Lachlan's P.O.V.
I wrung my hands together, unsure of how I would get few the next... month. Shit. I really did not think this through and I knew that I would have to suffer through it because I didn't have any other choice, I couldn't just up and leave back home because I couldn't sleep.
At home I had three roommates, Jay, Billy and Elliot and they were amazing with everything because they understood that there were reasons behind it.
I had constant nightmares and I couldn't sleep without someone beside me, they knew that. Often all 4 of us fell asleep on the same bed because we were just so comfortable with doing that and even though none of us were together, we were all just friends, and they supported me with everything.
But now I was in Canada, without any of the boys that had been supporting me for all those years, I knew it would be a struggle. The plane trip had been hard enough, I literally couldn't fall asleep because I knew I would wake up screaming and disturb everyone, which was the last thing I wanted.
And when I got to Rob's house I realised how much of a struggle it would be. Rob's apartment was tiny so we were sharing the same room, sharing the bed too, and I was there for a month so I didn't doubt that Rob would find out sooner or later about my constant nightmares.
The first night I didn't sleep. Every time my head started to nod I jolted my head back and just desperately kept playing on my phone under the covers to try and not fall asleep. Rob was peacefully sleeping on the other side of the bed and I tried not to wake him, not wanting him to know.
The next morning he confronted me, just after I was on my third cup of coffee.
"Lachlan? Why aren't you sleeping?" I shook my head and just kept sipping my coffee, almost completely ignoring him. "Lachlan." He poked my shoulder. "You can't keep ignoring me."
"Watch me." I mumbled, slipping from the bench and heading up to my office to start my recording and editing for the day. I had recorded some videos at home but not many so I knew I would have to work quite hard to get everything up in time, especially because I was so tired.
Eventually I couldn't fight it and I just gave in to the darkness, falling asleep at my desk after only a few hours of trying to record. I didn't even remember falling asleep afterwards, all I remembered was my eyes closing and then waking up a few hours later with tears streaming down my cheeks.
I clamped my hand over my mouth when I realised that I had been screaming and tried to stifle my sobs, knowing that Rob was somewhere around. I was still at my desk, curled up in my chair, tears streaming down my cheeks and sobs heaving at my chest.
Only a few seconds later the door behind me was gently pushed open and Rob came into the room, closing it behind him. I ignored him for a few seconds, wiping my eyes and trying to stop myself from crying before Rob started questioning me because I knew it would make me more upset.
"Oh Lachy..." He whispered, hugging me close. "Is this why you aren't sleeping?"
I nodded numbly, still trying to stifle my sobs with the sleeve of my jumper. Rob pulled my hand away and wiped my eyes with his thumb, letting me press my head into his shoulder while he rocked me back and forth, his hand running up and down my back.
"It's okay." He whispered. "It's okay, you're okay."
Eventually I calmed down enough to sit up on my own and I wiped my eyes miserably, waiting for the questioning. But it didn't come. Instead Rob just reached out and took my hand, pulling me in close and wrapping his other arm around my back, simply holding me.
I'm pretty sure I fell asleep at one point, drifting off with my head resting on Rob's shoulder because when I woke up who knows how many hours later Rob was still curled up beside me. We were both on the floor of the office and there was now a blanket wrapped over me but Rob was right beside me, trailing one of his hands along my arm.
I felt peaceful and relaxed for once, there had been no demons plaguing my thoughts for a few short hours while he was beside me and it was nice. My eyes flickered open and closed for a few short minutes while I tried to wake up but at the same time tried to go back to sleep because I was so comfortable.
Rob noticed after a little while and started running his fingers through my hair gently, never speaking which I was so grateful for. I didn't think I could cope with talking to anyone or anyone talking to me at that moment. It was too peaceful.
"You okay now Lachy?" He whispered after what felt like an hour of blissful silence. "Did you sleep okay?"
"Yeah." I mumbled back, my eyes still closed.
"You were asleep for almost 6 hours." He whispered, still brushing my hair. "You must have been exhausted." I nodded again and yawned, starting to feel more awake now that I was relaxed and very much refreshed.
I took me a while but after a few minutes of trying and failing to get myself to sit up, Rob hauled me into a sitting position and then took my hand, getting me to stand. I wobbled a bit at first, my muscles were sore from having slept on the floor but Rob was right beside me, so I didn't worry.
He led me to the bedroom and we both sat on the bed in silence for a few minutes before he started to ask me about what had happened. I sighed and tried to explain.
"I've just... always had these nightmares." I said, sighing. "For as long as I can remember, especially since leaving school, I've had nightmares most, if not every, night and there's nothing I can do to stop them. My parents tried everything when I was younger, therapy, drugs, I even went into hospital once for sleeping tests and they said they couldn't do anything and that they should just go away on their own."
I hated even thinking about it because they didn't just go away, they stayed and they never seemed to want to leave. Every goddamn night I had to put up with it, at least until I found that someone sleeping beside me seemed to get rid of them.
"But when I moved in with my roommates, something changed. We had to share bedrooms at first because of how small the house was and I realised that someone in the room with me really helped. I don't even know why, it just.... helped."
Rob nodded, squeezing my hand comfortingly.
"We sort of just figured it out from there and pretty soon we were all sleeping in the same bed, cuddling. It wasn't even a romantic thing, we were just so comfortable with each other that no one gave a shit and it helped me so much cause I almost never had a nightmare after that."
"So that was why you didn't sleep?" He asked, and I nodded.
"I couldn't because I knew it would start all over again." I sighed and buried my head in my hands, but to my surprise Rob placed one finger under my chin and tilted my head back, forcing me to look at him.
"I'm here Lachlan. If what you need to stay functional is to have someone to sleep beside then I will be that someone and if you need more then I will be that more." I went red and looked away but he tilted my chin again. "I will always be here, okay, no matter what it is you need."
"Thank you Rob." I whispered. "Thank you."
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I woke up the next morning, happy and content. Rob was fast asleep next to me, one of his arms slung over my back, holding me close to him even while he was unconscious. I smiled to myself, feeling comforted by the fact that he was there.
I hadn't had a nightmare and I had slept through the entire night peacefully, not even stirring at all. I yawned and rolled over, rubbing my eyes and sitting up in bed, pulling myself from Rob's grip. I giggled when Rob's hand reached out for me sleepily, trying to find where I had gone.
"Lachy..." He groaned, squinting when he opened his eyes. "Come back..."
"I'm getting up Rob, it's half past 9." He sighed and rolled over, kicking the blankets off.
"Did you sleep okay last night?" He mumbled, looking up at me with his arm over his face. I smiled.
"Yeah. I slept amazing."
"Good. Now can you come back cause I want more cuddles." I giggled but flopped back onto the mattress, allowing Rob to wrap his arms around me again and wiggle closer, pulling me into his chest.
"Thanks Rob." I whispered. "For everything."
"You don't need to thank me." He whispered back, pecking my nose. "I'd do anything for you."