So it's the end of the year and this is my end of the year post on this weird rambling book thing. Lol.
I hope you all had a great Christmas!
Mine was really nice and relaxing.
But actually...on Christmas eve...I told my mom I'm bisexual.
My sister told her that she was dating a girl and when she didn't react negatively, I swooped in and stole the show hahaha!
I ended up bawling my eyes out.
My mom didn't say much. But she wasn't mean either.
She held me while I cried and told me that she loved me, but I know she's not really "happy" about it. We haven't talked about it since then.
BUT at least I told her. That's what matters.
She may be praying for me every night now lol, but I'm just glad I had the courage to say something.
I'm going to visit my sister in a couple weeks and I'm very excited to meet her girlfriend.
...Mostly because she's rich.
But can you blame me?!
Haha! Apparently she owns multiple houses and they're really nice. She gave my sister a diamond necklace for Christmas and I'm like *sobs* I want a rich girlfriend/boyfriend.
LOL. Even though I am very happy being single.
I just want someone to buy me anything I want and take me out to fancy dinners...is that too much to ask for???
Haha! Anyways, I'm going to get back on track here.
I got pretty much everything I asked for, which wasn't much. It was just a good day.
But now, 2018 is almost over.
I mostly just wanted to talk about this year a little bit...because it's been the best year of my life.
Some pretty amazing things happened:
I started going to college after almost 9 years of being out of school. This was a huge step for me. And it literally changed my whole life. I've really enjoyed it (even though last semester was uber stressful) and I'm excited for my classes next semester. I don't want to go back quite yet, but I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy my classes next semester.
Another big thing was that I quit my job I'd had for over five years and started a whole brand new one. Which was crazy. I'm so glad to be done with that hellhole and I'm so happy to be working for my new boss ❤️ I've talked about all this before so I'm not going to bore you by repeating all of it.
I also finally accepted that I was bisexual. I came out to all of you in chapter 23 of BD...I still get comments on that just about everyday lol. That was very scary because it was kind of like "no turning back now, you've admitted it now." I may have allowed myself to accept it sooner had my former best friend not said numerous times "thats not a real thing" or "i'm still not sure bisexuality is a real thing." Like it was impossible to come out to her after she said all those things, so what was the point? I might as well just ignore it. I liked boys anyways, it didn't matter if I liked girls or not because I could just pretend. But it wasn't until she was out of my life that I realized that I was in fact bisexual.
Which leads me to my best friend, or former best friend. Who is no longer in my life and I'm...happy. I've talked about this with my family, but I just find it interesting that during the best year of my life and the year that I made the biggest and most positive changes EVER—she wasn't in my life. I feel like that's a huge sign and it's just time to let go of her for good.
Now onto Wattpad:
It's funny thinking back on where I was at this time last year.
I was gaining a tiny bit of a following from BD and people seemed to be really enjoying it and I was honestly on cloud nine. I never imagined people would like my stories that much. I even told my mom at one point that "I never thought something like this would happen to me because I always thought I wasn't a good enough person, that I didn't deserve it."
That's pretty depressing, I know.
But for some reason over 12,000 of you came to me this year.
I'll never fully understand why. I'll never get why my writing is able to attract that many people, but I'm happy about it and never going to take it for granted.
The slightly sad part is that I never felt pressure from Wattpad when I had a few hundred followers last year.
Everyone wanted BD, so I was posting BD and occasionally other things.
But now, people want everything!
Lol.
And because I have no self control and I just want everyone to meet the characters that have become my babies, I write a lot of stories at one time...so I know it's really my fault.
But it's hard knowing that you can't please everyone.
If I update SK, people want BT. If I update BT, people want PB. And on and on and on.
Also, like so many people ask for ILWAPS and it has me so perplexed because I honestly thought nooooo one would like that. It was just a dumb idea I came up with and thought to maybe make it into a story.
Okay, I'm really rambling now and need to get back on track.
Wattpad changed a lot for me this year.
Some bad things happened, but a lot of good happened too.
Like I said, 12,000 more of you appeared this year which still blows my mind. (I had hopes that I would reach 9,000 followers by the end of the year and the fact that I surpassed that is crazy to me.)
And I finished three stories this year.
The first story I managed to finish was Lost and Found.
This was a huge milestone for me because it was the first story I finished on Wattpad...and actually only the second original story I had ever finished.
I didn't finish stories before I began posting on Wattpad. And I haven't really told anyone that because I didn't want to freak you guys out lol. I had started about 100 stories before Wattpad and only finished one of them...yeah, not the greatest track record.
But I mainly think it was because I had no motivation. You guys motivate me to keep going. Even all the pestering that happens sometimes makes me go "Okay, I really need to write that."
It was like, before I had an audience, there was no point.
I enjoyed writing. I wrote A LOT.
But I would be writing one story and then a different idea would pop into my head and I would never go back to that first one. It was just an endless line of me jumping from story to story.
But because of you guys, I want you to have one complete story that you can may go back to time and time again.
You're the only reason any of these are finished. So you can give yourselves a pat on the back for that.
After I finished Lost and Found, I was like wow...I can actually do it. I can finish a story. lol.
So that motivated me to get more stuff done.
And then I managed to finish Baby Doll and Sugar Daddy...my most popular stories.
This was terrifying to me. BD and SD were the only reason I had followers. And the fear that no one would read any of my stories anymore if I ended them nagged at me all the time.
I find it hilarious that my following only skyrocketed since BD and SD ended.
So I'm very very happy that that fear didn't come true.
Ending BD, more so than SD, was very strange to me.
Because I had felt like Danny and Elijah were with me the whole time I was gaining followers on Wattpad. Tom and Taylor too, but Danny and Elijah were first.
I felt like people were following Danny and Eli, not me.
They were more interested in them and not anything else I had to say...
Is this making any sense at all? lol. I'm sorry if it isn't.
I feel like I owe everything to Danny and Elijah.
Yeah, I created them. But if you know me at all, then you would know that I believe my characters have a mind of their own.
I've been writing and multiple times I've just said out loud, "Wow. I didn't know that was going to happen."
haha! Because it's like they take the wheel and go in a total different direction than I was planning.
Maybe I sound like an absolute freak. Or maybe you guys understand.
The point is, Danny and Elijah (and Tom and Taylor) completely changed 2018 for me.
And I will kind of always associate them with this year. Because even though they'll be in other stories and there will be one shots, there will never be Baby Doll. And there will never be Sugar Daddy.
But I'm excited to see what 2019 will bring. And I can't wait to see if other couples take over next year. lol.
______________________
Now I want to move on to my goals for 2019.
I rarely make new years resolutions, but I know that a lot of things are going to change next years (which I will talk about another time 😉) and I just wanted to make some resolutions.
So my everyday life resolutions are:
—Be healthier
—Go to bed earlier
—Procrastinate less
Pretty simple and I feel like those things would probably be on a lot of other people's resolutions list lol.
I'm a night owl and I need to begin going to bed earlier. My classes are a lot earlier next semester than they have been the past two semesters so something needs to change.
I'm hoping I can pull it off, so wish me luck!
I'm the biggest procrastinator and I hate it. I need it to stop. Like really really bad! Please procrastination, GO AWAY!
Lol.
And Wattpad goals/resolutions (which you are probably more interested in):
—Finish TPAHS
—Finish SK
—Finish PB
—Finish BT
—Finish Elijah
Now this is verrrryyyy ambitious for me.
TPAHS is my top priority.
If I don't finish that in 2019, I'm just gonna end it all and let Dorian and Camille kill me. Because I deserve it. Honestly, Dorian and Kit would probably come for me for neglecting Camille like I have.
So yeah, I neeeeeeed to finish TPAHS.
All the others I would really like to finish as well. But TPAHS has a spin off, SK will have a story that branches off from it and so does PB.
So really, if I finish all those, three more stories will be sprouted from their graves lol.
I'm such a weirdo.
I would also like to—hopefully—make a schedule.
Right now I have a theory.
I think it's possible that it may be easier for me to update a lot if I stick to one story for an extended period of time.
Like I magically got four SK chapters out in a row. That was crazy.
But I think it was because I was stuck in the characters' head for so long.
So my plan is to write BT tonight and for the next few days. And we will hopefully see if my theory is correct.
If it is correct, I will make a schedule.
Someone suggested it and I thought it was a great idea.
So I would update one story per week.
Like the first week of the month would be Sweet Kitten. The second would be Boy Toy. The third would be Pretty Boy. And the fourth week would be when I get other stuff done, maybe alternating between each month which story I focus on.
It won't necessarily go in that order, but that's just an example.
I really really want this theory to be right 🙏 it will make me so happy if it is.
Plus I think I'm going to be a lot less stressed out next semester, really hoping so, and that means I will have more time to write while I'm in school.
So keep your fingers crossed for the theory to be correct please 🤞
And I know I said that I would do that characters react to comments thing around this time, but I have honestly been having such a blast actually writing that I don't want to lost my momentum. It will happen one day though.
There should be a BT chapter up later today, so be on the lookout.
I'm going to try to update for the next couple days, but then my mom is having surgery on January 3rd and I'm staying in the hospital with her, so I don't know how much writing will get done during that time.
Sometimes I think I'll get a lot of writing done because I won't have anything to do all day, but also, I'm probably going to be a little on edge and always checking on her so it may not happen at all.
But I am going to try to keep writing until then.
So a few BT chapters will be coming soon if my theory is correct!
I'm going to go now and relax until it gets a little later (for some reason I've only been writing at night).
But I'm going to leave you with this meme that @AshRecords made. I love it to death because it's exactly how I feel about all of you. (If you haven't checked out the memes people are making, then please do that now! lol. There's a reading list on my profile.)
Well, I'll probably see you later in another chapter, but just because I want to, I'm going to say see you next year!
I hope you all have a wonderful 2019.
Love you, Little Jeeps!
—Blue