Nathan
I was planning to talk to James after we all walked out of Dr Bailey's room. But I noticed he wasn't feeling good so I decided to talk to him later. He, of course, had decided to go with the electroconvulsive therapy for Jessie, and today was the day we were all waiting for in anticipation. Today was the day of Jessie's therapy. Jessie had been refusing to see or talk to any of us except her doctor and her father, which was driving me nuts. But I kept calming myself down by telling myself that I can talk to her after the therapy, after she's been recovered. So instead I searched every nook for James to talk to him.
I finally found him sitting on a bench in the hospital cafeteria, his head between his hands as he was staring at the ground.
"James!" I mumbled, "can we talk?"
James looked up from where he was sitting and stared at me for while before saying, "Sure!"
I sighed audibly and sat down beside him, for a little while there was an awkward silence as we were both staring at the white wall opposite to us and we were both deep in thought, I was playing with the sleeve of my shirt as James was thinking hard, probably of his daughter.
"I don't know what to say James...." I started, after clearing my throat, "I can't undo what I have done to Jessie, so I'm sure it'll be useless to apologize or even bend on my knees." James was still looking at the wall, without showing any emotions, I didn't know if I should take that as bad sign or not, but I continued anyways. "But I'm deeply in love with Jessie, and I'll do anything for her. I didn't want you to find out this way James, I swear! I didn't want any of you to find out this way, I was figuring out a way to solve this problem. But... I never meant for this to happen. I really hope you understand."
James was still sitting there motionless, without staring at me. I slowly got on my knees in front of him and the tears came back. "Please forgive me James." James grabbed my shoulders and gently helped me stand up.
"You haven't done anything wrong, it's her own fault, she loved too deeply," James said, a sad smile playing on his lips, "there's no need to apologize, everybody makes mistakes, and as you mentioned yourself; you didn't mean any harm to my daughter, so how can I be mad at you or not forgive you. The approach was wrong, but the intention was good. I can understand why Rachel has thought about such plan, Jessie is so much like her mother. She has a weak heart and personality."
"Still..." I mumbled, clenching my hands into a tight fist as more tears ran down my cheeks, "that doesn't mean I had to do what I did, I could disagree with Rachel."
"True. But what's done is done, we can't turn back time. Instead we need to focus on the present, son." James said and smiled sadly at me.
"I... I hope Jessie will think like you." I blurted out.
"She still doesn't want to see you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No." I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"What about Rachel and Dave?" James asked, his voice getting weak at the end.
"She has only agreed to talk to Dave." I admitted, biting my lower lip and looking away from James.
"I will try and talk to her, but I can't promise anything," he said and slowly stood up.
"Thank you," I mumbled, "for everything."
"I will talk to her after her therapy." he said and patted my shoulder before leaving me to myself. I watched James walking groggily away from me.
My heart did that weird, painful fluttering I had experienced before. I have heard of heartache many times, especially from my friends. I have also heard of heartbreaks, the difference between these two words is simple. You get a heartache when you're going through a tough time or maybe you're in love. You chose to have a heartache, even if not, you're fully responsible for it.
A heartbreak on the other hand is the doing of somebody else, especially of someone you love and trust. Hence you can control a heartache but not a heartbreak.
But why do I feel like I'm experiencing both? Why do I feel like someone has ripped my chest open and is cutting my heart into a million pieces? Is this what true love is? Is this what they call the pain of love? I was hurt by Holly too, but I eventually got over it, this one feels different. This pain is getting stronger than me.Jessie doesn't want to see me, she hates me. Oh god! What do I do? I can live without her, but life would have no meaning then.
I stopped in my tracks when I heard Rachel's crying voice. I looked up and saw Rachel in Dave's arms, crying like a baby. My best friend was hugging her tight, he pecked her hair a few times, and was whispering what I assume were soothing and comforting words.
"It's scary!" I heard Rachel mumble.
"I know. But it will help her get better." Dave said, as he cupped her face and stared at her.
"I bet she's hurting." Rachel sobbed and stared back at Dave.
"Jessie is stronger than you think, she'll be okay. I promise." Dave smiled sadly at Rach and pulled her into another hug.
Rachel sobbed for a while until she calmed down and her tears dried. I felt myself smile at them. The old me would have been too selfish to admit those two look good together, but...Jessie changed me. Jessie changed everything.
Or maybe I haven't changed at all, but Jessie brought out the best in me. Either way I'm glad I've come to the conclusion that a calm, wise, kind guy as Dave is perfect for my sister. I hoped Rachel realizes this soon. Just when I was about to walk towards them somebody pushed me against the wall, I gasped and opened my eyes to see the furious face of none other than Harry Hikings.
"What have you done to my sister?!" He roared as his shaking hands grabbed the collar of my shirt tighter.
"What...are.. you... talking about?" I moaned, grabbing his hands with difficulty and pushing him away.
I was on my knees, panting, when Harry was about to throw a punch at me, Rach and Dave ran to me and helped me stand up while an older version of Harry grabbed Harry's raised arm, "Son! This is not the time, or place or way for discussions and arguments."
"I warned Jessie to not trust you!" Harry said, ignoring his father, "I knew you had something up your sleeves!"
"What's going on?" James's voice interrupted all of us. He stared at me then at Harry, he narrowed his eyes in confusion.
"Mr. King! I finally found you!" Harry's father said and extended his hand for James to shake.
James's eyes widened for a second before he recovered and shook his hand, "Mr Hikings! It's a pleasure to meet you again after all these years! I have been looking for you also," James smiled and looked at Harry, "I assume this is Gabriella's son."
"Yes. This is Harry," Mr Hikings said, then looked at his son, "Harry, this gentleman is James King, Jessica's father."
And that is when it hit me, Harry is Jessie's brother. This is why the name 'Hikings' seemed very familiar to me. I stared at Harry's father then back at James, they were both smiling and seemed happy to see each other, they also both had the same sad look in their eyes, they were so engrossed in talking with each other as if only the two of them could understand each other. As if only the two of them could understand what each of them has lost in their lives.
I stared at Harry who was still glaring at me, I sighed and walked towards him, extending my hand "You're my girl's brother, I didn't know that. So... I think we need a fresh start."
Harry gritted his teeth, and looked at my hand. For a second I thought he would not take it, "You're not my sister's anything"
I raised an eyebrow as we shook hands, "I think that's for Jessie to decide." I replied as we both took a step back.
"I think Jessie agrees too!" Harry smirked. I fisted my hands and took a sharp breath, "I'm sorry buddy, but you're not wanted by her anymore...as far as I know."
"She means the world to me." I whispered.
"Then you shouldn't have lied to her." He said, for a second I saw pity and respect in his eyes but it soon disappeared.
"I wanted to fix things..." I mumbled and swallowed the lump in my throat.
"So much for trying to fix everything." Harry said sarcastically.
"I love her." I admitted as a few teardrops ran down my cheeks. Harry sighed and ran his hands through his short, blond-ash hair. His face was crimson red, but he calmed down soon enough.
"It's fine." Harry said, "What's done is done. The important part is we learnt our lessons," He stared at Rachel for a while then back at me, "The important part is we never do the same mistakes again, but even more important than all we fell in love. The greatest lesson anyone can learn is to love, after all we're all here in this world for the purpose of learning to love."
"True." I mumbled and wiped my cheeks. "I never knew you're this wise, also... I never knew you're Jessie's brother. I'm sorry Harry."
"Uh... it's fine." Harry smiled and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm sorry too, for trying to kill you earlier."
"Well, I'm a brother too, I would have done the same thing if Rachel was in Jessie's place." I said and shrugged.
"Yeah, you would." He smirked and folded his arms across his chest.
"Umm.. is this why you were trying to date every single girl in Louisville?" Rachel blurted out, "to find your sister?"
"You could say that, yes." Harry said. "But I dated only a few. And I didn't try to date EVERY girl Rach, I tried to get to know them so that I can find my sister."
"Why would you want to find a sibling you haven't met before? Didn't you feel sad or angry at all, that you have a sister?" Rachel asked, confusion and curiosity evident on her face.
Harry smiled genuinely as if he expected Rach to ask these questions, "I wanted to find her. I have no idea why, maybe I felt like we needed each other. Especially when I knew that she's schizophrenic and that our mother is gone... Plus my father wanted to find James, to apologize."
"Why?" Rachel asked, narrowing her eyes.
Harry's smile disappeared and was replaced with a frown, " My father felt responsible for mom's death."
"Why?" Rachel asked again. I glared at her to shut up but she just shrugged.
"My father argued with her the day she died. He was mad at her. Mad that she hasn't told him about her marriage. He had no idea mom was sick."
"Is.. umm... Jessie finished with her therapy?" Dave smiled, I smiled at him in appreciation for changing the subject, we both knew that unless the subject changed, Rach was definitely going to make Harry feel even more uncomfortable. Dave smiled back at me, just then the door to Jessie's room opened and Dr. Bailey came out of the room with two nurses.