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I couldn't seem to get my eyes to open willingly, I knew it was morning and still probably early but my head kept telling me I needed to wake up.
I had no idea why. In fact, all I wanted to do was curl myself more into the blankets and put my face in the pillow, falling back asleep.
But I sat up, running my hands down the length of my face.
I look down at my lap, the sheets had fallen from my chest and I then realized I was utterly naked. Even though no one was around I found myself clenching the sheet to my chest.
I turn to my left, half expecting Christian to still be there like he was when I had fallen asleep in his arms. But he was gone, no sign of him.
Memories of last night had come rushing to my head. The way it had felt to be touched by Christian, the feel of his lips on my neck and my body. It was definitely a fantasy I didn't think I'd be living.
Why did the thought of me sleeping with Christian feel so surreal?
But none the less I had slept with him and it was amazing.
I stood up, the sheet still wrapped around my body. I wasn't sure if Christian had gone to work or if he had just left for some unknown reason.
My mind couldn't help but wander off into its own thinking, what if he had left because he regretted everything? I tried not thinking that way but with the situation, I couldn't even tell myself if I regretted it or not!
I held the sheet to my chest tightly while I opened the door. The place seemed empty, I had no clue what time it was but it felt early enough.
I walked into the hallway and spotted Christians room, his door was open.
I had never gone into his room before. I always imagined it big and decorated nicely.
I hesitated, standing slightly closer to the door. I wondered if I should just walk in. Would that be rude? Would he think that I was lurking around or something?
After much debate, I decided that there couldn't be too much harm if I walked in.
So I did.
Inside the room, centered, sat a huge king sized bed. Across from the bed was a big flat screen tv and under that was a wooden dresser. On the dresser sat frame pictures, one of Christian next to his uncle, smiling. He looked much younger in the picture, and he had a cap and gown on. I figured it was his graduation day.
Next to that picture was a woman holding a baby, and it didn't take me long to realize that it was probably his mother holding him.
And right next to that picture sat a picture frame faced down. I look around, no sign of Christian in the room. I lifted up the frame and narrowed my eyes.
It was a picture of him in a snowsuit, clearly on some type of ski trip, next to him was Alexander with his arm around his shoulder. They both smiled and looked happy.
A friendship I might've broken up.
Guilt swelled inside me and I ended up dropping the picture back in its place, faced down.
I turn around, examining the rest of his bedroom. It was pretty empty though I couldn't help but notice on his side table were a stack of books.
It meant he read which I found fascinating. I never really imagined Christian in his room. I imagined him always on the go, which was probably a pretty accurate description.
I walked around his room, examining nothing in particular.
To the left of the room were two different doors. I figured one was his bathroom and the other his closet.
I was close to his bed when one of the doors opened. I almost made a run for it, but I realized it was probably too late.
Christian stepped out wearing his usual work suit though he didn't have his jacket or tie on. But he had a white button up with some black dress pants he matched it with some jet black wingtip lace-up shoes,
He was in the middle of fixing his cuffs when he looked up, looking quite surprised to see me.
"Sorry!" Was all I managed to blurt out. His eyebrows raised and the side of his mouth twitched up into a smirk.
"Goodmorning." He says with a polite smile.
"I uh- I saw the door was open. I would've knocked but I wasn't even sure if you were in here.." I trail off.
My hands on the sheet seemed to tighten as if I didn't want him seeing me naked like he hadn't already.
He walked towards the ajar door, shutting it completely.
He then walked towards his dresser where he opened one of the drawers. He grabbed out a rolled up tie, holding just a bit of it and letting the rest of it unroll.
I watched as he lifted up his collar and wrapped the tie around it. He was swift to tie it around his neck.
"You're working on a Saturday?" I question, biting my lip. "I'm just quickly going to the office to send a few emails and then I have lunch with a colleague." He glanced at me, his name eyes running down the body. He had a look on his face I couldn't read. I wondered if it was disgust or guilt.
"Oh- okay." There was a bit of disappointment in my tone and I knew it was because the last few hours we had alone together, he'd be gone. My mother would be here in probably a few hours I assume.
I adjusted my sheet once again before walking towards the door. As I walked by Christian I felt his hand suddenly grab my waist, stopping me from walking any closer to the door.
"Where are you going?" He asks looking at me in a way that made me feel a bit intimidated, weirdly enough. "I uh- back to my room." I murmur.
His breath felt hot against my neck, his hand tight in place on my waist.
I felt him lean down and suddenly his lips were on my neck. He then turned me around and placed his lips on mine. I wasn't surprised at how soft they were. At this point, I felt as if I should be just a bit used to his lips but everything about him felt so much like a fantasy that whenever he kissed me it felt like a dream.
Though I had the urge to wrap my arms around his neck, I kept my hands tight on the sheet knowing if they left the sheet it'd fall to the ground.
I leaned away from the kiss before he could. "I'll see you later?" I ask.
He looks down, doing something I had never seen him do before, he bit his lip, in a way that made me feel as if he were seducing me.
"If I didn't have a schedule to meet-" He whispers though I felt as if he were whispering it to himself. I smile, a slight laugh escaping my lips. "I'll see you later." I correct before walking out of the room, a cheeky smile playing on my lips.
He was perfect. Everything about him felt amazing. When I was around him all my worries seem to fade away, which was both a good and bad thing.
~~~
I sat, looking down at my coffee as I explained everything to Melissa. Something about saying everything with Christian out loud made me feel guilty.
Everything was just so wrong about the situation, yet it felt so right! How the hell is that possible?
"Wow- so you slept with your future stepdad?" Melissa asks.
My eyes went wide, I snapped my head up, looking around us. Luckily the coffee shop was pretty empty except an older couple a few seats away from us and the employees.
"Can you say that any louder?!" I hiss at her. She chuckles, leaning back in the booth. "I'm just shocked." She says with a shrug before taking a sip of her coffee.
"Me too." I murmur. "It's not exactly ideal to be in love with someone your mothers marrying," I whisper.
Though I felt sad thinking about, a bubbly feeling came in my stomach with the thought Christians in love with me...
"So what about that? Is he still going to marry your mother?" She asks.
"I have no clue. Neither of us wanted to talk about any of that. My mother came back home today and last night was the only night we had alone." She gives me a knowing look.
"Zaina-" She starts, a pitiful tone in her voice. "I don't think it matters if this marriage is fake or not, whether she is actually with Christian or not... I don't think it's right to be- ya know? Sleeping with him." She seemed hesitant to say so, but I agreed with her.
That's what made everything worst, that I knew what I was doing was utterly terrible to do to someone, especially my mother.
"I know." I frown, looking back down at my coffee.
Apart of me felt desperate to search for an excuse, any excuse that made what I was doing okay. But it wasn't okay! Of course inside we know this marriage isn't actually real, but to everyone else around us sees it as real, and if it ever got out that Christian and I were together, it'd ruin his reputation, my mothers and mine.
Of course, I don't really matter since I'm not known by anyone but Christian has a reputation to hold! He owns a multi-billion dollar company! What would the people that work with him think?
"I, of course, don't want to tell you what to do- but you have to agree that this situation looks weird." She points out. I nod with a sigh before turning my head to glance out the window.
"It's a situation that can't happen," I whisper.
"Are you okay?" She asks, a worried on her face.
My eyes stung with tears that threatened to spill. I held it back, giving her a reassuring smile.
"Yeah." I wasn't okay in any sense of the word. Though my relationship with Christian, if you can even call it that, barely began, it felt like it was definitely going to end soon.