Jane stumbled back into the school, dazed and confused, tears now freely flowing down her face. She could honestly say she'd never felt more betrayed in her life. After all she'd been through, Calvin was always the one person she thought she'd be able to trust, but now any kind of trust she had for him had shattered. Now it all made sense, why he'd been ignoring her all that time, why he didn't act the least bit surprised when Robert had made his PDA.
Jane felt hands wrap around her wrist, and she stopped dead in her tracks. She sniffled, looking back into the eyes of Calvin. She squinted at him, clenching her jaw and trying to wriggle out of his tight hold.
"Let me go." Jane managed, on the verge of sobbing.
This was all to much for her. All of this new information rushing into her clouded head, and strong feelings piercing through her heart.
"Jane...please. Just let me explain." Calvin tried, an exasperated and sorry look on his face.
Jane looked deep into his eyes, looking for any sign of remorse. And while there was plenty to be found, she didn't believe she could forgive him quite yet.
Shaking his hand off her wrist, she shook her head and tried to wipe the tears off her face only to be flooded by new ones.
"Save it." She told him before walking off.
Jane didn't wanna go back to school. At this point, she was a total wreck and her whole train of thought was shattered. It'd be pointless for her to return to school if she couldn't focus.
Making her way off the campus, she looked behind her to see if anyone was following her, only to discover she was alone. Jane quickly quickened her pace until she was running away from the hellhole she knew as school. Besides the many secret spots Jane and Robert had developed, Jane always had many others with Maggie. And since going to one of Robert's would only bring back memories she didn't care to relive at the moment, she decided to go to a different one.
Getting as far away from the campus as possible, Jane made her way to the lonesome patch of trees and forest she'd discovered a while back with Maggie. They'd found many places to hide out, but this one by far had to be her favorite. She could always...think better there somehow.
Every step she took felt ten times heavier than it usually did but no sooner than later, Jane had reached the spot. She slowed down, panting a bit before throwing her back to the side and slumping down a tree. Sobs grew from deep, down inside her and before she knew it, Jane was craddling her head in her hands.
How had things made a turn for the bad so quickly? Everything had escalated so fast Jane wasn't even sure she fully grasped what was going on. She would have to end things with Robert, quickly and sternly so he didn't pry and ask questions that would make her crack, so that he could pursue his dreams. It was the right thing to do, she kept telling herself, but the more she thought about it, the more the alternative option stuck out. Robert was by far the best thing God himself had brought into her life, was being selfish and keeping him to herself so horrible? Jane hurridly dismissed that thought and sighed.
She had stopped crying awhile back and she currently sat under the glooming tree, which gave her a temporary home. The light, spring air whipped around her, causing her hair to wrap around her wet face. Jane smiled slightly as two little squirrels were in pursuit, as soon as one caught up to the other, it would run away a few inches and then look back, waiting for the other to catch up so the cycle could be repeated. The squirrel which Jane assumed was the female, soon grew tired of the game and this time when he caught up to her the two quickly twirled up a tree together and vanished from her sight.
Everything went back to calm once they were gone, the leaves of the trees moved in sync with the soft patting of her hair against her face. The sun was peeking at her from underneath it's fortress of clouds and the grass beneath her swayed in uniform. All her surroundings, Jane realized, were at peace except for her.
It had been less than ten minutes when Jane heard the first rowdy car full of teenagers pass and she knew school was out. She also knew what lied ahead of her and what she had to do.
Standing up, Jane brushed off her bum and straighted out her dress before starting back towards the school. Soon, the road became filled with cars and buses of all sorts and the sidewalks overflowed with chattering students.
As Jane continued, she heard people calling her name in greeting but it all sounded so distant for some reason. The best she could muster was a small smile at the moment as she continued walking.
Soon she reached Lincoln and her eyes nervously searched the parking lot, half hoping she wouldn't find Robert so she could hold this off another day but there he was. Beautiful, brilliant and irresistible. Jane couldn't help but get a bit teary eyed as she walked forward, crossing the parking lot to the vacant area. Her eyes met Robert's as she did so and she saw his face light up with excitement, Jane gave him a quick nod in the direction she was going so he'd follow.
Jane stopped abruptly, feeling like her feet suddenly bore boulders, as she reached the more secluded area behind the school. Her eyes closed and she let out a deep breath as she felt Robert's arms wrap around her waist from behind. I can't do this, I can't do this, she yelled to herself.
"Hey beautiful," He smiled.
Just as Robert leaned down to kiss Jane she dodged out of his grasp and stood against the wall, clutching herself. Automatically his face twisted in confusion and a bit of hurt, walking back up to her, he looked down.
"Is everything okay?" Robert asked, raising an eyebrow.
Jane quickly shook her head, she wanted to speak but words were suprisingly difficult to manage at the moment.
"What's wrong?" He questioned.
She stared past Robert, focusing on the tree that loomed behind him, trying to spark some sort of courage. But none presented itself.
"Jane?" He quickly rested his hand on her shoulders and bent down a bit looking into her eyes. "Jane, what is it?"
Jane suddenly snapped back into reality and shook Robert's hands off her, taking a step back.
"I-I can't do this anymore, Robert." She barely managed.
"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" He turned towards her but didn't step forward.
"Us, me and you, this. For christ's sake we have to go behind the school to have a decent conversation. It isn't normal and it isn't the way things are supposed to be."
Jane watched as Robert's eyes slowly faltered to the ground and he shook his head.
"Don't start this again, Jane. I'm fully ready and wanting to not have to be with you this way, it's you who's so terrified of what people have to say. If it isn't the way things are supposed to be, let's make them the way they're supposed to be." At this he stepped forwards and clutched her hands but Jane pulled away angrily.
"Stop touching me, ju-just stay away from me. I don't want to do this anymore." A single tear dripped from Jane's eye as she looked up at him.
His hurt was clearly read on his face but he tried playing it off, resting his hands coolly in his pockets.
"Why are you being like this all of a sudden?" He asked, locking eyes with Jane. "You know the way I feel about you, or at least you should. I'd be willing to do anything that would make you feel better."
"What would make me feel better is if we just...ending things." Jane's voice cracked on the last words and she couldn't meet his gaze anymore.
There was a silence between the two that must've lasted years, Jane thought to herself. She felt his sapphire eyes drill into her head until she finally released a few more tears. This was killing Jane, literally tearing her apart. Saying all these things that really weren't even true just so she wouldn't feel horrible later. Finally, Robert opened his mouth and softly started.
"Jane, please I ju-"
"Robert, I don't want you anymore. Is that really so hard for you to get through that thick skull of yours?" Jane bit her lip as hard as she ever heard before any other lies she couldn't repair slipped out. She didn't even try to control the tears that streamed down her face now, the damage had been done and Jane honestly didn't know how she did it. She knew, deep down, this was the only way Robert would leave her alone, forever.
Jane looked up at Robert solemnly and saw as his eyes welled up, but he didn't allow one tear to fall. He looked back into her eyes for awhile before nodding and rolling his tongue against the inside of his lip, chuckling sadly to himself and shaking his head.
"You did all these things to make me fall in love with you and now you just up and don't want me? Real nice, Jane. But whatever, we're done. I'm tired of all this bullshit and good luck finding anyone to love you when you don't even have a heart for them to steal." This was the last thing he said before turning quickly on his heels and walking away.
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I haven't updated in a year and a half almost, I think? I am so so so so so sorry to everyone who was reading and who I let down but life got in the way of things and I couldn't shake it. I think I will be able to update more now, however. So if you're still interested please give me so constructive criticism, share the story with friend, vote and comment!!! I need my confidence back up. Anyways, I hope this chapter was alright, I'll try to get the next chapter up sometime next week. xo