"NOW THE LORD IS THAT SPIRIT,
AND WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS,
THERE IS LIBERTY."
- II Corinthians 3:17
(Engraving behind the statue named The Spirit of Detroit)
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Closing credits written to "Champion" by Barns Courtney"
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The Making of Deviant Behavior
There's a lot of mushy stuff later in this letter, but I wanted to share a quick personal experience with you before we dive into that realm of emotions. So, being straight-forward: Here we go.
There's been one consistent topic of discussion since the publication of Deviant Behavior on June 8th, 2018. Why the "Reader" (AKA Phoenix, courtesy of Cerulaine) wasn't an "Original Character."
To answer that question, I'd like to start by sharing the short version of the story about my first semester of college.
I've always had a fascination with Humanities. Being 18 and excited to be out of high school, I decided to start my academic career with topics I was passionate about in order to make the transition more bearable. I immediately enrolled in Anthropology, Psychology, Mythology...and I couldn't find another class that wasn't full. I've always been a procrastinator, and I started picking classes too close to the semester's start date.
Perhaps not to your surprise, I chose Philosophy.
Within two weeks, I realized I fucked up. Bad.
Everything I learned about in Anthropology muddied the lessons in Mythology. Everything I learned in Psychology contradicted Philosophy. I didn't think I was going to make it, and quite frankly, I hated Philosophy.
I complained so much about why people needed to put so many fucking words into one sentence when they were just trying to explain a simple concept. I was angry that I spent 8 hours a week decoding 3 pages of Aristotle, Socrates, Plato, or any other of the assholes who made the first half of that semester a living hell.
I tried to pick apart each paragraph piece by piece, and it wouldn't work. But then one day, in Psychology, we were talking about Sigmund Freud. I won't go into Freudian theory, but someone in my Philosophy class who shared this Psychology class with me asked a question in the middle of a lecture:
"Why do people compare Freud and Nietzsche?"
My Psychology professor told us that Freud was actually influenced by Nietzsche greatly. So then I asked:
"How could a Philosopher influence a Psychologist when Psychology disproves core concepts of Philosophy?"
She told us a story about how when Nietzsche died, Freud bought his collective works. I fact-checked her, and saw that Freud had actually said:
"'I have just acquired Nietzsche, in whom I hope to find words for much that remains mute in me.'"
And I thought to myself, if this "Nietzsche" could help make sense of anything that Crazy Fuck Freud was going on about, then maybe reading his work would help me understand Philosophy in general.
I went to the book store, poked around the student texts...and found a copy of Beyond Good and Evil, picked solely because I thought the title was the coolest out of all of them.
What I didn't expect to find was that his work helped me understand life.
I won't go into too much detail, here, but I truly felt like by reading his work, I reached a higher level of understanding everything.
How "Humanities," wasn't just a group of Core B classes that I needed to take in order to get my degree – but that they were called that because these concepts were what made us human.
Okay, moving on.
Let's talk about you.
The Reader.
The person where in Chapter 12: Beyond Good and Evil, Connor stated that you shared the same psychological profile as Friedrich Nietzsche. How you spread the word of a deviant "speech," through Revised Article 9 and threatened the conceptual schemes which housed the world (Chapter 10: Shades of Color.). How you became a danger to society when you lead yourself away from "safety" (Chapter 23: The Raven.)
Let's talk about how from Chapter 24: Disconnect Command until Chapter 33: Just a Machine were filled with "tech-a-phors," and the titles of each chapter were mechanical in nature. And then, in Chapter 34: Become Human, Connor embraced the idea that he was more than just a machine.
And so did you.
From there on, the character development followed true to the "thing within itself," the real you that you'd lost and found again.
I've read all of your wonderful comments about how many of you came here without a strong understanding of Philosophy. Some picked it up quicker than others, and that's perfectly fine. Some of you already understood Philosophy and were just along for the ride, anxious to see how it was related to Detroit: Become Human.
But the universal "click," that build-up of rereading sentences and deconstructing them and the motivation to keep reading until you understood...That final "ah-hah!" moment I've watched you verbalize in feedback...
That was you, becoming deviant. And that, was the goal, of this story. That is precisely why I decided to write it as a reader insert, something I honestly hadn't done before writing Deviant Behavior.
To have you experience that feeling of waking up through your own eyes, as if you'd peered into a previously unexplored "side of the mirror."
And now that you're a danger to society, ready to stomp all over those little safety schemes of the world...I'll leave you with one quote you've probably heard a few times from Robo Jesus Markus:
You're Awake Now.
Behind the Name
There's something I've learned to appreciate more than I had before I started writing Deviant Behavior:
The absolute power of the subconscious mind.
While I was crafting sentences, certain topics would be pulled from memory, and I had to go research those ideas in order to better translate them into a fictional piece. The chapter "Quantic Dream," named after the developer of Detroit: Become Human is a great example of that.
I didn't question it, I usually don't. I just let those ideas go while rage-typing, and later refined them.
Naming this fic, I couldn't figure out where I pulled "Deviant Behavior" from. It just came to me out of my random-knowledge-and-shit-pipeline. I learned that it's actually a psychological term, which is why all the spin-offs (outlined in the next "chapter") ended up being named after psychological terms, as well.
When I was replaying the game, I finally realized where this title came from, and I thought you'd all appreciate seeing it, too.
Special Thanks
While my previous works aren't as refined as Deviant Behavior came to be, they are still outlets of written passion that I intend on completing. They are a culmination of years' worth of trial and error, learning how to find my voice as a writer. The fact remains that none of them would have been possible without the help of the FanFiction Reddit; the person who inspired me to write, Fenjosi; and the incredible writer who helped me hone my writing through meticulous readings during a fic swap, Tafferling. Sub to that reddit page and check out their stuff - they are amazing.
If I hadn't met these incredible individuals or had become active in a community filled with readers and writers alike, this story and all the others would have been very different. They may have even never come to light.
I also want to take a moment to thank my loving boyfriend, who has supported me and kept my head above water since October of 2018. You were always understanding when I would disappear for hours on end without explanation, burying myself in homework or writing. You pushed me to better myself. You told me to keep going when others would have asked me, and have asked me, to stop. You'll never know how much I appreciate you, because as good as I am with words, I simply can't find them.
And, since we're on the shout-out train, I want to thank OctoCryptik, one of my best friends that I worked with for almost two years and is now a moderator in the Deviant Behavior Discord. You were among the first people in the "real world" that I shared this side of my life with. You didn't judge, you didn't pry, you just listened and allowed me to integrate you into a community that you've become a core pillar in. Know that I am both proud and thankful for our friendship, and everything you've done for me. I can't wait to see where streaming takes you.
As for Deviant Behavior itself, it was supposed to be an 8-chapter-long smutfic with just enough plot to satiate my need to give some extra life into this fantastic universe. 8 chapters turned into 20, and 20 chapters turned into enough for more than one book. The story's outreach has touched Tumblr, , Wattpad, and AO3 alike.
Since then, this fic has inspired more than 20 pieces of art, 5 translations, 6+ writing pieces, an audio book, and was even noticed by Bryan Dechart on Twitter.
To these creators and the various members of the Deviant Behavior Discord – I love you, and words can't express how much our interactions have meant to me. I've become close with so many of you, and we've been through so much together. We've created a community that I look forward to being a part of long after this series is complete, a message I've repeated countless times.
From those of you who have been around since day one, to those of you who binged this piece in a few sittings – thank you.
No matter how you got here, thank you all for making this journey more.
Message from the Betas
MjrGenMatt
To the fans of Deviant Behavior:
Eleven months ago, our dear friend Taylor took the time one warm evening to message me about this cool new game she'd bought, and beat me over the head with how I needed to buy it (and a PlayStation 4 on which to play it). Two weeks of waffling later, we compromised and I did the thing. What followed was an experience in actual wonderment at the game's potential, and during the course of the next few days I could practically see the gears turning in her head as this story became more and more of an untamable entity. As some of you might know, mostly because I would never shut the hell up about it, this story was originally intended to eight chapters long, centered around Taylor's rampant thirstiness. What followed was a constantly evolving adventure, sweeping up a completely outrageously large fanbase, one that flooded our inboxes with comments full of praise, happiness, inspiration, and the occasional request for dicc. Through these comments, I met so, so many friends and acquaintances that changed my life for the better. This includes Elle, and Cherish, two people I cannot express enough thankfulness for having met. Seriously – you two have become two of the brightest stars in my sky, and I can't wait to see what adventures capture us. Along with Rachel and me, the four of us became the Beta Baes (or Beanie Babies). These three ladies, along with the one that wrote this beast, are friends I hope to keep for, like, ever. We created a Discord server to interact more closely with all of you, and quite frankly I wouldn't change any of it. I established myself as a mainstay of the server, in more ways than one, and despite the tendency to push my buttons, you're all most certainly very important to me. I appreciate having had the chance to work on this story while discussing, teasing, or otherwise shooting the breeze with all of you fine deviants.
Thank you all for being who you are, and supporting all of us - especially Taylor - in her endeavors within Detroit.
To the author, Taylor:
Whether or not you expected this, you most certainly won't be escaping without another round of niceties. As always, and as I've said a hundred times by now, it has and always will be nothing short of an honor to work with you. Your stories inspire a degree of emotion and joy I've never experienced before, and the level of research and passion that gets poured in puts them in their own tier of writing. Now, I remember some time ago, during a period when you were under a particularly notable amount of stress and work, that you expressed doubt that you would be able to finish a full length novel (this one or others). I had told you not to lose your drive, and take heart in the love that we, as readers, constantly had for your work. Through the hard times, you persevered, and crafted a tale that literally shattered the glass ceiling that had been placed over you by someone you'd looked up to. This story smashed records, amassed fans like nothing else, and catapulted you into the level of recognition that you deserve. I speak no hyperbole when I say that every shred of positivity that you have gleaned and been given from writing Deviant Behavior is wholeheartedly deserved. Your storycrafting has literally changed lives, including mine, and I cannot ever repay you for the positive influence that you have been for me. As such, I have complete faith that you can and will be able to finish the stories you have planned. Never doubt yourself, Tay, because you are capable of anything.
So, a million times thank you, for everything. I'm ever so proud of you, and I cannot wait to work on the next ones!
KyloThicc (Previously known as ElegantN7)
This song is ending. But the story never ends. It's been a lot of fun everyone.
Celestielle
In the immortal words of Cotyar Ghazi... I always thought I'd have something clever to say in this moment. You know, something pithy. Even a little ironic, but ...memorable. But I can't think of a fucking thing. Oh, well.
This is my final transmission...see you space cowboy.
Cerulaine
Hello yes, I wanna write you a thank you note. Thank you for writing DB, it changed my life for the better. I was in a really dark place after I found out about thou who must not be named and you, Matt, Rachel, Elle, everyone from Discord helped me through a really tragic point of time in my life.
It was the absolute first time my morals got truly tested, where I started to genuinely question who I am and not really knowing who I wanna be and being absolutely terrified of who I might become.
Through your writing I found my answer.
I wanna be a good person, I don't wanna be a monster, I don't wanna let shit beat me down and then not get back up again.
I wanna be brave.
You taught me how, you all did.
Just wanted you to know that.
Dear Beanie Babies
Wow. Holy shit. I finally finished a fic! (Go ahead, make your jokes.)
Seriously, though. We have been through so much together from when we first started this. From the beginning days when I first received a message from Matt from FF.net, to when Rachel commented on AO3 on the same story (Of Steel and Stardust)...I ran you two into the ground when I first started Deviant Behavior. Then, we just happened to pick up Smol and Cherubee, and they became integrated into our little pack.
I still can't wrap my head around it. It's honestly so amazing.
Who would've thought we'd make such great friends along the way during all this? How a few comments and reviews left us all in a group chat where we talk to each other multiple times damn near day?
I certainly wouldn't have guessed, but I'm not going to question it further. I'm just really glad it did happen.
Thank you to all of you for making this happen. This is a group achievement, and I wouldn't have been able to do it without your love, support, and bleeding eyeballs.
Cheers to the rest of the work I'll be throwing at you, and vice versa...
And the random conversations, late-night gaming sessions, and all-around bitch fests in between.
MjrGenMatt
I've said this before, and I'll say it again. When I began writing Of Steel and Stardust, I never expected anyone to read it. I posted it on FF.net thinking it would get minimal tracking, and it's a fic that I started writing strictly to make myself happy. And then you came along.
You might not realize the gravity of the situation, but by your extensive notes, dedication and hard work, I've learned so much. My writing has gotten so much better. You've been a main proprietor in my advancement, and that's why it pisses me off so much when you doubt yourself.
You've dedicated hours of your time to help me figure out plots. Stopped what you were doing over the span of more than a year to read my drafts. Whenever I thought I couldn't do it anymore, you reminded me that I could. Whenever I thought I couldn't figure something out, you talked me through it until I did.
The journeys and excitement we've shared since we've met have been invaluable. You will never truly understand what I've gained from this partnership, and friendship, that has developed between us through the most unpredictable means.
Our road has been the longest. Your hype train was always the most vicious. Your dedication, unrivaled. And when you told me you were moving to my area because of your job's rotating location requirement, I knew my time with you would be limited due to college and work. But it didn't feel like some friend I made over the internet was coming to meet me and my friends for the first time. No, you'd talked to most of them, already, because that's how involved you already were in my life.
It was more like, "It's about fucking time."
We may have our own language, jokes, and ways of talking to each other that require some extraterrestrial translator, but let me make one thing very clear:
There is no [Shepard] Precursor without [Vakarian] MjrGenMatt.
KyloThicc (Previously known as ElegantN7)
Rachel, it has truly been a privilege to have you accompany me during all my writing (and gaming) adventures. I remember when we would spam vulgarities at each other, and everyone thought we were arguing, but in fact – a real friendship was blooming.
I have watched you overcome personal struggles and discover who you really are. I have watched you take leaps when you weren't confident in your own writing, posting it for the public eye when you were nervous about how it might be viewed. You have undoubtedly spread your wings, unashamed to remove those who don't deserve to be under them.
And despite everything that's happened, you still made time for me.
You gave me the harshest criticism in the most blunt manner, and although others might not see the value in that, I certainly did. I can always depend on you to deliver the truth, which is a trait I find both admirable and inspiring.
There was a defining moment in our friendship for me. It was when I was up, late at night, with no one to talk to while I was going through some relationship problems with that fuck-head I wasted time with. We got on Xbox Live and played some Overwatch. You totally took my mind off things, right after you taught me how to appear offline on Messenger because I'm the most trash millennial in the world.
You might not remember that night, but I do.
"A Pilot never forgets."
And, you still have the dankest gifs.
Celestielle
Phew, man. Smol. Those comments you used to leave on Deviant Behavior were deeper than some of the chapters you posted them on. Through all that passion, I saw something I was lacking. Obviously, talking to you and getting to know you wasn't just because I was hunting for another beta...I wasn't, really, but you had this way of digging into the human soul and bringing out pieces that people just don't account for. Pieces I never accounted for.
You've taught me how to come to terms with my feelings in ways that I can understand – through critical thinking and logic. This might be surprising for you to hear, but it's the honest to God truth. Without your insight, there would have been parts of this story that just didn't connect with the human spirit like it needed to.
Even though you expressed this through notes, it's translated into my life...and so has your contagious optimism. You never let anything get you down. You always find a way to stay positive.
You are Chris Miller's spirit animal.
Cerulaine
Jesus FUCKING Christ, I don't even know where to start with you.
This little anime-girl avatar would pop up in my inbox with unapologetic enthusiasm that I was just totally blindsided by. You dissected every clue I dropped. Ripped them open and took time to formulate theories. You even interacted with other commenters long before the Discord was a thing.
We've spammed enough URLs in the voice channel with Rhythmbot to crash a server. We've spent hours upon hours upon hours fangirling and plotting, coming up with various ways to make peoples' hearts melts and how to destroy them. We even got more eyerolls from Matt than anyone else, I would say.
While I both love and hate you for enabling this stupid brain of mine to continue writing in this universe instead of just putting it down and getting on with my life (joking) the bond that came out of it will something I treasure indefinitely.
On a more personal note, you really drove it home with how much something so seemingly trivial, like spending over 1,000 hours writing a fanfic, can really touch someone. How everyone needs some escape, no matter how they find it.
You are my ride or die. The pilot light to my "let's fuck shit up" gas...
And it always, always starts with bees.
Personal Message
Being an author who mainly handled crossovers, I was told by someone who I looked up to that I would never be able to write a fic that would break 100,000 views. I was told I didn't have what it took, and that my college and work schedule would derail any kind of effort I'd make.
Together, we all, betas and readers, proved them wrong.
Readers, express your opinions. Don't ever underestimate the power of a simple "like," kudo, bookmark, comment, reblog, vote - whatever you're doing. What you have to say matters to all of us here on the other side of this world. You are a huge part of what we do, for without you, we could never learn where we need to improve. We could never understand what how our work affects you.
Writers, take care of yourselves. Keep the sleepless nights to a minimum. Stay hydrated and well-fed. Don't delete your work. Respond to as many readers as you can, for an open line of communication is SO important. Don't obsess over numbers. They do not define your talent. If writing makes you happy, do it. If a plot excites you, follow it through. When you're feeling defeated, reach out to others involved in this world of ours.
To all of you, I'll leave you with a final parting message. As for anything in life, not just fan fiction; but in general - don't let anyone tell you that you aren't capable of something. You might have to work harder to be as good at something as someone else, but you are still capable of achieving greatness in any aspect – and that's exactly why you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone – ever.
Embrace the harsh criticism. Seek it. Repair yourself and use the lashings as motivation. Let your passion and heart bleed into everything you do.
Learn from your mistakes. Perfect your craft.
You are capable of doing anything.
~~~
"And so, onwards...along a path of wisdom, with a hearty tread, a hearty confidence...however you may be, be your own source of experience. Throw off your discontent about your nature. Forgive yourself your own self. You have it in your power to merge everything you have lived through- false starts, errors, delusions, passions, your loves and your hopes- into your goal, with nothing left over."
― Friedrich Nietzsche
Human, All Too Human: A Book for Free Spirits