There is a hole where my core should be
It weighs as much as forty elephants
It grows and manifests over all of me.
I feel it creeping and and gripping me
Closing off my airways; ridding me of oxygen.
My veins freeze and a fiery haze takes over
Roaming the crowded streets I never connect
- With other humans
When I look within someone else I realize what I've become
A ghostly essence full of despair and torment
Before I was a quiet, smiling, peaceful woman
My soul left to the grey fog that lies before me
I do not have a single urge to shed a tear
Nor the desire to have a hellish fit of anger.
I sit crossleg stuck in limbo between here and there
"Where exactly? " you ask hesitantly
"Between the life of who I was " -
"And the death of who I should've become".
Never did the thought cross of leaving here
This emptiness and blackening forgery of me
I am nonchalant about being this ghostly nothing
I have the chance to mimic what everyone wants
Yes, become a vision of what loved ones hoped for me
As I meander like a Neanderthal; lonely and ghostly.