Elli told her family she was dating Collyn. What's that even supposed to mean? Why would she do that? And why is she telling Parker this now? It seems so random and strange for her. Elli doesn't lie to her family, not like that. Well, not really. She'll lie about her and Parker but that's their agreement. But, what could be lying to her entire family about Collyn have to do with anything? Why would that even be important? Why didn't she tell him sooner?
Parker stays quiet, just looking at Elli. There's this almost burning feeling in the pit of his stomach again and it's making him keep his mouth shut. It's keeping his stare on her, straight face and confused eyes. And Elli is just watching him with growing panic. Parker is never quiet. Quiet Parker is bad, always bad so while Parker's gut is twisting with a burning tinge, Elli's is twisting with guilt.
Parker clears his throat, shaking his head to brush off the feeling he hates. "Why?" He asks and there's a flood of relief that flows through him as the word comes out nonchalant, contradicting the feeling in his stomach.
Elli feels the same relief with the ease of the word and she thinks, maybe it just caught him off guard. "My family, ya know? They just, they always think we're dating and I got tired of hearing it so I told them I was dating Collyn."
Parker nods in understanding before running a hand through his disheveled curls. "But, why Collyn?" Parker asks and this time, his brows are tugging together and an eye is slightly squinting. "I mean, 's fine. But, why? We say we're dating anytime one of us needs to get out of a date and we're each other's plus-ones to parties."
There it is. It's the fear Elli was wishing wouldn't happen. He's hurt. Parker's lost the nonchalant attitude in his smooth words and he's asking why she chose Collyn. Everyone has to make choices but choosing between her best friends was never something Elli intended to do. And now she has to deal with that choice, as small as it may seem. And it may seem small to her but it's not to Parker because, to him, he's good enough to pretend to date when she needs to bail on some jackass but not when it comes to her family. Parker is the one she can show her friends but Collyn is the one she can bring home to her family.
"Uh," Elli shrugs a shoulder, her heart sounding like a thousand racehorses in her ears. "If I said you, they'd push harder I think." Elli tugs at the sleeve of her hoodie as she licks her lips. "I don't want it to change what we're doing." She looks up and her eyes meet Parker's, his expression softening.
Of course, when Collyn asked, Elli couldn't tell him that part. It's all a secret but the truth is that she's scared if she were to tell her family she were dating Parker, it'd change their friends with benefits deal. She's not entirely sure how, but she's afraid it could complicate things with how often they're around her family, especially this time of year. Elli likes where her and Parker are. Friends, benefits, roommates. It's everything she could want and need and it's fun, no pressure, just the two of them having fun and trusting each other in every way. Elli would hate to put any of that at risk. It's just not worth it to her and she can only hope that Parker understands.
A chuckle falls from Parker's lips and Elli's heart lifts. "Why would it change anything?" Parker doesn't get it but the look at her face shows she's genuinely worried it would change things, so he'll hear her out.
"I dunno." Elli shrugs. "Maybe you'd get bored of always having to pretend to date me in front of my family and you'd get bored of what we do here."
Parker scoffs. "Bored of all this," He gestures his hands out. "With you? You've gone mental. I'd never get bored." Parker's words are airy and sweet like honey, just the way Elli loves them.
The look of regret and remorse that took over Elli's expression squeezes Parker's heart and he knew right then that Elli hadn't meant to hurt him or anything of the sort. And hearing her reasoning, hearing that she just didn't want things to change, it makes Parker's heart grow. He doesn't want their thing to end either and while he doesn't think Elli saying she's dating him would change it, he gets it. He understands where she's coming from and he understands why. So, he lets his voice become airy and light-hearted, for the sake of Elli.
"Aren't you just the best." Elli states.
Parker shrugs a single shoulder, gaining a large smirk. "Eh, yeah." Parker chuckles. "Have you told Collyn?"
Elli nods. "Yeah, I told him earlier today." Elli admits.
"Oh, so he didn't know either." Parker mocks.
"Nope." Elli blushes.
"How'd he take it?"
"Good, he said he's perfectly okay with it."
Parker freezes again and he's not quite sure what he expected. Collyn is almost as laid back as Parker is and Parker knows Collyn adores Elli but it's surprising Collyn would just be okay with it. He's not one for lying, especially to families, just like Elli. Yet, he's okay with this. And there's this small part of Parker that couldn't help the clenching of his jaw.
"Did he?" Parker asks, Elli quirking a brow at him.
"Mhm, why wouldn't he?"
Parker shrugs and he tries to play off the gnawing in the pit of his stomach. "No reason." Parker pauses. "'S good is all, be a mess if he'd not been okay with it, ya?"
"Uh-huh." Elli nods slowly, her eyes slowly narrowing at Parker. "You're....not like, mad are you?"
There isn't a reason for Parker to be mad, especially when he seemed fine just a minute prior but Elli knows Parker better than anyone. The last thing she wants is Parker mad over something as small as this and it doesn't even concern him. Telling him is simply a courtesy but it's going to eat at Elli as to why Parker would be mad that Collyn doesn't mind. It doesn't concern him.
"What?" Parker's brows furrow. "No, 'course not. Why would I be?"
Elli shrugs a shoulder. "You shouldn't be." Elli states and the air seems to become thick and stale between the two of them. "You just seemed...less than happy?"
Parker just shakes his head and for some reason, that comment sends the gnawing over the edge. "How do you want me to react, Elli?" Parker scoffs. "Should I be happy that you've lied to your parents, Collyn, and me? Should I be mad about it? Should I be mad you've said you're dating Collyn? Should I be happy you've said you're dating him? I'm sorry that I seem 'less than happy' that you've told your family you're dating Collyn but screwing me here." Parker snaps and just stares Elli down.
Elli's eyes dart over Parker's face. He never snaps on her, not like this. He was fine moments ago but now he's upset, he's pissed and Elli wishes she could just go back and not tell him. She knew it'd happen. She knew Parker would think she chose Collyn over him just because of their benefits and now Parker's hurt. But, does that really give Parker any right to snap on her? Just for asking if he were mad about it?
"Um..." Elli stutters, Parker's eyes not losing their annoyance. "I-I didn't...I just, what's your problem?" Elli finally gets out, her voice drenched in disbelief.
"Nothing." Parker huffs. "Nothing, forget it."
"Parker." Elli raises her voice slightly. "Why do you care so much?"
"I don't!" Parker yells, his hands flying out in front of him. "But you asking me if I'm pissed, pisses me off and--" Parker's jaw clenches as he stares Elli down.
It's jealousy. He knows it is. There's no denying that that's what's eating at his stomach and Parker hates it. He's not a jealous person and the last person he ever thought he'd be jealous of is Collyn. They've been friends their entire lives and Parker has never had a reason to be jealous but when it comes to Elli, he is. It's something he can't explain but he's so damn jealous that it's making him snap despite him knowing Elli never had bad intentions. Elli never has bad intentions when it comes to people. And Parker knows that so even when his face is turning red and his eyes are screaming with anger, he keeps his mouth shut. He holds back the words he would say if he didn't care about Elli because he doesn't mean them. The secret was Elli's idea, not Parker's but Parker agreed. But, that's a low blow and he's not going there because he doesn't mean it.
"I'm going to my room." Parker says, walking past Elli.
"Parker!" Elli grabs his wrist but Parker pulls it out of her grip. "What were you gonna say?"
"Elli." Parker's voice is taut, not threatening but scolding. "Leave me the fuck alone." He doesn't yell, it's just flat but enough to tell Elli to leave him alone and she does.
Parker walks off and the sound of his door clicking shut, not slamming, makes her heart sink. He was fine. It doesn't make any sense as to why he suddenly felt like he needed to snap. He tells Elli that it's because she asked if he was mad but she's not stupid. That's not what it is, not with the way he phrased it. So, now, Elli is stuck feeling guilty and questioning if maybe she should have just said Parker. It seems no matter which choice she could have made, it would have eventually changed things for her and Parker. At least, that's what she thinks.
It's in the back of her head that this fight, this fight over her lying about Collyn, is going to cause him to back out. It shouldn't bother her as much as it does but it does. Elli loves everything about them. She loves that she can come home after a long day and curl up with Parker and sleep with him. Or when they've both had a day or they're both just in the mood, they have each other. They're right there and they're friends. That's what makes it so much fun. That's what makes the sex and the making out and foreplay fun. They're friends first so it's not awkward or nerve-wracking. It's them, giggling and being themselves. It's everything Elli could ask for and now she's terrified she'll lose it all over something so seemingly so small. But, there's nothing she can do about it now. It's out in the open and all she can do is wait for Parker to calm down so they can talk it out. So, she shuts everything off in the living room and kitchen and heads to her room.
As Elli sits on the edge of her bed, she takes notice in the silence. Parker isn't playing any music. No computer, no guitar or keyboard, no drum pad, no turntable. Just, silence. It's beyond unsettling and guilt just chews at her veins. However, she can't just sit on the edge of her bed and wait for Parker. It's not going to do her any good just to wait for him so, she moves to her closet and takes a seat on the floor, pulling out a few shoe boxes that contain polaroids she's never hung up.
The first few she finds are ones she took when Collyn introduced her to Parker for the first time. They'd all gathered at a Starbucks right off campus before the school year had started. Elli and Parker clicked immediately and they ended up in the Starbucks for hours, all three talking as if they'd all been friends since birth. The pictures even express it.
Parker's laughing, nearly choking on the straw of one of the iced drinks and Collyn's looking at Parker as if he's lost his mind. The two together are a force and Elli can't help but smile. They're all friends but she admires Parker and Collyn's friendship.
Elli continues to look through pictures, finding some more of Collyn from years prior. They weren't anything too special, mostly just him nearly falling on a skateboard a few times and focusing on a sculpture but Elli likes them, nonetheless. There's one she finds of him with his family at his first art exposition for school. Elli has more from that day but nearly all of them were taken with her old Canon and were developed and printed in multiple sizes for his family but the polaroids are cool. So, Elli sets them aside, deciding she could give them over to Collyn, knowing he's trying to put together something special for his mom for Christmas and maybe he could use the pictures.
Box by box, Elli sorts through pictures, figuring which ones she wants to give away for Christmas and which ones she wants to rotate out around her room. Nearly three hours have passed by the time she's on the fifth box and a knock brings her back to reality.
"Elli?" Parker's voice is quiet and gentle, even slightly shy as he opens the door just enough to peak his head in.
Elli looks over and gives a single nod, the ache and guilt she'd been able to ignore coming back like a flood of water after a dam breaks. "Hey." She matches his tone.
"Can I come in?" Parker asks.
"Yeah." Elli looks away and Parker lets himself in, closing the door behind him.
He walks over to her bed, picking up a box of photos to take a seat. "What're you doin'?"
"Sorting pictures." Elli answers flatly.
Parker looks from the pictures to her, her back facing him and her pale fingers sorting through the photos. "I'm sorry." Parker says, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. "I shouldn't have snapped on you like that, didn't deserve it." Parker says and Elli looks over her shoulder, her eyes meeting his.
"Why'd you get so mad?" Elli asks, resting the small stack of photos on the floor.
Parker shrugs. "I like," He motions his finger between the two of them. "Us, don't want it to change, like you said. But, uh," Parker sucks in a breath. "It was just a blow to my ego, I think." Parker chuckles awkwardly, one eye closing with the scrunch of his face.
"Because we keep this thing," Elli mimicks Parker's gesture between them. "Between us but I openly said I was dating Collyn."
Parker nods. "Yeah," Parker licks his lips and lets the word hang in the air.
There's more to be said but he doesn't know how to say it or what to say or even if he should. His mind is clouded and he's going to convince himself that his ego has been bruised and that's as deep as the cut goes.
"I'm so sorry, though. Honest, it's fine, I don't care." Parker says.
Elli nods. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
Parker just shakes his head. "Nah, don't be. Didn't have a reason to."
"Still, should have told you and Collyn, for the record."
"Yeah," Parker laughs. "Collyn you should have asked first, but definitely told sooner."
"Hindsight." Elli chuckles.
"Mhm," Parker hums, running a hand through his hair. "We good?"
"Always." Elli says, getting to her knees and moving towards Parker before wrapping her arms around his neck for a hug. Parker's arms wrap around her, squeezing her slightly and the jealous gnawing and slimy guilt disappear from both of their veins.
"So," Parker pulls away. "What's got you going through the photos?" Parker grabs the box from beside him.
"Oh," Elli says. "Ya know, that time of year I gather pictures for everyone. Collyn wants to make his mom something so I found some he might wanna use."
"Want me to drop them off tomorrow? I get off early and you've got your interview, ya?"
"Yeah, that'd be great." Elli smiles of relief. "I don't know what time I'll be done and if I'm stopping to get decorations, ya know?"
"I'll stop on my way home, which ones?"
Elli pulls out a smaller box with around thirty photos. "This one." She hands it over. "Should be plenty for him if he wants to use them."
"I'll give 'em to him." Parker promises with a gentle smile. "Got any for me?" Parker's words are sarcastic but that doesn't stop Elli from grabbing another box. Parker rolls his eyes as the smile widens. "I was kiddin', darlin'."
"I know." Elli huffs. "But look what I found." Elli beams, pulling out a picture and handing it to Parker.
He takes the picture from Elli and the wide smile softens to one of nostalgia. It's him reading a comic book in the middle of Elli's favorite comic shop. It was the first day they hung out together, just the two of them without any other friends. Collyn had bailed last minute which lead Elli and Parker to themselves. It was Parker who mentioned wanting to grab a few new comics and Elli jumped at the opportunity.
Their friendship bloomed from that exact moment and they spent the entire day in that shop, discussing DC vs Marvel, having mutual respect for both but still having a preference. And the picture Elli had taken, it was so simple and she just couldn't help it. He was reading a Spider-Man comic and he just looked to be in his own little world for a minute, peaceful and beautiful. Turns out, that's just Parker when he's into something he loves but that picture always remained one of Elli's favorite, just in private.
"Can't believe you've kept this." Parker chuckles, handing it back. "'S been years."
"I know." Elli laughs with him. "But that's why. It's what started everything." Elli shrugs a shoulder and a soft blush starts to creep onto her face. "It's one of my favorite days."
A wonderful sense of contentment and warmth consumes Parker with Elli's words. The day in the comic shop is one of his favorites, too. He just never knew it meant the same to Elli. They get each other in ways other people don't and sharing their favorite days, that's just something else other people don't get but they do. It's the simple days with each other that mean the most.
"Mine, too." Parker says, voice just above a whisper as his eyes meet Elli's, gentle and sweet while Elli's cheeks are a delicate shade of rose. Parker's heart is racing but not thundering, just racing and there's an unexplainable feeling coursing through his veins with his stare on Elli. "Uh," Parker clears his throat. "Well, I'm gonna head to the shower and bed. Gonna be up awhile?"
"Nah, probably head to bed now and shower in the morning, pretty tired." Elli says with a cornered smile, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Right," Parker's hands rest on his knees as he pushes up to stand up. "I'll see you in the morning." Parker leans down and presses a soft kiss to Elli's forehead, her eyes closing in response.
"Goodnight, Parker." Elli says as Parker heads for the door.
"Goodnight, Elli." Parker chuckles, closing the door behind him as he exits.
-------
The next day comes around and Parker finds himself in Collyn's kitchen as Collyn goes through the box of photos Elli sent over. The day has been like every other. Parker made eggs and french toast for him and Elli while she made the coffee and they proceded like they'd never fought the night before. It was never brought up and all-in-all, Parker's been relieved but as he stands in Collyn's kitchen, drinking a bottle of beer, he's worried that'll be brought up. After a day of working, he doesn't really want the gnawing to start again. But that's just his luck, isn't it?
"So," Collyn puts the lid back on the box once he's done looking over the pictures. "You and Elli alright?"
"Yeah, why?" Parker asks, taking a sip from his beer.
"Texted me and said you fought last night." Collyn quips, eyeing Parker.
A sigh falls from Parker's lips as he hangs his head. The gnawing comes back but this time, in the form of guilt and regret. He never should have snapped on her and he's been stuck thinking about it on and off. Parker swears he'll make it up to her for overreacting but that doesn't exactly mean he wants to talk about it. He just wishes the whole thing never happened.
"Yeah..." Parker says.
"Yeah, so, you wanna talk about it?" Collyn asks with concern.
Parker just shrugs. "Nah, not really."
"She said it's because she told her family she was dating me, that true?" Collyn pushes.
It's just odd for Elli and Parker to fight. He wants to make sure Parker is okay and that they did manage to smooth things over. Collyn's with Elli on this one, it was out of character for Parker to get mad so he needs to make sure there's nothing else going on.
Parker almost groans at the question. He can't control Elli and Elli can tell Collyn about their fight. It's her life, too but he wishes more than anything she wouldn't have. Parker hates lectures from Collyn and he can feel one coming.
"Yeah."
"Why's it matter to you?" Collyn asks with genuine curiosity.
"It doesn't, mate." Parker takes another sip of his beer.
Collyn shakes his head and he knows if he wants Parker to just admit what everyone besides Parker and Elli seems to know, he has to just cut to the chase. "Are you sure? Doesn't have anything to do the hickey on your neck, does it?"
"What?" Parker's eyes widen as his hand goes to his neck, the bruise Elli left from a few days before still a pretty shade of red and purple. "No, why would it?" Parker tugs the top of his hoodie up to try and get better coverage.
Collyn puts his hands up in defense. "Just making sure." Collyn brushes it off as a light-hearted question. "Nothing's going on between the two of you?"
Parker hates lying to Collyn but it's his and Elli's deal. Parker isn't even going to dare to break it. "Nothing. We're friends, that's it." Parker's tone remains calm and collected. "Anything going on with you two?" Parker tosses the question back, knowing the answer but figuring if Collyn can ask, so can he.
"Nah." Collyn shakes his head, taking a drink from his own beer.
"Why're you so okay with her saying she's datin' you then?"It's a genuine question that leaves Parker's lips.
Collyn pushes for answers but Parker can do the same. There's something telling Parker there's more to why Collyn seemed to just roll with it. He's not usually someone who just rolls with whatever punch is thrown his way and since the conversation is being brought up, Parker is taking his chance to ask.
"It's Elli." Collyn says.
Parker's eyes widen slightly as he pauses, looking at his best friend and it's like he's just been hit by a semi. "Wait." Parker watches as Collyn fiddles with the end of the beer bottle. "Do you like her?"
Collyn meets Parker's stare, cheeks a pale pink. "It's Elli, mate."