Chapter 21
When I arrived home after I had properly put Trinity to bed, Mark was gone. He did not leave a note or send me a text message as he would usually do. Neither Javier nor Damien called me either. I thought about calling them first, but then I chocked and could not think of what I would say. Needless to say, things carried on just the same for the rest of the week. Mark remained locked in his bedroom whenever I woke up and when I came home from, he would already be gone. I did not see Damien nor Javier either. Whenever I came to work, both would have already been gone and Damien would just leave a message to Trinity for me to hold his calls.
When did everything just go to hell?
I thought about calling them multiple times, but every time I would talk myself out of it, making excuses for why I should not. On Friday, I am not sure what got over me, but I just finally snapped and decided to confront Mark. I still had not seen him all morning, nor did he respond to the multitude of text messages that I sent him all day. But I made sure that I will be awake no matter how late he arrives home tonight. I am lounging on the couch, watching another episode of a random television show when Mark finally walks through the door. He looks disheveled: his normally well-combed hair has a messy look to it as if he has been running his fingers through it, his clothes look ruffled, and his boots are untied. He has definitely been drinking, and when I walk to him from the couch the smell of vodka on him confirms it.
"Mark! Where have you been?"
He does not acknowledge me and tried to head to his room. However, I am able to move a lot quicker than him, due to his drunken state, and block the door.
"Mark, we can't keep going on like this. Talk to me," I plead with him.
"Move April! I don't have time for this."
He slurs most of his words.
"When will you have time then, huh. This isn't healthy Mark. Bottle up your feelings and drowning yourself in alcohol is not going to fix your problems."
"Oh, look who wants to be all in tune with their feelings now," he barks back. "One minute you're coming over here and crying about-"
"Okay, now that's enough!" I cut him off. "Constantly throwing my indiscretions at me is not going to fix your problems. I've owned up to my issues."
"Oh really?" he says looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "And pray tell, where are Damien or Javier right now?"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You think I didn't hear the conversation that went down the other day? How they basically dumped you?"
I say nothing.
"Tell me again how you've dealt with your issues," he smirks.
"You can say all the nasty things you want to me. But it is not going to change the fact that you are going to be a father. You like Trinity. Hell, I think you love her even though you don't want to admit it. Why are you trying to fuck this up?"
"Because that's what I fucking do, okay!"
His voice is a loud roar, as though he has finally let out all of his pent-up aggravation. He sighs exasperated and walks to slump on the couch, his eyes staring straight at nothing in particular.
"It's what I fucking do," he continues. "All my life all everyone had seen me as is a piece of meat. Just something to fuck. She saw past that. And I just... I just don't know what to do with that. I've never had that before, and frankly... I just don't understand it."
"What do you mean?" I ask going to sit next to him on the couch.
"I don't know what do after. Like after the sex, I don't know what to do. Nobody has ever stuck around after. But she has. And... I... I just don't know what to do with that. What to do with myself."
"So, what? You're self-sabotaging?"
He says nothing and we sit in silence for a moment.
"Mark," say finally breaking the silence. "I'm only going to say this because I love you, okay."
He finally turns to look at me.
"Some of this is on you as well. I mean ever since high school you have gone around putting yourself as that kid. And you relished in breaking people's hearts and leading them on, even now. So yeah, they never stayed after... but neither did you, Mark."
He tilts his head at me but remains silent.
"I have royally screwed this up, haven't I?"
He lets out a slight chuckle.
"Yep."
I lean onto his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me.
"But it's not too late to fix this. She's really hurting, Mark. And feels like she's alone. Just at least talk to her. It's not going to fix itself with you hiding out in bars."
I get up and reach for his hand, pulling him up on the couch.
"I just... I just don't want to be a shitty parent," he confesses.
"Relax," I laugh. "She's only about a month pregnant. You still have eight more months to learn how not to suck. Besides, you somewhat raised me, and I think I turned out okay."
"Don't tell your mother that."
We both pause for a second then break into laughter at the same time.
"Okay, so go now," I give him a push towards the door. "Go fix this."
"Alright, alright."
He straightens up and continues toward the door himself. I slump back on the couch.
"But if I don't come back, you'll know it is because she killed me."
"You'll be fine."
"Says the one sending me to my doom."
He opens the door to leave but poked his head back in one more time.
"April... thank you."
"I love you."
"Love you too," he says smiling before he shuts the door.
~
Saturday arrives and I have still not faced Javier nor Damien. This is the longest we have gone without speaking to each other since this whole relationship began, and I definitely do not feel good about it. I arrive at my mom's house around noon alone as Mark is still busy trying to mend things with Trinity. He spends most of his time at her place and things seem to be going well. Trinity still has not forgiven him, "not even close" as she has informed me. She's definitely making him work for it. My mom lives in a more suburban part of Miami, whereas I live more in the city. She is always complaining about how I should move closer to home.
But like hell, I will.
The last thing I need is for my mother to be in such close distance to me that she will be able to torment me every day. Instead, now, she is only able to do it a couple times a week.
And that is enough for me.
My childhood home is just the same as I remember it: pristinely clean with not even a branch of grass out of place. As I am walking up the steps of the house, I can hear chatter coming from the backyard. I rind the moment, and in a moment my mother's boyfriend, Keshan, comes to open the door. Keshan is a strikingly handsome African American male with green eyes that remind me so much of Javier. His hair has changed since the last I saw him, now being a loose curly fro on tip of his head than his usual buzz cut. He also seems to have grown a bit of a five o'clock shadow adding to his rugged look. His is generous couple years younger than my mom but is really mature for his age. I really like Keshan, but I am honestly surprised that he is still around. Usually, most men that have come into my mom's like since she began dating again a few years back she has driven away with her inseverable religious babble.
"April!" Keshan says coming over to hug me.
He has a deep kind of voice that seems to vibrate every word in his throat.
"It is so good to see you."
"Hey, Keshan. Where's mom?"
"She's in the back entertaining. You know how she likes to be front and center at all these things."
He looks behind me confused.
"Where is Mark?"
"He's got his hands full for today. He could not make it, unfortunately."
"Well I guess it's more for the best," he says motioning me inside. "I know that he and your mom do not get along that well. Definitely, do not need the drama today. I need everything to be perfect."
"Perfect? What you are up to?" I look at him suspiciously.
He pulls me aside into the living room. Once he has checked that the coast is clear, he begins pulling something out of his pocket.
"Keshan, what is going on?"
Out of his pocket, he pulls out a small blue velvet box.
"Oh my god!" I scream.
"Shhh shhh," he laughs. "You know your mother has ears like a bat."
"I'm so happy for you," I whisper throwing my arms around him to give him a hug.
"Thank you," he laughs again. "But a haven't proposed yet."
"But of course, she is going to say yes," I reassure him. "My mom is totally in love with you. And I know you must really love her if you're still here."
"It has been really hard trying to keep this a secret."
"Keep what a secret?" my mom asks sneaking up on us.
I quickly cover Keshan, as he tries to stuff the box back into his pocket before my mom could notice.
"Oh, nothing!" I lie.
"It doesn't sound like nothing. What's with all the screaming?"
"Wow mom, you look beautiful in that dress."
I try to distract her by completing her peach floral maxi dress.
"Oh, thank you."
She gives me a spin causing the dress to flutter around her.
"Now come on," she says grabbing me around and pulling me to the backyard. "You've been in here way too long. Everyone is dying to see you."
She stops for a moment and turns to look at me.
"Oh, honey, where are your friends? Where's Mark? He better be here. His mother is going to be angry."
She says the part with obvious disdain in the tone of her voice.
"Mark has an unexpected event to handle. But I'm sure he'll stop by soon. And I told you not to invite Damien and Javier."
"But they are your friends," she says pinching my cheeks.
"Mom!" I try to push her hand off. "I told you I hate when you do that."
"Nonsense," she bushes my complaint aside.
She continues pulling me towards the backyard, where tons of people and conversing and drinking happily. Keshan also follows us back outside and thankfully pulls my mom away, dragging her to go look at something.
"I will be right back sweetie," my mom says waving at me.
I feel super awkward being here. Much of the people here I do not know. A few of my Catholic school friends I barely recognize from all the work they seem to have done. They look more like my mom's friends from her book club than the girls I remembered. Two girls wave at me as they laugh over their martinis and flirt with some other person I do not know.
"April!"
I turn around to see Mark's mom coming over to me, a martini in hand.
"Oh, hi Mrs. O'brian."
"Where's my son?"
"I-"
"He said he had some big news he needed to tell me and his father."
Wow! Mark is going to tell his parents that he's having a baby?
"He had something to attend to. He'll be here soon."
"He better be. His father was hoping to see him."
With that, she sassily walks off as if she had more important people to be talking to. I walk around the pool for a little, trying to avoid some people's glances towards me as they gossip.
"April! Oh, my goodness," I hear a voice from behind me.
I turn around to find Mrs. Schneider and her husband walking over to me. Mr. and Mrs. Schneider are an older couple who live next door. They have lived in that house for as long as I could remember and have practically seen me grow up.
"Child, you are a full woman now," Mrs. Schneider laughs coming to give me a hug. "I barely recognize you, you are so big."
"It's good to see you too Mr. and Mrs. Schneider."
"Now none of that Mr. and Mrs. Stuff anymore," Mr. Schneider laughs. "You are a grown woman now. We are just Marge and Frank."
"Got it. Marge and Frank," I say giving him a smile.
"So how are you dear? How come you never come around anymore."
"Life has just been keeping me very busy, you know."
"I hear that," Marge laughs, "your mother won't stop talking about the apparently crazy things you have been doing."
"Crazy things? How so?"
"Just the usual gossip. Nothing you need to worry your head over. Mr. Schneider says reassuringly. "We know your mother is way too talkative for her own good."
What the hell has my mother been telling people?
"Well, we're not going to bore you any longer. I'm sure you have more people you would like to say pleasantries to."
Marge and France give me a final hug before they go off to mingle with other partygoers. I walk around for a bit greeting a few people. It begins becoming overwhelming when everyone continues to pander me with questions about where I have been and why they have not seen me around as much. As much as I try to avoid their questions, they become so annoying that I am almost ready to leave when my mother pushes through the crowd to grab my arm.
"April, I have been looking everywhere for you," she says coming to pull be arm back into the crowd. "Now remember when I said I had a surprise for you?"
She asks the question with a slightly devious smile on her face.
"Mom what are you up to. You know you do not have to get me anything."
"Nonsense. Anyways, some of the ladies and I were talking, and we felt it was about time that you started dating."
"What, mom! What have you done? And why are you talking about me in your book club?"
I try pulling my arm away from her, but it is no use.
"Relax April," she brushes my concern aside, "I haven't done anything yet. Just helping two people reconnect with each other."
"What in the world are you going on about mother?"
"Your future husband obviously," she says this so casually.
"What!"
We finally make it through the crowd and end up by the bar where we find Keshan talking to the bartender and another man turned away from us.
"Jeremy," my mother taps the man on the shoulder. "You remember my daughter April."
Jeremy. Why does that name sound so familiar?
My mom finally releases my arm as the man turns to face us.
"April," Jeremy says my name with a smile.
Jeremy Schneider faces me and suddenly I feel like I am back in high school.
"It's so good to see you."
He pulls me into a warm and tight embrace.
"It's been so long," I say hugging him back.
"Well it looks like you guys have a lot to talk about," my mom interjects. "I will leave you both to it. Keshan, sweetie, there were a few friends over by the entrance who wanted to talk to you."
My mom quickly grabs Keshans arm and sneakily sneaks back into the crowd.
I swear that woman will not stop meddling.
"Wow, how long has it even been?" Jeremy asks with a small laugh.
"So long. I think it will be almost seven years this June."
Jeremy Schneider is the grandson of Mr. and Mrs. Schneider next door. He did not live with him, but he did come to visit them every weekend which is how he and I became close. When I finally came out of Catholic school and transferred to the public high school, he was the only person that I had known and was friends with until I met Mark. My mom had asked Mr. and Mrs. Schneider to ask Jeremy to show me around. She figured since he was a good Christian boy he would be of no threat and so he became my sort of mentor; though I had always wished he could be more. Jeremy was actually my very first real crush since I came out of being surrounded by girls all the time, but no matter how hard I tried he always looked past my advances. I guess since he was a junior while I was a freshman, he did not take me seriously, but only saw me as some lonely kid that he was forced to take pity. Once he graduated, he moved to go to college out of state and we barely saw each other.
"It's been that long! Where has the time gone?"
He scratched his head as if he is really trying to figure out what happened to the time.
"I don't even know. I mean I saw you that once summer when you came back from college. But after that, you just disappeared from our little town."
"Missed me did me?" his asks smiling and giving me a boyish smirk.
"You know I did," I smile back.
"And look how much you've grown. Mhp!"
He takes my arm and gives me a spin, causing my knee-length sundress to flutter around me.
"You, however, still look the same."
His somewhat curly brown hair is swept neatly to the sides and his blue eyes still had the same sparkle as I remembered. His jaw, however, is a lot squarer than I remembered, and his cheekbones are a little more defined now.
"So where have you been little April. Gossip around he is that I am not the only one who disappeared after they graduated."
"You know you should never take these folks gossip seriously. Especially from my mother."
"I hear that. My grandparents told me that ever since I came back, she's been practically planning our wedding," he laughs.
"Oh, my god! I am so sorry. I've told her multiple times to stop trying to set me up. Oh, Jeremy, I am so sorry."
I search the crowd for my mom in anger.
I can't believe her.
Jeremy takes a hold of my arm and turns me to face him.
"It's okay," he says, his laughter continuing.
"No, it's not. I have told her multiple times to stop with her meddling. But she never listens. She is driving me insane."
"Truly April, it's okay. No harm is done... Besides, married to a beautiful woman like you wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."
What?
I look up to meet Jeremy's blue eyes and he is smiling at me.
"What?" he questioned looking puzzled. "You know I always liked you."
Where was I for this?
"Oh stop," I playfully push him on the shoulder. "No, you did not."
"It's true," he admits. "I did."
Oh my god, he's being serious!
"I don't understand... how come you never said anything?"
This whole time I thought he always saw me as a little sister or something.
"I didn't want to overstep. You were so shy back then that I figured the only reason you really hung around me was that your mom and my grandparents forced you to. And then you and that kid... um... what was his name again?"
"Mark?"
"Yes, Mark! You guys got together. He had a certain reputation, and I figured you guys were an item."
"Mark and I dating? Oh no, you have it all wrong, we were just friends. I actually had a huge crush on you. I just figured you never really noticed me beyond... you know..."
"Oh, I noticed. How could I not? You have always been a beauty, April Watters."
I can feel my face beginning to burn up at his compliment. Too embarrassed, I start walking around the pool to which he follows.
"So where have you been? What have you been up to?" I ask trying to change the subject.
He takes the bait.
"The usual. Finished college, did the whole architecture thing. Now I'm working on starting my own company."
"That's amazing Jeremy."
I look up at him.
"So, what brings you back here?"
"Well, I'm actually a contractor right now. I'm only back for a little while because I'm working on a house not too far from here. I like to take jobs in different locations. It allows me to travel a lot more you know."
"How long are you staying for then."
"Shouldn't be more than a couple more months. Anyways, enough about me. So..."
He looks at me giving me a suspicious smirk.
"So?"
"So, what has the amazing April been up to. New jobs, friends... relationships?"
"... relationships huh?"
He shrugs.
"Well, it's complicated."
"So, you are seeing someone?"
He stops walking.
"Well... not exactly. I-"
"Everyone can I have your attention please!" Keshan begins speaking advertently halting out conversations.
He is standing, with my mom, on the top of the steps of the porch facing the crowd. Everyone simmers down after the moment to face Keshan and my mom, though I can still feel Jeremy's eyes on me.
"I would like to thank everyone for being here," Keshan continues. "I really wanted family and friends to be here today because it is actually a very special day."
Keshan looks at my mom and takes a hold of her hand.
"You see, I have known this special woman standing before me for three years now. And it has been the most amazing three years of my life. I mean, this woman is truly something special with how insane she has driven me for those last three years with all her antics. I'm sure you all can attest to that."
The crowd laughs.
"However, through it all, she has managed to make me fall in love with her more and more with every shenanigan that she pulls. And so, I would truly be insane if I were to let a woman like this get away. With that said,"
Keshan goes down on one knee and pulls out the small blue velvet box that he had shown me earlier.
"Cora Winifred Watters... will you marry me?"
Keshan opens the box to reveal the oval diamond ring inside. The crowd gasps and so does my mother. However, not in a good way. He eyes begin to well up in tears and she says nothing. Her face looks horrified. The crowd waits. I wait.
What is she doing?
"I'm sorry," my mom cries as she backs up like a scared animal. "I... I can't."
She quickly rushes back into the house, leaving Keshan still on bended knee, frozen.
What in the world just happened?