溢れ出す言葉思いきって言った
I built up my courage and said the words I could hold in no longer.
誰かに誇れる僕でいられるかな？
Will I be able to stay as someone you are proud to call your own.
Chapter 6
"Are you going?" Lee called out.
"Yes..." Sam said. "Just for a bit. School." She said hurriedly, looking for only a second at her cousin as he nodded at her.
But as the door closed, Lee's smile faded and it was replaced by a deep frown.
He is very worried about Sam. Very worried indeed.
She hadn't been herself.
For the last month, he knew that was because she was mourning and it was her means of coping.
And then he came.
He was glad when Top started visiting her and slowly the Sam he knew was coming back.
But it seems she had depeneded too much on Top.
"Sam, was that Top?" Audrey asked. Sam was just on the phone.
"Audrey! I'm sorry I didn't notice you came in." Sam said, smiling brightly. "Yes, it was Top." She said in answer to Maggie's question.
Audrey grew silent.
"Sam... Are you in love with Top?" She asked without preamble.
Sam looked at her, surprised.
"Pardon?" Sam said, blinking.
Audrey sighed in exasperation. "I'm saying I think you're in love with Top."
"It's not like that." Sam said.
Audrey sighed again.
"Okay, look. I'm just saying this one time so listen. I... I'm just worried about you. About both of you. I think it's great if, you know, you're really in love with him. I think my brother wouldn't want you to be miserable your whole life either. So even if it is a little early, if it's real, that's a good thing. But what if it's not? What if you're just confused and you just wanna depend on him? I know you, Sam. You wouldn't do that, but right now..." She trailed off. "I just wanna say that I don't want you to get hurt in the future."
"I told you, it's not like that." Sam said firmly.
"You're not in love with him." Audrey said, as if confirming.
Sam sighed. "I'm not."
"Well, what about him? And okay, maybe that's the case now but what if---" Audrey started but Sam cut her off.
"I won't let it be that way. I can't do that to him." Sam said.
Audrey went silent.
And then after a while, she said in a soft voice. "It's not your fault, you know. It was a car accident."
Sam smiled at her. "I know it's not, Audrey."
Lee was by the door when they had talked and he had heard everything. He wasn't very much alarmed then. He was happy as long as Sam was healing. He was selfish to think that, he knew, but he just wanted to see his cousin happy again.
But then Top stopped coming. And now, Sam was worser than before.
She's been keeping herself very busy.
Been avoiding him.
She's slowly closing up, building a wall, not letting anyone in.
His frown deepen. He really didn't know how to help Sam.
He hated seeing her like that. And today of all days.
---
It had been exactly one month since Ali had dragged Top out the house.
Exactly one month since she last saw him.
And around two weeks since he last called.
Sam shook her head. She's not supposed to think about him.
Sighing, Sam walked towards the school's main dining room. Maggie had called her and asked her to go there. She didn't really know why, though.
She opened the door, a bit distracted.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"
Sam blinked.
Shock registered as she saw so many faces before her.
Everyone was inside the dining room, students, teachers and staffs alike. There were even her old high school friends.
The headmistress moved forward, smiling at Sam.
"Happy Birthday." She said, snapping Sam out of her shock.
"Thank you so much!" She said, smiling brightly at everyone. She only realized what was going on when she saw the banner, no doubt the students did, hanging before the table with the words, 'Happy Birthday!"
Frankly, she had forgotten it was her birthday but she knew the date of today. She was very much aware.
She placed a hand inside her pocket and gripped the burned cross.
'I've forgotten it was my birthday when Dad died.' she thought.
Someone tapped her on her shoulders. She looked back to see Lee.
"Lee..." she said, smiling up at him. She was not surprise that Lee was in on this. It might be that this was Lee's idea.
He smiled at her.
"Well, the birthday girl is here so let the celebration start!" He announced to everyone.
Everyone cheered.
---
Sam let them celebrate.
But it was the most she could do. Honestly, she was very touched but she can't force herself to celebrate.
She hasn't done so since six years ago. Since what happened to her dad...
And just more than a month ago, Jared...
She couldn't be happy even if she want to.
But just then, an unbidden image of a smiling Top flashed through her mind.
Sam shook her head.
"Well, not right now but what if---" Audrey started but Sam cut her off.
"I won't let it be that way. I can't do that to him." Sam said firmly.
Audrey went silent.
And then after a while, she said in a soft voice. "it's not your fault, you know. It was a car accident."
Sam smiled at her. "I know it's not, Audrey."
No. She can't.
"It's not my fault. But still, everyone I ever love leaves me."
She just can't.
"Sam!" Sam looked up. It was Maggie.
"What is it?" She asked.
"This just came in. One of the students said a young man had asked her to give it to you." Maggie said.
Sam took the package, a bit surprised.
It was big and flat. Written on it were the words, 'Happy Birthday Seira-san.'
Her heart beat suddenly raced.
She opened the package.
"Wow..." She heard Maggie exclaimed at the gift.
It was a painting.
A very beautiful painting of her on the hospital rooftop with the full moon behind her.
'Top.'
She passed the package back to Maggie and ran out.
"A young man asked her to deliver it to you."
'He must still be here.'
As Sam got out, she saw a young man disappear in a corner.
Clutching at her chest, she ran after him.
"Top!" She called but it seems he didn't hear her.
She quicken her pace.
He was just walking, fortunately but he was a bit far in front.
"Top!" She tried again but he didn't look back.
He stopped by the road and Sam hurried to him.
Finally, she had reached him. She placed her hand on his shoulder.
"To--"
He looked back at her, a bit surprised. His eyes widen as he recognized her.
"Ms. Sam!" he said, bowing politely.
"You... You're not Top..."
TBC