Chapter 22
You know, I'm starting to think that maybe I should've thought this plan of mine through, because it's hard trying to talk to someone whose absolute goal in life is to forget your existence. And I'll be the first to admit that I screwed up by kissing William, then keeping it from James, but come on!
James is taking this to the extreme! When he said that he didn't know a Tracey Turner, I thought he meant it like I'm a stranger to him now. But no, he LITERALLY meant he doesn't know me, as in I'm not even in his presence. And first period is the worst...
"Good Morning class! Okay, I want you and your partners to pair up with another group so you're in groups of four!" Mr. Hart announced enthusiastically. Without a glance at me, James scooted his desk towards another group...I reluctantly followed. The girl had long wavy maroon hair with light green eyes that went perfectly with her tanned skin, she was pretty. The guy was African American with dark brown eyes and a short hair cut; a fade, he was cute. Our seating arrangement formed a circle, with me sitting in between the girl and the guy, James opposite of me.
"Okay! Now that you've done that, here's your assignment. I want you all to do a sleep experiment. You're going to choose two people in your groups who are going to have to stay awake for at least 48 to 72 hours. How does this attain to math you ask? Well, we're trying to see how lack of sleep can affect your math skills. Now I'm going to give you all these worksheets that have math problem on them.
"And the people who will be non-sleeping will be assigned to do them. And in class Friday, we will see just how important sleep really is. The other two people will have to keep track of the non-sleepers. You know, make sure they don't fall asleep, how they react to certain thing, and most importantly do the work," Mr. Hart explained.
"Well what about our other classes? Won't this experiment affect those?" I student in the back asked. Mr. Hart shook his head with excitement. "No, I've already talked to all the teachers during our conference. All you have to do is write down the names of the students who will not be able to sleep, and I'll send that list off to all the teachers," the teacher retorted.
As he started passing out the papers I turned towards the girl. Gosh, I don't even remember her name. "Hi, I'm Tracey," I greeted while holding out my hand. She looked at it and chuckled, but took it anyway. "Haha, duh, who DOESN'T know you? I'm Alicia," she replied. She seemed perky. I turned towards the guy. He was actually attractive, but not in a "love at first sight" kind of way.
When he looked at me, a smile appeared on his face, revealing pearly white teeth. "What's up Turner, I'm Leon," he greeted while shaking my hand. His smile was contagious, and I got infected. I smiled back and stole a glance at James, he was looking at Alicia, who was looking at Leon, who was looking at me, who was looking at James. Wow, talk about confusion.
I have to admit, I felt kind of jealous that James was eyeing Alicia instead of me, but who am I to judge, after all, I AM a cheater. Although his body was facing me, his eyes were looking at her. "So, who's gonna be brave enough to stay awake 72 hours straight?" Alicia asked the three of us as she pulled out a pencil and paper to write down the names.
I raised my hand to the height of my head...don't ask why. "I'll do it," I agreed confidently. Alicia smiled and nodded her head as she wrote down my name. "Me too," Leon agreed. Alicia quickly wrote down his name and handed the paper to Mr. Hart, who had just given us the worksheet.
"Alright, so I figured since we have to watch each other, we might as well have a daily sleepover until Friday?" Alicia questioned. We all nodded in agreement, apparently she's the leader of our group, and quite frankly, I'm okay with that. "We can't have it at my house, it'll be too many distractions with my little siblings," Leon replied to us.
"Not at mine either, my parents are strict and my dad would have a cow and two chickens if a boy was in my room," Alicia replied back. I stole a glance at James. How ironic, it all falls down to James and I. I was about to suggest my house, until James spoke. "How about mine? I stay in the guest house, so no parents, nothing to interfere," he suggested.
We all nodded. God, I feel like I haven't heard his voice in years. What I'd give to see him smile again...even a smirk would be fine. I just want to see that perfect smile of his that made me fall in love. "Okay so you two can come-" he spoke again. Ouch, he didn't even include me.
"You mean you three?" Leon corrected, looking at James strangely, wondering why he didn't add me. "You THREE can come over my house after school today so we can get started as soon as possible. Bring clothes or whatever," James announced.
"Okay, so it's settled! We're staying over James' house!" Alicia stated clapping her hands a little too excitedly. I stole a glance at James again; he was watching Alicia with an amused face. "I can give you a ride after school if you want? So we can get a heads start," James suggested to her as he put one hand on the back of her chair, obviously feeding off of her excitement.
What the hell? He's flirting with her?! Right infront of me! What the hell is-wait, calm down Tracey. You're forgetting he's pretending you don't exist, just don't let it get to you. I looked at Alicia. She was full on blushing now as he continued smiling at her, looking into her eyes.
She averted her eyes from his and looked at me. Everyone already knows James and I aren't dating anymore. What does she want... my permission? Alicia, girl, you are 18 years old, you can do whatever the hell you want.
Hey, an idea just came into mind. Maybe if I play along with James' whole flirting with Alicia, he'll notice me. So I nodded my head with encouragement, which got her even more excited. "Sure!" she almost screamed. James laughed and leaned back into his chair, still looking at her, but he it wasn't a flirtatious smile.
Oh my God....it was a real smile! He's really smiling at her like that! Does he actually like her?! Hold on Tracey, don't worry about it and just stick to the plan.
"What do you think Turner?" Leon asked me, breaking my train of thought. I eyed him curiously. "What happened?" I asked feeling a little dumb for not paying attention. "About us using Coffee and Red Bull, will that be considered cheating?" Leon asked playfully, already knowing the answer. "Yes! It will be considered cheating! No coffee! No energy drinks!" Mr. Hart answered for me, he must've heard.
I smiled a closed smile at Leon and shrugged my shoulders. "There you go," I said, referring to Mr. Hart's answer. All of a sudden my phone started vibrating. Who would be calling me during school? I ignored it and went started talking to Alicia as Leon started talking to James, but it wouldn't stop vibrating.
I let out an irritated groan and pulled it out of my pockets and looked at the screen. Andrew. I bent down and placed the phone against my desk and rested my head above it so Mr. Hart wouldn't see it. "What Drew?" I whispered. "Hey, Trace, so have you talked to James yet? What did he say?" he asked me, his voice a little loud. I shushed him and looked towards James. "You know I'm in class right now, right?" I accused.
"Then why'd you answer your phone?"
"Because it wouldn't stop vibrating so I figured it was something important," I confessed. Leon looked at me, wondering what I was talking about since no one asked me anything. I ignored him. "Well, this IS important. So what did he say?" he asked.
"What do you think?" I snapped back, not meaning to be so harsh. My voice was so firm that it caught the attention of Alicia, who was flirting with James, but it didn't catch his attention. I sighed. "I'm sorry Drew, I just don't feel like talking about it right now," I apologized.
I heard Leon whisper "Drew?" as if wondering who in the world I'm talking to. They don't know I'm talking on the phone, they think I just laid my head down.
Andrew chuckled. "It's okay Trace. You'll talk about it when you're ready. So what are you going to do?" he asked. I looked at James. Alicia had gone back flirting with James, and he seemed to like it. James is making it very clear that he's done with me, and I can't force him to forgive or take me back. I've been trying my best to talk to him these past days, but he completely blocks me out.
I can't say I'm upset because I deserve whatever he throws at me. There's nothing I can say or do to make him forgive me, and it'll be completely out of line to try to turn back the time and do things differently. Because every cause has and an effect, I just made the wrong choice and I wish...I hadn't.
And on top of all that, I'm his partner in class and now I have to spend these next few days over his house. What kind of torture is this? Then I mentally slapped myself. Why am I being so selfish?
I've been so worried about my own feelings that I didn't even take into account how he feels. I watch James now as he continues to laugh around with Alicia and Leon, as if not affected by our break up at all. Maybe it's better if I just left him alone, like he wishes. He seems fine without me interfering and bringing down his mood with my presence. Maybe it's time for me to grow up and put HIS feelings over mine.
My eyes began to burn. I fought back the tears that threatened to escape and swallowed a huge lump in my throat as I continued to look at James flirting back with Alicia. There's only one thing left for me to do...
"I'll just have to let him go," ," I whispered weakly in defeat as my heart quickly began to collapse...