in this chapter the italics is a flashback.
Peeta and I spend the day hiding out in the Cave, protected from the stormy weather. The rain and wind pelts against the cave walls and roof, creating a sweet melody but also giving the sound an angry touch. Neither of us mention the almost kiss again and it is almost like things are back to normal with us. Not that we had any sense of normal beforehand.
"I need to get to work tomorrow" Peeta mentions late in the afternoon.
I look out to the stormy grey sky "should we try to make a run for it?" I ask hesitantly.
"I think we might have to" Peeta sighs running a hand through his messy hair. I stand up, having to crouch a little from the low roof of the stone.
"Let's go" I say motioning for Peeta to follow me.
"Do you even know the way out of here?" Peeta asks as he shields his face from the rain with his arm. I roll my eyes at him; I know these woods better than the back of my hand.
"Of course I do" I scoff "I've been living here for over a year" and I immediately regret mentioning that when Peeta's face visibly falls. "Peeta" I warn.
"no Katniss, I just can't believe you had to live like that, you of all people" he murmurs and I nod my head slightly, brushing back a loose strand of my hair that had fallen from my braid, I had re-braided it after Peeta and I had both fallen asleep from his fingers gently running through my loose waves of raven hair.
We start the walk back to the main town and my hair is already plastered to my face, slick from the rain. I look over at a very dishevelled Peeta to see that he is completely in the same boat; with his usually waving blond hair now a dark blond and flat against his head.
We don't talk for most of the way. A lot of the time I forget he is walking beside me. I am looking up at the sky, the raindrops falling like pins against my face, the grey clouds stormy and moving fast with the wind.
I trip over a log I didn't see from looking up at the sky, I feel my stomach plummet as I fall towards the ground. I close my eyes tightly waiting for the moment of impact but it never comes. Instead I feel two strong hands seize my under my armpits and steady my when I'm halfway to the ground.
I open my eyes and Peeta pulls me so I'm standing upright. It is now that my mind swivels back to the kiss, we are that close again, my head tilted up slightly and my stormy grey eyes look into his deep blue ones. I am about to pull away when it hits me.
That sweet scent again, the one that is so distinctly Peeta and the oil paints, why oil paints? And the back of my mind is screaming at me to pull away, demanding that I run, because I don't need this right now. But I want to, I don't know where it's coming from but I am drawn to Peeta.
And that's when I remember, Peeta wants to be just friends, I had read him wrong earlier today in the cave. I pull away and it's like the earth has started moving again, time is unfrozen. The storm suddenly starts up again, even though it never really stopped, it did in my mind. Peeta shifts awkwardly and I turn away.
"Come on, let's get moving" I say and I hear him sigh behind me and I know he is running his hands through his hair. We continue walking until I am shivering from the cold.
"Do you want my jacket?" Peeta asks but I shake my head "it won't help, it's soaked" I say.
When we finally reach the main town I am just about ready to collapse on the ground and I think I might have, had it not been for Peeta's steady hand which somehow found its way onto the lower of my back between here and the edge of the woods. It was a small gesture but somehow it kept me standing upright. The warmth from the pressure of his hand was comforting in this storm, in some crazy way. Maybe that's just my homeless mind wheeling though, being craved of friendly or loving touch for most of your life creates such a desire.
"Are we going back to your house?" I ask.
"Yeah, well there's nowhere else to go really" he mumbles and then his hand disappears and its light the whole world has just gone cold again. What are these feelings? Am I going mad? Or just slightly crazy? Does Peeta feel them too because I'm really starting to freak out. I have never experienced anything like it before. It's almost like spending that night in the cave has opened up a whole new set of emotions.
As soon as Peeta has opened the door we trudge inside, our clothes weighed down from the rain.
"Why was your door unlocked?" I ask him; back when my family was alive I know my father never bothered to lock the door. But that was just because we lived in an old seam house.
Peeta runs a hand through his wet hair, "I kind left in a rush when I saw your letter" he says and his face tints the slightest shade of red.
"Oh" my eyes look down to the ground, sensing the awkward shift in the room.
"You go have a shower first" he says and I nod, not bothering to argue again. And then I walk up the stairs, leaving a silent Peeta behind me.
*****
The next day I am awoken to a knock on Peeta's bedroom door. "Come in" I mumble, rubbing the sleep from my eyes tiredly.
"Sorry if I woke you" I hear Peeta say and I lean up against the pillows of Peeta's bed and open my eyes a little.
"That's s'ok" I yawn and he leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'm leaving for work now, if you need me you know where I am" he says and I nod sleepily before he smiles at me and walks out, leaving the door open a crack. I lie in bed for another half an hour, procrastinating on whether or not I should actually make the effort to get out of bed.
But something feels off, I can't tell what it is; I can just feel it sinking in my body. Making an empty pit in my stomach. I crawl out of the bed and pull one of Peeta's jackets over my top. I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen where I know a calendar hands on the wall.
My eyes scan it, trying to think of what day it could possibly be. It must be a Monday because it was Peeta's first day back at work this week. And that's when my eyes land on it. The number 14. It jumps out at me like it's trying to tell me something. And my stomach drops when I realize exactly what happened on this day seven years ago.
It was a cloudy day, not necessarily cold, but grey and gloomy. A dark day.
"Katniss don't worry about me, I'll be fine" my little sister rasps. Her voice cracking from the pressure she is undergoing to speak to me. "No prim, shhh" I whisper brushing back her golden locks with my hand. Her pale blue eyes once so full of light and love are now just blank. I can see it already and I know what is going to happen. So does prim, but she's so much stronger than me mentally. She is the only family I have left. The only person I'm sure I truly loved. I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I love prim.
"Prim you're going to be ok" I whisper and I feel my eyes bloom with unshed tears. "You're going to be ok" I cry as I lean down and press a shaky kiss to her forehead, her skin is icy cold. "Katniss, I love you" she whispers "don't let this stop you from life" she says and her eyes water.
"Prim don't, you're not going to die" I cry and I wipe my tears away but they keep coming back. "Your only eight years old Primmy, you can't die yet, please stay with me" I whimper. This is too much for us to go through. "I can't lose you."
"Katniss" she whispers and I grip her hand tightly in my own, her fingers so small and frail.
That's when the nurse and head mistress of the orphanage came bursting into the room. Our mistress grabs my arm and yanks me away from my sister. "Come girl, there's no need for you to be in here any longer" she growls and I yell out through m y tears as my hand is yanked from prims. "prim" I cry and I pull my arm from the mistress' grip and run back over to her, leaning over her bed and wrapping her in a tight hug.
"Don't go, please prim don't go!" I cry, "I'm only twelve and your only eight, please don't go!" I beg but I feel myself being lifted up into the air.
"No!" I cry out as I am carried from prims room "I love you Prim, I'll see you soon, I promise" I yell out just before the door slams shut, blocking me out from my baby sister.
I spend the rest of the night crying. Because it's not fair that my Primmy and I had to go through this, our parents dying and now prim is so sick she probably won't recover. I know there is a cure in the capitol but our mistress refuses to send her.
It was the next day, the 14th when the mistress came storming into the bunk room. There are 11 orphan girls in this room. The mattresses are thin and wiry and we have a thin ratty blanket to cover. "Get up you useless girl" she yells as she pulls the blanket off me. "Why are you crying?" she demands and my small body shakes with fear and sadness.
"I w-w-want my momma and d-daddy" I cry and I have never felt so lonely. "Can I s-see Prim?" I sob and her face contorts into one of disgust.
"Prims gone. She died last night" she snaps and I feel as if all the air has been sucked out of my body, my stomach wrenching and my heart aches.
"No" I gasp through my tears "no, prim I didn't get to say goodbye. She can't be gone. She can't!"
"Well she is. And now you need to stop crying" the mistress snaps before storming out. All the others girls stared at me with sorrow and pity in their eyes, "I'm sorry Katniss" one of the other little girls my age whispers and I shrug her off.
I run. I run and I keep running until I reach the meadows end. Where all the dandelions and bright flowers grow and sway in the breeze. I knew that I couldn't afford a proper place to put dear Prim. But here I decided would be better than any place surrounded by other lost ones.
That day I spend drawing up a large rock with prims name on it. My handwriting is shaky, representing any twelve year olds handwriting. I sit the rock under a willow tree and cover the area in flowers. Every year I vow to come back here on this date and hold a small service for Prim.
And that's where I intend to go now. I didn't realize I am crying until I feel the tears streak down my face. I pull Peeta's jacket tightly around me and then head out the front door. Not looking back at all, not even to see if anyone is watching; I make my way down to the meadow, the place where I know Prim lies.
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so this chapter was longer than usual! but yeah I hope you liked this chapter, just added some background knowledge in there! I decided to update this tonight and i will start working on the big little wonders update tomoorw night.
This will hopefully be updated again on saturday like usual...or it might be sunday this week. dont worry you will have one by sunday night!
love you all! dont forget to vote, comment and enjoy :D