Tina twisted in her seat belt, somehow tangling her arm in her sweater sleeves and wrapping the belt around her torso. She let out her classic groan as she carefully unwound herself, catching her reflection in the rear view mirror.
"Tina," she whispered, eyes roving over the multitude of bodies around the campus before her. "Get a grip girl. Wow them with your class, your sass, and your ass."
Fortuitously she stepped out of her car as a handsome stud of a man walked by with a group of three other men, not as good looking but still on the Tina-scale.
His eyes met hers and for an uncomfortable amount of time Tina said nothing, staring.
"Hey, did you need any help?" He broke the quiet, rubbing his arm nervously, looking to his buddies who were smirking.
"Well hello good looking." She spoke under her breath, loudly enough for him to hear.
His eyes widened in surprise, "Wh-what?!"
"Oh hi!" Her words tumbled from her mouth in a torrent. "I'm Tina, I'm new here. Just arrived from New Jersey. Wonder Wharf. Do you know where that is? Right, New Jersey I just told you. My dad owns a burger shop there. His food is really good. I came here for the creative writing class. Did I mention I'm new here?"
A stunned silence met her and immediately Tina knew she'd fucked up. The guys standing around clamped their friend on the shoulder, muttering about needing to go. She clenched her fists by her sides, watching as the guy slowly moved away looking over his shoulder to his friends with desperation and discomfort.
"Yeah, well... you know. Welcome to Rhode Island... and-" he turned and strode quickly across the campus.
"It's okay." Tina calmed herself, moving to the trunk of her car the get her bag and registration papers. "It's okay. I'm just nervous. It'll go better next time."
~*~*~
The door to her apartment swung open with a heavy groan. She mimicked it, throwing herself on the couch she had lifted off the sidewalk.
"This smells like pee." She moaned into the cushions.
The day had not gone better. It couldn't have gone any worse if she'd stepped into traffic and been turned to Tina-jam by a semi. She groaned again into the piss scented fabric, her shoulders heaving as all the negativity spilled out of her lungs in a heavy gush of wind. She sat, looking around. The apartment had been cute when she'd checked it out with her mom and Louise; Linda had gushed over the cute stairs leading to the second floor, her sister had made comments about the thick walls.
"Can't hear anyone scream with these puppies." She laughed, rapping a knuckle on the pale yellow paint.
But now the apartment felt too big, too empty. The living room was eerily quiet without Gene's bodily functions and Louise's manical laughter. She missed the smell of the restaurant and the damn salty-sweet-burnt air of the Wharf. Tears burned in her eyes as she moved to the kitchen. It was brightly lit, windows on three of the walls and a large door leading to the small backyard. Even that felt wrong somehow. Everything felt wrong. Everything was awful.
Tina pulled her cell phone from her jeans, flipping the screen on, her finger hovering over the call icon. She shook her head, putting her phone on the counter.
"No, Tina. You got this." She looked at her reflection in the window over the sink. "Sass, class, ass."
~*~*~
Her chest hurt, she was pretty sure she was dying. Breathing was a burning agony, her whole everything was covered in sweat. Tina pushed a hand through her chin length hair as she dragged her feet through the door of her house, pulled herself up the stairs and poured herself into the shower - clothes still on as she temped the water.
"I hate this!" She bellowed to the empty house. "I HATE THIS!" she yelled again, moaning heavily as her glasses fogged.
She pulled her wet clothes from her body and showered, changing into her pajamas and moving back downstairs to the living room, flipping the tv on. The first ad was for her new workout regimen. After a frustrating and difficult semester at the Rhode Island college she had sought an outlet for her anger that didn't involve ice cream and chips. The overly chipper Asian man smiled widely as he did a lunge-squat progression. Sweat dusted his body in an attractive way. Tina felt her whole body hurting all over again.
"Noooo." she groaned, falling further into the couch, regretting it as a muscle in her back reminded her of exactly how sore she was.
~*~*~
"Oh hi Shelley, Gerry!" Tina moved towards the girls.
Both smiled as Tina made her way over.
"Hey Tina!" Gerry grinned, slinging an arm over her shoulders, "Did you wanna go out with us tonight?"
"Oh... I uh-" She stopped herself before she could make that indecisive noise she made. "I've got this novel I'm working on right now actually, and-"
"Oh my gosh really?" Shelley took a step forward, her eyes glittering. "My mom's a publishing agent. Well, not her, but she used to be and so she has connections." She waved a manicured hand flippantly. "I can she if she knows anyone? If you don't mind letting me read it?"
Tina felt embarrassment and pride flush through her, "Oh... well... it's an erotic- er, I mean. One of those Harlequin novels..."
"Is it all old timey and outrageous?" Gina asked, clapping as Tina nodded, "Can I read it too?!"
~*~*~
"And thus!" Tina yelled, standing partially on the booth seat and partially on her table. Shot glasses clinked and fell on the table, scattering the drops left within as she downed another vodka. "They lived happily ever after!"
The woman at the table clapped and giggled, shouting congratulations and pretending to swoon.
Tina sank back to her chair as the bartender shouted across the way at her. "Sorry!" She yelled back.
"What?!" He cupped an ear.
Exasperated Tina excused herself, moving to the bar, "Look I said sorry. We're just celebrating."
"I can tell." He replied sarcastically, "What're you celebrating?" He amended at her crestfallen face.
"I've had my first novel published." She smiled.
"Well I'll be damned!" He grinned back at her.
Tina felt her heart speed and stumble. He was handsome. Not like, a character in her book handsome, but in a more bad boy rugged way. And she had always had a thing for bad boys.
"Let me get you a drink, on the house."
"You can get me anything you want." Tina replied, winking.
He paused opening the beer bottle, "You-ah... you doing anything later?"
~*~*~
"I know Mom!" Tina sobbed into the phone.
"Oh honey, I wish I was there- Oh, hold on a minute honey." Tina listen patiently as her mom yelled over her shoulder at Bob. "You know Tina, forget him. Screw him - that's not nice but you know what - neither is he. Oh my little baby, deflowered and ditched! I should be there. BOB GET OVER IT! It's our baby! She's hurting!"
Tina sighed heavily, her tears dried. "It's okay Mom." She sat up off the mess of her bed, reminders of her last night with Nick. "I'm getting the idea for a new novel. I'm going to go write, I'll call you tomorrow okay?"
"Okay baby." Linda replied, obviously not okay with hanging up. "Oh my girl is so strong. You come from a line of strong women Tina. You're doing us proud. Oh we're so proud of you. Our little novelist. Make him have a small ding dong!" Linda cackled, "Maybe not that's mean. Love you!"
"Love you too." Tina responded, ending the call and moving from her bed to her workstation.
The leaves outside were deep green, the trees whispering in the summer breeze. Cicadas screeched in the background.
'It was a cold Fall night when our heroine, Tiffany...'