Ugh, I must be crazy.
I mean, I really think I am. I just made Chou Tzuyu my girlfriend.
And the fact that I kind of forced her? That shit hurts my pride, oh my gosh. It should be her asking me to be her girlfriend, not the other way around! Girls make their move to have me, not the other fucking way around! I think I sounded desperate yesterday. Argh, the amount of embarrassment that I feel right now is really hurting my pride dammit.
On the other hand, I'm actually kind of happy. I don't know why, but I guess I really am crazy, that's why.
Then suddenly, my hands balled into a fist. I felt my anger rising up as I remembered how that cheater Jungkook pulled Chou Tzuyu into a hug. That asshole. He's using Chou Tzuyu to hide his fucking secret? Fuck him.
Glancing at the clock, I realized that it was too early to be thinking about these things. I inhaled deeply to calm myself down. It's not even four yet. Damn, what am I doing with my life?
I sat up from my bed and grabbed my phone on the nightstand. I noticed that a lot of notifications kept on showing. Ah, must be from the fangirls, I thought while chuckling. Glad I put my phone on silent mode. I opened my phone to remove all notifications and sighed at a realization. Oh.
Fangirls don't amuse me anymore.
Damn, what changed me? Or maybe. . . who?
Chou Tzuyu?
Nope, can't be.
I let my body fall right back onto the bed and browsed my phone. I need to do something to tire me out so that I can sleep even if just for a second. If I don't sleep right now, then I'll be damned later at school. As much as I would like to sleep on my classes, I can't have the teachers scolding me for that, right? Right.
While browsing my contacts, I noticed that Mark's number is here. But I don't remember asking for his number though?
I scrunched my face up. "Sucks that I had his number first before Tzuyu's," I mumbled grudgingly.
I didn't think twice and immediately dialled him. After a few rings, he finally picked up. Now I kinda feel bad because he's probably sleeping before I called.
"Hello, Jackson?" Mark mumbled, obviously sleepy. But who the heck is Jackson? Last time I checked my name is Minatozaki Sana, no trace of Jackson on it, so who is— Oh.
Holding in my laughter, my lips formed into a smirk. Too bad he couldn't see it. "Hey Mark, why do I have your number?" I asked.
I heard a sudden rustling of sheets, causing me to snort. Bet he wasn't expecting to hear my voice. "O–oh, Sana?" I could tell that his voice is laced with shock and a bit of embarassment. He's probably fully awake now. Great job, Sana.
The smirk never left my face. "What's up, Mark," I said, emphasizing his name.
"Sana, hey. I–I thought you were—" He cut himself off with a cough. "Anyways, I took your phone yesterday when you were crying and saved my number there. You didn't notice it?"
I winced at the memory of what happened yesterday. "You really just had to remind me of that, asshole," I told him, slightly annoyed. I'll just tease him about Jackson later to get back at him.
He chuckled and I heard the rustling of his sheets again. What the heck is he with someone? "Why are you still awake, Sana? You ruined my sleep, I was really having a great dream back there," he told me in disappointment and groaned.
"Oops, sorry, my bad. Were you dreaming of someone?" I teased. Then I heard it again. The rustling of his sheets. "Are you with that someone right now? Or you really just can't stop moving on your bed?" I finally asked out of curiosity.
"I have a dog."
"Oh, cute."
"I know I'm cute, thanks tho, and just a reminder, I am gay, and so are you, Sana."
I scoffed in disbelief. "Ew, man," I answered in disgust.
"You should've said 'no hetero'." I could almost see him rolling his eyes. In return, I also rolled my eyes. Geez, I wasn't even talking about him, I was talking about the dog. "What the fuck?!" He suddenly yelled.
I had to put my phone away a bit before yelling back, "What?!"
"It's too fucking early, Sana. Too early. You better have a reason why you called at this fucking time!" He exclaimed. I snorted, mood swings much, eh?
"Chill, will you?" I sighed. "Sorry, I didn't really sleep," I mumbled. "But hey, it's not my fault that I saw your number here on my phone. You're an idiot for putting it—"
He cut me off with a laugh. "Oh, poor you, Sana."
My eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
"Wanna go on a walk right now?" He suddenly suggested.
I sat up on my bed. "Wait, are you crazy? As in right now?"
"Actually, no. Not right now. Go take a bath and wear whatever you should wear because we'll be heading to school after. Just send me your address and I'll go there. See you!" Before I could even respond, he already ended the call.
I mentally facepalmed. It's too early to be doing anything, but I also couldn't sleep. Sighing again, I sent him my address and immediately went to the bathroom to prepare.
A few minutes later, I was done preparing and went downstairs to make a cup of coffee. I drank it on the living room while casually scrolling through my phone.
4:25 A.M.
It's way too early to be functioning.
Then the doorbell rang continously, indicating that Mark the not so straight friend is already here.
I rushed toward the door and immediately opened the door. "Good morning to you, too, asshole," I greeted him with a glare. "Is it your first time using a doorbell or what?"
He grinned. "It's too early to be grumpy, grandma. Now let's go."
I was about to step out of the house but stopped when I remembered something. "Aren't we going to have breakfast first?"
"I got some in my car." He nodded toward his car that I just noticed now.
I went out of the house and made sure that it was locked. "You brought your car? I thought we're going for a walk? Meaning we have to use our feet, not wheels," I sarcastically said.
He ignored me and went straight inside his car.
"What a gentleman," I muttered in sarcasm. I opened the door of the passenger's seat. "You sure you're not going to do something bad?" I raised an eyebrow.
"I'm certain I like dicks, Sana," he deadpanned.
"Great," I said and went inside the car. "So, where are we going?" I immediately asked as I closed the door.
He started to drive and shrugged. "Somewhere peaceful, I don't know. In a place where we can see the sunrise, I guess," he answered.
Nodding, I looked outside the window. The surroundings look so calming, it suddenly made me want to go to bed. But I know I wouldn't be able to sleep, a certain girl is invading my mind right now and I can't get her out of my head. Chou Tzuyu just won't get out of my head.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Mark spoke, breaking my train of thoughts.
Silence engulfed us for a moment before I decided to break it. "Tzuyu. . . what do you think she's doing right now?" It slipped out of my mouth before I could even stop it.
Mark looked at me for a second before smiling. "You know, she's probably sleeping right now."
"Right," I told him, nodding. "So I'm just the only one who's having a sleepless night because of. . . whatever this is." I gestured toward my chest and let out a sigh as I let my hands fall onto my lap.
Mark stayed quiet after that.
I looked outside the window again and continued the questions inside my head. Isn't she supposed to be the one having a sleepless night because she's the one who likes me? Does she actually likes me? Why do I hate seeing her with that cheater Jungkook? Is it normal to feel this way?
What even is this feeling?
Why is my heart pounding everytime I think about her? Everytime I see her? Why do I feel hurt everytime she denies her feelings for me? Or if she ignores me? Or if I see her with someone else? Why am I even thinking about all of these?
Come to think of it, if she ever really likes me, then she's just one of my fangirls, as I like to call them. Now what's so special about Chou Tzuyu? What's with her that caused me to be like this?
"Don't overthink it, Sana," Mark's voice snapped me out of my thoughts as he glanced at me.
"I can't help it, Mark. I. . . I can't find reasons why I'm being like this. I can't find a reason, I need a reason—"
"No one needs those damn reasons anyway," he cut me off. He scoffed. "You don't need reasons. There doesn't have to be a reason."
"But why?"
"You'll understand me soon once you understand yourself."
"But how can I do that?"
"Acceptance. You have to accept whatever you're feeling. Can you do that?" He asked. I looked down and stayed silent. I heard him sigh before saying, "What's holding you back, Sana?"
I balled my hands into fists as I fought back my tears.
"We're here," Mark announced as he stopped the car.
I blinked backed my tears and slowly looked up. "Where are we?"
Shrugging, he removed his seatbelt and opened the door. "I don't know, I saw that it was an open area and thought that maybe we'll see the sun here." He went out of the car and was surprised when he opened the door for the backseat. My eyes widened when he carried a shiba inu in his arms.
I hurriedly removed my seatbelt and went out of the car. "He's been there the whole time?!" I asked in shock.
"She," he corrected. "And yes, you were too busy thinking that you didn't notice her."
I ran to his side and carefully took the tiny shiba inu from his arms. "Why didn't you tell me that your dog is a shiba inu?"
"Eh, I just thought you weren't interested."
"Aww," I cooed at the dog. "Where's the food, though? I'm kinda hungry right now."
He placed the food on top of the trunk before sitting beside it. "Here," he gestured at the food.
I gave him his dog before starting to munch on the bread. I watched as he placed his dog just right beside him. "I have a question," I stated as I stared at the sky.
"Shoot," he answered before taking a bite from his bread.
"How did you realize that you like Jackson?"
As I already expected, he choked and coughed violently. He started to hit his chest so I reached for the coffee and gave it to him. He drank from it but of course, bad move, he immediately spit it out and jumped down from the trunk before inhaling deeply.
"Shit!" He cursed. "That coffee was fucking hot! Were you trying to kill me?" He looked at me with wide eyes.
I rolled my eyes and sat on the trunk, reaching for my own coffee. This would be my second one for the day, woah. "I was just asking you a question, no need to actually choke and cough like that," I retorted before sipping coffee.
Ah, let me palpitate later. At least I wouldn't fall asleep on class.
"But still! I almost died!"
"Just answer my question."
He rubbed his temple and leaned on the trunk. "I don't know, it just hit me, okay?" He sighed. "I guess the day came where I don't see him as a friend anymore, but instead more than that, and I can't believe it took me two years to fucking realize it. Maybe because it was my first time liking a boy? No, it was actually my first time liking someone," he paused and scratched his head.
My eyebrows raised at the information. "What do you mean?"
"I always thought that I have to court a girl first before actually feeling something, do you get me? Like, I just have to pick a girl and then wait for the feelings to come. But no, I learned the hard way to know that that's not how it works," he finished answering. "Why did you ask me though? And— how the heck did you know that his name is Jackson?!" He looked at me in shock.
I snorted at his face. "It slipped from your mouth earlier, if you don't remember," I reminded him. I placed my food beside me and stared at my lap. "And I'm asking you, because I'm now actually considering the idea that I might actually like Tzuyu," I answered quietly.
He gasped sarcastically, catching my attention. "Really? Oh my, what a surprise!" He then rolled his eyes. "Psh, you like her. That's it, period."
"I need time to process things, idiot," I shot back before rolling my eyes, copying his actions.
"Process things?" He scoffed. "Seriously—"
"Oh look, the sun's starting to show itself," I cut him off.
We stayed silent for a few minutes to admire the beauty of the sun. My, what a beautiful sight. But nothing could ever compare to Chou Tzuyu. She's the most beautiful sight.
Ah shit, what did I just think about?
"Don't you think this is a sign?" Mark suddenly spoke.
"A sign?"
"The sun showing itself up. It's like telling you to show your feelings for Tzuyu." A smirk started to appear on his face.
Rolling my eyes, I smirked back. "But then, the sun hides itself again. Meaning, I just have to hide whatever this feeling is from her," I retorted, slightly weirded out that I'm actually admitting that I really have feelings for Chou Tzuyu.
He didn't lose his composure and his smirk just widened. "The moon comes out after the sun hides itself again. Meaning, there's a new feeling."
I lost my smirk, dumbfounded. "A new feeling?"
"Love, duh," he answered, now grinning.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Love? My ass. It's way too early for that thing. I don't even know what that is, ew," I stated and went down from the trunk.
"Oh, she'll teach you soon what love is. She'll show you, and then you'll feel it."
"Whatever, just stop your oh so wise words already." I leaned on the truck and thought about his words.
What if right now, Chou Tzuyu's with me, holding hands, as we watched the sunrise together? What if right now, we're sitting on top of her car's trunk, with my head on her shoulder, and her head on mine? Would she actually show me what love is?
"Your face is red," Mark pointed out. "Imagining something?" He teased.
I ignored what he said and took another sip of my coffee. "I have another question."
"Just make sure it won't make me react like earlier," he joked.
"If you really like Jackson, why don't you tell him? Show him?" I questioned as I stared at him.
He let out a breath. "Aside from not being sure that Jackson actually likes boys, I just don't know how my mom and dad would react to that."
I nodded in understanding. "Oh."
"Yeah," he breathed out. "Yeah," he repeated and looked at his watch. "5:30, woah, time sure flies fast," he mumbled.
Time.
If ever I do really like Chou Tzuyu, do I still got time? How fast can I make her like me back? I know that cheater Jungkook will still make her moves on my Chou Tzuyu, and I'm afraid she would fall for him again in no time, she loved him afterall.
I inhaled deeply, accepting the fact that I really like her. "We have to show them."
Mark raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"We have to make them ours. You have to get your Jackson, and I'll get my Tzuyu. We have to make our move," I told him with determination.
"Uh— Wow, okay," he said, slightly taken aback. Then he chuckled. "Finally admitting that you like her, eh? You're a possessive one, I see."
I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm just afraid. . . that I'll lose my chance. That I'll lose over that Jeon Jungkook. I'm pretty sure he'll hurt my Tzuyu again if she ever choose him."
He had a smug look on his face when I took a glance at him. "Wow, again. You sure you just like her?" He asked.
I gave him a look as if to say 'duh'. "Of course, nothing more."
A few moments of silence have passed again, before we heard Mark's dog bark so we both turned around. "Wanna go home now, buddy?" Mark asked his dog as he pat its head.
The dog licked his hand and barked again.
"Alright then," he declared and picked his dog up. "I'll just drop my dog back to my house, and then we can go to school after that," he told me.
"Yeah, sure," I replied and grabbed our trash before going inside his car.
We both buckled our seatbelt and he started to drive.
Now what am I going to do with the fact that I like Chou Tzuyu? Yes, I finally admit, I like her, but now what? What's going to change after that? I know that I made her my girlfriend so that cheater Jungkook would avoid her because what's mine is mine. I'll rub it in his face, make him regret that he lost her. But would Chou Tzuyu even take it seriously? The fact that we're girlfriends now?
Dammit, damn this brain for thinking so much.
Burying my face in my hands, I groaned. "Ah, fuck! It should be her feeling whatever this is, not me! She likes me, or that's what my friends told me, but it's like everything backfired then poof! I like her now!" I ranted.
He suddenly laughed out loud, startling me and his dog. "Your friends are cool, hope I could be friends with them soon."
"You'll receive a kick from Chaeyoung first and probably a punch from Jihyo before that happens. I'm certain they hate you because of what you did before," I told him as I leaned back and tried to get comfortable.
He winced and gulped. "Too bad, then."
I stared outside the window and sighed at the feeling. Fuck, I wanna see Chou Tzuyu right now.
Ah, fuck. I also want to hug her.
I balled my hand into a fist. My fist wants to fucking kiss that cheater Jungkook's face for hugging my Chou Tzuyu.
Then my mind drifted off to the memory of our accidental kiss.
"Oh shit!" I suddenly exclaimed, startling Mark and causing him to press the brake pedal, hard.
He inhaled deeply before looking at me. "What was that for?!" He placed a hand on his chest and exhaled. "Glad we stopped right in front of our house." He shook his head and unbuckled his seatbelt.
"Say thank you, then," was what came out of my mouth instead of sorry. I laughed softly.
He took his dog out from the backseat and carried it like a baby toward his house. He went back after a few minutes and started the car right away.
"Sorry, man," I apologized. "Wanna hear something funny?"
He glanced at me for a second before nodding.
"Okay. So yesterday, when I was crying and all that shit. Chou Tzuyu came, right? And you made me go to her." I rolled my eyes. "Did you hear what we were talking about?"
He shook his head. "Nah, I was too busy texting Jackson."
I raised my eyebrows, impressed that he got Jackson's number and I don't have Chou Tzuyu's. "Well, I kind of forced her to be my girlfriend."
The car suddenly swerved, scaring the shit outta me. "Sorry, but that's— uhm, I don't know what to say."
I looked at him only to see that he was holding in his laughter. "Fuck you."
He let out his laugh and clutched on the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. Ah shit, we're going to die.
I held on tightly on my seatbelt before arriving on school, surprisingly unharmed.
We went out of the car and rolled our eyes when we saw that a lot of students were staring at us. "Bet they are thinking that there's something between us," I told him when we started to walk toward the gates.
He grimaced. "I know, disgusting."
I scoffed. "Tell me about it."
I looked at my watch and was surprised to see that it was already 6:45 A.M. What the actual fuck time is so fast.
My friends must be already here by now. Mark and I walked as we looked around, he's probably also looking for his friends.
As I turned around, I saw her, Chou Tzuyu, already staring at me. Our eyes locked and my heart started to beat faster. I gasped softly, looked down, and fought back a smile. Before I knew it, I was already running toward her. I threw myself at her for a hug, and was surprised when she caught me. I let out the smile that I've been fighting back.
Oh my, I definitely like her.
I buried my face on her neck and inhaled her scent.
Fuck the plan, I'm still going to make her fall for me.
Then I tightened the hug.
But I'm never going to dump her.
———
a/n: Feel free to kick me in the face.
I'm sorry that it took me way too long to make this chapter. I'm distracted and was looking for an inspiration. I actually had to read the whole story so that I can finally start writing this and ugh! Imagine the cringe while I was reading, lmao.
And also, wtf. This book is like 1 year old already and I'm not even halfway done, lol.
p.s. sa mga pupunta sa concert ng TWICE dyan oh, baka naman. maawa kayo saken ilibre nyo 'ko :< de charot syempre alam ko naman na na hindi ako makakapunta pero sa kasamaang palad, umaasa pa rin ako. sa mga pupunta dyan, pakisigaw naman na mahal na mahal ko sila lalo na si Mina q ugh HAHAHAHA. tas asarin niyo na rin si Sana ng taxi taxi na yon. pabalikin niyo rin sila agad please :< mag-iipon na talaga 'ko promise.
pakisigaw na rin pala na "SATZU LANG MGA HANGAL!" we need more SaTzu moments. ayon, sa mga gagawa niyan paki-videohan na lang tas send niyo saken para kunware kasama ako sa concert.
putek 'di ko kaya parang sisimulan ko na ata umiyak ngayon pa lang :<
Please bear with meeee. :)