compared you to Dad. You're both scared of something, but don't want to burden others with it. Either way, you didn't need to hear those words from me. I don't want you to worry, but I don't want you to feel like you have to run away from me." Ava shook her head. "I don't want to turn around one day and find that you're..."
It weighed heavy in her throat, but she pressed on, "I know you don't need me worrying over you," she whispered. "I know you want me to be happy. We came into this world together, and I just want you to be safe and happy too."
Her smile died as she came closer to the compearl. "James, I don't want to wake up one day to find that you're gone and I'll never see you again."
Words lifted into space, and the catharsis lifted her heard and returned her smile. "Well, that was nice. Maybe I'll end up saying this later anyway, but it was good practice."
Someone called her name, and she ended the recording, locking it behind a timer in case she found no strength to say the real thing. Ava rushed out of the dome, where Meryn stood at the upper landing. "You won't believe who came over!"
"Hold on!" Ava rushed up the stairs, but slid to a stop when James stood in the front foyer.
Rayan pulled him into a hug, which James returned after fearful hesitation.
Ava joined in, where her words from before never poured out the truth of her love as Rayan let go and allowed her to embrace her brother as tight as she could.
I don't want to lose you. I don't want to wake up and realise I'll never see you, or hear your voice ever again.