#PTG43 Chapter 43
OG Friends (Ft. Steele)
Matt: @Katherine, kailan ka uuwi? Balak mo na ba talagang mabulok jan sa Alaska?
Simon: Kung di ka pa uuwi, uso magpadala ng balikbayan box para sa mga naulila mong kaibigan
Steele: I accept cash
Matt: @Steele Gago ka kasi anak ka nang anak. Hobby mo?!
Steele: Gago parang di ka tuwang tuwa sa mga anak ko?
Napa-iling ako habang pinapanood ko na humaba ang usapan nila. I quietly sipped my hot chocolate as I stifled laughter as I read how they're all teaming up against Steele. Ilang taon na ang lumipas, pero sobrang isip bata pa rin nila. I used to dream about this kahit nung nasa college pa lang kami... Na kapag tumanda kami, nandito pa rin kami para sa isa't-isa...
And now that it's really happening?
It's way better than my imagination.
Psalm: Coming home for the wedding?
A separate chat box opened. Ibinaba ko iyong mug ng iniinom ko.
Katherine: Invited ba ako?
Psalm: Obviously. And Joey will kill me if you don't come.
Psalm: Did you know that for my wedding gift to her, she asked me to drag you back to the PH? Or at least we get married in Alaska? Can you feel her desperation from here?
Katherine: LOL
Psalm: Seriously though? Coming home? I swear I'll book the ticket for you. Uwi na. Miss ka na namin.
I left him on seen. I was going home. Of course, I was coming home. There's no reason good enough for me to miss two of my best friends getting married.
I was packing my bag when I heard someone knocking on the door. It's Cha. It's surely Cha. She lived just a few blocks away from where I was staying. She's the one who invited me to go to Alaska. Pumayag ako na pumunta kasi alam ko na kailangan ko talagang mapag-isa... I needed to be alone to find myself...
Jax was with me, but I knew that only I could help myself.
At alam ko rin na kahit hindi sabihin ni Jax, alam ko na napapagod din siya na tulungan ako... There's only so much he could do for me... The rest? I had to do it for myself. Kasi ako lang talaga ang makaka-tulong sa sarili ko.
And Dr. Sena told me that I couldn't heal in the same environment that made me sick. I needed a new place. I needed a new place to be able to breathe again.
"What?" I asked when I opened the door.
"Uuwi ka nga?" she asked again.
I nodded as I opened the door for her. "Yes. I told you, 'di ba? Bakit kasi hindi ka na lang sumabay sa akin pauwi?" tanong ko sa kanya. She jumped on my sofa. It's weird, really... It's weird kung paano sobrang nag-iiwasan kami nung nasa law school kami, iyong tipo na makita ko pa lang siya sa hallway na magkakasalubong kami, umiikot na agad ako kahit gaano pa kalayo ang detour? Ganoon kami sobrang dikit simula nung pumunta ako sa Alaska.
We would never admit it, but we're sort of best friends already.
I'd never tell that to Joey and Anj. Those two would kill me.
"Di mo pa rin kinakausap si Iñigo?" I asked. Hindi ko pa kinakausap si Iñigo. I didn't know where to start. I was so ashamed of how I acted before... I kept on blaming him for something that I was sure I would've done myself if I were in his position.
If I were the prosecutor and someone threatened Jax? I'd do the same. In a heartbeat. No questions asked.
But I didn't want to tell him that over the phone... I wanted to tell him that in person... He deserved that. He, at the very least, deserved that after everything he went through.
"Kinakausap."
"And?"
She shrugged. "I'm not ready. Yet. I don't know. I'm enjoying staying here..."
"Wala kang balak umuwi?"
"Meron... Though hindi ko alam kung kailan talaga..."
I frowned. "Fine."
"Di ka na ba babalik dito?" she asked as she stared around and saw that most of the things have been boxed already. I spent the last couple of days arranging everything. Matagal din ako dito. Sa mga unang linggo ko, nasa loob lang ako ng bahay... Natatakot lumabas... But Cha dragged me out... She was the one who forced me to live again... Minsan, naiinggit ako sa kanya. Sobrang tapang niya. She's been through a lot, but you can never see it on her face. She's always so full of life.
I missed being like that.
I was already better, but I wasn't the same.
But maybe it's for the best. People evolve. Ganito na ako. I just have to love who I am now. It's still me... just the scarred version... But it's still me.
"Maybe just for a visit... because I'm finally coming home..."
* * *
After nearly a day of flying with stopover in Tokyo, I finally landed in the Philippines. I didn't tell any of my friends that I'd be coming back. I told no one that I'd be returning. I wanted it to be a surprise. I knew they badly wanted to see me. Araw-araw puno ng pangungulit sa akin—lalo na iyong mga lalaki—para umuwi ako.
I stayed in a hotel. The wedding's in 2 days, and I still needed to fly to Balesin for that. Psalm surely didn't spare any expense for Joey. Sobrang in-love nung tao na 'yun.
After leaving my things in the hotel, I just took a quick nap, and fixed myself up. Paglabas ko, thankfully, the hotel arranged for me to get a rented car. I quickly drove to a 2-storey building. It wasn't much... but it was a start.
"Good morning, Ma'am!" the security guard greeted me. Ngumiti ako kahit medyo nagtataka ako kung bakit parang kilala niya ako sa paraan ng pagngiti niya.
"Ms. Katherine!" bati sa akin ni Selma.
I wrinkled my nose. "I told you, just Katherine."
She smiled shyly. "Hindi po ako masasanay na walang paggalang..." sabi niya. "Alam niyo naman po na utang na loob ko ang buhay ko sa inyo..."
Ngumiti na lang ako sa kanya. She didn't owe me her life. If anything, I owed her my sanity. Kasi sa panahon na pakiramdam ko wala na akong pag-asa, binigyan niya ako ng pag-asa... She gave me purpose... She showed me the light...
Na may kakayanan akong tumulong.
That my life didn't end when I felt like I already lost everything...
Selma toured me around. I wasn't here when the law firm building was being built. Nasa Alaska na ako, pero sinusubukan ko pa rin na alamin lahat ng mga nangyayari dito... I gave up the position in my parents' company. I was contented being one of the board members. I never liked working for a corporation...
Isa pa, tuwing tatapak ako doon, alam ko na patuloy kong maiisip si Kier. And I wasn't sure I was ready for that... Not yet.
"Are you sure you don't want to study again?" tanong kong muli sa kanya. For now, she's just overseeing everything as part of the management. High school lang kasi ang natapos niya. But she's smart. And she's trying. That's what's important. That you're willing to try.
Umiling siya. "Hindi na... Matanda na ako para doon. Masaya ako na nakaka-tulong ako dito sa paraan na kaya ko."
I sighed. "How about... your husband?" tanong ko sa kanya. Tipid lang siyang ngumiti. Hindi pa rin nakikita kung nasaan iyong katawan ng asawa niya. She's convinced that the police already killed him when they took him... but I didn't want to lose hope. Hope's the only thing we got. Ayokong bumitiw doon. Kahit gaano pa ka-liit, kakapit ako hanggang maaari.
I met some of the lawyers. I thanked them for their hard work. Alam ko kasi na hindi ganoon kalaki iyong sweldo na naibibigay ko sa kanila... We didn't charge most of our client dahil priority namin iyong mga mahihirap talaga... But if they could pay, then good. Pero kung wala, masaya na ako na maka-tulong.
Papaalis na sana ako nang mapatigil ako. It seemed like they're having a problem kaya naman lumapit ako.
"What is it?" I asked one of our lawyers, looked like heaven just fell down on him.
"May emergency po kasi. Kailangan kong umuwi muna, pero kailangan na rin kasi 'tong i-file kasi last day na sa appeal..." problemadong-problemadong sabi niya.
I thought of my schedule for today. Ngayon iyong bridal shower ni Joey. Anj sent me invitation kahit 'di niya alam na uuwi ako. Balak ko sana sila i-surprise mamaya. Pwedeng bukas ko na lang gawin. This was far more pressing.
"Okay. I'll file it," I said, and asked him for all the necessary details and documents. He seemed to be worried. I smiled at him. "Don't worry, I may not look like it, but I'm a lawyer, too."
Biglang namula iyong mukha niya. "Sorry po, Ma'am... Ako na lang kaya magpasa? Kasi baka kabahan iyong kliyente kapag 'di ako nakita..."
My heart softened. I could see his genuine concern for his client. Dapat ganito lahat ng abogado. Iyong may pakielam. Hindi puro pera, puro koneksyon.
"No, you fix your problem. I promise I'll take care of this," sabi ko sa kanya. I would just file an appeal. And I would never jeopardize any case. Kung alam ko na wala naman akong maitutulong, I would never dare put my hands on it. Buhay ang naka-salalay sa bawat kaso. I should know... I lived it.
After a few more minutes of assuring him that everything would be fine, I proceeded to the RTC branch that rendered the judgment para magfile ng appeal. Pagdating ko doon, huminga ako nang malalim.
"It's fine..." I kept on reminding myself. Ilang sandali pa na huminga ako nang malalim... I could do this... I was much more stronger than I was before...
With my knees shaking as I took my first step, I began my way inside the RTC. Panay ang paghinga ko nang malalim. I needed to be calm... or at least to look the part.
I was about to ask for direction, when my world seemed to have halted upon seeing that face...
Mabilis na sumikip ang dibdib ko. Hindi ko maialis ang mga mata ko sa kanya. Pinapanood ang bawat galaw niya...
"Jax..." I whispered as I watched him move, as I watched every movement of his lips. Gusto kong lumapit sa kanya... Gusto kong kausapin siya... Pero para akong natulos sa kinatatayuan ko...
I studied everything about him... wanting to know if he changed... but he still looked the same... he still felt the same...
Did he feel the same for me, too?
Sabi niya... sabi niya hihintayin niya ako...
Totoo ba 'yun?
Or did the years apart change his feelings for me?
My heart jumped when he accidentally turned his eyes into my direction. I saw how fast the emotions changed in his eyes. How he went from being surprised to confused to scared...
Until he just closed the distance between us.
"Are you really here?" he asked as if he was afraid that I was just a figment of his imagination.
I nodded, and smiled at him. "I... I was supposed to surprise you tonight..." mahinang sabi ko. My heart was steadily beating as I stared at him. I wanted to touch him so that I'd know he's real... "But... hi, I guess?"
He was still looking at me like I just knocked the air out of his chest. Bahagyang umawang ang labi niya, pero walang salita ang lumabas. "I..." he trailed, but no word came out next.
"Are you free?" I asked, taking the first step.
He nodded, still looking at me like he was afraid that I'd vanish into thin air. "Yes... I'll just have to talk to my client..."
Tumango ako. "Okay... I still have to file for an appeal."
Napa-kurap siya. "You're... practicing?"
I smiled. "Not yet. But I will."
Mabilis na sumibol ang ngiti sa mukha niya. "Wow."
"Sayang mga tinuro mo sa akin dati," I said, teasing.
He still kept that smile on his face, that look in his eyes. "Are you back? For good?" he asked as if he was afraid to hear the answer.
"It depends..."
"On what?"
"Did you wait? Like you promised?"