Kristin
The house that was once the very core of my peace and comfort now seemed like the very keeper of my darkest memories. There was a smile on my face and a fake laugh from time to time, because that was the mask these people expected to see, but it was no distraction to what that lake house once meant. And what it had become.
Once, I could say without hesitation that there was not one dull moment in the place.. But now there was no forgetting that devastating goodbye that we had once had to suffer through. And it seemed a part of me refused to even forgive it.
Across from me, on the armchair near the window sat the only person that could understand my thoughts. Nathan. The very reminder of that time when everything had been a perfect ideal. And the reminder why it no longer wasn't. I couldn't accept the mere thought that it wasn't.
Everyone around seemed to be having a good time, though.. Because none of them knew. None of them knew of the meaning behind those long gazes Nathan and I shared. Hell, they didn't even notice them. And while throughout every conversation and card game we played, my father tried pairing me with de Marco, Nathan focused his efforts on the wine.
Oh, he knew. He knew exactly what my father wanted. And he didn't give a damn about it, it seemed. No, not at the moment. What he seemed concentrated on was the meaningful looks he sent me.. And the constant interference of whatever was discussed.
Not just any interference, but the kind that was directed to me.. The kind that wasn't exactly pleasant, but rather accusing. It seemed that he was very much blaming me for the efforts papa was putting into pairing me with de Marco. Which was far from acceptable.
"Very well done, Dom. I didn't realize you were such an expert on poker." My father tapped de Marco's shoulder. It was Dominic's third victory. And my father's third defeat.
Now he rose to his feet, pressing a hand over my lower back to lead me towards the seating area. Nathan, who didn't play, of course already noticed every little move of de Marco's. And wasn't exactly satisfied with it.
"I try to avoid it." Dominic explained. "Gambling isn't what I strike for these days.. Not when I have such business on my hands."
"Impressive. At least you've learned from your mistakes." Nathan's words had me look at him.
Our gazes met that very second, and I wished that my eyes would've been enough of a reminder for him to stop. Stop his little provocations and come to his senses. But he looked away and waited on Dominic's response.
It was my father that had set me to stand by de Marco's side and be his poker partner.. Nathan knew very well that he could've interfered earlier and took some cards himself. But he had chosen to keep by his wine and merely observe. What was it with this prodding and provoking now?
"I— Yes, well, one can only repeat the same mistake a few times." It wasn't a bad attempt to avoid Nathan's little statements, but there was no escaping them. When he had his mind set on something, he wasn't going to stop. And that wine didn't help either.
He stood up, walking towards the fireplace. "Still, you can't resist a few sets now and then. It only leaves a man to wonder just how much would be enough for you."
Those dark greens spoke more than those words did. Leaning his shoulder on the fireplace, he examined Dominic, and as if he understood the point of Nathan's provocations, his touch disappeared from my back.
My father interrupted with a chuckle. "Well, I've certainly had enough. I do admit it, you crushed it tonight, Dom."
I glanced at Julia and my brother. They were all quite familiar with Nathan's protectiveness over me, and perhaps they even expected such incident to occur. But none of them knew the real story behind Nathan's frustration. They didn't know what had happened. They— God, they hadn't a clue what had happened in the car that very day.
De Marco smiled. "Perhaps it's because of my partner." His caress over my back had me look at him. Of course, it was polite to smile back, even though I had nothing to add to the argument the two men were having. "Makes me think that my card career would've been far more successful if I had you by my side."
Nathan's voice filled the silence with a hint of irony. "Of course. Doubtless, Kristin is here for your amusement. She seems fond of you already." I looked at him in full shock of what I was hearing. Emerald eyes glared back at mine with sharp anger.. Irritation. Jealousy. "Aren't you, Krissy?"
The audacity of this man. While we were arriving, he dared say all those things to me in the car.. He dared tell me he would handle it all. And by the time night fell, he put it all out of consideration.
He stayed on the side the entire night, drinking, provoking, and now dared put me in the middle of some foolish argument he started. Out of nothing but jealousy. Oh how it angered me, he couldn't even imagine.
I glanced at Dominic and mumbled an 'Of course' before moving to Julia. "I'll take care of that, Julia,"
Nathan had crossed his limits. There was no need, nor did he have the right on his part, to accuse me of anything.. Let alone something he knew wasn't my fault. That wine didn't seem to be treating him all so well. And I had had it with tolerating such rudeness.
So I left for the kitchen, with the excuse to get Julia more wine instead bothering the maid. I had told the staff to go to bed since we would be staying late. Now that Nathan probably drank all the wine by himself, it gave me an excuse to leave. Get away from him and his thoughtless insults.
My hands trembled from the rage I felt boiling inside me. Crouching down, I opened the lower cabinet with the intention to find an extra bottle of wine, but instead accidentally shoved the beer cans, causing a few to end up rolling on the floor.
There was a second of such irritation exploding inside me that I nearly kicked them away and damned everything about the evening so far. But with those few curses that I found myself mumbling, it seemed that my frustration somewhat calmed.
"You definitely managed to get things your way this time, didn't you?" That familiar deep tone filled the silence. Nathan. Perhaps once I would've been startled from his presence.. But in that moment, I was far too furious with him to care to even glance at him.
So pushing the cans back in the cabinet, I took the wine and rose to my feet. From the corner of my eye, I noticed him at my left, at the very entrance of the kitchen.. Standing there in all his height and vigor, daring to come after me in the kitchen for— For what? More provocations? More insults?
"What are you talking about?" I managed, not bothering to look at him. Instead, I focused on opening the bottle. My hands still trembled.
"Your plan.." With long strides, I noticed him approaching. "It's working." He stopped at the side of the counter, not so very close, but close enough to awake that tension inside me. "You have him mentally undressing you with every damned glance he steals."
There was that dangerous darkness in his voice that dared tremors to wash over me. De Marco was stealing glances.. It seemed that Nathan was damned terrified with the mere thought of him stealing more.
But his words.. Those accusations.. Oh, they left me speechless with rage for a second. I stopped my attempts to open the bottle and looked at him. In all that anger, a picture of him in the car flashed through my mind. His daring words echoed in my head..
And then I remembered that 'Kristin is here for your amusement. She's fond of you already'. What the hell was he doing playing the fool? Didn't he say he was there to fix the situation? And now he was insulting me? Throwing me in fire and backing away?
"My plan? My plan to seduce him?" An ironic gurgle of laughter escaped me. Those eyes grew nearly black with frustration. "You've lost your mind." I turned my attention back on the bottle. "If you've come after me to argue, Nathan, I'm gonna have to disappoint you. I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction to insult me again."
A strangled growl seemed to escape him. And for a second, I thought of him as the one suffering. Perhaps I should've expected such reaction after all my father's efforts to match me with Dominic. It left Nathan as furious as to turn against me. And yet somehow, that still wasn't an excuse. His accusations were vile and revolting.
"You said you wanted control over him. From the very beginning." There was some anguished quietness in his tone. He took a few steps closer and in a second was at my side. "You said you wanted to have him wrapped around your finger.. Unlike Montgomery."
I looked at him. Had he truly thought that? Had he truly believed that the reason why I found myself by de Marco's side that evening was because of my personal selfish choice? To seduce him and have him wrapped around my finger?
Hell, that was never my plan. I may had mentioned something along those lines when I thought I was desperate, but how low did he think of me to assume me jumping in another man's arms after what happened in the car that day?
"God, Nathan, you know very well that this has nothing to do with that.." And then I looked away because the emotion behind those greens was too probing for me to face at that point. "You saw what my father was doing in there, and you know he's doing it on purpose."
I seemed to be speaking through my teeth as I turned away and walked towards the opposite cabinet to reach for a glass. My father.. Perhaps it was him that dared all that rage inside me. In both of us. It was tearing us apart and a we both knew it.
No matter how much I wished to ignore it, however, I had to face that it was happening all over again. Papa wouldn't stop until he had his alliance with de Marco.
And I was the key to that. A part of me wished to break down and let all that fury, all that helplessness, all that anguish out. Through tears, or shouts, or whatever it may be. Let every emotion flood me because I was desperate for relief.
But then I felt him near me.. Nathan.. This man that I would do anything for. Risk anything for. I felt him near from behind me and nearly wished to turn and yell all those things he made me feel, so keenly, so strongly..
Yell at him for ever daring to doubt in me, for daring to think that I'd ever reach for another man— Reach for someone else after everything that had happened. I was left clueless on how to handle everything I had built up inside me.
From behind me, he reached for the glass on the top cabinet, taking it down for me since I couldn't reach it myself. But the mere feel of his closeness left me a bit thoughtless.. His warmth and strength made me feel safe, despite the things he had said.
His breath was near my hair from behind and I nearly quivered at the feel of him. "Your game is getting out of hand." He whispered.
A press of his hand against my waist and I nearly lost my words. "Nothing is getting out of hand." I managed. Nothing except for your behavior back there..
But my voice died at the feel of him against me. Goodness, I nearly leaned against him. To have him so close, feel his breath at the side of my neck and his hand at my waist set my blood on fire.. To have him pull me back against himself so that I could feel his solid chest, his pounding heart.. His stiffness and arousal at the small of my back.
"Yea?" He mumbled a crude curse and pulled me harsher against him this time. "Do you even know how close I was to taking you in that car today? A mere lift of that little skirt of yours and you would've been mine."
My eyes closed at those brazen words. With a trembling breath, I leaned back against him, rubbed against him and heard his strangled groan at my ear. Anyone could've walked in and seen us.
But my mind blocked that thought out.. All I felt was him, and that fury that had set my heart pounding and my blood rushing— it was now all turned into some burning desire that left me breathless.
He pressed light kisses over my ear, bellow and against my neck. "You let me.. Touch you. You almost let me have you. And it nearly drove me damned mad, Kristin." A helpless sigh rose from my chest.. And a light sound that he pulled me closer for. "I've never wanted anything the way I want you. And yet— Hell, my hands are tied.."
His voice nearly broke.. I knew those words— they were the plain, painful truth. But he had said he would fight. That he wouldn't give up. And it was left on me to delay my father's intentions as long as I could. This, however.. I wasn't so certain how much longer I could delay this.
"You don't know what you're saying. You just humiliated me in there." I wriggled away from him and heard his groan of restraint at that keen contact of our bodies against one another as I turned in his arms and faced him. "You're drunk, Nathan."
Looking up at him, I found those forest greens searching my face.. Dark with desire, restless with restraint. He looked like a man controlled by nothing but that primitive, savage want.
He wore his hair short these days and it brought something dangerous to his appearance.. Those sharp cheekbones of his were emphasized; his jaw set tight in resistance. And yet there was weakness in that hungry gaze. There was despair in his tight hold against my hips.
"I'm not." And those words were somewhat true. He was not drunk. He was merely lost in emotion. The way he pressed his brow against mine, in all that closeness still resisting.. It showed exactly that.
"You should go to your room. Go to sleep.." I told him; my tone as hushed as for him to hear only. "Before you do something you shouldn't.." I found myself clutching against his shirt so tightly, my knuckles went white. "Before I do something I shouldn't."
My body pulsed for him. For the feel those hands over my skin, touching, exploring, the way he had in the car.. And more. Oh, I needed more. I needed him so desperately, I was willing to take extremes. That was why he had to leave me. In that moment, he had to walk away.
But there was someone already walking.. "Kristin—"
"Shh,"
I pulled away from him, feeling my heart jump to my throat. The footsteps were clear. Someone was walking towards the kitchen. And the second I moved away from Nathan, taking a few steps towards the other counter, my father walked in.
"Dad," I breathed out.
Any other word would've gotten stuck in my throat. I realized I was holding the wine bottle once again, as if I never left that spot. And Nathan was now behind me— I glanced over my shoulder—leaning against the other counter innocently as if we hadn't just..
"What happened to that wine?" My father laughed, walking towards me.
I smiled at him as well. "We're at your service, Mr. della Broderie." Nathan interrupted, with a satisfied humor in his voice as he stopped beside me and placed the glass that he had reached for me down next to the bottle. "You must look forward to this 87' bottle. Seems like it was saved for a special event."
I held my lip trapped between my teeth. For some reason, I had feared Nathan would purposely give us away. There was a firm mischief hidden behind that grin of his, and the touch of alcohol in his blood.. It didn't promise any kind of truce. Not even a compromise.
"Nathan," Papa chuckled, taking the bottle from my hands. "It is not your thing to get drunk on game nights," And while he was focused on opening the bottle, I felt Nathan's eyes on me.
"Game night indeed." To that mumble of his, I glanced at him. Truly, if there was anyone playing a game, it was him.
"Or at all." My father added, unaware of Nathan's whisper. Once he had the bottle opened, he took the glass and gestured towards me. "Help him up the stairs and to his bed. I'll take this to Julia."
With that, he left the kitchen, aware that Nathan could, and probably purposely would dare an argument, God forbid, something worse from de Marco. He was sending him off to his room.
I glanced at Nathan.. At the keen danger that radiated from him. Of course, papa thought of him as merely protective over me, and naturally, he found it foolish.. Because he didn't know what it was that was going on between the two of us..
He didn't know how truly risky it was to send Nathan and I to a bedroom together and order me to take him to bed.. That night especially. That night when we were nearly caught damned lost in one another on the counter.
And yet, we merely glanced at each other and silently headed towards the stairs. There wasn't tension, nor any more words exchanged. There was no need for words. There was never need for words between us. Those little actions said enough.
As we climbed the stairs, his hand brushed over my lower back and a bit over my hair to have me walk in front of him in the corridor.. He seemed a bit unsteady, but I was certain he didn't drink quite enough to be unable to make it to his own bed.
What was worse was the fact that he didn't say a word to my father's little order. Being sent away so that he would no longer provoke de Marco and not objecting one bit about that decision.. It didn't seem like something Nathan would do.
Opening his door, he slipped right in front of me and now I walked in a step behind him, turning to close the door once I was in his room. My heart thumped in my throat as loud as to leave me deaf for a second.. With my hand leaned on the door, I stood still for a second before turning to face him.
He was in his room now.. He could make it to his bed on his own. Why was I still in there? He didn't— he scanned me and my legs nearly gave up on me.. He didn't need me anymore. I was supposed to leave.
"You heard what he said.." He mumbled, turning around and walking towards his bed. "Game night." There was keen irony in his voice. As his jacket slid down his shoulders, he threw it on the bed.. He was undressing. With me in his room. My mouth had gone dry.
I licked my lips, pushing myself off the door. "We did play cards. Or do you not remember at all?"
"I remember him touching you, and you allowing it," He turned to face me, still standing there beside the posters of his bed, and I walked closer. And closer. "Kissing you, and you allowing it," His words had me roll my eyes. It had been a kiss on the cheek when he won his first game. "What else for tonight?"
I stopped in front of him. "Well, I don't know."
Those eyes of green were dark with fury.. He was angry. At my father, at de Marco, at me. And so was I. I was mad at him too, for saying all those things. But I was also there, wasn't I? I was there with him, not downstairs where I was expected.
"Of course you know," His words were plain growls.. With a grip around my elbow, he pulled me closer to himself. "You will not let him touch you again, you hear me?"
I pressed my hands against his chest.. Felt that wall of solid muscles and his pounding heart underneath. Felt his warmth and vigor and his groan of restraint vibrating through some dark place in there. I felt that his rage there, his lust and helplessness, all radiating from him.
And then I pulled my thoughts together. Perhaps my father was right. Nathan should be in bed before he did something similar to what he had done to Montgomery. So I focused on reality.
Blocking away that gripping desire, that bone-quivering need, I pressed my fingers at the buttons on his shirt. As he stood there, nearly gawking in shock from the boldness of my moves, I slowly undid the buttons, one by one.. Felt his soft skin brush against my knuckles and resisted the urge to trail my fingers over his chest.
"Since papa sent me up here with you.. Perhaps I'm not expected downstairs either." And we both knew that those words of mine were false.
The mention of my father and his damned determination to set me up with de Marco dared some angered grunt to gurgle in Nathan's throat, while my own anger dared me to merely pull on the buttons that were left undone, until his shirt was wide opened.
"Kristin." There was a warning in his voice. So I looked up at him.
There was a bed behind us. There was a whole night in front of us. And— Christ, we were close to each other. So close that I could nearly feel his breath against mine. My hands were trembling but I pressed them against his now bare chest..
Felt the lines and dips of his muscles.. Felt the power this man possessed and how much he was holding back. He could have me, I thought. And yet he pushed on his honor, on my virtue, and kept his place. Kept distance. Oh for far too long now.
But I moved away.. I slipped from his arms and took the shirt from the near armchair.. Glancing around the room, I realized the largeness of the space. Filled with just the two of us and a king sized bed.. All that carved heavy wood and a high mattress with silken sheets.
I was undressing him.. Handing him a shirt and getting him ready for bed as if we were a married couple. As if this was a routine when both us knew very well it wasn't. But because of the comfort we shared for so long, this tension was somewhat bearable.
I gave him the shirt. "Put this on." But a simple stride and he was back in front of me.. Close again.. And my whole body went faint. "Please do get dressed," I told him, but he reached out for me so I hastily added. "and go to bed. This night—"
But in a mere grip, he had a handful of my hair at my nape, bringing me closer to himself.. Close enough for me to feel his warm breath brush against the side of my face.. Lower against my exposed neck..
And that's where he pressed a kiss. One simple, plain— a sighing moan left me.. No, nothing about that kiss was plain or simple. His tongue touched my skin, right there at the crook of my neck, licked, tasted.. Once, twice, and my eyes closed.. I nearly shuddered against him. I nearly fell into his arms and left myself at his mercy.
"This night you will not be his. Or any other night." He said against my skin.. Kissed my jaw and my chin and the corner of my lips.. My hands slid from his chest to his broad shoulders.. To his neck.. And I pulled him to myself.
Because I needed a proper kiss. And I got one. My lips parted against his demanding, hungry ones, as I allowed him to taste me, like he once had.. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him back.. Tasted the wine and the anger and the sin..
Oh God. That was it. That feel of him against me, those powerful arms holding me to himself and those lips examining, devouring mine.. Allowing me to feel his despair and need. His loss of senses and the founding that kiss gave him at the same time.
We were alone. And we were angry. With other and with each other. But that longing for one another, that wish for a taste, for a feel.. It could not be denied. Not anymore.
We were starving for one another, desperate. But unfortunately, it could not go further than those quick, wet kisses he now down lower over my jaw again till those lips pressed against my ear..
He stopped, but his raged breaths gave away his loss of control. His fingers were dug at my behind, so indecently harshly that he pulled me even closer to himself.. His other hand in my hair held me still. And it was good because if he let go in any way, I feared my legs would give up on me.
"Are you going to go and share his bed now?" He whispered as if tasting my senselessness.. What I'd say in that state of my blank mind.
I ran a hand down his chest. "Of course not." As he pulled back a bit, those dark greens scanned my face.. Lower over my swollen lips from his kisses, over my neck and my cleavage..
"Do you have separate rooms?" His voice was hoarse.
I nodded my head. "Yes." And then because that didn't feel enough, I added. "Yes, you know where my room is." He let go of me a bit.. Stepped back a bit. And I nearly reached for him..
"Yes. Good." He said, giving me another scan.. I focused on his chest, on every keen muscle I had felt underneath my fingertips just mere seconds ago. And I wished to feel them underneath my lips. "Good. Lock your door tonight."
I looked up at him, and registering his words, I laughed. "God, Nathan, he wouldn't dare—"
"Not from him, darling. Not from him." He took the shirt I had handled him that somehow ended up thrown on his bed.. Pulled it over his head and looked back at me.
I reached for him.. Ran my hand over his shoulder and kept quiet for a second. My heart was pounding in my chest.. My blood was boiling and every inch of my body tingled with the wish to feel his hands on me..
"I won't be going down there again, Nathan. I'm going to my room as well." My words meant.. Meant something. I looked up at him. He knew what they meant. Those eyes were black with lust. Oh he knew exactly what my words meant.
He cleared his throat.. Nodded his head. "Go now. I can't have you here a second longer without wishing to rip these clothes off of you,"
I took a step back and let go of him. Yes, he'd probably do that. He wasn't the kind of man that bothered with unstrapping or unbuttoning. And he was wild with want. There was something barbaric in his eyes.. Something primal about the gruffness of his voice.
I turned around and went for the door.. Before leaving, I glanced back at him and saw him keenly following my moves.. All he had to do was say the word.. One word, and I'd lock that door instead of walking out of it.
"Go," He said instead. But his eyes still confirmed something.. Some promise. "Go to your room. And lock your door."
In that low tone that seemed to be vibrating through the walls with sharp determination.. I heard a distinct unease. Uncertainty. And that was everything I needed to hear. That secret message that he knew I'd understand.
So I slipped away from his room and headed towards mine.. Got inside, closing the door behind me and leaning back against it. My eyes closed. It was not finished. This night was not going to end like that, and we both knew it.
Oh Nathan. How many more minutes, hours, days would be wasted with resistance? How many years would be damned with restraint?
I released a slow breath and pushed myself off the door. Lock your door, he had said. Well, I did the exact opposite. And I knew Nathan enough to be certain that he— He'd come. He'd come and check if the door was locked.
•••
Will he? The door ain't locked Nate 😜
Let me know what you guys think about this one! My hands are honestly itching to write more, but I feel like the next one will be definitely worth the wait. Comment your thoughts about de Marco, and how well Krissy and Nate kept their little secret 😉
See ya very soon vamps ♥️