I'd fallen asleep on my desk at work while Marcie went to get dinner. It was the fourth night I've stayed late, but this is what I do when I'm mad at my family. Except this time I'm mad at Tessa. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do in a situation like this. I mean maybe it's a good thing this happened because I hate lying to Hayes more than anything. Now I have my out.
Marcie had put up with my shit the last few days, but I guess falling asleep at the desk was her final straw. "Gray what the hell is going on with you? I know that it's probably not my place to say anything, but the past week and a half you've been all over the place. I've been covering for your ass so I think I deserve to know what's going on."
My mouth drops open slightly, and I rub my eyes to get the sleep out of them. She puts her hands on her hips, waiting expectantly for me to give her some kind of excuse for what's been going on, but I don't have a joke to make. Nothing at all.
"I don't want to talk about it," I decide on, and she keeps the food just out of reach.
"You don't get to use that excuse this time. I've known you for too long to let you pull that shit."
I rub my temples as I try to think of a way out. "Marcie it's really bad."
She sits down across from me, "It can't be that bad."
"I had a one night stand with Hayes's ex-girlfriend before I knew who she was. Then I continued to see her after I knew who she was. I didn't tell him or Sephine, and we kept it a secret. It doesn't matter though because I don't know if we're together at the moment, or if I even want to be because I hate all the lying." I explain bluntly, and Marcie doesn't even flinch when she hears it.
"I was prepared for something much worse than that, like killing your mother because she hasn't called here in a few weeks," She teases. I relax a little as she passes the food over to me. "You're a grown man even though you act like my five-year-old son so I don't think you need me to lecture you."
I shake my head slightly, "No. I think I'm feeling shitty enough on my own that I definitely don't need a lecture."
"So why aren't you sure if you want to be with her after going through all that trouble?" Marcie asks, holding her chopsticks as she pulls her food out of the bag.
"Because-because I'm not sure if I can be with Tessa. I want her to be able to be open and honest with me. I don't think I'm going to get that. But at the same time, she's one of the most incredible people I've met because she's so strong and I can be myself around her. Still, I feel like I don't know her."
I want to be with her, and I've gone through so much trouble that it would seem like a waste if I just gave up now. But I don't know about anything anymore. "You're scared of having a meaningful relationship because you don't know if you can go what you went through again after Caroline."
"What does Caroline have to do with this?" I ask before stuffing my mouth with chinese.
I'm given a flat look, "She has everything to do with it. Gray, you were together with her for years, and then you weren't in a relationship for years. And believe me, I know how important your friendship with Hayes is. He's practically the brother you wish you had, which speaks lengths to me after hearing you say you pursued her after knowing you shouldn't."
Hayes is family, but I doubt we will be after he finds out.
"Tessa isn't Line."
"It's really quite simple if you take all the other factors out of it: does Tessa make you happy? Don't think, just answer."
It's not that I don't want to answer the question, it's that I'm afraid of what will happen if I do. Even though something makes you happy, that doesn't mean it's okay. "Yeah, she does."
"So what do you need to do fix it and make it better?"
I push the chinese to the side to resume the work I'd started earlier, "Wait until I'm ready to fix it and make it better."
Marcie huffs irritation clear on her face, "Do you have to be so stubborn? You just said-"
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Just because something makes you happy it doesn't mean that it's good for you."
I think it's safe to say that she doesn't understand, but why would she? Marcie has a family of her own and not everything is butterfly and rainbows all the time.
I get another thirty minutes of work in before my phone rings, "Hello?"
Hayes's voice comes through the other side, "Are you busy right now?"
I look at the papers in front of me and Marcie working at her desk outside my office, "What's up?"
"Seph and I are getting married." He says giddily, and I think I'm confused because I thought they were already engaged? He must get that I'm confused because he goes further into explanation. "I mean tonight; her god mother is a judge, and she's calling her right now. But we need a witness, and I was hoping that if you're not too busy you could come?"
Definitely didn't expect to hear that when I answered the phone, "How fast do you need me there?"
He pauses for a second, and I can hear the mumble of him and Sephine talking, "Forty-five minutes at City Hall."
"I'll be there," I say smiling, and Marcie turns back to look at me with confusion. Because he called my cell, probably assuming that I'd be home already and not in my office still, she couldn't listen on her line.
My jacket is folded over one of the chairs in my office so I gather the papers to put into my briefcase, "Who was that?" Marcie asks, moving to stand in the doorway.
"Hayes. He and Sephine are getting married tonight, and they need a witness so I'm on my way to City Hall."
She nods, looking back at her computer screen. "I'm going to finish up this last bit of scheduling and then I'll head out. Just consider what I said about fixing things with Tessa."
I don't say anything, I just smile as I slip into my jacket, "Good night Marcie. Tell John I said hi."
"I will."
You wouldn't think the traffic would be busy at ten fifteen, but there's always somewhere people have to be.
I cut it close by mere seconds as I see Judge Foreman standing with Sephine and Hayes at the top of the City Hall steps. She's been the judge in a few of my pro-bono cases so I'm familiar enough with her, but her attire surprises me. Usually you only see them in the robe; it's different seeing her in normal clothes.
"Do you have a witness coming?" She asks Sephine and I push my feet to move quicker up the entrance steps without breaking a sweat.
"Sorry your honor, I'm here."
Hayes hands Judge Foreman the piece of paper in his hand that I'm assuming is their marriage certificate, and she then leads us to the judge's chambers.
"So we have the witness, the certificate, and I don't think I need to see id's because I highly doubt you two are trying to do anything other than get married for love. So if it's alright, I'll begin?" She asks, looking to them for confirmation, and they both nod at the same time out of pure coincidence.
I shift to my spot in the background because my job here is to watch my best friend marry the woman he loves.
"We are gathered here today in the presence of this witness, to join Hayes Nathaniel Benson and Sephine Claire Montgomery in matrimony commended to be honorable among all. This is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. These two hearts are here now to be joined into one beating heart that thrives off this couples' love for each other." She pauses, motioning for Hayes and Sephine to turn to face each other. He takes her hand in his, and the smile they give each other is the kind of smile I want to have on my face.
"Marriage won't be easy, but I want to offer some simple reminders that can lead to a life of happiness between the two of you. Always be kind, even when you disagree with each other, which will happen at some point. Have forgiveness available in your heart. Always leave room for love, understanding, and compassion to grow. Do you have vows prepared for each other?"
"Yes," Hayes speaks for the both of them, letting out a shaky breath. "I, Hayes Benson, take you, Sephine Montgomery, to be my wife; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and to love and to cherish until death do us part."
"I, Sephine Montgomery, take you, Hayes Benson, to be my husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and to love and to cherish until death do us part."
"Do you have rings to exchange?" Judge Foreman asks, and Sephine laughs, shaking her head.
"No, we didn't plan that far ahead."
"Well by the power vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
And Hayes doesn't hesitate in following her instructions and doing just that.
Their soft murmurings are quiet enough that I can't hear. I can't help but look to my side, and wish that Tessa was standing next to me.