ELEANORA'S POV
"It's really different," I say.
"And you don't like it?" Jem asks.
I shrug. "I didn't mean to imply that I didn't. I do, but it is so... strange. It was only my mother and I for three years. I was taught to not go near Shadowhunters and seeing where I am now is so different."
"You will get used to it," Jem smiles. "We all did."
We enter the dining hall and I see Jessamine and Tessa already seated.
I take my place beside Tessa, giving her a small smile. Jem seats himself across from Tessa.
"Where is Will?" He asks.
Tessa shrugs, as if to say she doesn't know, whereas Jessamine scoffs.
"Probably out drinking the night off," She says, rolling her eyes.
"Actually," Will says, entering the room, "I'm right here."
I look down at my hands, remembering how I abandoned him last night. A chill runs through me, and I feel a pulsing confusion.
Caspian.
I look towards the door as Will sits down across of me as Caspian walks in with Henry.
I give him a small smile, remembering our last conversation.
"Caspian," Jem says, smiling. "You're awake."
"About time," Will mutters.
Tessa smiles politely at him.
~
I leave the Institute, hidden and alone. I head down the street, walking. Walking until I reach the Lightwood's house.
I knock. Their doorman opens, and recognises me.
"Here for Gabriel Lightwood?" He asks.
I nod silently.
I am let in and I bring myself to Gabriel's room. I knock lightly before entering. Gabriel is seated on his bed, head bent over a book. His hair is curled and his long legs outstretched.
He looks up when I enter and smiles.
"I wasn't expecting you," He says.
"I had the need to get away," I say, collapsing next to him on the bed. "What are you reading?"
"Nothing," Gabriel says, shutting the book and putting it facedown on his bedside table.
I lay my head on his shoulder. "Can I stay over?"
Gabriel looks at me. "Of course. You look tired."
I nod, and Gabriel laughs. "Go ahead and sleep. I'll join you later."
Gabriel has a king-sized bed. It's not at all unusual for us to be sleeping together. The first time it was an accident. The second time it was awkward. It is unheard of for a lady to sleep on a men's bed when the man is neither engaged to her or her Husband.
But we Shadowhunters are different.
We're used to it now, this sleeping arrangement. I lay on the bed, closing my eyes, exhaustion wearing me down.
"Jem? Jem, help," I whisper.
But that wasn't Jem. That was a man. A man with greying hair. He is standing right in front of me now. He looked so familiar.
I moan. "Help. Please, help me. My- my Mother. She's inside."
"Shut your eyes, child. Shut your eyes."
I wake up again, and this time, the room is dark but for a shadow at the corner.
I look down at myself. I'm completely healed.
"What..."
"I've been waiting for you for a long time. I need you to do something for me."
"Mum... where is my Mother?"
"She's gone. Dead. Her body is outside, if you need proof."
"You Monster," I hiss. "You killed her."
"I hired the Dark Sisters to kill her. I didn't. Anyway, I need you to do something for me."
"Or else?" I demand, anger seething in me.
"Or else I will kill you. You're trapped here, you know."
"What can I do for you if I'm always here?" I laugh mirthlessly. "Isn't very thought out, now is it?"
"You'll wait here. I'll even starve you here. Wait until I get something to... force you to do as I say."
Anger is boiling in my veins. So hot I feel like I could burst.
"I'd kill myself before I do anything for you."
"Oh I don't doubt it."
~
I wake up, sweat beading on my forehead, hair plastered to the back of my neck, breathing heavily.
"Ella?" It's Gabriel.
He's sitting up, as I am.
"I'm fine."
"Did you have a nightmare?"
I shake my head, lying, as I bring my knees up to my chest.
Gabriel lays a warm hand on my cheek. "I won't let anyone hurt you."
"I know."
Then Gabriel does something unexpected. He brings his lips to mine, gently. I'm too shocked to react.
Gabriel? I hear his shocked voice.
I pull away, blinking in shock. I'm so glad it's too dark for me to see his face.
"I'm sorry," Gabriel says quickly.
"No. No it's fine. It's just... you're my Best Friend. Apart from Jem," I say, rushing the words out. "I never thought of us as anything more than that. I'm sorry, Gabriel. But..."
"No. I understand. It's alright," Gabriel says, his voice stiff. "Rest, Ella. You need it."
I lie back down and close my eyes, but I don't fall asleep. I now feel Caspian's dreams. Peace. It's rare when he has peaceful sleep.
~
I walk back to the Institute around breakfast time. Placing my palm at the door, it opens. I walk to my room and go for a quick bath before changing into gear.
I finally head down to breakfast. The table is already filled with the occupants of the London Institute.
Caspian's relief floods through me when he turns to see me.
Charlotte turns to me. "Ella. Where were you?"
I force on a grin. "Simply the Lightwood's place, Charlotte. No need to worry. What's the date?"
"You slept at the Lightwood's place?" Jessamine asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Yes," I say dismissively. "Now, what's the date?"
"The council meeting is tomorrow," Jem answers.
So that means it's 19th June. I feel like a sword has inserted itself in me.
I nod slowly. "Time flies."
I take a seat next to Caspian. No doubt he can feel my pain. He just doesn't understand why it's there. We both cover our rings, hiding the flashing colours.
"Is something wrong?" Tessa asks.
I mentally build my walls. Push away my emotions.
And I laugh. "Why would you think that, Tess? No. Everything's perfectly fine."
"I don't think so. Not if you slept with that Lightwood scum," Will says, eyeing me.
I roll my eyes. "I didn't exactly sleep with him. We didn't do anything. It was just the same bed."
"Bad enough," Will mutters, not looking at me but eating his food.
I scowl, standing. "I have no appetite. I need to head out for a while."
"I shall go with you. I too, don't have an appetite today," Caspian says, standing, eyeing me. Our hands still hide our rings at our necks.
"Okay," I say, slightly relieved.
We both walk out of the dining hall, and I can feel all their eyes on our backs.
We reach the corridor and I head up to my room, Caspian following.
"Wear white," is all I say.